What's the shopkeep's name?

this
I have behindthename.com/random/random.php?number=1&gender=both&surname=&randomsurname=yes&norare=yes&all=yes
open at all times

This. It's part improvization, and half just being ready with random shit you can put in where it's needed. If an NPC is asked their name, and the GM is completely unable to deal with this likely turn of events, they didn't do their homework.

Clearly the DC to find the trap was 21.

>Address player by character name
>They have no idea who I'm talking to until I outright say it
Fuck players in general.

Not every DM has 20 be auto-success on skill checks. The rulebook doesn't even say you have to do it that way.

>Address player by character name
>They have no idea who I'm talking to

Yeah players are eternal cunts.

Like I took the name advice. Named all my npcs. Even random combat mooks. Those mooks would announce there names and make some threat before combat began.

>hey gm why do all these mooks announce their names before they attack us that's shit lol lol
Fuck me gms cannot win.

>Have player in group, let's call him Dingus
>Dingus thinks he is a veritable tactical genius.
>Dingus's plans sometimes, but not always rise to the level of coherence. I can't think of any I'd call "good". They usually involve mutilating corpses somehow to achieve the desired effect, no matter how piss-poor the logic is.
>GM will then have NPCs and such act in a more or less normal manner, often disregarding Dingus's "tactical genius".
>Dingus will then whine and throw tantrums.
>Inevitably, DM will give into Dignus's tantruming and retcon the scene to the beginning so they're suitable impressed/afraid/conciliatory/surprised/whatever.
>Absolutely refuses to ban him for his shit, and I have no idea why, he's not a lifelong friend or anything, just a guy we met at the LGS.

>Address player by characters name
>No response
>Do it again
>Still nothing
>Say their real name
>Nope
>Again, only slightly louder this time
>Still silence
>REALLY LOUD NAME OF PLAYER
>"Huh? Ooh, yeah I attack or whatever."

GMing an online session was a mistake

>was told a lie about our motivation for doing our quest, my character doesn't know it's a lie
>try to enlist the help of an npc
>tell the npc the motivation in an attempt to sway them
>dm: roll deception
>me: but my character doesn't know that it isn't the truth
>dm: it's still a lie

>thinking a 20 is an auto success on skill checks
Read the fucking rulebook.

Then why let them roll off it? Just tell them that they don't find anything.

Considering the example given was a perception check, which is presumably an opposed roll against a stealth check of some sort , A 20 might have been good enough, if not for the fact that the GM also rolled very high. It's of course easily possible for the monsters to have as good or better skills in a particular area than the PCs.

>players complain about not being able to carry all the loot
>i abandon realism, tell them from now on they can carry whatever their carry weight is
>when they ask me where they carry their stuff i tell them they put it up their ass
>one guy after the session gives me a fucking list of things to improve their immersion
>he wants a house where things are kept
>he wants me to remember every simple small piece of the house
>he also wants immersive housebuilding and people who follow them around and carry their stuff
>in a campaign about solitary wanderers
I can't win with my players

A list of names by region, culture or race is like literally one of the only things you actually need as a tool as a GM. If you don't have that absolute basic most braindead level of prep (which takes all of 30 seconds and two mouse clicks; thanks, internet!) then you really don't deserve to be running a game.

Improvising =/= coming to the table with absolutely nothing either tool- or reference-wise.

I've never met a good DM who a) couldn't think up a stupid name on the spot or b) couldn't admit that he forgot to think up a name and was open to suggestions in a brief tangent.

It's always the shitty ones who get defensive whenever they get caught with their pants down and they're usually the ones who waste the most time.

> "Hey man, remember that character idea you had, I really liked it, you should play it in my campaign."

> "Oh I guess I didn't realize my campaign was filled with enemies who are practically designed to counter you. You can bail on the character if you want, I didn't realize their build sucked."

OR YOU COULD JUST NOT SEND MAGIC IMMUNE, MONSTERS. OR JUST GIVE ME LITERALLY ANYTHING TO DO. GIVE ME A BOX I CAN ROLL TO UNLOCK, I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF IT'S EMPTY, GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO

DM: Yo, the session you missed was fucking hilarious, your character was kidnapped and raped by a dragon and the party had to save you!

yes, my character was actually anally raped because I missed a session.

