Galactic Federation

Well knowing the Federation you really shouldn't be surprised.

Remove Decay!
"Also last time you're gonna hear of me for a long time because Adam said, whimper, "you've made us look like fools, we need someone with actual diplomatic training, you fucking warrior mongrel." So this is goodbye, TTFN

>from the vox there seems to be a sound of sniffling

"your going bealy?..... because your mad?"

>a clang is heard, it seems astral is reliving his stress with a torture exercise

"be safe then....... you stupid oaf"

>a cackling is heard from the vox

"wwwwwwwwwwwwhy don't you........just huggggggggg her aaaaaaaaalready........*wheeze*........its sickening"

>A wall seems to melt and out comes IVAN

Adam the Lord and valient leader of the Malkovich crusade, amibles in.
"Huh, Who are you, where the Serenity, and most importantly wheres the Beef?" The General extends his power claws his mark of office, his hat, gleams radiently from his head. "So what this I here about a federation? You welps actually know about the power of conversation?" The old man lights a thick brown tube it's smoke beginning to fill the room "One a day keeps the reavers away."

Hello, I don't think we have met before have we? Or if we have then this is extremely embarrassing for me. But anyhow, my name is Ovaa-Kezhada, and I represent my people, the Noo and my people's empire, the Noo Liberty Union

Nah that's just a rumor.

Start, start running boy.

The General sizes up the meek but proud diplomat up"A pleasure to meet you, Ovaa-Kzerza" He pulls his homemade mitts off and reaches out a gnarled a scarred hand "Do you Noo shake hands, put er there partner."

No, no, you're mistaken I'm human not Buoy.

"Ha ha, you're about to have to make for land when I drown you in cum buttboi." The General chortles out with a smile of his face, "And you this must be user. Why how are you Sir user?" He pulls a small cube out from his back pocket, throwing it at the ground it expands into a lawn chair "Best get comfy, nobody here but us trees."

Yes we are well aware of the common handshake greeting, and please call me Ovaa.
>He stretches out one of his appendages and gives the general a firm (hand)shake

:(

" Nice, nice I like that, Ovaa? now pal allow me to introduce my ownself." He flashes his vermillion cape, and pulls firm his virdian command head gear, his smoky greatcoat bellows in a breeze created by a drone waving it's claws, he pulls a cigar out and lights it for effect" You smoke? What I'm I saying, Hello friend I am Adam Geoffrey Malkovich, the Lord-General, of all these drones and censors that have popped up every which way." He waves the Speaker over to a table "Come sit I'm sure we have much to share about our speices."

I am pleased to meet you Mr.Malkovich, and no, I don't smoke, as we Noo do not have the same anatomy as you humans. So thanks but no thanks, anyways. What do you want to know about my people, I am sure you have a ton of question.

He puffs his cigar, blowing his smoke directly into the optical orbs of Ovaa,"I'm sure the same things, you would like to ask me, actually wait..." Looks around, stands up and walks over to empty trash, eyes it suspiciously, "Gotcha!" He launches his hand down pulling a defeated looking Beally out of the trash "You can go home later." he puts her head on his head "Stop fighting the danm mind-meld" Adam's breathing goes ragged the look on Beally's face clearly shows wanting to be everywhere but here. "Ding ding ding, we have a winner!" He lays the poor girl in a chair. He takes a seat in his lawn chair, "So, you Noo like to eat, hehe I like that, we censors are master gourmets and excel in making food that is palatable, for... all tastes." and he hums to himself as his mind processes the knowledge he'd extracted from Beally, "And you worship the notation of family, with your chief gods being a wife and husband, a mother and father, this will do." He taps his forehead, it starts to pulse a sickly blue color "And that's about it? I'm I right or am I right." Adam lifts his arms and points at Ovaa

That's correct, all of it. I am impressed Mr.Malkovich.

He wipes his forehead, "hehe don't thank me, thank Beally for doing such a good job of meeting a greeting you guys." he takes a long drag of the cigar, blowing a cloud of smoke into the room. "Now, where I am from it is considered rude, to know so much about you and for you to know nothing of me." He puffs the cigar, it's cherry still burning. He throws his hands in the air in a gesture of good will "Ask away ovaa, you've got questions and most unfortunelly have answers, got a lot to answer for too."

