Ok Veeky Forums this thing was on my front porch this morning. It makes this really cute *rawk* noise and breathes fire (sort of, more like a bunch of sparks and some smoke). Should i feed it? Hell, should i let it in the house?
Is it gonna try to eat my cat?
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>Is it gonna try to eat my cat?
Many beasts are known to become friends if raised together, so you might be fine. I'd be more concerned about taking advantage of its inevitable tendency to kidnap virgins and princesses. That thing's going to be the ultimate chick magnet someday.
Really? That might not be the worst thing, but how big are we actually talking here, like bigger than my car kinda big? I have an old subaru legacy for reference. Also, what does it eat, mostly meat?
Treat it as a large dog for the purpose of feeding. It will grow past that eventually but by then its wings should be working and it will start supplementing its diet by hunting pigeons, foxes and the occasional hobo.
We do have a lot of hobos here.
Take it to the cleric.
OP here, i let it in not too long ago. It's really curious about my place. Cat seems a bit wary of it right now, but she isnt being territorial yet.
This might not be too bad.
Oh, i've heard something about hoarding, i think, does that just mean it is going to need a pile of coins or something to sleep on? Not quite sure how that works.
Feed it popcorn.
What do you plan on naming it OP?
oooo... bad call. you will never get rid of it now.
it will totally eat your cat.
shoulda left it alone. if you are lucky its mother won't come looking for it. Ever see a mama bear protect its cubs? same thing.
not for long.
Try going to a strip club. Sounds crazy, I know, but people will think it's interesting and throw money at it. Great way for it to start it's hoard
Just give it a quarter. Make sure to hand it over slowly so it realizes it's money. The thing will sleep on top of it, and then try to find quarters where it can.
If it keeps showing up, and starts bringing friends, I'd keep the cat inside until they leave.
That's a tangerine dragon. Stick it in the juicer and you'll have 1oz of the finest orange juice you'll ever taste.
hey, OP my father raised little guys like these before, just be careful because they grow big if you live somewhere that doesn't have access to woodlands or large areas of plains i'm afraid it'd probably be best to have him adopted by a registered charity
suburban areas are pushing it i'd say you'd be more than likely to b dealing with angry neighbours when it goes charging through their fence for the nTH time
As an update, it's curiousity led it to my change jar. Knocked it off the counter and is sleeping in the pile of change. It and the cat are getting along surprisingly well, the cat was even trying to play some earlier.
Not sure about a name though. I may take suggestions in a bit.
Ah, luckily i have a state/national forest close by, so the neighbors shouldnt be a problem for a little while. I hope.
Start taking down the curtains now, before they ignite
Oh thank god a thread relevant to my concerns. I found this (these?) thing(s) on a hike yesterday morning after noticing a bunch of bones and sticks and leaf litter piled up by a stream. At first I figured it was maybe a gator nest, but we never get gators this far up the coast since winters are too cold. Well, my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to dig around until I found this big ass egg. We're talking ostrich sized, but leathery like a snake's egg. My first instinct was to cover that shit back up and make tracks but the damn thing ended up hatching before I could. I have no idea what the fuck this thing is, but I think it imprinted on me; wouldn't stop following me and started screeching when it lagged behind. I know it's stupid, but I ended up taking it home with me since I didn't want mom to find it (and me). How do I take care of it? What the fuck even IS it? I at least know it's carnivorous since it snatched a ton of bugs and a rodent when it followed me, should I start stockpiling feeders for it? Also I went back to the spot I found it this morning and the nest and surrounding area was completely trashed. We're talking trees knocked down and ripped apart kind of trashed. Should I maybe avoid that spot from now on?
I can definitely agree in staying the hell away from wherever you found it, sounds like mama might be a little bit of trouble. Maybe check pet stores close by for feeder mice?
That there my friend is a willowing greenback hydra. Unique in that its born with multiple heads instead of the usual one or two in most hydra species.
