Magic Story: We Waz Walkers Edition

Cant wait for

Theros 2: Electric boogaloo lets print some actual enchantment matters card edition.

>hazoret cuts off her own fucking arm
>random literally who bitchslaps scorpion god with rhonas's staff

pretty neat

Gideon is a white german latin mediteranean african 30-50 year old man.
Yes.

>Neheb is already dead
>by the hand Samut the "Speedster"

IM BEYOND MAD

You had to start the thread with your shitty bait OP? Couldn't wait? Reeks of autism.

It was more interesting finding out that Neheb was long eternalized.

If so then that's the 2nd hint at a new Theros block that we've gotten from the Amonkhet storyline, 1st one being about that god forseeing Gids death. At first I thought it was just wishfull waifu thinking but if this was Theros then Theros 2: Nyx Heist Movie is looking more likely. For whatever reason Gids remorse will bring him back to Theros and he'll end up trying to free Elspeth from Nyx, maybe trading his own life for hers or some such. Would be kinda sad if it happens cause I actually liked Gideon, when he was written well, as the old soldier trying to teach this new platoon of his. Still, if they write it well I would accept it. Never really had any connection with Elspeth though, wasn't really following the lore back then.

Hapetra not being the planeswalker was such a whiff by Creative. She's a better written character and her planeswalker design would be way more interesting than another shitty R/G walker.

Dack Fayden is already on Theros entering the underworld, that seems like the most obvious way for Elspeth to escape. It really wouldn't make sense for Gideon to be involved in that plot unless Ajani got him and the rest of the Gatewatch to come to Theros to grab her because they don't know each other. Ajani would be the connection.

Still, next week is when we actually get to see the bit we're all here for- the great BTFOing of the jacetice league.

If anyone but Dack and/or Elspeth gets Elspeth out of the underworld I'll be so mad.

This story makes me want to puke.

It's confirmed, the picture in the story is a zoom in of this card

Aren't you supposed to spark in intense pain or something? Why did she randomly planeswalk?

The groundwork was also laid down pretty well. The last magic sotyr has a random acolyte using the white god arrows

Intense anything, really

>Ajani would be the connection.
Well, it would make sense that we're going to see a lot more of Ajani in coming blocks since he was the one preaching caution and the rest was like "sure that sound like a sound plan, why don't you go ahead up to the party, we'll be right along" and then called him a scaredy cat behind his back and walked of to Bolas's wrecking party anyways. There should be a lot of ''I told you so" from him in coming storylines. Wouldn't be surprised if he's the one who'll eventually track them all down and bring the band back together again after Bolas wrecked their shit.
As one who has, like I said, no connection with Elspeth, why? Don't know much about Dack's character either to be honest.

Teferi is dead and not part of the shitty Gayewatch.
Teferi is pure.

Nice catch. So Theros 2 confirmed. Howmany blocks away do you think it'll be?

Teferi is just missing, at the moment.

Time spiral ends with him being a mortal, but he is still a Tolarian student, so technically ageless

I think all walkers spontaneously walk when they immediately spark

>Teferi is dead
I thought he just lost his spark sealing the rift and saving Shiv. Is he dead?

>Still, if they write it well I would accept it.
You won't be accepting it then.

When we last so Dack he was entering Theros' underworld. If Elspeth was getting out, it would make zero sense for him to not be somehow involved.

Praise be to Bolas

Because the multiverse decided it needed more diversity

>Teferi is pure.
Re-reading Timespiral books now, forgot how much of an arrogant sassy prick he actually was. Still cool though.

Oh shit. Good. Maybe he will pull some reignited BS like Ob.

He's pure because he hasn't been infected by the cancer that is the current story writing team.

I liked the comics, and the comic ends with Dack going into the underworld to steal Erebos' treasure which is implied to be Elspeth.
They're two pretty powerful characters with their own character arcs, leaving the underworld of her own volition is mandatory for Elspeth, Dack needs a straight man to play off his funny man.

>You won't be accepting it then.
Yeah, you're probably right. Still, there's a lot of variance in the quality of the stories, really depends on who's writing. If KT would write it Gids would probably be turned into a women before being mindraped by Erebos or something.

Wizards should scrap the Gatewatch and turn the main story into Dack and Elspeth buddy-copping their way around the multiverse.

She kills the Scorpion god
She kills Nehev
She has easy control over plains walking
Indicated she will head to Theros

She's going to kill Heliod isn't she

>all the people saying that the woman at the end of the last story would be someone important

bunch of idiots

>Wizards should scrap the Gatewatch
I really never had any problem with the concept of the Gatewatch. I do have a problem with wizards failing to do it right. Do they even have professional writers setting this shit up? It looks like it's just the wizards office staff rotating to write the stories. Some of them have talent and you get something good sometimes but it's all horribly inconsistent. If they really wanna work up to an Avengers style movie or game or some shit (which is a rumor I keep hearing) wouldn't it make sense to have it set up solid, with consistent good writing?