That'lll teach you

You deserved it

...

that's actually hilarious, and kinda hot

>What's the shopkeep's name
>I don't know, You tell me.
Seems to work, and gives players a clear example of having agency in the game from the get-go. I just have to keep track with decent note-taking.

That's not the kind of agency anyone wants.

Shops have names now?

Isn't it just "Mary's shop" "Julius' shop" "Mark's shop" ????

legit asking

>I want to compliment the innkeeper on his fine establishment, I ask him his name
>Uh he tells you it's....Bob Mcfinnigan

>Because names say something about a location, about its culture and the person who has it,
This is autism in text form.

This one made me laugh though. This is the best example of modern Veeky Forums gaming

I'm guilty of this some times, my attention just kinda drifts off every once in a while. I'm sorry

Amusingly, I find that this situation is actually something that never happens. Players are usually so focused on getting what they want or reacting to threats that in 95% of all conversations they never ask the NPC's name, or even give their own.

He's right though

I like your players though, like he literally wants to immerse himself in the world. That's good my man.

Also
>players are too retarded to craft a transportation bed for their stuff
>literally 2 sticks together with a blanket
They deserve everything they get

Why must it be one extreme or the other? Is this bait?

Never give into your players on shit like that. They can't carry all the loot: they have to make choices and think about things. If they want a building for storage they have to build one, that or search for and take or buy one. If they want servants to carry their bags they better find and hire them or kidnap and enslave them, and at that point they ought to just get a cart and either pull it themselves or get a tame animal to pull it.

Rolled 15 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

Looks like stealthy That Guy thread. Let's check it.

It started a continuing trend, by the end of the campaign he had been raped by a Dragon, an orc chief, and the paladins Griffon

Eventually he decapitated the griffon, fucked the paladin ( consentually) and raped a drow, who fell in love with him after... It was at this point I had to question what the actual fuck I was doing and if I had unknowingly been taking part in an ERP without knowing it

Lots of grammar errors but I'm too tired and pissed at my dm from like 7 years ago to fix them

So when are you going to bring vengeance to the dragon and the orc chief?

Role-playing out shopping scenes is a waste of time. It always ends with one player spending 20 minutes trying to get a better price on something minor while everyone else waits around.

The player should say what they're looking for, and the DM should decide if it's available, roll dice for whatever skill represents haggling, and say "The best price you can get is X. Take it or leave it."

While I agree I still disagree with you. Really made me think

But what if the shopkeep's name is "Idon't Fuckingknow"?

What's his brother's name?
Does he have any children?
Where do they all live?

Brother's name is "Ididn't."
Three kids but one passed away last winter.
Above the shop.

I usually do what the first few times. If it keeps happening for reasons none other than for the sake of that-player-ing, the names start getting more and more silly. Before you know, you're in a medieval fantasy town or village, and all the background npcs are either memes or anime characters. Either they get the point and stop, or laugh about it.

What's the cultural basis for this naming scheme?
How did the child die?
Why does his brother lives with his children?

I have a list of random names on my screen so if I need to, I can just assign people names if need be.

But what you said is the most retarded thing ever.

Imagine getting carjacked

>STOP YOUR CAR AND RENDER IT UNTO ME, THE GREAT DEREK, STEALER OF CARS!

Like, if it makes sense for them to know a character's name, then roll with it. Take a fucking improv class or something.

Your example is great though, I would like to be in the table where that happened.

Marcassus Throd
Orik Ironbrow
Pennula D'Qubery
Daven "2 coppers" Jegar
Tas Ro'Lysus, of the guild of steambreathers

Im just making this shit up. Its fucking midnight here and I just stepped out of the bedroom because I forgot to take my pills.

Step your game up. If you cant improv names, you cant improv.

Gypsy curse long ago
Goblin attack
He's a deadbeat

This and shit where players make choices that clearly make no sense in the gameworld context because they are Metagaming too hard pisses me off to no end.