As for food, the little shit will get big quick. If you have a nearby lake or river, I suggeet taking him/her there to catch fish and get a taste for it so it doesn't tear up your neighborhood for food.
It's odd you found only one egg, either it was washed away from the next, or you stole it from a predator, which will explain the destruction in the spot you found it in.
You should consult your local Beast handler or arch mate for proper care. It did imprint on you and your very much stuck with that animal, best learn how to handle and train it right. Good luck user
>this is how user dies
just a tip for hydra user
they do not make good lap-dogs
>Should i feed it? Hell, should i let it in the house?
No & No. Garden Dragons (Orbiculina Draconis) is under protection of P.E.D.O. Act (Phantastical Entities Defend Ordenance).
>Is it gonna try to eat my cat?
Nah, maybe roastie him a little if your cat is a douche.
I know a few sites that sell frozen feeders since I had a girlfriend that owned a snake some years back. Will avoid that spot from now on.
Fish would be better huh? Well scratch the whole feeder rodent thing then. Would explain why it won't stop looking at my fish tank. By the way, are these guys venomous perchance? I noticed that when one of the heads grabbed that mouse the other day it simply held on and gnawed the back end while the others subdued it. I'm asking since that head seems to like gnawing on my pants leg and I'd really rather not find out the hard way if it goes and nips me by mistake.
Only mildly venomous. If that head does bite wherever it bit will get slightly numb for a couple hours. If you don't go numb, you will break out in hives. Get an Epipen just in case.
You need to show it that biting with that head is a no-no. If your confident, give it a firm bap in its snout. Otherwise, hold the mouth shut next time and count to 10 before letting go. Repeat until it stops nibbling.
Look, I'm not gonna waste time describing how I got this little guy, so you can't judge me for keeping him, but he keeps demanding a race war and I don't know how to calm him down other than distracting him for awhile. What can I do to get his temper controlled.
Just send him to /pol/. It won't calm him down but he'll be too busy arguing to do actually anything.
bump
Then he'll just take what he learns from /pol/ and spread it around online.
I have parental blocks on the internet for a reason.
OP here, little goober has been sleeping on the pile of coins for a few hours now, seems quite content where it is. Still havent decided on a name, but that can wait if it needs to.
At least it seems like my type of issue isnt as uncommon as i thought it was. Thanks for the help so far, anons!
I'm surprised he's settled for the quarters. If won't be long until he starts hunting for things with economic value. Some dragons adhere strongly to a gold standard, but if you're lucky his instincts might drift towards bimetallism.
Ok Veeky Forums this thing was on my front porch this morning. It makes this really loud *RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWK* noise and does flips (sort of, more like a bunch of rad aerial assault). Should i wrestle it? Hell, should i let it in the house?
Is it gonna try to eat my mustache?
It was a jar of silver dollars, the old ones, and randon cool coins from trips ive taken. Should i get the couple ounces of silver out of my safe deposit box to give it? How long until it starts searching for its own horde?
Well in that case you're in luck.
I'd reserve any stored silver for special occasions. A gift, as it were. Commemorating the anniversary of your meeting, for example.
He ought to start searching for his own hoard fairly soon. I'd give it two weeks at the most. Given, he might not be the best at deterring what things are actually valuable. There'll be a learning phase where he'll bring home anything shiny and metal. It's up to you to teach him what things are valuable and what things are junk.
I suggest disposing of the things that get classified as junk very discretely. It'll be a while before he really understands the concept of ownership.
You're going to need to set up a wrestling ring and a few toy opponents for him ASAP, or he's going to suplex your mushrooms.
Ok Veeky Forums, I found this thing on my front lawn and I can't get it to leave, I've sprayed it with water a few times but it just moans and makes "mawwwwmmm" noises over and over again and occasionally farts... What can I do!?
Excellent to know! I'll be sure to save it for then and invest in some more for later. And if it will start hording in a couple weeks, it will have fun in the basement for a while.
