GM Whining thread

>that one player that makes characters who are superficially normal without anything interesting
>that one player whos character always asks why they're travelling into dangerous areas
>that one player whos character always wants to go home
>that one player who is also constantly disinterested and quiet

Cheers for the work OP
Your campaign should be played with other people, at least it's not prepared for nothing.

Why does anyone ever think making a character with no reason to be involved/invested is a good idea?
It's because people are dumbasses.

I'm communicating with one guy and he's got schedule issues which means we have to postpone the next session

Its incredibly annoying when you put a lot of work into something and then your guys expect you to do EVEN MORE while they put in less effort than you want them to

friends my ass. how the fuck am i supposed to juggle npc roleplaying, quests, locations, all of the rules and play motherfucking soundeffects on top of that?

Am i some kind of kiddie entertainer?
What the fuck is going on here?

Also i made them quickrules for the homebrew
>once in an image
>and another one as a 6 page word document

And nobody bothered to read them so i had to spend the first hour explaining the rules again!
And i told them the rules during character creation as well!

I know that feel too well. You can't even starve them because they'll just drop the ball and move on. The only way is to either talk about the issue (which will make everyone walk away) or walk away. At this point it's too late i'm afraid.

>54350369
Dude life fucking sucks man

Do I know you? This sounds word for word like a friend of mine's problem.

The good part is that being a GM you are pretty "rare" especially if you put some effort into it. I guess you have to gather new people around your table and not be afraid to choose the people you enjoy playing with.

I have to make a fucking facebook account now to look for new players
This is especially annoying because the guys i currently play with have been my real life friends since like 6 years
Fuck me in the ass

>I have to make a fucking facebook account now to look for new players
What
No
Better not play than recruiting on fucking facebook

Where else?
I can't go to random people on the street and ask them if they play tabletop

Going into nerdstores is only going to get me retarded autists

Making new friends takes a lot of time

Yeah alright I get the issue
You met some players who you never got around playing with ?
Do you have a local RPG association ?
Some RPG forums might be an idea
Lurk Roll20 forums to get some contacts ?

I don't know, TTRPG is so popular in my country that I never had the need to recruit.

Godspeed good gm

Thank you
I will try my best

I did that, worked out pretty well. Players are great, none actual aspies, just too busy to get more involved with any community.

>Do all of this
>Craft my own television table with an old TV and plexiglas I have to display custom maps I made in photoshop. Don't have a lot of minis so improv. a few from my very old pathfinder starter kit (those karton/paper ones)
>Wanted it to be really good because a year ago I kinda dropped the bomb but since then I've been DMing a few games more
>Prepare custom maps, items, small little curios like written notes ect. for a small yawning portal campaign
>Day comes
>Player characters: a slutty elven whore, a solid floating cube (as in an actual solid white cube) wizard that calls itself "1" and a standard template human fighter
>S-sure I can work with that
>At first sign of adventure the elf runs off to a river because she is thirsty and wants to roll for clumsiness to fall in. starts going into the opposite direction of everything
>Tell the group this is not going to work after about an hour and 30 minutes and that we agree that we're better off just playing talisman, elf agrees. Its not as fun as he thought it would be and that he might just like LARP more.
and I really thought they would like it, too.

>Guy makes a beatstick melee guy minmaxed to kill most dudes in one hit and not get hit
>Never walks in front when going through a dungeon
>The whole party will literally stand around in the hallway waiting for this guy to take the in character hint that he should go first, this has happened dozens of times, party starts sounding like goddamn Dora the Explorer

>Wizard: "Fuck that, I'm not opening the door. Last time there was a minotaur waiting right behind it. I don't want to be standing in front of a minotaur..........I like to be in the back where I can cast spells.......Sure would like someone else who likes to be in front to go first......like someone wearing full plate armor.....Can you see a party member that needs to be in front to be effective? Let's ask my familiar Boots....."

>Most of the time the party just gets frustrated and the cleric is just like 'fine, I open the door, oh, look, a beatstick monster, sure would have loved to not be in melee with it, oh well, guess we have to spend a couple of turns desperately managing the positioning of the party because we're all single file walking down a hallway and for some reason the fighter is wandering around the back of the line'

Why even make a character like that if you aren't gonna do stuff?