>Mary sue black uggo whom'st has a misspelled Samus Aran name is going to be the most important character in Magic and will defeat Bolas easily
Please make it stop

It's seriously like a fan fiction written by the staff of Kotaku

As long as they don't print 100 Dacks and Elspeths.
That'd be great, fuck even them shopping is an adventure thanks to Dacks powers, but with Elspeth around he can actually do something about it.
I'd prefer if the Gatewatch was still around, but there are different groups that we also follow, one group of the same badly written characters gets boring real fast.

FUCK YEAH SAMUT

>
>Wizards should scrap the Gatewatch and turn the main story into Dack and Elspeth buddy-copping their way around the multiverse.

>Dack Fayden, greatest thief in the multiverse
>But now he is after his most valuable treasure yet
>He's stolen gold, artifacts and power, but can he steal...
>Her heart?

This is exactly what I want from my collectible cardboard-based fiction.

I want each block to be a shitty genre story, one shitty romcom, one shitty musical and a shitty drama.
Imagine the possibilities, no more just shitty action movies, just shitty romances.

Liliana and Jace musical on Innistrad would have been a hell of a lot more entertaining than le'mrakul that's for sure.

>OP using story as an excuse to shitpost

Take your kang memes and fuck off

Anyway, I like how we're getting the rare example of a positive moment igniting a spark instead of tragedy. It's been surprisingly enthralling to see Samut's struggle in the face of Bolas, in no small part due to the Gatewatch going on the back-burner for a bit. I think they're finally getting a feel for the balance they need to strike to make the Gatewatch relevant while letting the setting breathe.

probably after dominaria

I'd pay good money for a political drama series following Jace and the guild leaders on Ravnica, or a SoL/romance involving guild lackeys meeting and befriending one another.

But this is LITERALLY a case of "We Wuz Kangz."

I never got why people disliked the SOI and EM storyline. Sure, Nahiri way overreacted but still, the revenge was done well. Not because of Emmy but because she forced Sorin to destroy his beloved creation and in doing so let Emmy lose on his beloved home. Nahiri is a cunt sure but I can't help but like a got revenge story.

Also, Tamiyo is still best girl.

>probably after dominaria
Which will be after what, Ixalan?

Except it's not, because there's actual deception going on. It's not stealing from other cultures or identities, it's reclaiming one's lost, true history in defiance of a godly conqueror who's manipulated them for their entire lives. Their gods are dead or broken, their home is destroyed, and they're scattered to the winds. But they're alive, and they know the truth. If anything, this is the inverse of Kangs.

>and will defeat Bolas
Won't happen

Hated all the Samut parts. Love all the rest: Hazoret cutting her arm, the survivors working together, killing pic related.

At first I thought she was in Esper, but Theros made more sense, also a bit of an asspull of returning right away from her first planeswalk.... Welp, I guess she's a real speedster.

All in all, I liked HOU a lot, it has some pretty brutal parts that makes them more of an adult story rather than a kids tv show.
>inb4 edgy

Man, fucking Americans and their race wars is just dumb,"WE NEED MORE BLACKS CUZ RIOTS AND KILLING AND ANGRY BLACKS IN BLOGS!!!1!!1". As someone from Latin America aka drug continent, I can't wait how natives will be represented in Ixalan. Not because of inaccuracy (becaUse it's a fucking fantasy), but because of the shit show/stupidity it'll create among the community and how WotC will still push tokenism. I imagine I'm not the only not-American that thinks all this "diversity" crap is funny.

There won't be any Latinos except for a planeswalker. Just like Kaladesh and curries.

It seems every random side character is better written than the one they actually focused on.
Hapatra, Samut's dead aven friend, fuck the random dead people from last week's story.
Why they can't put make the one that's supposedly IMPORTANT interesting is ridiculous

...I wouldn't mine 100 Elspeths...

Any kind of hugely emotional moment can do it.
Nearly dying tends to be common due to most worlds being places where people die a lot, but anything with that level of emotional impact also works.

There will be more niggers than latinos, that's the only color murrikan sjws care about.

He's not even missing.
He's just dicking around on Dominaria, not growing old.

What shitshow? Nobody outside of lore threads on Veeky Forums cares negatively about what race a character is.

A U T I S M
U
T
I
S
M

So you can spark while orgasming, theoretically?

This.
It's not like the conquistador are evil vampires and the natives are guarding a golden city or anything... because that's the actual story, but with dinosaurs.

What's the deal with american minorities NEEDING to be represented again?

