Field Kit Inspection!: Fun in a Bottle II Edition

>The exciting continuation of

Well lads... That should do it for our weekly quota of Genestealer cultists!

Other urls found in this thread:

discord.gg/M7kd2
discord.gg/Csg8A
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First patriarch I have killed. Not the last.

THERE SHALL BE NO DELAYS!
PERFORM THE OPERATION AT OMCE!

Rolled 56 (1d100)

SCREEEECH
>Begins making lunch, it's the genestealer soup
>Burns down the crate with "meat"
[roll for quality of the soup]

>Matthias would let out a small sigh of relief, as he takes a seat.

Someone rmind me to recite the litany of Accuracy more often. It feels like it's not working enough for me...

>Rolling to enhance the Spawn's soup making skills
>30+ to cast seeing this psychic power really isn't hard to do

ok. Please stop that...

Have you tried stopping the chant and then starting again in binary?

Rolled 91 (1d100)

Alright. My head is trying to kill me. What happened?

>The newly promoted Captain , would chuckle at this, as he continues to clean his hotshot lasgun.

Can't say I have, Magos. I'll try remember to do that, next time.

We encountered a hive of Genestealer cultists. If it were not for the bravery of our men and this regiment where my trust is put in, we would not have survived.

>The Commissar would pat the trooper on her head., As he bandages up her head.

You were almost taken prisoner by those cultists, Corporal. But a stray gatling round from the Magos' knight, blew you away from them, and caused you to hit a rock.

You're quite lucky to be alive.

I was asleep when I heard shots and screaming. Woke up to a small battle. We sure have fun here

>Brings an above average genestaler soup
SCREEECH SCREEECH, SCREE SCREE SCREEECH
>Points at dead genestealers
SCREE SCREE SCREEECH
>Points at a dead patriarch

We do, but alas, I am exhausted. Manifesting powers from the warp is harder than it looks.

It's never a full time, when you have something to shoot at. Or when something is shooting back AT you, for that matter.

Snazzy. I'll need some painkillers now, and-
>blushing.jpeg
... I suppose I'll thank the emperor. For many good reasons.
No, just, just no. No. I am sure it is really good but the regimental doctor says I shouldn't anything that can use an autocannon.

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>Casting a healing power onto your head
>40+ to cast

*muffled sawing noises*

>Rho pokes his head around the corner, a cable leading from somewhere inside his ears into a micro-vox unit
Apologies, I had my music turned up loud.
...I didn't miss anything, did I? I wouldn't normally ask, considering the fresh melta and bolter scars in the walls that would normally be a sign that something noteworthy did occur.
But, well... it's sort of become the new normal this past week.

Goddamnit Dark Souls, I wasn't paying attention to the time or Discord and now I'm this bloody late.

>i've played anough dark heresy to know how wrong that can go
OHey, what are you doing? Ouch ouch- Oh wait, it doesn't "ouch" anymore actually. Good job...

>Noticing her red face. He would plant his one fleshy hand upon her forehead. Trying to see if she has a fever.

You're going a deep red, Corporal! Do you have a fever?

My apologies if I do say I am disturbing you, but may I ask, may you craft me a plasma pistol? It will help me in close quarters with people who oppose the Emperor

>Watching all of the guardman around the woman, spilling their spaghetti
Pity

N- Yes! But it's just the fever of the battle sir! I'm just sorry I iddn't manage to slag anything big this time... I'll do better, sir!
>holds still, awaiting summary execution

WELL let's not waste out time here. I believe it is in order to eat some food now that we are all exhausted.

>Brings genestealer soup
SCREE SCREE SCREEEH
>Points at the dead genestealers
SCREEECH SCREEEECH SCREE
>Points at the dead patriach

>I'd whistle for the Spawn
Pawn? Pawn! Come here Pawn!

yeah lets put the prawn on the barbie

>He would... Actually flash her a smile? What in the Emperor's name!? As he continues to pat her head.

Well, just relax for now. We'll have a medic take a look at you soon enough.

>It was only then, that she would realise her head was in his lap.

(Wrong character! It's supposed to be the Commissar! Ignore the name placed there!)

>if corporals could melt down this one surely would right here, right now.

>Lumbers towards Halls
SCREEEECH
>Slaps Halls for thinking he's some animal

No you idiot! Where is the soup you made?

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>a muffled Gregorian chant version of Sgt. Pepper's emanates from Rho's audio implants
Plasma? It's not my best, but it is still easily done!
I think I spotted some plasma canisters back in the armory.. yes, give me a little time, I'll send what I can do.

Acquisition roll, +50 success with superior components on notably big rolls.

>looks at dead Tyranid bioform
>looks at soup
>worried about actually tasting it, he empties the vessel into his auto-nutrient implant tank
My thanks, I was running low.

