Itt: worst table top experience

itt: worst table top experience

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I joined a campaign.

d&d

no bad experiences with friends :^)

New GM ran an adventure time themed one shot, railroaded heavily and when we politely brought it up with him afterwards he took it as a personal attack.

GM raped me to prove a point to his other players.

When I realized that my players just wanted to muderhobo, and only murderhobo.

Why?

Seriously, what did they think was to be gained?

Are they retarded?

I have so many questions.

When I ran a Call of Cthulhu adventure and forgot to put cthulhu stuff in it

>started VtM
>narrator's gf join
>she was kinda a prototype of the nerd girl trend
>reads through the clans superficially
>makes a tremere
>names him Gandalf
>the table cringes
>narrator asks her why the name
>"dunno, they're kinda wizards right?"
>three sessions of shit like that without the narrator wanting to punish her mistakes "because she's just learning"
>everyone drops

When you have amazing campaign going but it goes on 2 month hiatus becauae scheduling issues

you or your character? Thats important distinction

>started VtM

You fucked up kiddo, now reap the whirlwind

Me, not my character. One of the other players kept arguing with the GM over rules, and finally the GM broke down and started yelling that he was the GM, he was in charge and he could do whatever he wanted. "I could even rape user!" he yelled. One of the other players told him he certainly could not, so he grabbed me and started raping me right there on the table while he fought the other players off with a bottle of cheap whiskey. He was very rough, and kept shouting "rule zero you fucking slut" the entire time.

No one argues with him about rules any more at least, so we get more done in each session which is nice.

God forbid people play stuff you don't like.

xD

Great story. Could have used a vampire, though.

This.

Except they also wanted NPCs to metaphorically suck their dick.

It wasn't about Catan, so no vampires.

Naw, he's got a point.
I played VtM once.
Now I attend Mind's Eye Theater and my gf gained 300 pounds. I own leather pants for god's sake.
Just stick to Bloodlines kids.

leather pants

Did she at least play a "sneaky tremere"?

First game I ever played in.

GM raped my character with his Mary Sue half-elf dual-wielding DMPC. (everybody but me thought this was hilarious)
Then killed my character without any rolls via goblin club to the back of the head while on watch for the night then being tossed into a pit (naked) and killed (again without any rolls) via a single swipe of a giant weasel claws to the throat. (again, everybody else thought this was hilarious)
Character was a 15th level ranger (I had joined a pre-existing game, obviously).

I mean, if they didn't want a twelve year old joining their game at the university, they genuinely could have just told me no. I didn't just show up and demand to play, I answered the ad for new players and worked out my player/got briefed on the campaign setting with the DM a week in advance and everything. I was polite, respectful, friendly, and quiet and brought snacks for everybody, too.

On the other hand, I guess it was an effective lesson on what to expect in the future within this hobby of ours, so horror stories I've heard in the decades since never really shocked me much.

So you were 12, and your GM felt it was proper to rape your character, and kill it twice?

The fuck is that shit?

I didn't kill the jester

Oh no, he only knocked my PC out via one goblin-club-hit (while wearing a helmet), then dragged them back to the goblin camp. Said PC didn't actually die until the giant weasel claws swipe.

So it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

Still seems pretty fuckin' bad from my perspective.

Haha, well, yeah, it was pretty bad. Could've been worse, obviously, but I might not have stubbornly stuck with the hobby if so.

I mean, pulp noir is pretty cool

always kill jester

Went to a DnD night at a local comic store, character falls unconcious in a hole.
The owner who was playing, jokes about fucking my characters mouth.
A drunk lady then comes in and heckles everyone and all of them sperg out and do nothing about it.
I was only 14 and I never went back.

>decide to join a 5e game my college roommate is hosting
>other players are both his friends
>a bit weird being the odd one out but w/e, I can deal
>character creation rolls around
>decide light domain cleric, dragonborn because hey the breath weapon is cool
>can't remember the other guy
>That Guy rolls a transgender elf barbarian and takes a panflute as a starting item
>never shuts up about the fact that they're trans
>ever
>never ever
>basically beats the entire party over the head with this joke whenever possible
>takes every opportunity to play 'the song of her people' on his phone
>it's just Darude - Sandstorm played on a shitty recorder
>this doesn't stop for three sessions
>I am the only one who even tries to role play

I hated that guy so much.

