Are your elves vegan?

All of my Elves are babyeaters

Sausage and scrambled eggs with fish sticks and some cheese dressing.

Why would they be?

Elves specialize in archery and almost always live in the forest. There's no reason for them to not have a largely wild game based diet.

Is oral sex considered vegan?

Of course not. They live for the hunt.

A semi-medieval type world does not have the infrastructure to support a "Vegan" diet for anyone but the wealthiest of folks. And even then It's less a diet and more a "I have a ring that makes me not need to eat"

Glorious lizardbros > Snobby vegans with pointy ears

medieval Spain is the perfect example of what'd happen to vegans, they would be treated with suspicion and outright hostility.

Elves love sausage. Orcish bloodsausage, halfling salami, human chorizo, they'll gobble it all up.

Meat, fish and cheese omelette.

sauce.

Why would a vegan diet be expensive?

you could make it less bland with careful usage
fatty ground beef mixed with garum and egg as a binder garum is basically fermented fish sauce, and works similarly in cooking to Worcestershire sauce.
wrap in a smokey peppered bacon to get your needed seasoning, which provides most of the seasoning you need.

really, the only problem is how dense this is, since we aren't using breadcrumbs or something, but it should be fine. wtih the crumbs, milk right in the body would be fine. without?
layer it with hot cheese.

They only eat things that eat berries.
Anything that eats berries is fair game.

Among more obvious things, they tend to cultivate mushrooms and poach foresters.

>live in a forest
>don't eat meat

MY elves eat meat exclusively.

Trees and plants are sacred. They're not allowed to eat plants.

>live in a forest
>don't eat decaying leaves

>t. Bosmer

Nah, they're made out of meat.

Dwarves are vegan because rocks contain no meat.

And of course in anime you are bound to see way more female elves than male elves.

Why do male elves in anime; atleast in appearance, tend to be a rarity? I get it, elf waifus and all. But if I'm wrong and there are already good chunks of male elves in recent animes, then please do enlighten me.

I'm no historian, or dietician, but I imagine most climates are not able to support the various fruits and vegetables required to sustain a person without meat all at the same time. Like you can't grow peanuts in the same place you grow fruits.

That being said, most of Asia functions on very little meat. Beef is "rare" or at least expensive in Japan. I imagine that most medieval villages or farmers had a fairly low meat diet compared to what we eat today. More like once every few meals, rather than every meal having meat.

They're elves, ya dingus. They all look like women.

Obligate carnivores

You're not fooling anyone, dear. You take your meat raw, like all elves.

That's due to Asia eating a lot of bean and nut-based dishes as well. Where it can be found, fish is abundantly present and several kinds of reptile are considered delicacies. There are Chinese street vendors that can pick out, slaughter, gut, prep, cook and wrap an entire boa in under 15 minutes for you.

What anime is this

Underrated

But the rock can't consent to being eaten

Within their forested realms they are strictly carnivorous. To do any harm to the sacred flora of their ancestral groves is blasphemous. Cannibalism is not frowned upon. Outside their realms their diet is comprised mostly of vegetables, since the foreign vegetation an elf consumes empowers the groves. Once all the natural world has been consumed, the elvish realms will absorb the material plane and the elves will reclaim True Immortality, to be gods among gods as they were in time antediluvian.

Yest it can, stop kinkshaming the poor aggregates.

Isekai Shokudō

No. They also really enjoy hunting.

There's been five civil wars, two holy wars and thirty thousand tavern fights trying to settle this question so far.

Incidentally, that's also why you see more elven women than men, they butcher each other all the time.

Something pescatarian

Nope, quite the opposite. In fact, a few tribes of wood elves in my setting are pure carnivore.

No, only shitty japanese fantasy and dumb asses make their elves vegan for no good reason besides the fact that they expect elves to be vegan nature hippies. Elves are natural bowmen that live in a forest, what else would they eat?

>pedo elves

Is it any good?

No. My elves are pretty and gay, not total faggots.

> Asia
> low meat
Know how I know you have never been to Asia? You are sprouting this shit.
They eat plenty of fucking meat. Chicken, pork, fish... in the case of the Chinese almost any fucking animal. And almost every part of the damn things.

>modern asia is same as medieval asia

Why do you think they eat almost any animal, insects included? Because meat wasn't that easy to come by before modern refrigeration and supply systems.

there's an ongoing ethnic feud between my settings snakemen and lizardmen. One set is from a distant cosmic realm, the other is an ancient race of cavern dwellers, and mixing them up or failing to distinguish which is which is the only sure way to make both sets of reptile folk stop fighting and lynch you.