I have now been gifted two of these "sharks" of earth,i hope he'll survive the oceans

Can someone tell me why the lord of the andronians is here

Lord General of the Andronians? Well from what I've seen of Beally this better be good. Hello good sir!?

Khanin have you regained the ability to walk

Morning gentlemen, what's a andronian.

Beally's race Taxla so therefore a problem

Well, how much if a threat are they?

Not a big one. Besides Beally is imprisoned so she can't aid them with her trickery as well.

They claim they are all powerful,but nothing i would worry about,their crusade is undermanned and underfunded.
also have you seen these beings that earthlings call "sharks" i have been told they resemble me and now i have two for pets

One should never rely on trickery to win, although it's immensely satisfying when it blows back in their face.

I saw the creatures you speak of. The oceans of Yss have a larger aquatic predator, the Jorgu.

And we have beaten them before. Their leader the so called "Lord General" was impaled on my saber and was left to be pulled away from the station. I don't think they'll come for war though,they seem interested in diplomacy this time around.

Hmph. Very well then, we have heard about these raiders setting up base in the ploraxian fringes. We utterly destroyed then in one fleet battle.

The oceans of Ploraxia have something even more terrifying, the Klotthe. In the oceans of Ghelb, there is a creature called the Gom. Both are deadly and terrifying. And also what happened to Beally.

Some lord general getting himself shanked like that.

Heh. They tried to fight us and even had he audacity to invade a frontier world. Little did they know that the main battlefleet was in there, and literally we killed 90% of their forces.

Think they would have done a little research on where they were going don't you think.

Yes . Plotaxians do not take fondly to pirate groups. Mostly nowadays most pirates are rumar.

>the thurmamage frowns from the ceiling

you areeeeeee all being.................reather bbbbbbbbboring

>he liquefies a few cups and turns the drinks themselves into little gretchin to run around

wheres the carter?........oooooor the terran?

Let us hope so. We have mobilozed varoius fleet ajust in case.

Several guards with assualt rifles storm the room
Okay then, I am Xenobiologist Okii, a good friend of the terran. Now, let us talk. He will be here soon.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MORE PLAY THINGS...............you will do.

>a guard collapses vomiting and.....morphs into a cat?

iiiiiiiii will take one plaything for every question...........and return one for every answer I am given...........understood?........wwwwwwwwhere is the carter?

No more games! You will talk, I will send my guards outside if you want to talk.

Can someone post the discord link,i am interested in joining

games? GAMES?........I like games... do you want to play one?

>the "cat is hurled through the door, changing back to a confused guard as he lands

here you go discord : discordapp.com/channels/323822410228826112/323822851243245569

It sent me nowhere,can you send the invite

discord.gg/NkpmsQ

use this but do it quickly, and I might need to go in a min

THREADS ALIVE

I have returned. And Ivan if you want answers you should offer some of your own first. A question for a question is a fair trade. And to answer your question Ambassador Carter is currently in his home realm known as the Wastes.

WWWWWWWASTES?........the outlands?......the shimmering of black of silver of colour of not?......aghhhhhhhhhhhh

>shaking vigorously he implodes.........and reforms. what the fuck did this guy do to deserve this? a few seconds later he stares dead at the admiral, devoid of anything but consentration

aaaaaaaask and I will answer

Where are you from? And the Wastes is an other dimensional realm of death and decay. Carter only survives because he is one of the weaker Wastes beings.
>The Admiral stares ahead mildly amused

>gibbering and curled like a child, then marching around the room. Ivan begins to speak the mumblings dropping away like an unwanted cloak

iiiiiiiii am me, I am from terra glorious calm terra, but then I wondered, pondered, mused, though on. why do we do? how do we do? then BOOM

>his arms move like a paper banner in a tornado

many years gone. then it is this year. and I am here

where is the tea? I like tea. I want tea where is it?

The tea is right here.
>Wheels a tray with tea over to him
And since you asked another question I'll ask another too. How did you get to be this way if you truly are from Earth?

>as he sips the drink, it morphs and contorts and vanishes, seemingly into nothing.

my way mmmmmmmmmmmy way?......oh like this?...............*wheeze* simple, I am a thurmaturge, a mage.....an alchemist, an architect, a mad man. this I am all........ I followed sanity to its end, and some knowledge has a price......my price was sanity

>he cackles and turns the damirals shirt int oa pile of worms, then jelly, then back to a shirt

why do you wwwwwwwwhere so stupid silly is hat fashion liked?