I think we've had quite a few noteworthy adventures but my group never storyriems anywhere

>At first sign of adventure the elf runs off to a river because she is thirsty and wants to roll for clumsiness to fall in. starts going into the opposite direction of everything

Did the player do that on purpose or out or because he didn't know better?

>tfw

I'm still not sure what I should do when it's my turn to GM again. I hate it. Maybe I'll bring a lot of booze and start the session in a tavern. Then I can force everyone to get drunk for roleplaying purposes and nobody will remember in the morning how awful it was.

he did it on purpose because "that was what his character would do"

Not him but I think the player just got confused about what "thirsty" means. He was playing a thirsty elven whore after all.

Yea those are the worst kinds of players
You fucking signed up for an adventure not for wandering around like a retard

Maybe you should just straight up tell him

Was in a campaign (as a player) with a dude kinda like that. He and I were both fighters, him more of a tank and me more of a dps kinda guy. Then he decides to start multiclassing as a bard while all the characters are level 7, and now insists on playing only as a bard. So he's hanging back, casting all the bard spells he can as a fucking LEVEL ONE bard, leaving me to try to tank as much as I can before being inevitably knocked out almost every fight. Luckily the DM was a good guy, let me exploit a few things in the game that basically let me actually be one of the stronger PCs in the party to make up for the bard being an idiot

>Players ask for an intrigue heavy campaign
>All right, give me a bit to spin up a setting.
>Why would you need to do that, GM-user?
>Because an intrigue campaign requires multiple NPC powerbases who are competing and need adventuring sorts like you to slip through the gaps in the power structure, I can't just conjure all that up out of thin air.
>What do those words mean?
>Make a detailed setting with lots of scheming rival important sorts, players have lots of choices who to align with on what issues, and how far to go in service of their allies.
>Players pick a few missions to do.
>Are honestly surprised and outraged when the people on the pain end of their missions are now mad at them and won't hire them or even sic their guards on the PCs!

I've come to the conclusion that people who want "intrigue campaigns" simply want to be fellated at how they're Machiavellian masterminds, regardless of how stupid their plans actually are.

He didn't name his character Fflewder by any chance, did he?

>>Players ask for an intrigue heavy campaign
>>All right, give me a bit to spin up a setting.
>>Why would you need to do that, GM-user?
>>Because an intrigue campaign requires multiple NPC powerbases who are competing and need adventuring sorts like you to slip through the gaps in the power structure, I can't just conjure all that up out of thin air.
>>What do those words mean?
>>Make a detailed setting with lots of scheming rival important sorts, players have lots of choices who to align with on what issues, and how far to go in service of their allies.
>>Players pick a few missions to do.
>>Are honestly surprised and outraged when the people on the pain end of their missions are now mad at them and won't hire them or even sic their guards on the PCs!
>I've come to the conclusion that people who want "intrigue campaigns" simply want to be fellated at how they're Machiavellian masterminds, regardless of how stupid their plans actually are.

Thats why players are fucking retarded. Can't think further than the length of their penis and have to complain and go quiet with every obstacle they encounter

>Be only member of group that's a useless NEET and not getting swamped by college and work
>Try to GM something so that they can just enjoy a game without all the prepwork and other GM stuff
>Also be the shittiest member of the group in regards to writing and RPing.
>Know for a fact the game would be 10 times better if one of the other guys was running it.
>So far they haven't called me out on being terrible or told me to fuck off.
I guess mediocre gaming is better then nothing?

>Have a player who keeps using "I'm only playing my alignment" as an excuse to be a dick
>Beating up randoms
>Threatening locals
>Threatening me
>One time he actually defaced our druid's sheet for not playing True Neutral properly, nevermind the druid was neutral good.
>He treated us all to taco bell last evening and forgot to get drinks, this was the last straw.
>Running a game, he starts his whining, then gets off his sweaty ass and stinks out my bathroom.
>He returns and puts his dumper on my seat. We continue for half an hour.
>Tries to get up
>Realizes he's stuck in the chair
>While he was in the bathroom I splattered the sweaty chair with gorilla glue
>I pull my mask off, oh it had been days since he ruined a 4th edition game and I was getting pretty smelly under it.
>"YOU!!" he screamed in terror as tears ran down his face, flashbacks to when I bombed his table during a power outage could be seen in his eyes
>A cheshire smile split my cheeks
>Drop trou and leave a a nice big heap of taco tish right on his lap