Are there any books i should look up for finer points of care?
Have you tried throwing a flashlight and seeing if he runs after it?
God forbid he figures out how to hoard stocks.
I love these little guys but they sure do scream a lot when they get fussy. How can I get them to quiet down?
From what i heard, organic time-release fertilizer mixed with unrefined maple sap. Odd, yeah, but it works for a couple days at a time.
Archmage Milan's "How to Raise the Perfect Dragon" is good, if a bit controversial. Some say he's a hack, but eh, it's generally good advice.
You really ought to pick up a Draconic Health Primer from your local vet. Ticks aren't an issue, but Blightworms can cause your dragon to shed scales at a dangerous rate.
>God forbid he figures how to hoard sticks.
Shadowrun.jpg
Oh god, he ate the whole thing!
Well, in that case, i'll head to the vet tomorrow, maybe the bookstore as well.
Also, from the little research i've been able to do, i think it's a girl. Like 75% sure. Starting a list of names now.
HA HA, NOW YOU GOTTA KEEP HIM!
Huh. I'm willing to give anything a shot. I think they've learned that I can't hear them as well when I put on earmuffs and they scream louder because of it.
Kill it.
My wife deals with plants quite a lot, said that works for quite a few of them, Quite nutrient dense, so it takes a good bit of effort to digest. Just be sure to water well the day after or their pots will start to stink, seriously nuclear waste biproducts that would gag a maggot IMO.
KILL IT.
it's like you guys dont even adventure
Why are you people making my job difficult? These things are like the opposite of pets. They EAT pets. And people. By Pelor, I'm surrounded by idiots.
His dadmom was trying to kill the little guy because one of his eye stalks wasn't as long as he thought it should be! I felt so bad for the little guy, what else was I supposed to do?
Besides, we've got a stray cat problem where I'm from, so he's well fed. I just wish he stopped encouraging me to kill people who didn't look like me, or enslave kids. But I'm sure I can teach him proper manners with enough time.
I like to imagine they sound like the puppies from Star vs.
>killing something that considers you its mother and trusts you implicitly
Fuckin' A user, I'm not that cold. Besides, after he other user told me the species I decided to do a little research and found that adult greenbacks tend to be mainly piscivores with the occasional woodland critter or deer as an odd treat. There's a pair of rivers near where I live, one of which is within walking distance so I'm not exactly starved for hunting ground options to once it gets too big for me to just buy feeders or fish from the market. Ive got a nice chunk of money set aside so for the time being I think I may set up one of those koi ponds in my backyard and fill it with feeder fish and snails to let it get accustomed to swimming and hunting underwater. With any luck some frogs'll start coming around as well to add some variety in its diet.
Well then come on user, don't be afraid to share.
These threads are my favorite please don't die.
Make sure the little buggers get enough sunlight and rainwater.
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Is that the show where the main girl keeps getting cucked?
Never, ever cut a deal with an adorable baby dragon. Kick that shit to the curb, omae.
My man, do I have an adventure for you.
archived.moe
archived.moe
>Baby Bestiary
I never knew I needed this in my life. Anyone got a pdf?
Seconded
need Baby Bestiary, did not know I need but do
kinda, but not really, as she and Marco are both 14 and each have a crush, but they do like one another a whole lot.
Plus Star didn't really realize she had a crush on Marco until after she had hooked him up with his crush
This is solid advice, ensure your house is free of flammable objects.
Houses ARE flammable objects, what do I do?
Asbestos pacifier.
OP update again, she seems happy here so far. Spent part of the night moving her hoard of change under the couch. Also drug a stuffed animal under there and was sleeping on it.
Still working on a name, not quite sure what suits her yet.
How about Penelope?
I'll add it to the short list i have so far.
