Hear ye, hear ye. I hereby call to order this meeting of the most illustrious Mages Guild! Ah, who am I kidding? As I'm sure we can all tell by the fact that most of the roof is missing, everything's gone to shit. This is what happens when I take vacation for the first time in five ages. I mean, really people, how the hells did you all pull this off? The ocean is ablaze, the mountains have shattered, and, worst of all, most of us are dead!
For the gods' sake, someone explain what happened while I work out a solution to this mess, it should take me until the end of the meeting.
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>poor little Emmi was prepared to eclectically prance to the mages tower for their biweekly meaning, but a ruffian had changed the sign from "Akitz, The Elvish Hating Empire" to "The Mages Tower" >So now Emilia toils at the bottom of a forsaken patch of dirt >It was highly inappropriate someone brought her gravestone to the meeting
Jayden Phillips
I claim zero responsibility for most of us being dead.
William Powell
Allow me to corporealize properly.
Josiah Mitchell
I did not have sexual relations with the sea spirit. Also i'm alive. Because it wouldn't be the darkest timeline if I weren't. I suggest doing copious amounts of drugs and then picking up the guild and moving it to a better timeline with blackjack and hookers and less dead people of importance.
Jordan Bell
>Now that is not an appropriate outfit for a meeting >Or so Emilia would say if she didn't suffer from post mortis jock rot
Caleb Brooks
>A short girl wearing sky-blue robes pops into the middle of the meeting hall with a distorted swish, gripping her witch hat tightly to her head against some unseen wind for a moment before relaxing. She looks pretty young, maybe around 14 or 15. >She looks around curiously. Hey, uh, what's the deal with uh... >She gestures toward the missing ceiling as a charred leaf falls down to her feet. That? When am I?
Owen Flores
Its a long story and involves a lot of drunken pyromancers and nobody to keep them in line because I sure as hell wasn't going to. You are...Sometime, somewhere. I rarely keep track. >Shes worn worse
Evan Russell
...
Ryan Reed
I'm not sure if I should find offence to that or not, though I suppose it would. Depend on my level of importance.
When? I suppose now, though I frequently lose track of the particulars of when now is.
John Green
>He walks in a with a click in his boots and a cane grasped hard Well it looks like we've really screwed the pooch on this one boys. I'm happy to say that the last explosion you heard resulted in my recent promotion, but it did kind of forced us to make a new department. Sorry about the ocean of fire thing. Jenkins really wanted to learn how to make Greek Fire. Well, can't you look through your fancy hour glass and tell us?
Isaiah Phillips
God damn it, Jenkins. What did I say about scribbling on my name tag?
Luke Parker
Don't worry, You aren't important at all kiddo.
Luis Richardson
>She rolls her eyes. Ugh, that's not much help. I sure wish the big Ant would keep a tighter rein on those cannonballs.
Now? Oh, that reminds me, I figured out a spell that measures the winds of now, I'll try that out... >She nods, then yawns, rubbing her eyes. Man, what a doozy though. Must've been something crazy.
'Hour glass'? What the slibberknob is an 'hour glass'?
Landon Moore
You know! One of these! >he pulls a little "hourglass" and flips upside down What's the big ol' hunk-a-glass for in the chronowing for?
Ayden King
Greetings everyone. >he says whilst twiddling his fingers It turns out that the majority of the guild dying has led to a massive queue of the free floating souls. So I've taken the junction to walk....alive again. It seems hell has closed to rebuild and rebrand it self as "Super Mega Hell"
It's actually quite warm. And now it's a debate if Asmodeus is the root of evil. Or if jaywalkers are truly the most horrid thing in the universe. It's quite an active debacle.
Grayson Parker
>She quickly walks over to you and peers at the hourglass. I've never seen something like that. Weird. >Her eyes widen. Waitwaitwaitwait, what? Chronowing? The guild has a chronowing? Yodeling drekdangles, how far forward did I get blown? It was a nasty storm, but... >She hops up onto a table and licks a finger, holding it up into the air as if testing the wind that only barely slips down from the ceiling.
