At attention, guardsmen! Form up, neat and orderly, or I'll shoot you myself!
It has come to my attentions, that one of you has been using the Regimental command Chimera for, "recreational" purposes. I.e. tying a steel cable around it, before venting the atmosphere from the hanger, and watching it soar out into the void.
Well I'm going to tell you all right now th-! ... .... .....
...Very well. I'll alert them immediately...
*AHEM!* ...It seems I'm going to have to cut this short, as I have just been informed, that our regiment is being rerouted from it's three day leave on the Casino filled paradise world of "Nevida", to instead deal with more pressing matters. As we have just received an urgent distress call, from a nearby ecclesiastical world known as "Dracolese". Apparently they are being overwhelmed by the forces of of the Arch-enemy, and all local forces are needed there ASAP!
So, while we await the transition into realspace. I am calling for a surprise field kit inspection, to help steel your determination!
As such, present arms and armour for a Field Kit Inspection!
>Welcome to ''Field Kit Inspection", home of the 'Unknown Regiment". Feel free to join in! Remember though, we tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, while greentexts for are used for describing a character's actions. D20s are for combat checks and d100s for other things you wish to roll, with higher being better.
Thomas Murphy
Hey who do I talk to if I want some weapons fixed?
Joshua Bennett
That's a true shame my honored commissar, yes. I'm your new...quartermaster, yes
Liam Torres
Third company is prepped, and ready to go on your orders, Commissar! We're ready to strike fear into the hearts of those foul traitors, with every shot we've got!
Isaac Green
That would be the Quarter Master, Gunnery Sergeant Rias Wyvern.
Once again, I'd suggest you talk to Gunnery Sergeant Rias Wyvern.
Jonathan Barnes
Hey, you. Strange inferior xenos specimen. I want new shuriken pistols mine are fucked. Or better I suppose.
Wyatt Green
Hell yeah, I've never rape a chaos asshole before
Ryder Morris
You! where is the male you promised Lag'!
Owen Jackson
Let me rephrase that, who do I talk to if I want some weapons fixed *discreetly*
Aiden Moore
Yes honored queen, follow me... >Spits on his visor Of course captain, I'll talk to her in a moment I have supplies that need my immediate attention, yes
Levi Morales
R-Rerou- ya gotta be shitting me, I've been savin' up for weeks for that! Can't the damn heretics wait 'till I've had a coupla hands of blackjack?
Carson Wright
Rolled 2 (1d100)
*roll to reflect spit and throw it back with telekinesis*
Joseph Sanders
>Matthias would see a tiny version of himself let out a sigh, through his mind's eye. >He bloody hated dealing with these damned Xeno infiltrators. But rules were rules, and he simply wasn't allowed to execute them. >...Yet... >He would nod his head.
I'm afraid I couldn't tell you, trooper.
Nicholas Hill
>she follows the merchant,but also oulls out a small plasma pistol,just in case
Cooper Hughes
Ah here we are, this meat, erm I mean human is Jeff >Points at a guy in rags He's from an underhive, yes. >Brings Jeff to Lag Here's your delivery yes
Noah Russell
He is clearly not a trooper. He's a fucking eldar! Are you blind captain?
Henry Johnson
*sighs visibly* Well I guess I will just take it up with the quarter master when I find them being the loyal trooper of the mon'kleigh imperium that I am.
Zachary Martin
>A small carrier bearing symbols of the Administratum would enter the hanger, drop off a small container in the center of the hanger then fly away >The shutters would roll up, revealing an adept of the Administratum, holding what appears to be a large metal briefcase Adept Viktor Morvos, here to provide emergency aid to the hive o- wait a fucking minute, this isn't a devastated hive city. Where the fuck am I?
Jose Price
>The Hospitaller would place a gentle hand upon the Sergeant's shoulder. >She really HAD spent the better part of a week and a half, by Van Kleez's side, after his recent injuries.