Sahsa, Suzie, Emerald, Penelope, Chloe
Maybe make her a hoard house? She will be disturbed under the couch
Well, silly me, i thought she would have left the pile there for a day or two. A hoard box or something very similar moved way up my project list just now.
Would one of those bigass dog beds in a big cardboard box from a stove or a fridge be a good temporary one? I can get those easier right now than i can wood pallets.
Should be ok for short term. Cardboard is super flammable after all. I would suggest some sort metal box
Put it in a biscuit tin!
That would be super cute
Fair point, fire resistance is the biggest problem i'm going to be dealing with then. I guess I'll have to borrow a welder and buy some steel plates now. I guess i can just find something else for bedding until then.
Yeah, to an almost fetishistic degree.
The kicker is the creator and show-runner is a woman and by her own admission the MC is her self-insert, so what does it say about her that she keeps putting her self-insert in situations where she gets humilliated, embarrassed, distressed and/or cucked?
This user has it right. Drop it in a biscuit tin for now, and start looking for old refrigerators/cargo vans in junkyards for when it gets bigger.
Is that a behyounger?
Lots of used car lots around here and the occasional auction from a closing business. Sometimes you find the odd large UHaul truck, definitely gives me things to plan for.
>implying an imprinted hydra will attack you
>especially a greenback
Yeah fish are a good bet, especially while it's young. Hydras tend to live in marshland so fish are a big part of their diet, especially since it's a comparatively small species.
As for venom, that species of hydra has pretty weak venom, but you definitely want to trin it not to bite now, while that's easy to do.
So there's a show on tv right now that deals with female cucking, and little kids watch it? Is that what you guys are saying?
>carlos.jpg
member?
i member
cute monsters thread?!
You are the first person to make such a pun ever.
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This is my sky cat. His name is Tony. Tony eats rats and small vermin
There's a Disney live action show running right now that's basically about white male cucking, so I guess Disney thought there was a demographic to exploit.
Found this guy on the street. Should I take him home?
I love this thread
I've been having quite possible the worst day in my life and this thread has made me feel a lot better.
Aw, sorry to hear that user. Cute monsters make everything better.
i would love to have an owl-griffon
Makes me wonder if there are other Griffin subspecies, like Pidgeon Griffons or Duck Griffons. Or is it just birds of prey?
yes
Just the other day I saw someone post a grid of different griffins... ostriches and toucans and all sort. I don't think I saved it, though.
wait wtf, it ate my link
imgur.com
Hey, Chimera breeder here.
Raising a monstrous creature is a hugely dangerous, but rewarding task. If you're unfamiliar with what species, breed, or plane of existence your little critter belongs to, be sure to visit your local library wizard.
There's tons of advice online, but be careful where you get your information. Wizards will generally always have what you need to identify what you have, and give you solid advice on what is the best course for caring for them.
I personally started breeding Chimeras about ten years ago. Generally, after the first year or so, it's good to arrange adoptions so the Chimeras can get used to their new owners before their poison starts to properly develop. They're very protective of their masters, but don't really pick one until a couple of years past birth.
Also, remember, while it may be the cheaper route to feed your new little critter the local wildlife or stray cats, they may develop diseases or pick up parasites - and that's one hell of a veterinarian bill from your local Wizard. Easily a fistful of gems and a dangerous quest's worth of value when you could've just bought a bag of live crickets, or feeder goats.
>Hey, Chimera breeder here.
You son of a bitch! I want a refund!
Oh no, that's not a Chimera at all! Your Mimic's just trying to figure out what it wants to be in life. It's a huge stereotype that they only adopt the appearance of inanimate objects, but their defensive instinct is to take the appearance of things that they're surrounded by. Do you live in an area with a lot of stray dogs, or neighbors with dogs? It can be troubling having an outdoor mimic, and this might explain this behavior.
I've heard of very confused adopters who get normal pets come back questioning why their parrot turned in to a cage slightly smaller than the one it was in, or why their hamster was missing and the cage had a new spinning wheel.