How do you like your wizards Veeky Forums?

Lizards

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Depends: As fictional characters or player characters?

As fictional characters I prefer them very experienced, and very wise as a result. Always able to provide good advice to any situation that may arise, even if they don't have the magic to deus ex machina the situation (and frankly, the more they are able to do that, the less interesting they are).

As player characters they are often insufferable even if they don't mean to be. They will almost never turn out anything like the above, and they almost always adopt the attitude and approach literally every situation as if they always have the right spell for it. In some gaming systems, they actually do.

I prefer settings where magic is some mysterious shit really dangerous to learn like in ASOIAF.

So my preference goes to shady weirdos who travelled to strange places to learn their art or respectable public figures who practice magic in secret.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=w9OPlfGoNV4

>record scratch
>Yep, that's me there, you're probably wondering how and why an eternally wise and sensible elf isn't in the forest, and instead got into this situation
>Well it all goes back....

Unstoppable, nigh-omnipotent forces of nature with no sense of right and wrong.

Whenever my group has a session suddenly be postponed or we're otherwise in a lull between games, we like to run a quick and phenomenally stupid game we've dubbed Motherfucking Wizards for the lack of a better title. The premise is that everyone is playing as an extremely powerful wizard with a specialization in one specific type of magic (Ranging from mundane schools like fire magic or speed magic to weirder stuff like snake magic or math magic, plus one muscle wizard because of course) and the group has to solve a very specific problem while taking care to not accidentally make things worse as a consequence of their UNLIMITED COSMIC POWERS. It's just a generic one roll system, the wizards describe what they're trying to do and then roll to see if they succeed, usual stuff. If they're trying to do something that falls within their selected school of magic, they may add a bonus to their roll, as big as they like, but they also need to take care not to roll too high or their spells accidentally grow out of proportion and cause unintended side effects. The session ends when the problem established at the start of the session has been solved and there aren't any immediate (usually self-caused) threats to the wizards' lives. (Even if they do manage to die however they respawn between sessions because fuck you magic.)

We've had three sessions so far, in which the group tried to kill a dragon (ended with the dragon punched into particles and the village who wanted it dead destroyed four times over) disable a space station's tractor beam A New Hope-style (ended with the station slowly being torn apart by a recently created black hole) and helping a man move house (ended with the entire city being destroyed save the man and his new house). It's absolutely idiotic and none of us give a fuck.

Young and willing to experiment with this strange thing that is magic

Female.

That Wizard has entirely too much clothing on to actually be a female wizard.

like I like my coffee. I can't finish this joke

I like it when everyone is a wizard, but they just don't know it or forgot (and perhaps cast a spell on themselves to make themselves forget). Those who open pandora's box CAN'T UNSEE and are invariably driven mad unless their heart is made of heroic steel and their mind is sharp enough to solve whatever problem, paradox or realization keeps the sentient races trembling in their boots at the thought of remembering (a one in a billion chance). Reality seems to warp and conspire against mages both young and budding as well as old, too, as if it itself exists to protect them from the truth.

Capable of pulling off some serious bullshit in the right circumstances.

>pic
and nothing of the value was lost

Missed my home by like 3 miles.
Whew

This sounds like clean, healthy fun!

>t. city dweller

user, the SPAM Museum was lost. That's an international tragedy.

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Burning on a pyre for "practice of Warpcraft most foul" and other charges of heresy as unsanctioned psykers!

> "NOICE AN PLUMP WIFF LOTS OV MEAT ON 'IS BONES, HURR HURR HURR!"

What the hell is arcane greenness?

General purpose scholars and philosophers that attempt to decipher the metaphysical underpinnings of reality while communing with whatever "the absolute" there is. Occasionally casting spells.

i normally have my pc's who choose to play a spellcaster start off super duper weak. like, borderline carried, but still useful enough to want to be a spellcaster. Then when they see a REAL wizard, the party shits its collective long johns

Like this.

Alien? Dimensional traveller?

so basically zargothax

I like my wizards merry and traditional.

Shit, now this needs to be a thing. Someone needs to writefag this.

Limited in power and falliable. Characters and magic that can do anything are boring.

Intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humor.

Always ready with a fireball and a sarcastic joke in the face of eldritch horrors

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>respectable public figures who practice magic in secret
My fucking dick.

Greenness is an Essence(read: nature) spell in Anima Beyond Fantasy. Arcane is the highest level of it.
The only caveat to a wizard being able to cast it is it's high magic, which requires them either A) becoming a supernatural creature, B) finding and tapping into a "Node"(think leyline nexus), or C) taking the metamagic advantage that allows high magic, but doubles the cost of the spell.
Expanded area is another metamagic advantage, with two levels. first level bumps the area of all spells with AoEs by 50%, the second bumps it by 100%.
So 600km radius of whatever currently existing natural creatures you want.
Prime choices
>Honey Badger
>Kudzu
>Gympie Gympie
>Tarantula Hawk Wasps
>Box Jellyfish(If it's a sphere of effect, it's 6.5 billion liters of death)
>Geese

my bad, 1200km radius with maxed expanded area.
Nice.

Weirdos. Complete and total weirdos who have very few things in common with one another besides a desire to know more and Fuck the consequences. Occasionally band together to share info. Hard to get more than five in a room together without an argument. Annoyed at sorcerers those fucking jocks. And hateful of those debtors of magic, the warlocks.