The Lord-General looks around the room, the various gathered species clamaring for infomation, he flicks his cigar before lite another one"Well I can answer, Rukaar's question easily. I am here because Beally's job has been completed and phase 2 should begin, now I have a question for you, How many teeth?" He unhinges his own jaw, showing off the rows of grinding teeth that betray his censor nature. He drags his cigar and rotates his lawn chair so that he is facing Rippress Khanin, "Yes hello, from what I've managed to gleam from the recon organism, you and the Rumar are the only truly militant species is this poor pascified galaxy, do not worry, we will save you from the monotony that is everyday politicing, smoke?" He tosses a thick cigar Khanin's way "It's on the house.", He rotates one last time, facing the avian, and birdlike Duke, his arrogance radianting off him like a star, "You my friend, have asked the right question," He takes a deep breath "Well you see the Andronian Meganula is a 2 meter long invertabrate with 8 limbs two of them being having evoled into a precise pair of claws, capable of shreding through steel, it also features chormataphores than enable them to do this!" As if on queue the he leaps up and charges a random piece of furtiter, a chair, he throws it a wall near Karl, "Oh shame, normally that chair would'ave turn back into a drone back on the ship." He looks around the barely furnished room and begins to ruffle around in his coat pocket, "Can't beileve I dropped my cigar taclking furnituer again." He reclines in his lawn chair, "Normally I'd stop there but, since I know just a little to much about you, I'll share a bit more, Andronians are collectively the second caste of the Centarian empire, and most numerous with their myraid of sub-species and their own very, complex caste system, plus a knack for funky technolgical innovations fueled only by the insane imagations of Andronians on steroids, and lsd"

"Ivan, pal don't call another man's hat stupid." He says gripping his own Command Beret in a cold sweat.
"May I have a cup, tea parties are frowned upon during sancanioned crusades, but thankfully this isn't one, not that they even loved me enough to send me on one!"

>the being breaks its look at the teran and regards the high ranking humanoid......and laughs

"so cute, cute cute cccccccccute....... your a tough being are you not? but why be tough?........it makes little sense, AND I LOVE IT.........but where is this "recon organism" I WANT A NEW TOY

>the seat feels slightly less comfy and has a disturbingly warm and slick texture as his statement finishes

you know my name.............tttttttthats either odd or perceptive.......shame you can only apply the first to your own head ware............I want it now

>the being floats closer and plucks the commisat hat from his head before ........ throwing it at a tablet? in a flash of purple energy it duplicates and is hurled at the chairs feet

The combined insults, along with the scarelige that is hat throwing sends the General off the deep end,"Don't call daddy, don't call daddy, I must be a big boy." He perks up and pulls an ecaxt copy out from cold-storage "Always bring two of everything, thats what daddy told me." He tosses a beret back on his head, then tosses a less cool looking hat a Ivan, "Here an Honoary Censor Command Cap, I dub thee "Ivan the Teribble terror." He picks up Ivan pulls him into a bear hug, clearly attempting to smother him, "Hug time,I am cute, thank you for noticing, now I just wish Celestial Norwin notice me." He slumps down into his morphing lawn chair, "Notice me, Norwin-senpai." He starts to sob into an emborder hankerchef.

Now Adam please do not antagonize our new...visitor. We must let him get used to our Federation so hopefully he won't destroy it. If we could make peace with the Court we can do it here.

He takes a drag of the Cuban, the exhales the smoke in Karl's face "Pal, this man just attempted to warp my mind when I hugged him, this being is a creature of the Void, and there is only one way to deal with beings like that, Cigar?" He holds out two offering them to Karl and Ivan, still sporting his Command Beret.

So is this Lord General feeling ok?

Nah I'd rather not take something from the man I've already killed.
>Blows the smoke back
But all he has done is mess with your hat and chair. And that's a lot less then the mess you've caused us.

"Ok how my dear friend? My crush doesn't notice me and I have to deal with a mumbling fucktard forever now." Points to Ivan walking absentmindly into a wall, "Look at that shit, no come here." He grabs Ivan and sets him down in a chair, the chair begins to melt imeedtaly "Now look, you're getting yourself on everything."
"Killed? Friendo that was the Old Adam, his wounds were to much so they tossed him into a Digestion pool, I have all his memories, and I am basically him but, Shit yeah I'm still mad about that too, We're gonna have to have a santication proper duel one of these days." The General lites all 3 cigars, shoving them into his maw "Mentalgen." And reclines in his chair, "The mess I've cause you?" He looks around the clean room, the critical absent of any charts or war maps sends a look of questioning on to the General's face. "Now I dunno about you, but from what I gleamed we censors have only showed you a good time, with dance parties, violence and exploration oh my!" He cups his hands to the chilzed sides of his scarred face. "So please pray tell, how we have made things hard on you?" The predatory smile on the general's face belies his true intentions.