Doesn't seem like you're going to get to spend your life's savings anytime soon, Sergeant! You'll just have to suffice for the thrill of possibly throwing away your life, in the name of the God-Emperor, and Lord Commander Guilliman.
Samuel Rivera
An eldar! What a funny joke you are playing! As if an eldar could infiltrate a mon'kleigh regiment! What a hilarious joke!
Jace Gray
>she inspects this "jeff",searching for any sign of Illness or another "problem" and you are sure he will suffice?
Ryan Scott
Indeed you're not, Adept. You're on an Imperial strike crusier called the "Eagle's Fury".
>He would flash the man a quick salute.
Captain Matthias' Wyvern, commanding Officer of the Regiment's third Company.
Jace Miller
Hmmm yes, Jeff should meet all the standarts you listen yesterday...which were none, yes But I assure you honorable hrud, he's healthy and at the peak of human performance, some would say he's an...how od they say, ah yes astartes material, kept obidient by the shock collar, yes. Are you dissatisfied with your purchase honorable queen?
Justin Green
>He would plant a firm, painful boot, upon the trooper's own foot. Rubbing it in harshly, in order to shut him the hell up.
Best not let the Commissar hear you say that, trooper...
Easton Robinson
If you say so merchant,Lag' is not dissatisfied >she turns to Jeff Have you anything to say my prize?
Brody Perry
Your wish is my command
William Hughes
>he presents the same things as last time with few exceptions: >Flintlock pistol, gunpowder and ammunition >Worn robes and an old staff >Metal mask and two obsidian-black fake eyes (slightly too large) >old boots and his daily ration of Nutri-Slurry
Tyler Hughes
Wonderfully done captain! Also I'm pretty sure there is a sex slave thing going on round the corner that you should deal with.
Blake Young
>he has a slightly harrowed look in his eye >he shrugs her hand off Oh boy, what a holiday.
You've just been subjected to the worst c-clerical error of your life. Welcome to the regiment! Now I think about it, this is how we receive a surprising number of our recruits.
Jason Campbell
>the adept hastily returns the salute, before removing several scrolls from within the depths of his coat, along with several quills >The adept hastily scribbles several lines on blank spaces on the scrolls, using each of the 7 quills at least 3 times. Uh, ok, Captain... >the adept adjusts the goggles he's wearing slightly as he looks at the captain's nameplate Matthias, I need you to sign here, here, initials here, name in print here, sign this in duplicate, and this in triplicate, for my statement as to why I'm not currently assisting in the rebuilding of the Hive City Atrepolis.
Evan Allen
>leaving the sergeant alone, the sister walks up to the new Administratum agent
Hello there I am Illya, and its time for your mandatory medical check up please follow me this way
>she places her hand on his shoulder, and trys to herd him through the doors
Elijah Cox
>A hunched fugure comes near the captain Honorable captain, where can I find the gunnery sergeant you wanted me to see?
Julian Clark
Then follow Lag',Before the others get worried >she begins to drag the poor human to god knows where
Christian James
A medical check up you say... >the man procures even more scrolls and quills I need you to sign here, here, here and here, initials in triplicate here, one signed in cerulean blue, one in navy blue, and one in cerulean blue, full name in print here, a copy of your medical qualifications here, initials here, here, and here, and for you to fill out this form registering the completion of a routine health check up. In quadruplicate.
Michael Gray
>the sister smiles and forces him to walk towards the corridor
oh I will sweetie, but that's for after. now lets just do the exam then I will happily fill out all the paper work in the segmentum
Dylan Morgan
Ho-lee shit this regiment is as dumb as bricks...
Aaron Perry
>the man slowly puts the scrolls back into his coat That's fine I guess... it's only a medical inspection I suppose, what's the worst that could happen?
Bentley Clark
Then you m-make a fine addition.
>he shouts after him You shouldn't have said that!
Aaron Collins
Now now there, there's no reason to insult yourself like that. Also how the fuck are you still alive.