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Virgins. Not because they're nerdy or busy but because the goddess of magic will cursed anyone who sleeps with them.She is a bit crazy.

Curse them with what?
And does that apply to... other acts? oglaf.wikia.com/wiki/Ivan_&_Navaan's_'Doesn't_Count'_Kama_Sutra

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You forgot
>gaia is smol
Everyone gets fire ants!
And the wizards say the church is evuuul

I like it when Wizards make sense, Wizards are interesting, and Wizards are fun. For this reason, the 'difficult, hard to learn, rare' magic shit Veeky Forums is in love with for whatever fucking reason needs to die.

Wizards should exist at all levels of society. Magic is not utterly common to be literally everyone is capable of using it, but magic creations and potions are common enough to be something people know about and have experience with. Young boys often pick up magic wands to test their magical talent; the ones who manage to actually accomplish an act of change or force are swept up into Wizard school. If they are a poor peasant, instead they are trained by a local master. Every village has at least one or two old wizards and witches around who attend to magical matters, craft love charms for horny teens, and generally be tolerated but given a lot of shit by the locals.

Young, poor charmcasters animate straw and toys to entertain children and the easily impressed, making a meager living on charity. Some Wizards are more permanent and well employed by nobles, some of them go up so far as to be Sorcerer Kings.

like this

hilariously absurdist. bends reality on whim purely for a sight gag and solves problems that don't exist.

Not everyone. Not even a tenth of the Old Continent.
>Wizards decry the church
It's all Yehudah's fault.
t. Magus Order member

This but with less shota.

>less

Preferably fighting in hand to hand combat and using spells to either augment allies or blast the everloving crap out of enemies. I'm sure something like this exists, but it's no wizard

Same. I always imagined having a White Mage type of character who loved to beat the holy hell out of enemies with their staff.

This has been my phone wallpaper for years.

It's another day at the Wizard's Council ,the same Council that tried to destroy the moon to make werewolf vivisection easier for those three pesky days a month*, there is a wizard that is musically cursed. After meddling in powers too demonically charged for him to comprehend he now essentially sings/Shatners all the time to communicate every thought, every utterance. He can't ask for someone to pass the salt without a rhythmic lilt involved.
He has an idea for a new experiment, a hybrid, a monstrous concoction that he had a vision of after chopping and pasting gnoll parts for too long. He goes to his colleague, currently doing tests on frog excretions by licking them to determine relative flavor/hallucinogenic properties, to see if he can find a collaborator.
He approaches the colleague's chambers and lightly raps on the door and clears his throat. In a quavering, slightly "touched" voice common to many of the long term Council members.
"Do you wanna build a goatmaaaaaaan?"
*The Druidic Order petitioned the arcanum to not destroy the moon. Not successfully, but it caused enough arguing that the issue has not yet been decided after being brought to discussion over 50 years ago. Several members still try on their own, only creating more craters. One, after sucking on the wrong frog, made a kind of face, but not everyone can see it at first and often it takes a bit of explaining from the "artist" himself.

Hey, those magic bees were useful! Once they calmed down and stopped melting the local farmers, at least.

>melting the local farmers
Let me guess, you decided to give them more choleric humor to speed up their production? Or are you the sort of fool who decides that bees would be more interesting if they were also on fire? The latter isn't strictly wrong, but any wizard worth his salt would have set up a ward first.

These tend to show up in "everyone's a wizard" games, like House Flambeau in Ars Magica or the Adamantine Arrow in nMage.

Nah, the NPC who made them just wanted some bees that could could fuel destruction magic. There were side effects. I actually based them on this:

objectdreams.tumblr.com/post/159834937359/beekeeping-manual-written-using-a-predictive-text

this

Subtle and quick to anger.

eccentric and possibly gay

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Fertilize the soil with bacon you worthless muckrakers.

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That's literally a Cleric.

>We're starving!
>But we won't eat meat lol
Vegetarians are the worst types of people.

I like them wearing pointy hats with wide brims and indigo robes covered with moons and stars.

You can get by as a vegetarian.
Not well, and there's never a good reason to, but you can do it.

It's vegans who are consistently malnourished.

Armored.

I always forget about the Dresden comic
and the tv show
that show should come back, but stick more to the books

>Hey guys check it out, theres an ogre 3.4km northwest. Lets see if I can hit him

That's no wizard...that's a tree.

Crispy, with a side of ketchup and fries

I love Mage Eater draggos

>trees can't be wizards

coinsandscrolls.blogspot.com/2017/05/osr-plants-forests-gardens-and-dryads.html

>Not well, and there's never a good reason to
You need to know where to get your protein and some microelements, but if you do that statement is just bullshit. Meat is tasty and that's about it. You don't need it, even if you're a gym monkey.

That being said, people who put their kids on vegan diets should be executed on national television.

Bearded dragon wizard?

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Magic knight-flavored.

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Preferrably a Wizard should only have low to moderate ability for offensive magic like fireballs and lightning bolts but have access to some seriously high-tier reality warp, like dimensional travel, black holes, time stop.

They should also not be PC's and actively avoid using such magic because of the consequences.

Old, bearded, badass and flat out better than everyone else.

Unknown Armies style autistic obsessed "truth" seekers.

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yes

Uncle Grandpa is seriously underappreciated

medium rare

One side pissants, best mage comin' thru!

This but with a loli under the mask and robes

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Gizzard_&_the_Lizard_Wizard

Same char a few years later.

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Elfy