Like I literally DM'd this guy

>Lawful Good Cleric
>Absolutely by the book on everything, a boyscout about everything
>Completely diplomatic, always tried to solve problems before being forced into a fight
>Another PC pilfered a holy symbol (not the reason for their delve) of the Cleric's god in another room (non magical) and bluffed his way out of admitting it
>Other PC wanted to sell it when they got back into town
>Had to camp for the night.
>Cleric takes first watch
>"I want to search his things"
>DM "Why?"
>"I just don't trust him, there was something in there."
>DM "Why do you think that? There was nothing special about the room, you got your intel."
>"I just think he's lying."
>DM "Oh you do? Well your roll says different."
>"But he's a rogue..."
>DM "Who has always been by your side and never given you reason to mistrust him."
>"But he's always doing illegal shit"
>DM "Have you seen any of it?"
>"No"
>DM "Have you heard about it, or has there been any reason you feel like he's been untrustworthy?"
>"No, I just don't trust him, I think he stole something."
>DM "No, you actually fucking don't think that."

This shit went on for like 45 minutes, he made everyone so fucking mad.

Could you see THROUGH the door?

Thats just unforgivable. When in doubt, the kings name is Rex Regis

Find either a new group, or a new GM

Always a mistake.

Considering there are probably quite a few GMs actually ITT, I figured Id field an idea:

Some of the groups Ive been running for have had a consistent problem thats bogged things down: planning everything OOC, then relaying it IC, then executing. This obviously makes everything take at least 50% longer, if not more. In future, Im planning to issue a rule that you can only talk OOC if you're talking to me, the GM if we're at the table. Do you think this is reasonable, and do you think it will help?

Who exactly made everyone so mad? The DM, the cleric, or the thief?

Well satan, the thief made the cleric player mad because it was sacrilege to do that with his holy symbol. But since the actual ingame cleric couldn't know the item was even in the room and was stolen the player had to bite his tongue. Then When I (DM) finally put my foot down and said, he could not search his bag without justification, it made the player mad, which then pissed off the other players who were saying he had no reason to search the bag.

He wanted to roll for everything to try and justify his suspicions, but I wouldn't let him make any checks until he had a cause; which is how he had been playing the character in the entire campaign, he never did anything unless he had a purpose for it.

If he were just another dick-ass rogue I would have been fine with it.

At that point the GM should've rolled behind the screen and tell the player that he didn't find anything incriminating. He's metagaming and shouldn't be rewarded for it.

But was the thief in the right or in the wrong?

He stole something, so in terms of moral code? No, he was not. Why does that matter?

I've always found this to be weird as hell. Addressing the character directly just feels wrong.
>(user's name) you're up, what does (Character name) do?
Just flows better for me. Maybe I'm just autistic. I am on Veeky Forums after all, would explain a couple things.

He is the catalyst.

Its always the thief for some reason

Natural 20 let's you do amazing things, including gaining control of the campaign and becoming the new GM.

>"Al Souq"
>"OK"
>DM uses name three times when we ask after shopkeepers
>Get suspicious
>Look it up when I get home
>Arabic for "The marketplace"

Not even mad.

There's a reason they're called dick-ass rouges, user.

Allah snackbar

>you know realize there is a secret arab merchant ring in your setting
When are you exposing them?

>not google translating appropriate words for character names

>not having your exotic animal dealers be named shit like Cage, Prod, and Trap in greek

Best solution.

>DM: Okay, you search the bag. You find nothing.
>Cleric: What? He said he put it in there.
>DM: Yeah, but I decided he just didn't trust you not to search him, and hid it later. You okay with that, Thief?
>Thief: Yeah, I like the sound of that. I had a sudden burst of paranoia that the Cleric was going to do that.

Or else the Thief can just declare his character happens to get up for a piss break while the Cleric was elbow deep in his worldly possessions. If the Cleric's PC can decide when his character feels suspicious based on metaknowledge, the Thief can decide he needs to take a leak based on metaknowledge.

I keep seeing anons talking about playing/GMing online. Where/how does this happen? I assumes its not with people you know IRL, but with randoms.

Roll20 is probably the most common form of this. It has a lot of drawbacks, but it'll work if you're really desperate for a game.