Wait. I don't recognize any of you. I... >She sighs. Shortled hubrunks, I should just test the time. >The girl closes her eyes and closes her eyes, still on the table.
Jonathan Brown
I honestly don't know! I was out for a stroll yesterday afternoon, and when I came back, half the guild was in orbit!
I personally blame the chronomancers...
Jayden Kelly
>most of us are dead! great opportunity to rebuild the necromancy tower of the mage guild tho
just sayin'
Jose Roberts
I'm sorry, I'll have you know I am actually a Harkar Blunckle hierarchy of demons. Oh no, gods please tell me that Lazarus is not taking another ephmerical vaction.
Ian Perry
Have fun being alive I guess.
What actually happened? I was in my office and didn't notice anything until I left.
Blake Allen
Whoa there missy, your cloth is riding too high to be table riding like that. Anyways, the chronowings about that way. >he gestures his thumb behind his shoulder which is promptly followed by an explosion The Chronowing was that way.
Easton Bailey
I'm afraid to tell you this. But all the guild's funding has been destroyed, been looted by various people. Such as the "Economancers." Apparently not paying your bills for over 800 years is a bad thing.
Benjamin Martinez
>A girl clad in full cloth wrappings from her head to her feet stands up and stretches >Adjusting her goggles Quite an awful predicament. >She points You! Who are you!
Henry Gray
Assmmo....Pathmo.....what a mancer?
Samuel Smith
>Smug.jpeg
Landon Bennett
So, we should probably do a head count at this point. See who's left from which departments...
>He'd cast a look around at the half destroyed meeting room.
Anyone left from the Elemental department? Pyromancers, Aquamancers, ect.?
Christopher Miller
>The alcoholic Marcher drinks herself stupid from witnessing the end of days in the corner of the room WHAT ARE YOU SMILING AT?! IT'S THE END OF DAYS!
Josiah Powell
SAM-o-Mancer! I control sand. Acting as if you've never heard of it before!
Robert Taylor
Oh yes, how could that have happened?
Dylan Diaz
...... >says the tombstone >god damn it Pierre
Gavin Moore
Witchery, Though I was dead before this crap. >She downs a large bottle and tosses it aside. It was the- The... Oh for fuck's sake.
Grayson Smith
>She opens her eyes for a moment to respond. Hey, that's some garbage right there! I'm like one of the few and you know I don't do anything destructive like this! ...Well, actually, I have no idea who you are, so maybe you don't. I don't do anything destructive like this!
...What? You aren't making any sense. When'd something as esoteric as demons come into the mix? >She closes her eyes and licks her finger again, holding it up.
>Conveniently at that moment, her robes and hat start to be affected by what appears to be a powerful wind, making them ride a little higher at moments. >Strange, considering it doesn't seem to be affecting anything else and the air feels pretty still to you. >The girl's eyes shoot open. W-WHAT?! FIFTH AGE? >She stumbles back on the tabletop, falling back onto her rear with pure flabbergastment on her face. I didn't even know there *was* a fifth age! I figured someone would've screwed up too bad by now, or the big Ant would've just gotten fed up with us, or... >She takes a loooong blink and a deeeeeep breath, resting her head against her hand, propped against her knee as she settles into a criss-cross sitting position. Flambunkling grenbach tremulas in a pipul.
>She points to herself, surprised? Me? My name's Heimia. You need something, futuro?
Michael Russell
What? All I did was tear the tag off a mattress and engage in a cheeky spot of graffiti
David Collins
Alright... Thats the tombstone of the head of aeromancy...
How about the head of Pyromancy, and the other elements? I mean... You don't HAVE to be alive. I'm ok with getting a promotion!
Aiden Hernandez
Hey, I can blame who I want. Doesn't mean I'm right about it.
Anyways, who's to blame isn't the concern right now! We should be looking for survivors, and burying our dead.
