Galactic Federation Thread

"Prepare for combat, All Drones prepare for combat drop."
>The space-time continuum screamed in agony as the Centarian Crusade fleet plowed through the Waves of the Void, Swarms of Censors and Drones tended the fleet and acted as a defense screen for the large rectangular platforms the Censor's called "Space-ships."
>"Commandant The Fleet is pretty sure we've reached the hot spot the nightling was telling us about."
>Commandant Doufrenky did not need to be nervous, the data the recon organism transmitted, showed a complete lack of competence among the upcoming galaxy's inhabitants.
>War left, little for niceties with a curt thanks, the Marshal made his way to the ship bay.
"Censors Hear me, Today we shall Judge the inhabitant's of galaxy 540680."
"Our warmachines shall ram them underneath, our air forces will clear the skies of their foul and unwanted presence, our mighty army shall sweep them aside in a blaze of torment." "FOR THE PANPADRE! FOR THOSE WE CHERISH WE DIE IN GLORY!!"
>"FOR THE ALL FATHER!!"
>The gathered Censors and Drones had gotten loud and rowdy at that last chant, in a rush the Marshall-commandant grabbed his Anti-personnel matter destroyer, and flexed his massive wings.
>Why command forced them to wear these stupid outfits, when a censor of his station would be more suited to a simply bigger gun and a better hat.
>A cool one
>with little wings or something.

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>Astral jerks "awake" his mind coalesting into its single form rather than spread among the many instilations it administrates.

I sense something.....I dislike this something

"OOoooo, spooky huh?
Don't judge em too hard Astral, they're new here and probably expecting a fight, or some resistance."
>Beally setup a lawn chair next to Astral.
"Check this out."
>She flexes her tendrils.
3

Haha well currently Eortan space is a massive,insane hole In reality,we've killed a Court entity and currently the other is going insane from the pain and we've mostly defeated the Horde so I think we'll be judged quite worthy little one.

6 is divisible by 3 it checks out.

"Who ya callin little ya humie?"
>A psionic communication is projected through the galaxy.
>An overwhelming sense of dread sweeps over the galaxy.
"The same goes for the rest of you."

"You'd better, I don't want to have to find someone else."
>Beally looks down.

>astral looks at the direction the message seems to come from. it seems that astral can detect psionics as well

COME ON YA BIG GREEN GROTS, COME ON. YOU WANNA HURTG MY FRIENDS? COME ON

"You again! You do you keep following me around you Centarian slime?"
>Beally looks at astal with a flustered look on her face.
"Did you hear that too?"

>a hard light being manifests, the face is a poker face

I heard nothing. nothing

"Well yeah asked for it!"
>The creature rears it's head up in smugness.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!!!"
>The scream is projected psionically then the galactic wide link is cut.
>That whole session was broadcasted to the whole galaxy.
>The procession reaches a halt outside the Eortan Rift.
"WAAAAGHERE TOO?"
>The celestial navigation looks at the star charts lovingly drawn from Beally's memory.
>"Yo, here is where the best fun is."
"Where is here exactly?"
>"Don't you mean when?"
"ARGHHH!"

"Thats the plan senpai."

>astrals face is blank

this shall be amusing

don't call me senpai

You of course. And do you really think you can intimidate a galaxy already under threat by universe destroying beings,a galactic war on two fronts, and psionic entities that want to destroy the universe as we know it? Because I sure as hell ain't afraid.

"Senpai, pai pai pie pie pie!"

"Well I did until you started talking back like that."
>They're legit in your head now.
"So little homo-sapian, tell me, where is the most worthy of you?"
"Our thirst for battle is matched only by out thirst for good drink!"

>astral frowns then disappears


>a few seconds later the alarms begin to go off

SELF DESTRUCT ACTIVATED, YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS TO ABOANDON THE STATION

"But the people!
You monster!"

don't call me senpai, now say sorry

9 seconds left

"That seems a little excessive, a whole station mate?"
>The Censor is disgusted.
"Are you the mightiest?"
"THEN I SHALL BE YOUR OPPONENT!"

N-NO SENPAI! STOP IT SENPAI!"
>Beally batters Astral with her Void Talons.
"S-stop it! s-top!"

I don't care, I want an apology

and 5 seconds left.

but yes I shall dual you, but on my terms

that pic is perfect for what will happen

Ohhh head straight to the rift in Eortan space. That's where all the good shit to fight is.

"Good lookin out my nigga!"
>The censor does a little jig
"You heard the humie! Party time!"
>The fleet does a bee line for the nearest planet on the rift.

>the counter hits zero and the station begins to rock and shake several wings beginning to fall off and the majority of the station heads for the nearest star at a light day

If you see OMEGA there he probably wants to fight too and there's gonna be a lot of shit in the rift to kill too so go straight in there.