One of best friends and our gm bought this game and wanted us to surprise with a new pnp.

6 hours later, I came up with numerous ways to kill myself with different objects in his house. The combat system just drags on and doesn't even tries to make sense. Everything else about this game can be summarized with the words, boring and generic.

>Guy at local FLGS starts asking around for people to join a RIFTS campaign
>me and my friends join in cause hey why not seems fun
>spend time researching the setting and making a character and become really invested in the idea
>show up to first session to find that there are around 10 people in the group
>ohgodwhy
>this makes everything excruciatingly slow but it seems fine at first as everyone is content to have character interaction with eachother and enjoy just doing that as we wait for things to advance
>game starts with us in a prison that undergoes a prison break by demigods
>after we get free we are told a truck carrying some of our shit is driving into Mexico aka Vampire Country
>group agrees to accept our losses and fuck dealing with vampires, GM then proceeds to take more and more stuff and throw it on the truck to get us to go after it and eventually tells us we will straight up get killed if we DONT follow the damn truck
>Thats when it hit us, there are rails that are made of adamantium. And so we follow the truck
>long story short this leads us to the inside of a CS base where we are told something from the truck is missing, a casket, and encounter a comically evil (you know slaughtering underlings pointlessly, the whole 9 yards) god-like being who tells us to go get the thing or he will brutally murder us
>get sent back into Mexico where we are forced by plot to go into a vampire base and sit back and do nothing as two random demigod beings show up and open the casket, in it is Cain the first murderer who is apparently king of all the vampires in Mexico and sit back as the GM talks to himself between all this super-powered beings that could kill us all with a glance
>forcefully inducted into the vampire war against the CS
>At this point I would like to mention we have encountered no less than 6 god like beings while all of us are still starting level and equipment
cont. in reply, didnt think I would rant this long on it

go on...

>Then the group realizes that we are actually completely irrelevant in everything that is going on, this story is not about the PCs we are just bystanders in witnessing a story by the GM about his demigod OCs.
>this becomes further cemented in as we continue on and every. single. combat encounter. we face is a losing battle we have to be saved by a NEW demigod OC of his as we keep getting teleported around the North American continent
>at this point entire group is losing interest and we start having people drop out. Others focus on making new characters trying to use stuff in some of the splat books to try and make someone who can do something in this story
>one of my friends gets closest in making a min maxed demonologist who summoned and bound something incredibly powerful and terrifying to his will
>seriously this thing could slaughter the entire group if he told it do but I forget what its name was. Point is we were getting somewhere
>very first combat encounter another godlike being appears and teleports it away to the moon
>last straw for him and me as we dont show up to next session
>later we ask the rest of the group what ended up happening after we left
>apparently Jesus Christ himself appeared and that is when everyone who was still left dropped out

I am sure this is not as bad as some peoples experiences but holy shit was it one of the most excruciating things I have had to sit through. Think the part of it that stings so much for me is that I got really invested in the character idea I had before going into it and then just having to sit around through several sessions watching god like beings do everything and be completely irrelevant no matter what we tried was infuriating

that doesn't even make sense why the DM would do that. did you play any games with the other members that dropped out?
>demonologist seemed pretty cool

>Play a game of PF with a friend from college
>Figure Ill make a bog standard paladin
>Show up to the first session, find out we're doing an investigation of some kind
>Figure it'll be great, as Im high enough level to have detect evil and zone of truth.
>Suddenly everybody is immune to both of those things.
>Go to a village, turns out there's a tiefling I later find out is a DMPC reoccurring character who beat us there, and he's already working on the investigation for the magistrate.
>"Ok, just stay out of trouble"
>Imwatchingyouscum.jpg
>He laughs me off, saying that my quest for good is impotent and that good and evil are antiquated terms.
>"say that again, and Ill introduce you to some equally antiquated sword techniques"
>We come back from some shenanigans to find that the town is burning down, and that same DMPC is on top of the town hall playing a fiddle or some shit, and smugly implies that it was he who burned the town down.
>Time to leave them all behind, activate smite and swig my last health potion.
>Get to the roof, he jumps off and disappears.
>Jump off after him, take about 20 damage and recover with Hero's Defiance.
>DM says the tiefling has gone invisible.
>Detect evil.
>DM responds by describing one of the DMPC's cohorts, a gaunt little girl in a black dress with an oversized scythe, who comes out of nowhere and crits me.
>It just so happens that her scythe steals my spells, so no more Hero's Defiance. I get knocked out.

contd.