Anthony Hall
Huh
Lucas Cox
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>once they are in a nice secluded section of the ship, she begins the exam
>rolling for how through the exam is
Evan Sanders
Kleez I saved your life the other day, I want "not drugs" in return.
Tyler Robinson
To add, my negro, you are an Eldar. Why are you in a fucking guard regiment.
Aaron Adams
>Never one to sign anything without first reading it. He would spend several moments going over every line of it. >Should everything seem in order, he would sign off on the forms, before handing them to the Adept, alongside his quill.
It should be in order.
Owen Cook
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>rolling for how much PTSD he gets
Benjamin Williams
Again, I'm clearly not an eldar. Look at me.
Dominic Sanchez
>Illya's eyes would widen in horror at the sight, of herself. >I don't think I ever thought I'd have to say that... W-w-w-WHAT!?! WHO IN THE EMPEROR'S NAME ARE YOU!?
Isaac Peterson
My honored captain, you wanted me to see the gunnery sergeant,yes. Where can I find her?
Logan Jackson
Take off your helmet and show your knife ears. Go on.
Asher Johnson
Take out your heart and let me watch you grow a new one mon'kleigh. That's distinctly not a trait you should have.
Matthew Thompson
>the man looks at the two Hospitalliers confused ALEEEAEDHGHBLLLLLLF >he promptly falls to his knees, swatting at the air HOLY FUCK THESE COLOURS ARE FUCKING INSANE GUYS
Austin Foster
Rolled 36, 64 = 100 (2d100)
>looking at my double, I grin a very obviously bad grin
oh just helping about............ALPHA LEGION AWAY FOR THE EMPRAAAAAAAAAAAA
>vanishing in smoke
[roll for coolness and actualy vanishing....not in that order]
Gavin Parker
>I'd smash my hand into my chest, ripping out my heart and throwing it at your face Now... you have to... do as I asked... >I'd slump on the floor, """dead"""
David Rodriguez
What is this?
Easton Clark
I can provide a whole s-selection of not drugs, maybe drugs, definitely drugs, depends-who's-asking drugs... >he rummages in his coat and tosses the corsair a small pouch
>he looks at her with glazed over eyes It's fine, I'll wake up any minute now. Aaaany minute now.
Camden Richardson
>with a realy rather bad look, I run pretty fast through quite a few tunnels
"BYE BOLTER BITCH"
mad ness and autism in a very fun mix
Dylan Clark
CAPTAIN WATCH THIS CORPSE WATCH IT CLOSELY HE JUST TORE OUT HIS FUCKING HEART CAPTAIN
Carson Rivera
>Matthias would openly sigh at at the sheer stupidity of what had just happened.
She should be around here somewhere...
Well. That went about as poorly as one could expect medical care around here to go...
Hopefully, we'll be in orbit soon...
Brayden Reed
Of course my honored captain You can call me over the vox when you know where she's located, yes
Alexander Myers
>my heart would begin to regenerate, eventually all the fibres re-connecting, and a new heart would now be visible >After a few seconds it began pumping blood around my body
Jace Lee
CAPTAIN ARE YOU FUCKING PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO THIS HERESY?
Colton Morgan
Lag' has returned from her, "time" with Jeff,do not expect to see him again
Leo Rogers
>the man stares at this spectacle, mouth agape, before giggling hehehehe... This is way fucking rad dudes... I can SMELL.... SOUND
Connor Harris
>I would mouth to the man "Hydra Dominatus"
Parker Nelson
Lag' wonders what is going on,are you fighting each other?
Joshua Anderson
Fine, this is me without my fucking helmet.
Adrian Garcia
KNIFE EAR
Easton Roberts
My honorable biped are you well? You want to give me all your cash, yes
Liam Miller
>the elf nods and drags him into the bowles of the ship before anyone can notice
Jack Lee
*hastily reequips helmet* No idea what you are talking about. Also I recorded that shit with the heart. I'm gonna look this up on spacebook.
Brandon Allen
>crawls out of a massive weapons crate Who the hell nabbed two of my fucking plasma pistols. I'll castrate the man who did it.