"H-hey don't say that!, we have to guide them to the enemy or they'll blindly destroy everything on the way to the RIft then they'll probably destroy the rift."
"Not cool man."
>Flies out carrying survivors in hair atmosphere pockets.

>The censor scarthes his head.
"The little humie wants us to fight his enemies for him, then we'll do you one better. We'll grant you the ultimate service, and put you out of your misery for good."
>the Censor starts laughing his head off.
"HAR HAR HAR, HUMIE! YOU ARE KILLIN US."

>the nearest star gets bigger and bigger making the station appear to burn bright red in the heat, the light from the star flickers slightly as it travels.

>astrals shell sits down having a lunch of chair with a firghtend looking chef

very nice isn't it, the star?

Astral you do know there are other people on the station? At least detach the rest of the habitats first you team killing fucktard.

that's the idea. but don't worry I'm sure she will appolgise. chair sandwitch?

>he holds out a chair sandwitch, it look disgusting

"Pal, it looks like the real problem here is this maniac."
>The censor coveys a feeling of worry.
"Has he been doing this for long?"
"I'm so sorry mate, this isn't the idea of a good time."

Ahhh so you're afraid of the Rift's creatures? Sounds like it to me. You could be focused on some insane killing machines in the greatest ship grave yard in all of known space but I know you don't want loot or glory.

"Don't worry I managed to grab ,all, of them."
>But it's draining you know.

>the station is about to crash into the star, the inhabitants feel the heat wave almost boiling and ...... the star flickers and disapperars and the heating returns to normal.

wow you were willing to let the station die for pride? how selfish.

>the station floats back to its correct positioning

very selfish. but on the upside I think my holograms are getting better

>You could be focused on some insane killing machines in the greatest ship grave yard in all of known space but I know you don't want loot or glory.
>The grin on the Censors face is too wide is supress even through psionic link.
"Loot,Fightan? and creatures?"
>The Censor is literally shaking the link with excitement.
"yeah yeah yeah!"
"After we're done with you humie!"
"Your loot looks a lot better considering you been krumping them all this time."

"I was going to save everyone in the station, you trash, I hope the End kills you."

you could have saved them if it was real, you just held onto pride. and nothing can KILL me. I was never alive just sentiant

"Oooo-o we've got just the gubbin for you, git."

"The gun that saps...Oh the sword or did you mean the bat of knowledge?"

Yah you dope as if I'd let those people die.

Well we just left them to their own devices because they seem to be the biggest and the strongest to us and they'll definitely be krumpin you as soon as you enter the galaxy.
>Laughs to himself thinking of them running from a bunch of Court monsters
Haha you'll never be the best.

[I need to charge up my ipad, be back in an hour or so]

[also that pick means he would have carried on and sacrificed those people in a heart beat to win the battle]

>astral dissipates in a huff

tell cater I called in, and hand him the disruptor blueprint, I minimised it

"You wanna bet? Seriously I'll put five.. one of these!"
>Pulls out random trinkets out from between a scale, they begin to glow various colors including red,green,blue,and purple.
"But seriously, you aren't smart humie, trust me I've met and drank with smarter, and you my homo-erectus friend are not one of them."
>The Centarian rears up, and throws it's hat to the ground.
"Humie bastards think dey's can trick us censors into fightan some weaklings they are not the Eldari."

"" Ok I will."

>The Censor picks it's hat off the floor.
>The emblem D

I think we should settle this the only civilized way we can. With the first Federation sponsored dance battle.
I want shenanigans. Specifically silly dance shenanigans

"So you humans have discovered the power of dance have you excellent...GORBASH PREPARE THE MOBILE DANCE ARENA!!"
>The censor jumps and in place and waves its wings like it just don't care it's long tail soon following suite.

"That's how you get em commander!"
>Beally rushes to get her grass shirt and hula dress.

I call Carter on my team. You can chose your four best dancers and the galaxy's finest from each species will be there representing the Federation and each races unique dance skills.

"Gotcha, I assume well shall be meeting in person real soon, whatever you call yourself."
>The link finally cuts, and the galaxy is once again free from the sense, that feeling.

>Carter walks in

Hey guys wh-
>He sees the rest of the station.There are melted pieces,broken windows,and gunshot holes.
........
..............
Okay.

You all better have an explanation for this.

"That Astral fella did it."
>"Yeah some dick head."

And now we're having a team dance battle for the fate of the universe. Federation sponsored of course.

"Is this Astral person part of your little ,federation,?"
>The Censor raise an eye horn, it's scarlet eyes with a derisive glare.

Astral?
>Carter sighs

I expected as much
A dance battle?
Huh.So,how many dancers?Acts per dancer?
Yep.
Who are you?