Oh its you

What.

It's a long story Baron,one you'll have to ask Carter about later.
>Draws his gun and points it at him
Leave Ivan alone. If he doesn't kill you he'll probably find a way to kill all of us. And perhaps we should,I would enjoy killing you again.
Ooc off to Disney so hold down the thread.

Part of me doesn't want to know, to mingle with the insane is to risk their affliction.

The General taps his head,"Sensing a ,general, hostility toward me, caused by lack of understanding here, friends." He takes several cubes out his great pocket, several more chairs expand around the small table, "Please take a seat, I wish to explain whatever it is, you need me to, too a willing audience." the General waves his hands in glee. "Also I wouldn't be pointing that peashooter around, you could put an eye out."

I'm comfortable where I am
>Taxla moves his claw to the handle of his sword
Who are?

"looking for a introduction are we?" with dramatic flair more fitting for theater than politics he swings his cape and throws his hat, "I am pervour of secrets, The Anchor of Malakith , the Lord General of Centarian Crusade Malkovich, ADAM MALKOVICH!!" He catches his hat expertly on his head. "And you are?"

I'm Baron Taxla, diplomat of the Dukedom and lord of the Herxi Estate on Yss.

"Kiss? Byss? Yss, I'm I saying that right? and what pray tell is your job here, in this federation, what does this Dukedom offer to the galaxy?" He puffs his Cigar eyeing the numerous babbles and shinies the Baron has.
>OOC:Gotta go guys, Be safe

I simply don't trust you

Please ignore him. He is just another cosmic annoyance for the members of our Federation.
Ooc BUMP

Hello Karl,any news of the UE

The Dukedom offers refuge to the avian peoples of the universe, and a beacon for progress and technology in the galaxy.

Well the UE is...struggling to deal with this factional strife. I honestly think both of them have been deliberating so long so they can prepare for conflict. That and preparing the fleet so we can evict the damn Andronians in case they try anything again. What do you think Baron of the "Lord General"?

Well i have received reports on perfected movement in the space near my border worlds,but they were not moving on rumarian space,they are moving into Noo worlds

Well how many of them are? Can you hold them?

Nothing major,just scouts but they are reported to be in Noo area.I can send some fleets to deal with it

I thought they were beaten?
Ooc how's the Discord look?

Ooc dead
They were forced out of my worlds and back to their home,but it seems they have regained power

Hmmm well how should we deal with this? Do you think your own forces can handle them?
Ooc that sucks what happened to Carter?

Ooc carter is at camp

A lunatic, if it weren't for simple manners I would have cut him down.

Hmmm well if he will just come back then perhaps we should negotiate.

Ooc gonna stop posting for a while so I can enjoy Disney. Keep the thread alive.

Ooc have fun

bump

"Just ,another, cosmic annoyance, hmm," The General taps, "Now just how many 'cosmic annoyances' are we talking about here?" He flexes his claws, "Well then."
"Whats that Shark bait? Sounds like you got a problem with these Perfected guys, and they're moving on that cute mushroom's guy homeplanet, how where I'm from this is a major problem, as most factions with a 1 part man are decidely evil."

Oh your're gonna piss me off
The Noo and I have already discussed our plans nothing for you to worry about

"Normally when someone says I the Lord-General of a Crusade, has nothing to worry about, I start worrying." He sizes up the 9ft tall, 1-ton massive Rumarian warlord, "I am not scared of you, Bruce, trust me I have the Bigger Boat and if you want to tango, boi we can tango all night!"

And normally when someone says that I Warlord of the Rumarian People can "tango" i break their necks
Now i do not wish to do that,so let us restart this conversation with less insults and threats

"Ok see, someone speaks nice around hear, Hello my dear shark faced friend, I am Adam, pleased to meet, whoever you are." he extends an ungloved hand showcasing the scarring and a cybernetic finger.

>Rukaar takes the handshake and shakes adams entire arm
there,much better