You know what really grinds my gears?

You know what really grinds my gears?

You know what really rustles my jimmies?

You know what really gets my autism flaring?

Fucking Uno. Normies playing Uno. The same applies for any other fucking card game with a basic deck. Fuck off! It takes thirty minutes to learn an actual fucking card game like Magic, or, fuvk it, even YuGiOh or Pokemon. It doesn’t take much. But normies are persistent! They never want to fucking learn! They play with their subpar cards, with stupid fucking symbols and numbers. My fucking near mint PSA grade 10 Force of Will counters every fucking +4 in Uno! Disgusting plebs. Their arguments piss me off too.
>“Ooh, we just wanted to play a casual game.”
FUCK OFF! I have a casual kitchen table deck too, but you never let me play! I’LL STORM THE EVERLASTING SHIT OUT OF YOU! YOU DISGRACEFUL WHORE! I WILL RIDDLE YOUR FEEBLE BODY WITH GRAPESHOTS!
>”It’s too complicated!”
IT’S NOT COMPLICATED YOU CUMCONFUSED SEA OTTERS! YOUR WEAK UNEDUCATED MINDS WILL BOW BEFORE THE MIGHT OF PHYREXIA! I WILL MINDSCULPT YOUR FUCKING BRAIN UNTIL I MAKE YOU MY CIRCUMCISED SOCKPUPPETS!!!
Look at them! Smiling as they throw down stupid, flimsy cards for children. They disgust me! They could play a sophisticated game for gentlemen with masterful art, calculated strategy and sublime mechanics. Instead they choose math for kindergartners. Heh. Pitiful. One day. One day though. The time will come, when Sandra from HR will invite me over for one of their uncultured games AND I WILL SHOVE MY ULTIMATE GUARD DECKBOXES INTO HER RECTUM WITH THE FORCE OF A THOUSAND BLOOD MOONS!
But for now, I’ll wait… Oh, I’ll wait...

Yeah, we all miss having quest threads on Veeky Forums.

>normies reeeeeeeee
A good thread probably died for this. You should feel ashamed.

Hmm... initial impact seems good. Original concept to get angry at, good options to head into discussion, but I'm just getting the feeling you're trying too hard here. The prose is great, but at the same time too overdone. I mean, the words and the context say you're angry, but I'm not getting that feeling that you're really that angry about this, don't oversell it too me.

Still, a fine effort, I look forward to seeing your future work.

8/10, Room for improvement, but a fine addition to anyone's Trolling Portfolio.

>It takes thirty minutes to learn an actual fucking card game like Magic
Considering the number of people who claim to have been playing for 10+ years that still don't know basic things like how triggers work, what is and isn't an activated ability, or what the colorless mana symbol does and doesn't mean, I find your statement to be very objectionable.

This looks like a find and replace pasta, but I'm not familiar with the original.

Whatever, I laughed.

You can play at a casual level pretty much within the time frame he mentioned though

I think you should expand on this OP, a bit more text and we could have a good copypasta.

If anything it needs to be edited down.

My thoughts exactly. Transfer about 30% of the apparent rage to two more paragraphs including a nice conclusion, and we'd be golden.

However, as an aside, the "getting normies into our easy hobby" angle has some interesting possibilities. I might re-explore this topic as a personal story relating the events of a so-called game night. Some subtlety could do some amazing things for this triggering Veeky Forums.

>good threads on Veeky Forums
>ever

No, in this case an apparent autismal length of writing would actually help this type of pasta.

What the fuck did you say about me you little bitch and masterwork bastard sword are both much more concise.

I peed myself off this

I feel that the story here is that OP just got owned at Uno by his non-gaming friend/family member.

Yes, but you've also got to consider the style of writing here. Long, ranting insults would actually do more to show how angry the poster is. And the general consensus was indeed that this pasta felt... unfinished.

OP here, how should I fix this? Take out the hurried ending, and throw in what?
>"lingo is too hard."
>"it takes up too much time"
Ideas?

You got me OP, I almost didn't see the joke

UNO is a better card game than Magic. Infinitely less expensive, too.

Complexity does not a good game make. You are also completely ignoring finances.

It might not have been good but it beats "these fucking normies like what I don't like"