See OP image, the fact that a card company needs a black consultant is just funny and stupid. At least for me.

>I imagine I'm not the only not-American that thinks all this "diversity" crap is funny.
I actually don't think it's funny any longer cause the crap is starting to spill over to the rest of the world. People who only a decade ago where just normal productive members of society are now reading this shit on the internets and are like "hey, yeah we should al get special treatment cause our ancestors did horrible shit to eachother and even though neither you or me had any power over those events you should now apologize to me" Fuck you americunts.

But hey, I guess it was to be expected. It's not like they send the best and brightest to the colonies so not much can be expected of the decedants.

Except for the tens of thousands of social justice crusaders bitching about white washing and "muh diversity."

Because it makes logical sense that not all planeswalkers would be white, so some of them would need to be minorities? That reasoning makes sense to me.

I hope they do more non-human walkers at some point but like a planeswalker being black isn't that big of a deal. Did Narset get people upset?

>*Loud Retching*

>You like something I don't like so autism
This meme is getting old

Yes, but that's for being an autist, not for being asian.

It doesn't read as stupid to me. If they don't know how to write a character, or if they want to write a character that appeals to certain people for marketing purposes, asking for advice makes sense. If I was writing a girl character and didn't know what I was doing I'd probably run a few of my ideas pass a girl.

I'd be surprised if that was the first time they've used a consultant. I'm sure they asked people about Asian and Indian culture for Tarkir and Khaladesh blocks. It's covering all your bases. Ensuring you're not accidentally offending a group of people and that your inspired portrayal makes sense.

I'm pretty sure the only reason that they said they had a consultant this time is because even they know it's garbage.

Except it's fucking fantasy you poltard mong

I dont thinks it pain as much as it is intense emotions, although trauma seems to be the usual method. Honestly It wouldnt make as much sense for Samut to not spark from Physical injury when she was raised by a warrior culture as she was.

Her spark igniting was more like Narset finding out the truth of Tarkir, only in Samut's case it was finally having her belief/doubt/faith vindicated in a way that no one else could. Hazoret literally gave her motherfukin title.

Shoehorned minorities are already shit. Samut and the ghost girl aren't from native black planes. The fact that she's a Mary Sue is insulting to people that enjoy good writing without political agendas.

Xenagos ignited his spark by having too much fun partying.
Nixilis' spark was ignited by pure despair.

If you consider Mediterraneans white, yes.

Precisely.

only if orgasming is hugely emotional for you, like you've built it up into a foundation of your identity or something. which basically means you'd have to be a neckbeard incel who never thought he'd touch a woman, or you'd need to be raped and orgasming unwillingly or something. it'd be the context of the orgasm that would be important, not the orgasm itself

What is a "native black plane"?

They're poorly written but I don't think you can blame that on their race. It's shitty writing. In this very thread there are people who said they wouldn't mind Hapatra being a planeswalker and recurring character, and she's just as black as Kaya and Samut.

Egyptians aren't black, they were mortal enemies with their black neighbors to the south (Nubia). Fantasty!Egypt should not be represented by a black woman but by an Egyptian.

That thumbnail looks like some contortionist with white shoes.

There shouldn't be snake people and bird people then either right? Considering there were no snake people and bird people in Egypt.

The Egyptians believed that there were snake and bird people, and that they were the allies of Egypt. Including their mythological figures is a no-brainer.

But including people a shade too dark is too much for you?

As the representative of a culture they A) don't belong to and B) fought bloody wars against? Yes.

Isn't diversity supposed to be a good thing? Why are you trying to erase Egyptian history and the Egyptian people? Make Nubians the representatives of a plane that's modeled after African myths and let Egypt have Egyptians.

Egypt themepark plane should have egyptians and fantastical creatures connected to egyptian mythologies, not niggers. I'm very sorry if that's so hard to understand for your pea sized brain.

Literally this is what I meant by "native black plane"

Fuck you Nigger, I didn't make up the shit that "consultant" said. This shit is blatant pandering, The fact that she had such good control over her walker powers and she looks like a fucking man shows it. I get being a good fighter, they are all well trained. My problem is that she is a Manish looking women that exist to check boxes.

Look at Overwatch's Pharah for example from a game that does pander. She's strong, sexy, in charge, and feminine. On top of that she's Egyptian, I know Egyptian people and I find Egyptian women very attractive. Samut is black for the sake of black, and Manish, cause they basically made a man with her character.

All not!spaniards will be 100% white aryans and all natives will be 100% african black.

It's not Egypt, it's a fantasy world based on Egypt. Who gives a fuck that it's not completely accurate?
If they made a set where it was nothing but Asians in togas watching people kill each other in colosseums, unaware that an orc general is moving in on them with trained baloth mounts, will that be a problem?