Charles White
My... my cashy cash? >the man thinks for a moment, or potentially trips the fuck out, who knows Yeah, you can have all my cash >the man digs deep into his pockets, pulling out several empty ink bottles, and handing them to the robed creature, before sliding up close to the being What, like, really IS cash though, maaaan?
Matthew Allen
I recorded your knife ears My eyes double as cameras
Cooper Thompson
What are you doing Prince-Man?
Hunter Jackson
It was probably a "woman" Also I want new pistols. Shuriken equivalent or better. How do I pay?
James Peterson
>I'd burst out from a random crate How are we all?
Hudson Clark
Rolled 13 (1d100)
Hmmm yes this will work nicely honorable biped Can you also ive all your thrones? >Roll to convince Oh honorable sergeant, captain Matthew wanted me to see you
Brayden Mitchell
That would be me step into my office and dont knock over the wraithknight I spent a lot of time fixing it
Jaxon Kelly
Rolled 65 (1d100)
What even like, IS a throne though, maaaan?
Charles Williams
Wraithknight? You are allowed one? I take it you are familiar with eldar technology then? *enters office*
Jeremiah Gomez
Who was it.... Also in trade or thrones. Give me some fancy eldar gear and I'll get you something fun.
Gabriel Johnson
maybe I mean like... you should give ME all your thrones, maaaan. Fuck the man and all, y'know?
Dylan Ross
>he stands in line on crutches having just found out his holiday's been cancelled *wheeze* Wonderful, thanks.
Angel Watson
>Matthias would flash his wife a smile.
It's a pleasure to see you're so enthusiastic about your work, as always Darling!
Landon Martin
I will get back to you on that
Levi Lee
Lag wonders why are you in there.
>I pick him up and wak off with him
lag says come with me
Camden Harris
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>I'd attempt to manifest a power to heal the man of all his injuries
James Scott
Look on the bright side, Sergeant. You got an entire week and a half off your usual duties. And you got to spend it with me, nrusing you back to health!
I think you should consider that a win-win.
Lincoln Peterson
Rolled 10 (1d100)
Fuck off >I'd try to cast smite on the man
Robert Powell
Hmmm stryx are not charitable, but I have to pay for the treasures you gave me >Gives 50 thrones Oh honorable sergeant, I'm Ars'andog, captain Wyvern asked me to see you
Bentley Perez
>with the power doing so little, it still stings and I drop the man
that hurt Lag, lag go back to my mate now
>RUN THE FUCK AWAY
ALPHA LEGION
Hudson Gomez
You are not Lag' who are you?
Zachary Carter
Excellent my man... excellent >the man wonders away to the crate he arrived in, collapsing onto the floor
Colton Bell
Rolled 21 (1d100)
Rolling to catch that fuck
Charles Ortiz
Hey, I'm almost f-feeling better. Thanks for that.
>he grimaces Given that I also couldn't fuckin' walk for a week, we'll call it a win-lose at best.
He did? That c-can't be good.
Liam Adams
No problem. So we're fighting chaos kookies today? How fun.
John Bell
Rolled 55 (1d100)
HELL NO
[to escape]
Joshua Ross
I don't like people stealing from me, ever. You know this.
Just come find me. I'll have your stuff.
Thomas Rivera
allowed? sure I am definitely "allowed" to have it but yeah I can fix just about anything that isn't nid or ork tech and doesn't require me being a psyker. of course since you are a crafworld we'll see what I can do spent two years in commorough but thats different tech I think. the knight is fixed but I had to take the soul stone because the angry murder ghost tried to kill me now its just a nice decoration and hat rack
Anthony Jenkins
>She would pretend to pout at his words. Her cheeks puffed up, and her lips pushed outwards.
You're so mean, Sergeant! All I am, is kind, and gentle with you nowadays.
>Her face would return to its usual smile at this point.
You could atleast TRY to pretend you enjoyed my company. It would be nice.