Here's your binary choice Mr Paladin, pick one! You'll fall either way, And don't think about taking a 3rd option, I'll torpedo it!

>wake up, vow to get that fucker.
>We move on to some wizard tower or some shit, fight some big bad monstar. No clue what's going on.
>Tiefling shows up in the final boss chamber, dual wielding magical scimitars.
>The monster we've spent about 20 rounds fighting all over this tower is felled instantly, as the Tiefling's swords "glow with, you know, the darkest light".
>K
>After we clean up a bit, he *poofs* in on top of a statue.
>I question him a bit, since apparently he cant or wont be killed, and he just remains mysterious.
>Ask some fairly pointed questions about who he is and what he's doing.
>DM spins some cringeworthy prose about being a wanderer between dark and light.
>Fine. Zone of Truth.
>*Poof*, he's gone.
>Later another player got into a spat with the Tiefling who turned into a blue dragon and turned everybody's blood to sand for a one-round TPK.
>Apparently "we were warned".

Yeah I did and still do. Me and the friends I was closer to started our own RP using a different system and we kind of alternate who GMs from time to time. And yeah that friend manages to make the most memorable characters every time he sits down to play

As to why the DM did it I assume it was just because our demon friend did not fit into his railroad

Played a small game of 6th edition fantasy against a redshirt. I was a little kid and brought my High Elves for a second game against him, last time I defeated his Empire force. This time he brought High Elves too, including 15 Phoenix Guard that proceeded to kill my entire army by themselves.

its like your DM was every bad pathfinder trope in one guy

I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that the best way to make a villain players really hate is just to make a shitty DMPC

But Jingle is our friend! She's here to help us!

This.
You have to be a special sort of broken inside to mess with kids like that.

goddamn man initially I wanted to ask why you didn't leave sooner.

It's like a trainwreck you can't stop watching I guess.

Thats not even remotely true.

>>Suddenly everybody is immune to both of those things.

>foreverDM
>players insist on sending me their retarded backstories for a campaign that starts at level 1

I have made, and continue to make, the mistake of wanting to try pathfinder.

>invited by an old tabletop pal to a roll20 PF game
>everyone but me is strictly text only
>ok that's cool roleplay heavy, not everyone is comfortable with doing it vocally
>rolled up gestalt/higher level/female only pc game
>first fucking time rolling up for pf
>no offers of help and no one answers when i ask for it
>get it done after too many fucking hours it's flawless
>backstory and image for flavor
>dropped into the party hideout naked
>roll with it, proceed to be told a few minor plot points by the dm I don't understand, as a new character
>3-4 hours later
>we've done nothing but in character hang out at the base and chat ooc
>dm gives just above zero direction, we're told what story stuff is happening and none of it involves us doing anything but sitting and occupying ourselves
>can count the number of times they did any gaming that session on my fingers
>assume it was an off night, talk to friend after the fact
>yeeeeeeeeeah... no he's kindof always this slow, player or dm
>Idontbelieveyou.avi
>ask another player in private, they confirm and shrug it off as 'it can't be helped'
>ask ANOTHER:same answer
>drop
----------
>One (of many) people credited in the guide to organized play for PF runs a game via local tabletop group
>down to try
>tell him a few days in advance I can't make it something comes up
>barred from group for not just his game: all games
>At the time it was the only local tabletop store/group
>A chill friend in group tells me I was "the flea on the straw that broke the camel's back" he just wanted to make an example of someone for something.
------------
>most other pathfinder groups online and otherwise I learn are circlejerk games to some degree or another

Go on...

There are a lot of systems which have characters be at least somewhat noteworthy even at the start of the game to justify why even at lvl1 they're so much better at everything than a normal commoner.