>The Censor's horns flare and misma starts to waft from its nostrils.
"I am Lord Marshall of this here crusade fleet, We're here because someone."
>The Censor gives smirk in a random direction.
"Promised us free food, and a lot of cool shit to take."
>The Censor smiles, then starts to chortle in agony.
"HAR HAR HAR."

And who did that?

"Don't you dare answer that question."

No,I'd like an answer.

Also,I left the gourd you rolled up in on room 104's bed.
After,uh,you know.

Anyways,I wish to know why there is now a Censor in this galaxy.

"What else? The Nightling Drone we shot into your galaxy...Nyarlotep..is that you, buddy Nyarly you gotta stop showing to these things man,also Boss man says 'Poker night Tuesday'."
>"Hey who you gabbin at?"
"No one yah grot."
>"Ay yeah you iz lemme see."
"And how'se you'z gonna see trhough my mind meld Celestial?"
>"I'm your fuckin navigator that's how!"
"Oi what the fuck do yous think ya doin!? that doesn't go dere, or dere!"
>"Oi is dids fockin celestial fockin botherin you boss?"
"WHY FOCK THE ASKARGHHHHHHHH!!"
>The censor shakes his head in anger.

And what do you mean Rift creatures?
Are you guys gonna fight the Court?

>a Censor
"O-oh funny thing about that..."
>Beally looks down in utter defeat.
"The crusades here now, it's floating somewhere near Eortan space.

>Despite his combat form having just a mouth and being a monstrosity,Carter still seems annoyed.

Again,I am not Nyarlathotep.He is a friend of mine,though.

Anyways,by nightling,do you mean Beally?

Eortan space is currently gone,after OMEGA was shot and ate it all before disappearing.

But why are they here?

"Again? It's not every day someone accuses you of being nyarly, Nyarly."
"Do not ask that filthy rebel about our motives, for we have nothing to hide."
>At once a massive mind-meld over comes the galaxy.
>"We are the Centarian Empire
"Fear us for we are many."
>"Fear us for we are one."
"Fear me for the ass the kicking this galaxy is about to get!"

>Carter appears unfazed.

I don't hear anything.Are you guys using psionics?I am afraid to inform you that I am a null.

Could you say your motives out loud?

Also,I am not Nyarlathotep,why would I be?

>Beally's face is overcome with fear..
"Carter! Carter whats happening."
>Beally's green eyes go blank, darker than the super massive black hole in the center of the galaxy
""We are the Centarian Empire.
"Fear us for we are many."
"Fear us for we are one."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
>The psionic backblast hurls Beally through Carters room.

>Are you guys using psionics
"I am truly sorry that you must deal with those, slime, in this galaxy aswell. no I am speaking through the power of the Pan-Padre, it is through his influence that all life be connected through his voice, our voice."
"As for you being null, I'm afraid I have nothing for you to nullify, unless you'd like to bet on it?"
>The Censor bares his teeth, or you feel him bare his teeth through the "meld" as they call it, it also conveys a feeling of boredom.

>Carter runs toward the now evident hole in the wall,and helps her up.

Okay,two things.
One,104 was the only room the Serenity allowed me in and now it's trashed,so thank you.

Two,those motivations are really vague,almost as vague as Echo's.
That reminds me.I gotta go check out his equipmemt I took.
Again,I can't feel anything,dude.
And I don't know who the Pan Padre is.

Plus,I don't "nullify".Do you even know what a null is?I'm practically dead up there.To everything,really.

So,why are you here?And please answer in a better way then that.

>The Censor rubs his head with a wing-tip.
"Mortals these days..."
"Alright smart ass, I'm here to have fun, anything else my orders, my commands, my directive in life... comes second."
>The censor starts laughing
"He he eh TMI!"
>"Oi Who iz you talkin to m8?"
"Noone git keep yah fockin eyes on the path you overadapted map reader."
>"oi just because i'm steerin the fockin battle cruiser doesn't mean i can't wipe the floor with yah."
"I'LL FIGHT I'LL FIGHT I'LL FIGHT YOU!"
>"Oi mate don't mind us, we're not bad censors honest, it's just you've got problems and we want to help."
"Oi don't spoil the big reveal you fuck up."
>"OI WHAT ARE YOU DRONES ON ABOUT."
"Lord-General please do not mind us."
>"Yeah what DoDo said."
>"Will you Andronian slime buckets get to work."
>The gathered censors stand at attention.
"Sir yes Sir!"

Have fun?
Are you serious?
Just go somewhere else to do that or something.It isn't worth the hassle here.

What do you mean we have problems?