...and promoting ourselves to better positions, if our higher ups are dead....
Gabriel Scott
.....so... >he brings his eyes around you instead of looking to you A geomancer? Are you of age? >he looks through the wind wondering where it could be coming from >Perhaps a breeze had come as a deathrattle from the Chronomancers and he looks towards the target it sways and catches a glimpse of new cloth H-hey get down from there! >pulling down on her robes as she stumbles onto her rump causing the witch to land on top of Torm Off!
Austin Turner
Futuro? Kissa. I've seen you somewhere. But you looked the same as you do now! >she smacks her head lightly to try and remember
Conspiromancer? Have any theories on what happened?
How dare you group me together with the geomancers! I am a Psammomancer! I do not deal with dirt and large boulders!
James Bennett
Which age are you from? I died in the fourth, It was a shite experience. ...I'm sorry what? Was this before, or after the SDE collapsed? Head of Witchery, the Crow is still alive I think, but she hunkered herself down in some far off coven. In my homeland, yes. Here? What does it matter, been dead several centuries anyway.
Brody Howard
AW FUCK YEAH! ME, STUG, AM THE NEW HEAD OF ELEMENTALISM
Levi Rodriguez
Yes, we get it... You like playing with pebbles, and tiny rocks. But the point is. Is you're able to work with earth based Magic's, correct?
Jace Jones
LIKE HELL YOU ARE!!!
Atleast, we need to find the body of the old head. Then we have a duel for his position, as is dictated by ancient traditions, that I totally didn't make up...
Chase Price
WHAT? YOU DARE CHALLENGE STUG?! >the 9 foot reptilian fully straightens up to 12 feet high
Jordan Morgan
SOMEBODY seems to have torn the tag off of Angmar the Foul's mattress rendering it unable to be turned in for a warranty replacement, which set that crotchety prick off. And said individual seems to also have discovered that certain words react more powerfully with explosive runes. WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?! PROVOKING ANGMAR TO RESTART THE MERCHANT WARS, ALLOWING THE MERCENARY LEGION TO RETAKE THEIR ANCESTRAL LANDS AND IRRITATE THE PIRATES INTO BRINGING ALCHEMIST'S FIRE TO VOICE THEIR DISPLEASURE ONLY TO HAVE IT PREMATURELY IGNITE DUE TO THE CARELESSNESS OF A CERTAIN INDIVIDUAL PREOCCUPIED WITH DEALING WITH ANGMAR'S RAMPAGE IN THEIR SECOND JOB'S CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPARTMENT?!
Michael Gomez
How do you think this started?
Cooper Nguyen
UHHHHH...
>He would point down the hallway, to the edge of a cliff.
LOOK! SOMETHING THAT STOLE YOUR CANDY, AND SAYS IT'S SMARTER THAN YOU!
Xavier Miller
Rolled 17 (1d20)
RAH! NO MY CANDY! PUNY MANCER GET MY CANDY! >He picks you up and tries to throw you
John Fisher
So, wait, there's a chronomancy department now? When did that happen? I mean, if the head's gone, I guess I could take over, but that's a pretty raw deal since I have no idea how long I'll be sticking around. Might pop out in a minute or so, really. >She tests the air with her finger again and gets briefly buffeted by an unseen gale. Maybe when things calm down a bit.
>She rolls off and quickly rights herself, brushing off her front and back. No tugging, I might not've fallen if you didn't pull so much. Who even are you? Where's the big Ant?
You have? But this is the FIFTH AGE! I pretty much stick to the first and second, one time I accidentally hung around in the third for a bit, but I figured things went to viprits after that. Maybe I ended up here some time before and didn't realize it...?
Uhhh... >She adjusts her hat, screwing up her mouth in thought. I've hopped around so much that I'm not sure I remember. I think I'm from the First. Pretty early first. What's the fourth age like?
Eli Morgan
Well, it happened when most of the mages in this guild went to hell.....
