SS13 Thread chaps?

SS13 Thread chaps?

>open Veeky Forums
>search ss13
>50 seconds ago


NICE

I have nothing to contribute but good going champ

So, where do you spehssmen play these days? Any servers that aren't shit?

For what purpose

I play nowhere these days, none of the servers interest me or have already died.

Storytime, really. Nothing like epic tales of SPESS MADNHESS involving clowns, Sec, and the tide.

Meh, i only play on TG station. I'm pretty sure its Bagil server, and im sec, barman, or HoP most of the time so i deal with a fair amount of Bullshit. Still, its alright.

>do engineer stuff
>give glubs to assistant
>nothing to do
>neat, we have a hop
>ask for all access expecting no or a pile of forms
>get all access no questions asked
>go into the bridge
>declare code red, myself captain and martial law
>make assistant an enforcer
>hop just accepts that I'm captain, gives Tim the rank
>ask MD for chloral and poly acid for interrogation
>barge into science
>two scientists doing xeno with bio suits on
>tell them one has to do rnd or else they're breaking the law
>one says Yes sir!, the other shuffles quietly into a corner
>ask for confirmation
>tells me to leave him alone
>bring him in for questioning
>delegate to assistant while i get the chems
>come back
>ask for the plan
>dropper poly acid in eyes once
>assistant finds IED in suspect's bag
>HoP questions if we're really doing the right thing
>ask him if he wants to question martial law
>he denies it
>release the suspect
>see an assistant child trespassing in research
>bring her in for questioning
>other scientist didn't do science while we were interrogating
>tell assistant to bring them in
>ask the assistant why they have combat armor and two laser rifles
>stuff everything in contraband and release them after 1 minute cell time
>bald, due to poly acid to the eyes
>assistant comes back with scientist two
>question her about their hooded coworker
>ask her who she works for
>says she's loyal to Nanotrasen, our employer
>ask why she didn't do the science like i ordered
>release them after some poly acid
>assistant found IED in bag we forgot to return
>declare them a fugitive and harboring a fugitive is PROHIBITED
>look everywhere
>meanwhile bring in engineer who shocked the doors on medical
>MD finds the interrogation tactics erotic

1/2

>meanwhile a corgi kills Ian
>hop has lost all reason to live
>arrest the dog
>cant cuff it so have to do a weird dance with stunbatons for 10 minutes
>all while ordering everyone to arrivals for the first public execution
>dog ends up slipping assistant and biting the hop before slipping in oil in the game room
>assistant and hop beat it to death
>engineer tried to escape, IED in the bag
>public beating in arrivals
>bring them to medbay once examine says severe bruising
>tell MD to patch her up
>still looking for scientist #2
>find MD in surgery
>doing surgery on the engineer
>ask some questions
>engineer replies in all caps
>begs for life and freedom
>ok i believe you, MD patch em up and get them out of here
>hop's PDA is ringing alot
>ask assistant about the hop
>hop told assistant to let scientist #2 off the hook, they're brothers
>tell hop to come to his office, assistant needs more access
>arrest them
>take PDA
>location of scientist #2 in right in the last message
>PROHIBITED
>call the shuttle, we found the tatortots
>poly acid their eyes
>hop's brother is gasping
>very low blood somehow
>start taking hops blood and injecting it into the other suspect while MD gets hemostim
>doing alright
>suddenly dies
>bring the suspects to arrivals
>engineer with spear gun and shield
>use suspects as a shield
>hop get hit with a spear
>try to do first aid
>shuttle arrives
>engineer comes back, hits me with speargun
>grab stunbaton, get pushed
>MD joins the fight at shuttle sleepers
>MD disarms engineer
>stun over, grab it and stun, inject with sleep toxin
>engineer beaten to death while i drag her to the brig
>hop died dispite the inaprovaline injection from the sleeper
>drag all the (now dead) suspects to the shuttle brig
>27 seconds on the clock

2/3

>quickly go outside for the hop's brother
>get him inside
>shuttle departs
>we did it boys, we got all the tators
>Tim Isaman the assistant gets full green text
>he was the one planting IEDs on all the suspects
>combine forces with MD and an assistant to bring him down
>rush for the heal rod while Tim tries to get his hands on guns
>heal us all
>he has shitty rad guns
>manage to stun baton him before collapsing from radiation
>MD kills him, we cheer

>d20 is kill

>screwball gets the 32 dream before either me or Viktor
>he did it by accident
just fuck my shit up ~pyon.