Or maybe you just don't have enough self-confidence to see how good of a gm you are

Im in the exact same situation but reversed right now
>play tanky fighter that is great for gridlocking 2+ foes at a time
>Instead the wizard is the party "initiatior" and keeps doing dumb fucking shit and running into stuff

Finally got my revenge though, he brazenly interrupted a lords festival of some kind and I just blended in with the crowd and saw him and his equally retarded cleric friend detained.
I did bail him out in the end by a planned escape and a few good rolls

>NEET
>Know for a fact the game would be 10 times better if one of the other guys was running it.

You have too much free time that you spend on overthinking shit and keeping yourself down.
Share some of your GM stories or plot ideas and let Veeky Forums be the judge.

Not a GM rant but a player rant instead

>I'm the only one in my group who takes things seriously, tries to roleplay and move things forward
>Feel like an asshole because I don't give the others the chance to do anything
>Decide to let my group do things on their own
>They sit there, mill about, do nothing and waste time
>Feel like an asshole because the game isn't going anywhere cause no one is doing anything
>Repeat

what setting are you hosting user? tell us about it. As long as its all fun and good and the players are enjoying themselves theres no need to beat yourself up. In fact they are probably grateful for you taking the time they don't have to set it up in the first place. I know I would and I love our DM for it.

If you want to ask for reassurance or something, don't straight up ask what they liked and didn't like(perhaps thats fine after session 1 but it gets annoying after a while) but rather ask what their characters think of the story thus far. If they are thinking about what to do the next session, it means they are involved and are enjoying themselves and you can get some insight on what to prep for the next one

You could try engaging the players until they've come out of their autism shell

things that happened

See, now I know I'm not an absolute shit GM, I am better then the Roll20 baseline and would probably blow away a group of normies.
The issue is that the dudes I'm GMing for now are semi-professional writers with decades of RPG experience, I am not and didn't manage to have a group last for more then a month until 2 years ago.
It's the skillgap being so large that's intimidating more then anything else I suppose.

>Don't actually enjoy DMing all that much
>Only do it because literally every single other person in the group is a terrible, terrible DM, the stuff that makes horror stories either out of magical realming, railroading to hell and back, or sheer stupidity.

>Have a player who keeps using "I'm only playing my alignment" as an excuse to be a dick
I'm sure your alignment would make you stop him or restrain him so, do it

Think about it like this: You are enabling a space where they can portray their creativity. There's a reason voice actors, witters and in general creative people love D&D. Regardless of skill, experience or style, they are most likely grateful enough that you are bringing them together for a fun game in the first place.
Just have fun with it

>the complainer demands that i use sound effects
Is this normal for GMs? Could you guys tell me if its good or bad or a waste of time?

complete waste of time. i'm going to mute your music so i can hear everyone.

I find it funny how THAT'S the part you take issue with

Music and sound fx only work if you play IRL and only when its played really softly
Digitally everyone experiences it differently in terms of volume ect and it'll just be annoying.

>It's the skillgap being so large that's intimidating more then anything else I suppose.

You can always ask them for suggestions on what to improve and how.

Alignment is a shit system and anyone using it should stop playing RPGs all together

Jesus christ what kind of subhumans do you people play with

I was wondering how to make my creatures more menacing when they attack, or as a warning sign for the player that the dragon is now pissed off.

Also I don't play online and we all at the table enjoy background 'music' (not actually music since they have no lyrics), plus shuts down the car noise outside so we immerse better.

I couldn't care less about OP's dumb problems. I'm here to learn how to be better nothing more.

You'll find out that most people are boring, indecisive or indifferent.

Fuck I replied to the wrong user. Whatever

Similar issue except people complain I'm going "too fast" and the GM calls me out saying I should stop moving the scene along.

Next session there's about a 10 to 20 minute window of nobody. saying. anything. I got the last word in the conversation, the GM can't move the scene for us, and nobody else does shit.