Sometimes you think that it's going to be better. Sometimes you stay to bring back horror storys or join games for exactly that reason.

youtube.com/watch?v=Sso4vjERgdA

I sat there and watched this for far too long....

id forget everything that happens in a two hyaitus

its not even the 10 hour version

>rolls a 1d20 to tackle an orc with my beefy as shit dwarf barbarian
>Mo'fucking 19
>gm says "you hit him face first and he picks you up and throws you away"
>turns out that that orc would have a part in taking us to the GM's magical realm

>turns out that that orc would have a part in taking us to the GM's magical realm
This ends how I think it's going to end, right?

God i hope it ends with a handholding circle *sweats profusely*

Can confirm, have been the jester

>3.5
>push full-plate knight into pond in 3.5
>almost convince party to wander back into the desert with no food or water, internally concerned that they are listening to jester's advice
>running around in a town full of ghosts with white sheet over head, "haunting" them, making them angry at party

Would play again, desu

I wish I was kidding on this one, but our dm introduced us to a quest giver known to us as "giant Alan Rickman head" and we had to suffer through 4 hours of bad impressions.

I was on board for the Giant Alan Rickman head not so much for the bad impressions

As another player in that fiasco, it was all terrible. Hilarious, but terrible.

He will always have his revenge from the grave.

I remember trying to run a Paranoia one-shot for the Pathfinder group I used to hang with. It was just a module to keep things simple, and I'd already had a blast with it with another group of players.

These guys though? Didn't get it at all. Even after I explained the premise of the setting and set everything up, they would do thinga in the most boring way.

Like, they get into a conflict with a yellow clearance security guard who's giving them a hard time, and instead of trying g to work around him, they just grind things to a halt and try to call in a higher ranking supervisor to try and get this guy in trouble.

It was just agonizing to see them try and treat the game as though it were some logical world where they'd get a fair say and wouldn't be purged for not going through with their mission in spite of the hassle. It was like pulling teeth to try and get them to do anything.

>>One (of many) people credited in the guide to organized play for PF runs a game via local tabletop group
>>down to try
>>tell him a few days in advance I can't make it something comes up
>>barred from group for not just his game: all games
>>At the time it was the only local tabletop store/group
>>A chill friend in group tells me I was "the flea on the straw that broke the camel's back" he just wanted to make an example of someone for something.

Name and shame, user.

Name thing one players hate more than a shitty DMPC.

Arbitrarily having all their shit stolen without any save or check.

Losing a fight by fiat, like "you're walking through town with your girlfriend when five thugs walk up and slap her on the ass. You protest but they kick your ass. Your gf is so impressed that she goes off with them to their dive hangout."

I feel like that second one has happened to you? It's a bit specific.

The most realistic That DM story I've ever seen

...

Try a 6+ month hiatus because two people in the group don't have a tight schedule and DM wants to have everyone there. It's fucking cancerous.

>Want to play DND
>Moved to the city, have no friends there
>Go to a cafe
>Guy sitting next to me is a total bro, DM is good, and the people across from me are cool.
>And then That Guy sits down.
>Think of the most lolxdrandom person you know and multiply that by like six
>Character named Fang
>Isn't even an edgelord, just cracks jokes and references that make no one at the table laugh.
>Constantly interrupts the DM.

I think the moment I realized I would remember this asshole was when the DM asked him what his character would do and he said "Well he'd probably pull out a blunt and get blazed."

You better believe he laughed at his own joke after that one. He was the only one laughing.

If that were true, why would you even still interact with the guy?

Are you literally retarded

This isn't the "the sound of zombies attracts more zombies" game, is it?

>bringing that up again attracts more zombies

One time, we were gonna play a session, but then it got canceled

how long till you get infinite zombies?

You could have a shitty DMPC do both of those things.

I was only there for three games, including the session 0. I was hoping he'd eventually cut that shit out but the campaign just kind of ended because we accidentally burned down the mansion we were supposed to be investigating and the DM didn't have anything else lined up.

A game that's been going on for three years, mostly due to multiple month, two month long hiatuses and random scheduling problems (the group being in all parts of the world does not help)
But we're all too stubborn to just quit.

>>Guy at local FLGS starts asking around for people to join a RIFTS...

I stopped reading there.
Friends don't let friends play rifts.