So essentially, you did engi shit, became cap, fought with traitorous scientists, had a assistant henchman, got on shuttle, found out that ASSISTANT WAS TEH DAEMONS ALL ALONG, then killed him?

hi kat

I suppose i might as well tell the story of my first time on the station. It's nothing special, just a perfect showcase of the fuckery of ss13.

>Be assistant, first time in SS13.
>Fuck yea, gonna do Centcomm proud.
>Walk into bar, light up smoke.
>Ask for space beer, talk with bartender.
>Chef comes over, bastard lights me on fire.
>Bartender fights him off, i roll out the fire.
>Call sec, nothing happens.
>Go to Medbay, get treated, later find out that the Bartender was a Head Rev all along.

This needs to be updated by changing the other characters. Like the redhead should be Wednesday Tuesday, Lee should be the guy in the back and Kathryn should be the blue hair chick.

I suppose i might as well tell the story of my first time on the station. It's nothing special, just a perfect showcase of the fuckery of ss13.

>Be assistant, first time in SS13.
>Fuck yea, gonna do Centcomm proud.
>Walk into bar, light up smoke.
>Ask for space beer, talk with bartender.
>Chef comes over, bastard lights me on fire.
>Bartender fights him off, i roll out the fire.
>Call sec, nothing happens.
>Go to Medbay, get treated, later find out that the Bartender was a Head Rev all along.

d20 will return.

What happened to murph anyway?

I suppose i might as well tell the story of my first time on the station. It's nothing special, just a perfect showcase of the fuckery of ss13.

>Be assistant, first time in SS13.
>Fuck yea, gonna do Centcomm proud.
>Walk into bar, light up smoke.
>Ask for space beer, talk with bartender.
>Chef comes over, bastard lights me on fire.
>Bartender fights him off, i roll out the fire.
>Call sec, nothing happens.
>Go to Medbay, get treated, later find out that the Bartender was a Head Rev all along.

>Newfriend assistant
>Capable of lighting a smoke and putting out a fire
I see you did your research.

He just left, I think.

No idea, once d20 lost it's players he disappeared into the aether never to be seen again.

Yeah, i didnt want to walk into the station not knowing how to walk and what the fuck a PDA was.

tfw no 3-(wo)man army uprisings anymore

i kindly wish to ask you not to spread lies here thank you

THE HELL IS THAT THING!?

On the left or the right?

yea

Left, the mutant

Belka shall rise again! Gib rightful clay back to Belka Cargonian scum!

It's a giant rat, it's a big ass NPC mob that fucks shit up. I remember during the Belkan uprising, one managed to take out several bulldozers before Freeman robusted it with his barehands.

Eh?

i have a bunch of greentext screenshots

The story of belka is a bit long, and a bit foggy to me. But it's what happens when you have a mad scientist bunny, her raging heterosexual life partner and a crazy redhead and let them build on their own for a good two hours.

That was an opossum, not a rat, you dum dumb silly dumb

technically it was a giant rat but its sprite was changed with admin magic

Ze hell do you mean "Balkan Uprising"?

See

What happened in this round? I don't remember.

This already sounds like it needs a visit from me and the rest of the sec boys.

>he thinks sec will be able to do anything against the power of nuclear missile bomb and fortified defenses
>we already had the whole armory
>it took a squad of 6 bulldozers to dislodge us
>mfw

I think i should tell a story about me first time as a tator tot.