Only in text games, man.

id suggest attempting to recruit off of here as well
tg is filled with autist but at least most of us are high functioning
all the games ive played on roll 20 have really fucking special snow flaked people
Like a hermaphrodite lizard person
or a weird race that is basically a elf+ squid was another one i saw
People on roll20 tend to be fucking strange

I still find it funny that's what you take issue with.

>that one player who is also constantly disinterested and quiet
That player is me.

But its because the GM is shit and built a
homebrew Isekai setting where we use characters from a game he is 'developing' and are transported into a different world, objective is to go back to each character's respective world. And I couldn't give less of a fuck about my character because I have no attachment to him, nor do I have any desire to go back to 'my world' that I know nothing of.

>Only in text games, man.
>Implying you don't have just as many indecisive fucks in voice games too.

I'm not sure what message I'm supposed to get from your post other than the fact that you're a huge retard

>Play a 5e game with a 3.x fan, someone permanent attachment to their smartphone & a house plant
>Do a sandbox city adventure with guilds, noble houses and plenty of adventure locations/pre-written material for players to go through
>Give the players a single page handout with a short paragraph of all of the POI in the city
>Start the session, "since you've all returned to the city, what would you like to do?"
>Crickets, then player with a smartphone suggest "go to the quest board?" And goes back to looking at FB on her phone.

That's your own fault user. If you leave the rest of the party "because my character has no attachment to the rest of them" or you have no motivation "because my character is a blank slate and I know nothing about my backstory" it's your own fault.

If you come up with a backstory for your character, your DM can write you interesting content that focuses on your character.

>Run perfect campaign
>Can't enjoy running/playing in anything else ever again

If i recruited of here i'd get a lot of english speaking americans who are up for online play

I'm gonna search at my local places using facebook i think

Tell me about the perfect campaign.

Help me out here
>Invest time in drawing hand-drawn maps
But if there comes a point and I have to improvise a map, then it will be very apparent that I improvised the map. what do?
Do you just make maps for the "special" zones and dungeons or do you prepare a ton of backup maps? or do you forgo maps completely and just use them as your mental notes?

ah you wanted a irl game
Well good luck to you user may you part the sea of That Guy's and arrive at the holy land of Good roleplayers

same
How do I stop being shit?

I make notes beforehand, then i create the maps based on those

Thats mostly because i know my players fuck up everything and i have to make stuff easier for them

>want to play D&D
>think I'd be good at it, both as a DM or just a player as I have experience writing and spent pretty much my entire life creating little worlds in my notebooks
>work 40 hours a week and my schedule is never the same from week to week

Man I want to play D&D or anything similar so bad. I've tried 3 times but scheduling issues always rear their ugly heads.

I think making maps for towns and special zones is fine, also if you want a dungeon with some sort of unique layout it's a good ideal to make a couple rough sketches beforehand

I don't think you have to have maps prepared for every encounter, thats a waste of time imo

I could do really long greentexts but it was basically a non-serious campaign with a character interaction focus where all the players got super invested and were constantly having a good time even off-session
It was just the kind of perfect culmination of the group all getting along with each other without a lick of drama, and it was online which made it even more miraculous that it turned out that way

It was also a semi-generic fantasy setting where the PCs' goal was initially to find legendary ancient dragon-slaying weapons, which turned out to actually have been giant robots all along
And then things escalated from there until there were no limits, including a session where they literally played Everybody is John as an NPC, another where they invaded a castle that was a transforming mech and shed its rooms while they were inside it, another where they fought Kek (the god), and so on, with the wacky tone accepted and perpetuated by the group the whole way through

Now other campaigns tend to come off as too serious with players that hate fun in comparison, and everyone from that group pretty much immediately got jobs or other schedule-fillers the second it ended
I still see my players mentioning it on Veeky Forums every now and then though, and it always makes me smile

You don't need maps for every encounter, but you need environment that can be interacted with or secondary objectives to keep it interesting.