Had no idea about the system when going into it but never even had to experience it during the several sessions of it anyway

Believe me.

Having to actually play a RIFTS game is worse than watching your GM play with himself.

...

That sounds both incredibly difficult and insanely frustrating, like any good horror game.

Joined a no-life dude d&d 5e game. He said he runs like 4 games at once, so I thought he might at least be capable of something.

Join an existing party, starting at 6th level. For some reason, get only 1st level strating gear and cash despite party having magic items out the wazoo, including weapons that randomly become +5. Turns out, he never preps anything, everything is horrible improv. Worse, all the plot points the players become interested in are "too much for you", despite being consorted with by gods and demons constantly. He never leaves any space for roleplaying, so the characters barely talk. Every time the PCs planned out how to do something, he brings in his demigods to ruin it or to do it for them.

Bailed after the 4th session.

hello
>friend is organizing a pathfinder game and invites me to play
>i have trouble making characters and mention this and have him try to help me out
>i was thinking along the lines of a snakeman bard or something and then he goes "hey dude you can be a dragon lmao"
>i look at the race and find out that they're basically dragons but about the size of small dogs, and think it would be hilarious to be a dragon bard
>read more into the race and find out they have their own racial class that lets them turn into a full grown fucking colossal sized dragon at level 20
>talk with DM and he's cool with it
>they're still the size of a tiny dog at level 1 so i'm thinking that it might work out
>turns out that he's ballbustingly op and i unintenionally minmaxed
>campaign falls apart soon after
>this had been the first time i'd played ANY tabletop besides FATE
>now refuse to play any other tabletop until I can use this meme ass dragon character i made

I'm terrible

>You try to make a reasonably grounded character
>Everyone just makes stupid shit that revolves around irl pop culture memes
>Everyone but you thinks thinks session after session of 420 Blaze It tier humor is hilarious and engaging

Its a very weird feel when you realize youre out of touch with people your own age

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Funny

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Funny

>tried doing something, it sucked
>did it 3 more times, just to make sure
Was he the only DM in a 100-mile radius?

>"glow with, you know, the darkest light".
kek

This, except they kept talking about roleplaying, and kicked me out because I min-maxed my char.

I was the only one that ever played unoptimized chars, and (role-)played down my strengths when I powerplayed (because I wanted to be able to do something powerful, but not keep bothering the DM with it, or stealing the show all the time), and tried to roleplay beyond "I'm a rogue, therefore I go first".

Yeah, that makes me That Guy, and that's ok, kick me out for it. But don't fucking bullshit me about roleplay when your whole adventure is just versions of a gestapo-interrogation-like communication and slaughtering everything for shits and giggles with your CharOp copypasta characters.

>firend of a friend wasn't exactly the brightest bulb
>nobody else wanted to play with him, but I kept bringing him along because I felt bad for him
>even though I didn't like him myself
>one time he wanted to DM
>we're ninjas from a temple high in the mountains
>sent to buy groceries in the village far below
>suddenly pirates
>pirates ambush us, demand we find them a ship
>a ship in the middle of mountains?
>suddenly, from behind a bush, a wild ocean appears
>we kill the pirates while parrots fire flintlock pistols at us
>there is a ship moored in the shallows
>two players swim to the ship, leaving equipment behind
>suddenly, 5 minotaurs charge at two other players who were left to guard the equipment
>get into a rowboat that wasn't there before, row for half an hour
>one player gets killed because half an hour of rowing got us 10ft from the shore
>other argues with DM until DM puts him 10ft away from the ship
>still 10ft from the shore, tho
>players on ship kill minotaurs with a broadside
>everyone gathers on the ship
>lots of barrels with a black powder in hold
>one player sticks his finger in the powder and licks it
>DM says he identified it as gunpowder, despite gunpowder not existing anywhere else in the world
>however, DM rolled him a nat 1 on some hidden bullshit role, which meant he "mishandled" the powder and whole ship blows up

Were they all playing level 4 soccer moms with a chihuahua animal companion?

my sides

If your tremere isn't a bastard, you are playing it wrong

That seems like the single most incoherent game I have read in the past month. Kudos to you for that: how did you even keep up with what was happening during all that shit?