I'll be honest, I mostly just want to see how bad a trainwreck I can find.

At this point I only RP out big purchase items, like trying to get magic items, mounts, or real estate. If its shit like rations and ammo I just let my players stock up on their own. We don't need to role play buying sandwiches.

I've run games over Roll20, but typically with old college friends who moved out of state or gaming budies who live all over the country.

I can't imagine DMing for randos unless it was just some pre-packaged stuff.

>kinda hot

>It's not actually Derek, it's Jamal.
>Derek hires the PC to clear his name.

Works great if you're playing anything but D&D and WoD, I've found.

>players mic breaks during session
>instead of typing stuff in the roll20 chat he fumbles for a mic for 20 minutes disrupting the session immensely
>doesn't have the brain power or the mindfulness to check his microphone before the session

Fuck players

Stealing this so hard.

I've found some great WoD groups on Roll20, but I know that I've won the game lottery.

Oh I don't doubt it's possible, but finding that would be time consuming.
More likely, you'd have to join/create/run a bunch of groups before you can find a couple decent people and put them together.

I always make sure my groups are predominantly my friends who play the way I like to. My current group is three players, two are long-time gaming buddies I've known for three or four years, and the other's a complete random. I find that tends to take the pressure of trying to figure out if you're running the right game for someone if you know you're running it for 2/3's of the party. The only bad experience I had with a random (Beyond no-shows, which whilst irritating are easily dealt with) was when one was intentionally disruptive and I was too dumb to tell him to just leave.

It's really not.

If you're running a game, do you just use shitty mismatched names based on whatever comes to your head first? Do you have five NPCs named George, John, James, Hitashi, and Mohammad? If you heard those five names, would you assume two of them came from somewhere else?

Names of people, places, and things can be a wonderful way to outline a change in setting or make a foreign character stand out. It's not that hard, there are many ethnic or regional name generators out there that categorize names from different regions or ethnicities. It helps make a setting feel consistent.

I mean, to be fair, that's how it works IRL too.

Can you name the cashier of the last store you went to? If you can, could you if they didn't wear a name tag (such as in a historical setting where literacy isn't the norm)?

Most couldn't. Why should PCs? Why should they stop and chat and get the life story of some NPC who probably has his own shit to do, as does the party?

Because PCs are expected to haggle and socialize with the shopkeeper directly, this isn't a supermarket made to deal with as many customers as possible.

This. Don't ask the GM for information like that. Ask the goddamn NPC.

I worked as a cashier at a gas station for about three years, and all my regulars knew me by name. I could never remember any of their names, though. But then again, I'd forget my own birthday if I didn't have to use it all the time.

>auto-success on skill checks
Yeah I've never played where this was the case. Usually, though, if rolling a 20 won't do it, a GM will simply tell you not to roll because there's no chance you'll be able to succeed, it'll just autofail.

And it makes sense. It's like if some guy without a high school education and no experience and he's blind and deaf tried to perform brain transplants. Pretty sure he'd just fail all the times and not succeed 1 out of 20 times.

No, not really. Frankly, I consider planning OOC to be gameplay. It's a legitimate part of the game and if the players enjoy it, then the golden rule of GMing applies - never interrupt players if they're all having fun.

If the players are getting frustrated because OOC planning is taking too long or something, or some players enjoy it and others don't, then work with them OOC to find ways to streamline. Don't just make up a sudden rule out of nowhere, it'll only leave the players who obviously want to plan things out OOC feeling shut down.

No, the GM should've just explained that the player was using meta knowledge. Being able to come up with a flimsy excuse that is technically in-character does not excuse blatant metagaming and it should've been called out for what it is.

finding some "cute" workaround just turns the game into a frustrating metagame for all the other players.

It'll work if you have a good group, because it's the group that makes the game, not the tech. I actually have grown to like it, but I don't join random public games, I play with people I know and get along with.

Says who? In some cultures, a traditional market transaction is a sit down, have coffee, talk for an hour affair, and in others it isn't.

Adventuring parties are typically not regulars, since they're, you know, out adventuring.

You were wearing a name tag you fucking dope.