You find a small enchanted statue. It depicts a very ill woman

>You find a small enchanted statue. It depicts a very ill woman.

Avoid touching the statue, begin research into what the statue could possibly be

>the statue is linked to the owners health
>whenever the owner gets ill, the statue absorves the illness and the statue looks even worse
>eventually the statue will look like a veiled skeleton and the owner will die 3 days later
>if the owner dies, the statue revert to looking like a young healthy woman
>if the owner is able to sacrifice another healthy person, the statue also goes back to being young and the owner gets to live

>It is literally just a statue
I feel like this is a dangerous path where you assume everything is a cursed object.

Get one of our hirelings to touch it and see what happens.

Paranoid characters are fun to role play though

Spend my months studying it, eventually deconstructing it and using its magic for my benefit.

put it in my ass

Things that are visually revolting are usually indicating a warning or danger sign as to not ever touch them.

It probably would be mundane and not worth anything at best. Harboring a terrible curse and/or protecting an evil or deranged creature at worst.

I'd probably throw something at it and see what happened.

>Upon further inspection, you realize the woman is not only incredibly ill, she is also quite fly.

>Enchanted
I'm not touching a magic statue

I roll perception to determine whether you meant ill "awesome" or ill "not well".

I attempt to pull a Pygmalion

That's insight bitch not perception

>failed your wisdom save

I really want to play an actual tabletop some day. Until then you're all I have.

Get on roll20 nerd.

I leave it alone and walk away, I guess?
I'm not a fucking grave robber, I have an ACTUAL job to do with ACTUAL responsibilities, not just random spelunking expeditions in random monster-filled holes for fun.

snap it in half and urinate on the halves

Take the statue to the Cathedral of the Goddess of healing and have it purified/enshrined, as sickness and death is part of life and counterpart to health.

turn it over and look for a makers mark!
Date it, place it! So dam interesting!

>NOPE the fuck outta there
>seal the fucking room
>never speak of it again

>unzip pants
>start masturbating
>hope /x/ taught me the right thing

>Idol of the ailing Harlot
>A small statue depicting a sick woman. One must first offer a drop of their own blood to the statue to become its owner. If the owner makes physical contact with another person, it may begin to heat up. This indicates the other person has a disease of the blood, a warning to its owner not to engage in further intimacies. If the owner does gain a disease like this, or if their blood offering was already tainted, the statue will crumble.

>in the same room, you find the lich's notebook
>starting when he was still human, the notes detail his increasingly desperate attempts to save his dying wife

Hotglue

destroy it

Characters with bad reading comprehension dies first.

>roll20

>all dusty
>boots are smeared with rat and goblin poop
>eating fucking elven crackers with smelly sausage to not starve
>wastes 2 hours discussing with a retarded bard every time a fork comes on the road
>"I-I'm responsible and well adjusted, I really am!"

If your players act with ridiculous paranoia to everything, that's a sign the GM needs to curtail some of his bullshit.

>Praise Papa Nurgle

It can be mass produced?Everyone in the kingdom will want one of of these.

It seems much more rational to take a paid position hunting monsters or working as a gainfully employed mercenary.
These things lead to reliable wealth and potentially social respect rather then dying in some three thousand year old hole filled with monsters that only have an ecosystem because asshats like them go down there anyway.