Samuel Gutierrez
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>"Fuck..."
>He would be sent flying towards the end of the blown up hallway. >Quickly thinking up a plan. He would cause a massive build up of ice to form into a slide, that would send him back towards Stug
Easton Miller
I work with material that comes from the earth. Yes, if that is what you're asking.
Glad I have layers over my ears. So Angmar did this? Is your theory?
Im not one to mistake a face. And yours is one i've seen! Fifth Age or not.
Kevin Green
AHAHAHAHAHA! FINALLY, YOU FUCKERS DIED! AHAHAHAHA!
Luis Murphy
>But instead of landing upon his feet. He would land harshly on his ass.
...Ow...
William Carter
When the Archwizard took a vacation and everything went to shit. Terrible. Everyone I loved died. Other than that progress was actually going backwards, it was a terrible time. Fifth age managed to kick us out of that rut and get research moving again.
Justin Hill
Well, it was a lot of shit at once. Not the least of which, I wrote the words "Johnston Atoll" in explosive runes. As soon as I was unsupervised, yes.
Xavier Thompson
>He lays on the ground between the legs of the time witch and has his hands over his eyes I am Torm! The head of Neo-Alchemy, I have been it's founded leader for a whopping 23 minutes. A department record. You fool! With the death of the mages, the number of paladins is gonna sky rocket!
Ian Stewart
NOT NOW, SLAUGHTERIUS! WE'RE HAVING AN IMPORTANT MEETING, TO DISCUSS WHO GETS A PROMOTION! COME BACK TOMORROW MORNING!
Good! That means that we can reform the four elemental departments, instead of having "Chicken dinner" be our boss.
Ayden Powell
IS CANDY DOWN THERE?! >Stug yells across the cliff's face
Brandon Morales
GOOD! I'M GONNA SLAUGHTER THEM TOO! I'M GIVING MYSELF A PROMOTION!
James Russell
>wanders around looking for her students Girls? Girls?
Jordan Davis
All Elementals in favour of reforming the four elemental departments, say "Aye". All opposed, say "nay".
Henry Sanders
I WAS ALREADY DEAD YOU FUCK. >Tosses an empty bottle of spirit at the lich. ...Oh my gods, I thought the Atoll runes were just a theory. So uh, have you seen Ginny anywhere?
Cooper Jackson
I see. So you are telling me you have no part in the death of everyone?
I refuse to be a part of the geomancy department. Nothing against you. Nay.
Nolan Diaz
>Here lies Emilia and Jill's students >Maybe the field trip to Akitz wasn't a good idea
Michael Clark
No >is clearly shell shocked >has clearly already been slapped silly by others trying to snap her out of it
Wyatt Garcia
You'd become it's head... AND you would get a massive payraise!
Lucas Wood
Lembrockling. I don't recall things being so hellish. Or, rather, things didn't used to be such a way. Kinda.
Oh, tutrins. Guess I won't visit. Or maybe I will. I have no idea. >She takes off her hat and lays down on a table, setting the hat beside her. Ugh. I'm wiped.
>Heimia spins around awkwardly on her stomach on the table, peeking her head over the edge. Hey, could you not? I'm not even standing over you anymore, so if you could just relax, that'd be shamfennils.
Luis Smith
Well, not directly. It was this awful domino effect. I did blow the roof off and set half the guild on fire with the explosive runes though, that was... unexpected. So, how much worse does this have to get before we just find a new timeline and designate that one as the prime timeline? Me too. It took a mana crystal the size of a house to get the things to go off.
Justin Long
PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIED AGAIN, I NEED TO PROVE MY THESIS TO THE FUCKER WHO KICKED ME OUT.
Oliver Ramirez
Oh, you don't want to see the otherside.
Aaron White
Ill pass. Wouldnt allow me to adventure out, now would it?
The guild would most likely have to be destroyed.
Henry Reyes
>he peaks through his fingers before letting them fall off his face Why.....you...my mother was not...a fennils! You...doodleburg! >... Wait, what time were you from again?