I've got a player that'll tell one of the other players if he needs to leave early or something, but not me when I'm running the damn thing. For what goddamn purpose

I was talking more about the sense of disconnect, since the quality of the maps can vary quite a lot and it might come across as either lazy or just out of place, so in order to not lose the disconnect; just lower the quality to the same level of all your maps

I agree

5e
>one of my players ALWAYS A L W A Y S makes a half elf rogue, every single campaign i've run he's been there in with his dagger and crossbow but each with different backgrounds and goals. they are always varied enough to each stand out.
>this campaign i decide to make a QT 3.14 bookish drow druid for him
>he'd love it, i know his taste.
>give her detailed history and a plot with branching quests
>go all out for my players
>my campaigns often end in character marriages so i have that all planned too
>shut up, it's not weird.

>have it all planned
>player comes in
>"HEY user THIS TIME I THOUGHT I MIGHT TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT, I'M GOING TO BE A DRAGONBORN MONK"

FUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOU DUUUUDE
(however i'm glad he is branching out to other classes, it will help make him a better player.. it still doesn't take away from the fact THAT MY PLANS ARE RUINED)

this

"My character basically has their entire life figured out and no real motivation to do dangerous things. In fact, they hate doing dangerous things and will complain consistently when dangerous things are done."
[two months later]
"I'm starting to feel like my character doesn't have a reason to stay with the party."

Rebuild her slightly as a QT 3.14 bookish Dragonborn druid that works at the local monastery.

he doesn't like how dragonborn look, but loves their stats

he's currently questing for a spell or item that will turn him into a half-elf
alternatively, he gets killed in combat and the priest uses reincarnate.

>be perma-GM for friends
>work super hard on opening of new campaign segment
>one player shows up late
>five minutes into game: "I gotta leave for like 45 minutes"
>why
>"it doesn't matter"
>other players/friends call him out
>he goes to have sex with girl on a backstreet
>is gone for an entire hour
>we bombard his phone with Hitler/Jesus/hentai the entire time he's gone
I didn't know what else to say.

>shipping

...

it's fun user!

Not that user, but I have a female player who has been nagging at me the entire time that I do not include romance in my games for players.

She is gf of another player...

>but loves their stats
cancer

>Not having some light shipping in the game
It is great when done right and players accept it or indulge themselves in it
Just don't ERP

No it isn't, it's sappy.

>player asks me if i can gm a d&d campaign
>usually i gm gurps, whfr or brp stuff
>i say "why not? Nostaglia tiem!"
>present idea about setting, mood, charcter archetypes, consented manuals
>players are ok with all of above
>working really hard to wordbuild
>day of character creation, all the player are excited
>player joe says "i want to play a tiefling"
>puzzled i ask "why do you want to play a tieflig if we concurred that this is an only humans + elf campaign?"
>discussion.jpg
>"very well than i play the elf!"
>another player protests since he already had dibs on the elf
>more_discussion.jpg
>"ok than i am a c/n rougue"
>that guy feels intensifies
>discuss even more about setting a common moral between party members
>"reee i don't like how you gm!"
Now i remenber why i had to drop d&d in the past

>Session 0
>mainly human + elf game
>anybody have a problem with this?
>"nope user im cool with it"
>onto character creation
>i wanna be a tiefling
Throw a brick at him for wanting to play the edgiest race ever
or better yet ask him if he can give you a good reason how he was even born or has lived if every fucking god in existance most likely hates tieflings and would sick their worshipers on them
(that might just cause him to go with the "wolves raised me after my parents where killed" thing though at that point throw 2 bricks at him)

>Be GM for same group for long time, just over 6 years.
>Campaigns have come and gone, but the group stays.
>Have recurring joke cameo character, a gnome sorcerer who mostly just shows up, casts a few spells, and then leaves.
>Not a big deal, just silly randomness.
>Everyone on the table loves him, usually start chanting his name when he makes an appearance.
>Except for one guy, let's call him "Dave".
>Dave hates our gnome.
>Just shuts down whenever he appears.
>Sometimes spergs out when it happens. Embarrassing all around when that occurs.
>Won't leave the group, insists that everyone else stop their fun.
>Don't want to kick him because he's a longstanding friend.

Yeah! I'm that guy you know. What a total coincidence meeting up like this.

Tee hee hee, maccaroni maccaroni!