"Yes of course, I'm serious 110 percent of the time."
>The censor pulls a list out.
"This little shopping list here is everything that Nightling as told us about."
>The list glows slighty.
"You should elaborate cause I think the Nightling's report was highly falsified."
"She reported, huge reality bending monstrosities and a vast unexplored landscape teeming with monsters,and a huge station filled with goodies, when we arrived one of your own inhabitants tried to destroy said station."
"You are deeply troubled indeed."

Well,we can handle the reality bending monstrosities,and Astral overreacted.

The sation isn't that filled with goodies either,but you could just,you know,ask for some.

And the landscape you speak of is no problem either.

So I don't think we're that troubled.

And why was Beally sending over info?

"Unit 645B is a surveyor-drone Nightling, everything she does,sees,and learns is transmitted back to C.I.M for processing, Do you want me to explain Centarian bureaucracy to you? Stop stalling and die!"
"Leave it to nyarly to think he can handle everything alone, like you did that boat huh?"
>Snickers
"Well if you have no troubles, will I better go make some."
>The Censor says with a huff of misma.
"And tell your little humie friend that Rift of 'iz is a goner."
>"Cause there was nothing there!"
>"Yeah he tricked us!"
>"You people are despicable."

"I didn't mean too, they're watching me."
>Beally's shoulders and hair slumps down in defeat.
"Awww jeez rick."

Stalling for what?I just walked in to say hi and offer Beally some lunch,not to see the station get trashed and talk to you guys.Jeez.

And again,I am not Nyarlathotep,dammit.What boat are you even talking about?

Regardless,why would you make trouble?
Is there any way to disable your surveyor capabilities?

"hmm is their anyway to disable a permanent mental connection to a bunch of assholes....hmmmmmm, you have to kill me."
"Also what are we eating today? WacArnolds?"
"I wanted to try Sharma King."

"Not to talk to you guys ay?"
>The Censor's nostrils flare up misma pouring forth.
"Well try to avoid talking to us when We're burning whatever place..."
>"Wastelands Sir, the being you are talking to is Carter of the Carnem Wastes."
"Eh..I don't buy it for a second...,Carter,

What don't you buy for a second?
Well,I could try to disable it.Set it to an alternate frequency,or synapse your consciousness through a fishnet.

And Sharmaking would be fine.

"Well we can try, I suppose if you want to, or you can just end my suffering now please, end it."
>Beally rubs her face.
"I can't wait to eat some Sharma."

"Nothing at all, Carter,"
>The Censor rotates it's draconic face into that of a smug ass shiting eating grin.
"Nothing at all. So where are the brave and industrious inhabitants of Galaxy 049567

"I bet you scared them all away of maniac."
"These people aren't ready for this level of warfare."
"Please take it easy on them, they don't know how it be in the multiverse, everyday anotha sucka tryna take the crown."

Naw,I'll try to fix that whole unknowing drone thing.

We'll be going there in a sec.
I don't know,I don't catalog galaxies using that system.I just name em.

And what did you say about burning a place?You better not be burning Jhool Prime,their food is awesome.

Is someone implying I am incapable of havoc? How rude

"No don't name drop planets!"
"Fuck fuck fuck!"
>Beally Screams out in terror.

Who the...

>Carter stares at the newcomer.

Who are you?

"NONOONNONONONONONONOONONONON, PSYKERS NEED TO GET OUT, IMPERIUM NEEDS TO LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ahh I apologise my box is malfunctioning

How did the raiding go?

They won't fuck with Jhool Prime,that place is the Noo home planet.They'll leave that one for last to eat the food.

Either way,I heard about a dance off.

Why that piker was rather interesting, he even taught me a can't

youtube.com/watch?v=wy-sVTaZRPk

Raiding?
The whole sector of Eortan was vaporized,nothing could be grabbed except Echo's stuff.
And I earned that,so it is mine.

Why did you try blowing up the station?

"FOOD? A planet known for it's food and i'm assuming food producing qualities."
>"It's on the list!"
"Fuck it, strap yourselves in!"
"Machine-brother of Mars, this humble servant of the father greets you."

Because I called him senpai.

A story for another rime dear carter, at least tell me you got someone to break.

The omnissiah guides, but I must ask why you threaten my friends

How about no,ya greenhorn of a galactic conquerer.

I challenge you to a contest.One that involves the greatest measure of skill known.
One,no I didn't sadly.All the Horde and Eortan forces were either vaporized or had left.

Two,why would you call him senpai.

Three,why would you harm up the station over that.

"I threaten no one, but you Abominable Intelligence, are the threat. I have seen the ruse you've pulled on Beally, it is no honest guide, you are a purgation in the making, and because of you I may be forced to rethink my plans for this galaxy."

I called him senpai because the filter won't let me say f a m.

hmm that is amusing, I like how you believe you may stop me. and I am not an abominable intelegence, I am this units spirit