Anthony Hughes
We don't exactly have any Chronomancers left to do such a thing.... Only the Arch-wizard is still powerful enough to do such things.
Lincoln Sullivan
...I mean, I can write a few more of the things.
Colton Kelly
Now you are starting to sound like you started this all in the first place. Pierre? Have something to say?
Isaiah Taylor
...Did you, ever actually sign her permission for that field trip with Emilia, or did Ginny forge it? How the hell did you end up in this time anyway? Where the hell did you detonate THAT? NO I ONLY DIED ONCE. Had a half dead friend who ended up dying twelve times till she worked out Pseudo-immortality, it was a mess.
Kevin Garcia
Well, let's incentivize him to roll back the clock then, shall we? >Why does he have a marker out? >Why does he have that look in his eye?
Luke Hill
OH, THAT'S FUNNY! I NEED TO GO CHECK THAT OUT! YOU! CRAZY CAT PERSON! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, FUCKBOY?
Angel Bennett
Pyromancy department testing room. I thought it could withstand it. Actually, yes. NEVER. CANCEL. MY. VACATION. AGAIN!
Joseph Edwards
NO! The last time someone tried to "incentivise", the Arch-Wizard. He destroyed half a continent, and licked baby!
Jordan Turner
>Random Redrobe appears holding a clipboard Uhm, I'm sorry to say this, but we need you to work this weekend.
Jaxon Bennett
ALL THIS! OVER A VACATION? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE!?!all in favour of banishing Conspierre, to the realm of enteral sadness, and sucidial despair for a "vacation", say 'Aye'...
Aye!
Benjamin Perry
I... Don't think I ever said that I did. Is it really that bad, though?
Oh, sorry. I'm Heimia, I think I'm from the first age. Pretty sure I am, at least. It's hard to remember, I've been a lot of places. >Heimia combs her fingers through her hair for a moment, then rests her chin on her hands folded upon the surface of the table.
I, uh.... >She screws up her mouth, then sighs. Honestly, not really sure. I was just trying to take a jaunt into the second age, but some really violent gusts came at me out of nowhere. I thought I handled them pretty well and would still end up where I wanted to be, but turns out they were waaaaay more violent than I thought and I uh, ended up here, looking around like a gordlo.
Parker Cook
Well, that's highly interesting. So like....what is a time witch? Cause we don't have those here in the fifth age. >he sits up and shakes his head
Aaron Bell
I wouldn't. She ended up friends with some crazy goddess, as well as said goddess' daughter. Holy crap someone send a message back in time that we need to restart the Akitz convention. NONONO YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE! Damn, that's harsh. How long does it usually take to travel around?
Nathaniel Smith
OH NO, A PLACE WHERE I SIT AROUND FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF INSTEAD OF RUNNING THREE DEPARTMENTS?! OH HOW HORRIBLE! NOT THE BRIAR PATCH!
>BEGINS SCRIBBLING ON THE FLOOR
Xavier Lee
I LICK BABIES ALL THE TIME, AND NOBODY COMPLAINS UNTIL I BREAK OUT THE SPICES! FIGHTING GODDESSES?! FUCK YEAH, GOTTA GET ME SOME OF THAT SHIT!
Landon Gray
Rolled 4 (1d20)
STUG VOTE WE GO IN VACATION! >he picks up Malikai again and runs into a portal to The Realm of Eternal Sadness
Joshua Brown
P-Pierre! Lets reconsider this! NO YOU MOST CERTAINLY DON'T!
Christian Torres
>he pats Pierre Glad to see you're a team player. Also we're turning you lunch from 45 minutes to 20.
James Lee
>oops, dropped my nametag
Aiden Jackson
MY MIND IS SET!
William Sullivan
NOTHING'S A BAD IDEA IF YOU DO IT HARD ENOUGH! LET'S GO DO SHIT THAT'S AWESOME!
