The Bureau: Advanced Anti-Memetics

Well, well, well.Why hello there, and welcome to the Bureau. How are you doin this fine evening? I do so hope you are doing well! But enough with that! Let us proceed with the meet and greet, shall we?

Bump.

>Bureau: Advanced Anti-Memetics
BAAM?

~Yes~.

I'm a small guy?

WHY IS SHE NOT WEAR HAJAB!!

SHE MUST COVER HER BREASTS AND BUTTOCKS OR ELSE MY GOAT WILL GET MAD!!

doorway to hell?
doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

you know I'm born to lose
and gamblin's for fools,
THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS!
THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS!

You will do just ~fine~ darling. Now please come be a dear and come on down to my lab for a.......*treat*

As for you, you get to be my new Guinea pig.

Bump.

HAHAHA
KNOWLEDGE

Ah, so you must be the local Daemonologist! Arnie told me a lot about you......

I LOVE MY JOB

FEDERAL AGENT!! GET ON THE GR-

Oh. Sorry, eggheads, looks like I had some bad intel. Your clearance checks out, carry on.

~I do too~. Perhaps we can share our 'methods', sometime?

Who are you if I may so inquire? I didn't expect one of you to come busting down my door.

Doctor, you have to help us! Reality is collapsing all around us! Powerful, invasive ideas have strangled the minds of today's youth and corrupted those in power! ONLY YOU CAN STOP IT!

'Invasive Ideas'? Sounds like something East Branch or Central would have on their plate. What more can you tell me about these 'Invasive Ideas'?

Hostile, Independent Thoughtforms. Ideas so powerful, they think they're alive.

Ya know, what ever this is, its above my pay grade.

... Or is it below my pay grade? Regardless, this isn't what I'm paid for, it'd be best if you forgot about this whole thing. That's what I'm going to do.

The Bureau looks a lot different from when I first started...

Hmm, Class 5 aggresive metastasized meme-complexes. Certainly nothing that breaks the scales, but definitely bad enough to warrant protective measures. I shall inform Delta Team of this.

Ah, don't be like That! Sure, you may just be a mass of flesh and bone tissue that wouldn't even be a threat to even the *least* of the things we deal with on a daily basis, but you can still try to help.

Oh? Are you a past agent? I don't really remember you.

Bump.

This is some grade-A faggoty RP. What the fuck is wrong with you, OP?

Hmm, seems like a small child has entered this facility. We may need to 'anally' probe him to lovate the source of his discomfort. Somebody bring me my tools!

Late night Bump.

>I rolled a 20
>Players shit their pants and start yelling like apes
>I cut off the dragons head with my fingernails
>Fat asshole GM starts crying that I ruined his campaign
>Players gang up on him and throw him out the window
>I kiss the cute girl at my table, she instantly marries me
>Get called by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln, saying I should pick up my Nobel peace prize tomorrow, and be there at 7PM for my inauguration as god-emperor of the universe
>Tell him to shut up and hang up on him, as my Players worship me as the second coming as Christ