The odd thing is that the snakemen have the most humanoid hands/limbs, of which they are very proud, and will mock the lizardmen for having less developed claws with various racial epithets, but the lizard men still call them limbless, as well as deriding their 'cold-blooded sloth' despite having the same trait. Both are mostly tan to green, and bear large slitted eyes, scales, and fanged teeth, and take enormous pride in their ornamental features, like forked tongues and spines. Lizardmen bear glorious frills, Snakemen have none the less splendid hoods. Again, confuse them at your own risk.

They mainly eat human flesh, so...not so much.

Why would they murder their fellow trees? I anything, they should be meat-eaters to the point of cannibalism.

The insect shit is literally just for the retarded white tourists, mostly in Beijing. I'm sorry the world isnt just like in your Japanese Animus user, but Asians eat meat. Frequently.

>no eggs
>no milk

I will never understand this shit. Being a vegetarian and not eating steak, or fish, or drumbsticks I understand.

But not eating eggs or dairy products? As long as the animals are free range then what the hell is the harm in eating those? Especially eggs. Eggs are fucking chicken periods. They are going to pop them out no matter what, why leave them around to rot and then cause all kinds of nasty mold and insect problems, not to mention the scent will attract predators.

You are actively harming your chickens by leaving their unfertilized eggs laying around. So why not eat them instead of throwing them away?

Just god damn stupid ass tree huggers.

Elves of all people would understand the symbioses between milk animals like cows and goats, and egg animals like chickens.

Why would ever develop the bow or hunting techniques if all they do is to eat meat?

Does he have a hemipenes?

I mean vegetables.

...

It nice to watch while eating something.

To kill all those animals that keep eating their vegetables. Alternatively elves have had a few culture shifts over their stupidly long history

>you can make it taste seasoned by adding seasoned ingredients

Really activates my almonds

Elves in my campaigns are a race that combines the most annoying and dumb traits of IRL people, so yes, they're militantly vegan.

I fuckin hate elves, prissy pissy faggots.

this, elves are total fags

No.

Mind you being the TOTALLY ORIGINAL NORMALFAG I am I twisted my races around a bit.

Elves are miners and smiths.

Dwarfs are the nature y, druidic pricks.

Humans are all living in Coastal Cities.

Orcs are Native American.

Dragonborn are Desert Nomads.

Gnomes are Subterranean Creatures.

Half lings are Gypsy's.

and Tieflings are Weeaboos.

Garum is fermented fish.

So is Worcestershire sauce (which starts out as anchovies).

Wow this is so original no one has ever thought of something like this before!

The pepper on the bacon

Surf n turf with a side of corn bread.

...

...

The hell is this from?

Far from that. They are so omnivorous they have eaten god once. That's how they gained magic.

I wonder.

>Fish isn't easy to come by in countries with a massive coastline and lots of rivers
Is it possible to be this retarded?

They're obligate carnivores, actually.

It's not pedophilia if your age of maturity is higher than their whole lifespan.

And it's isekai, of course it's not good.

2017 Game of the Year

*2015
time sure flies by

Hold them to that shit. No silk armor for you. No leather armor for you. No honey. No warm furs in the blizzard. No you can't use that disarmed enemy's sword it's got a snakeskin grip.

You actually reminded me of an NPC I had help my players once in Pathfinder.

She was an elf, and a druid, but her bond was with plants. She even had a plant companion. (Treesinger archetype)

Because she was supposed to keep plants in check and act as a bridge between them and humanoids, she was forbidden from eating any plant matter. Strict carnivore.

I stole that bit from the Bosmer and I'm not sorry at all. My players don't even know TES, so none of them cared.

Steamed egg, with a cup of milk to help bring the texture down to a smooth, almost tofu-like consistency. Use flakes of fish, and some ground meat.

Lot of cannibals in this thread.

Absolute truth.

Decent. Respectable. Nothing like deivores. Theovores?

They aren't including fish in meat.

boiled egg in a meatloaf with cream sauce

stick a fish up your ass to make it a balanced meal

>the hell is this from
>face when user not aware of current times

>typical image of Bosmer/Wood Elves in the The Elder Scrolls Series.

could have sworn I typed T not V

>generally elf thread
>guy complains about not enough male elves in animu-chinese-cartoons
>posts pic of some ugly Uruk-Hai looking mother fucker instead of an elf

Post elves stupid, this an elf wank thread, not Orc-fu'ing thread.

>"I eat magic for breakfast" Bretons THAT low
>"DID SOMEONE SAY STEALTH ARCHERY" Bosmer THAT low

At least make a Meh Tier.

Fisherman's eggs

no. i once had a player try to prepare them halal though.

hippo meat is halal if you butcher it the halal way (good luck with that)

i should clarify: they were trying to bait out a vampire

My N'wah!

Real talk Bretons are one of my favourite races and I wish they got more to do.

Half man
Half mer
All sexy

Tell me about it.