SCREEECH
>Gives soup and an extra chocolate bar as an apology

>The older man would tilt his head at her expression. Incredibly puzzled by it.

Corporal? Are you alright?

discord.gg/M7kd2 (for those who'd like to join the discord channel, and keep up to date on things! Because I know most of you haven't joined it yet!

Rolled 24 (1d100)

>I'd pat the Spawn on his head
>I'd cast a happiness power onto the spawn to give him happiness
>40+

>the power doesn't manifest
Damn...

Yes! I'll need to... go check my equipment now. Maybe some it is was damaged in the fight... sir.
does it have anything to do with the old penal regiment?

...
>Shrug
>Walks away

*that looks great rawr*
*pass some over rawr*

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>Attempts to re-cast
>50+

>Looks for a moment
SCREEEECH
>Gives soup

it is their old discord yes. Why already on it?

Emperor with me I am too tired

>a few minutes of scurrying about among some crates, an auto-bleeped censored curse later and Rho emerges with a few disjointed bits of metal and raw material
There was a canister, but depleted, and for whatever reason the munitorum sent the regiment a crate of primers instead of actual maintenance supplies.
I can still do something -wooden grip perhaps- but without some actual plasma it will just be a very valuable decoration.

...Now where could i get some plasma at short notice..

...
>Goes to storage for cooking oil, for the dinner

>He would nod his head, before letting her get up.

I'd suggest not falling, if you can help it, Corporal. You won't be doing anyone any favours, if you get yourself hurt.

*thanks rawr*
*cranial surgery performed by uneducated mind controlled peasants really takes it out of you rawr*

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>ATTEMPTS TO RE-CAST SO I MAKE THIS SPAWN HAPPY ;-;
>40+

kek

Rolled 10 (1d10)

SCREEECH
>Pawn searches storage for cooking oil
[5+ for finding]

seriously man? Do you really enjoy him that much? Also,where is he even spawning from!? Isn't there so.ething else you'd like to try? Maybe a hospitellar? Or a guard officer?

Who wants a buritau ?

...
>continues searching
>Pawn not only finds some oil but also a canister of plasma

forgot name tag

I need some rest...
Someone wake me after about one Terran hour

Only at the beginning, I didn't like how srs bsnss it was getting. Didn't even know they had a discord. Are they still using it or what?

Only if it has been properly, sanitized, and cooked fully, trooper.

Also, where the hell is your name tag!?

or doesn't exist anymore sadly. So this is its spiritual successor. I used to play as Malak Of on it. You should come join us In discord!

I will keep doing this every time I get killed immediately with no saving throws. You cant even blame me

My name tag is here shas'nel
And yes it is totally edible and quite flavorous

>scouring the storage for an unspent plasma canister, Rho is bumped by a scurrying abomination screeching triumphantly holding aloft a keg of munitorum brand cooking oil (also suitable for fuelling vehicles, flamers and general purpose lubricant) as he.. she.. it heads back to the main area and kitchens
...This is my life now, isn't it?

Somehow, I think we could guess.

>looks at Rho
SCREEECH
>Gives a plasma container
>Walks to the kitchen

>Awaking, I'd go to the hardworking Techpriest Rho
I thank you for your hard work. I have amassed this for you. I found it a bit more than a week ago
>I'd present the Techpriest with an STC

0w0 what's going on in this thread? Are we playing house?

[a] fucking phone autocorrect!
I used to ay as Malak Ordenius back before PR was disbanded.

BINARY SCREECH
>scurries back to work station holding plasma canister aloft triumphantly
>internally blames everyone else that the oils me plasma were stored next to each other
>in surprisingly identical containers
>actually that might explain the recent rations and malfunctioning plasma weapons

>Rias sinks in, her armor scorched and uniform smoldering
Hey... where's the mess... I need a drink...

>Pawn stands in a mess hall heating leftover soup and reading "How to cook tyranids for dummies"

>Noticing the damage to Rias armour and clothing. Matthias would run over to her.

Are you alright, Darling!? What in the hell happened to you?

Don't worry Fio'ui originality is better than monotony
To your right and then to your left

Hey Pawn. Where's that Commissars Amasec I was planning on stealing? I couldn't find it in his locker. Do you know? >she takes a bottle from behind the fridge
I'll just use the stuff I stole last week. What's new?

honestly. The majority of them are still around, but don't say too much. I figure we could use it, rather than make a new one.

Rolled 73 (1d100)

With the supplies present, more or less, Rho starts assembling a plasma pistol, quietly humming a mantra of construction as various machines are operated and the dangerous substance is decanted into the weapon.
>rolling for weapon quality, it should be functional regardless due to tools and time being in abundance
>also it's only a bloody plasma pistol, it's hardly esoteric or unknown technology for a techpriest

Curiously, incessant originality has it's own monotony.