>Be barman.
>Traitor. Steal AI.
>Fuck yea. Grab E-pen, Emag, Stretchkin, and some ammo.
>No idea where AI is. Decide i need practice.
>Some idiot wanders into bar. I decide he'll do. Drag him into the back room and empty a magizine of Stretchkin on him.
>Notice that my duffle bag of Traitor shit is missing.
>Go into back room to see if i can find it.
>Guy reanimated as a zombie. I am unable to kill him.
>Station dies soon after.

Sec were armed with c20's and yet they couldn't even get past our barricade

autism
the xeno cells were converted into gun ranges

Another time as traitor, this time as lawyer.

>Well fuck, i actually have a use for this briefcase.
>Go with the same outfit as before-Stretchkin, Ammo, E-pen, Emag.
>Have to make sure the bartender doesn't escape. Decide to kill him to ensure he stays on station.
>It's simple enough. Some AFK guy is burning to death in the back and i feign concern enough to lure him in there.
>The Stretchkin makes short work of him.
>Screw around trying to hide the body long enough for the entirety of Sec to arrive and arrest me. Apparently the bloody AI had seen me. They think im a ling cause of the burned body. I learn the horrors of fire soon afterwards.

That was partly me because i was bored while doing !!SCIENCE!! but i dont remember how that traitor science dude got me kilt

The d20 christmas (what didn't get ruined by Rusty) was comfy tho i wish i could have seen the trial for myself

Heh, I remember my first time as tator
>Be newbie Kathryn
>Still learning the ropes of toxins
>Two targets are off getting immortalis and other such viro fun stuff
>set up the toxins burn chamber and fill a can with gas
>grab oxygen tank and think I'm being clever by sneaking super heated gases in an oxy tank
>explode in a 3 dev explosion
>targets come over and find my gibbed body
>"Lol must've blew herself up"
and that is the story of me beginning to walk the path of bombunny.

oh fuck I vaguely remember "How Rusty Stole Christmas" what even happened anyways? It's been a long time. Hell where is Rusty anyways, I miss his shittery.

Rusty ruined christmas by releasing the singulo on our comfy comf comf station

Anyone have some epic tale of being a sec officer?

>tfw no more comfy stations
>tfw no more playing Roman Cancel and making people do paper work for mundane things
>tfw Kathryn will never get her senpai
>tfw 32 dev never
>tfw dead serbian
nothing but bad ends from here on out boys.

frankenbot soon friend

I wish that time would come within my lifespan

...

D O R F W H E N
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Ah please. Life goes on, as per usual. Doesn't matter how many times you die, doesn't matter how many times the station goes to shit and fucks itself. Centcomm'll still stick you back in the same old deathbox and tell you to work. Honestly, by this point i think we're all just the dead souls of the original station that died in some nuclear incident and a stuck in purgatory for our great sins against god and nature. It don't matter who you are, in 'er you'll be beaten to death, spaced, retrieved, and then cloned and set back to work. So shut yer damm mouth, and make sure that you don't fuck up enough to get the stations security team on your ass, or god forbid the death squads. If they come, do us a favor and kill me first. I don't wanna deal with them. Enough firepower to level an entire fuckin' stations worth of people, and they don't give a shit either. People like that, they've seen shit. They're probably the remmants of the previous twelve stations, come back to kill anything that gets in Centcomms way, and if they're here, that includes us. You probably wouldn't be able to escape them even if you jumped in disposals and ran your little ass off to lava land.

I wish i could've served with that HoS. He has his head in the right place, and i know that i would follow his orders to the best of my ability.

oh please, death squads are the last thing I have to worry about. I AM a walking dispensery of fire power. I level the station for fun, a bunch of nerds in blue suits would turn to ash before my power.

Veeky Forumsstation for me these days. I left TGstation after what happened with erro or something another.