My Magos always taught me not to accept gifts from strangers
And also that rocket feet implants are a bad idea. Mostly. But that's not really relevant.
No but really that's... a little much. If I was playing a Salamander would you have tossed the Unbound Flame at me?

>the red clad figure gets out of the tech priest quarters of the trentches and wanders to the frnt, his feet clanking from the heavy feet

+greeting organics, where are the magi?+

>the machine cant being translated as it is spat from his vocaliser

SCREE SCREE SCREECH
>Points at dead genestealers
SCREEECH
>Points at dead patriarch
SCREECH
>Points at a sigh that says: "Lunch-genestealer soup." "Dinner Genestealer steak"

Oh well, I thank you anyhow

*and yet again I take the blame for someone else's crimes*
*fuckin racists*

*rawr*

>looking at the strange creature, I spit some more static before it twistis into understandable words

+you are not like your other squad mates why do you call them rasist?, and where are your techpriests or magi?+

Thanks bud. I'll remember it.
>she cracks the bottle and takes a swig
That's better...

>she puts her boot to his chest, gently pushing him back from her
One. Calm down. Two. Why do you look so worried?

Hmmm... I found they were best boiled then Crack the shell and flash fry the meat. Here's a good cook book.
>she tosses him a book titled "Gary's guide to Catachan Cooking: Xeno Volume 1
>she looks up at him
I have no idea why...

Rolled 24 (1d100)

*they died and promoted me to fabricator general*
*roll for persuasion*

>it takes much time in-universe, but fuck waiting let's timeskip, each component having sacred oils applied and inserted into the greater whole of the weapon as it is constructed with precision and care
>the machine spirit coaxed into life and eager readiness by the young techpriest, finally applying a small sigil of his homework manufactorum as a finishing touch
>it's not about the be declared an artifact, but it remains a well crafted example of the pattern with a particularly loyal and willing machine spirit residing inside the machinery
Hmm.. quite satisfactory, yes indeed.. now where did the requester get off to..?

>a mechadendrite waves at the other priest as Rho examines the weapon for faults

Hamounds said the first two lines utterly normally, then realised he'd stopped rawring and added it at the end.
You cannot persuade me that this is not canon

>Looks at the Gary's guide
>Eats previous cooking book
SCREEECH
>Gives candy bar as thanks

>the beings hood lifts slightly and a green blaze burns into the being

+you are lying, the fabricator genral is upon mars. and even then they do not have the authority here. and if you do then what is this in low gothic?+
011101110110000101110010

ah an actual tech preist
>the being moves over to the preist with its heavy gaint

+who are you?+
>the machine cant faster now that it need not be translated

>He would roll his eyes.

The same reason anyone would worry about their lover... Why else? I mean- look at you!

(Ok, for those of you who wanted us to have our own discord server. I got off my butt and actually did it! discord.gg/Csg8A

I can't stop laughing, I'm just imagining Hamounds actually doing that and it's fucking brilliant

*war rawr?*

Thank you.
>she takes another swig

The only words I'm hearing is "my" "shoot" and "face". Now calm down.
>she passes him the bottle

>cleaning up the inevitable clutter at this claimed workstation, Rho responds in kind; vox implant taking over in lieu of his imprecise and slow mouth
+This one is junior magi designate: Rho+
+Recently attached to regiment designate: Luckless+
+Requesting identification in kind+

>looks at both
>Places two bowls of soup
SCREEECH
>Goes to the kitchen

+hmph you are incorrect
it is conflict. fool you are not the fabricator genral now be silent+

>he returns his attention to the tech priest.

+this one is senior magos Szarek+
+recently dispatched to designation: unkown+
+adept with sonic frequencys [music] and battlefield tech+
+identification given+

>she pops her head in
+What's going on in here?+

+Another Magos. Pleasure to meet you+

>Matthias would let out a sigh.
You might as well stop trying to hide it Rias... Most of them already know...

+this one requests identification+

>he turns to reguard this new being

+why are you two organics fratanising, where is the commander of this regiment? or platoon for that matter+

Rolled 48 (1d100)

*me rawr*
*these are my servants rawr*

>pausing over a spare decorative skull front he recent construction, Rho tosses it into a compartmentalised drawer full of skulls (winged and unwinged) in the workbench
+This one's specialisation is unknown, records lost on homeworld exterminatus+
+local memory suggests likely assigned specialisation [rune-priest/awakener of machine spirits]+
+likely enginseer quality however, doubt this one has proficiency levels for legion: cybernetica induction+

+Greetings to the honourable Magos, we are engaging in exchange of identification data+
+Would unit designate: Magos care to join us?+