Forces of Chaos

>he follows, struggling under the weight of a space marine bolt pistol
>he ponders weather to hold it like a rifle, or a rocket launcher

>Emotion of love and happiness reform into a daemonette.
"Thanks my nigga, it does count as chaos worship!"
"You will be destoried, along with your corpse emperor you so dearly cling too."

you will regret this..........CEASE

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA my my, it seems my opponents are divided and they are incapable of low gothic. don not put me with those fools, for I shall burn you ALL

"Fool, like this"
>Picks ups the cultists both arms and wraps them around the bolt pistol like it was a bolt action rifle.
"Then the knife, just strap that to your back."
"I don't beileve in you daemon!"

your belief is irrelevant, your strength of arms is what matters. but come let us cease this talking.

you are a worm, a fool I am malice the god, the bringer of anarchy. are you ready to die mortal? to have your soul rent from your carcass like a pearl from an oyster?

YOU do my bidding, kill this foe and I shall reward you handsomely. power so great you can crush this being with a snap of your fingers. do you accept?

"Are you ready to die god, cause it is the will of chaos, that all who oppose it shall fall, and you, are chaos.."
>Turns to
"Cultist you must hurry, follow me out of the warp, where we land will be better than this hell!"

Would that i could, but in my age, my joints bother me far too much.

>Your hope forms into a tzeenian horror, your remorse into a nurgling.
"But thank you for caring."
"my cultist has left me but no matter, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"
>Leaps out of warp vortex
"OOGGAAA BOOGAA!!"
>Slices throught the nearest adepts
"Where are we?"

MAN that was on helluva jump, wad'nit Johnson?

Johnson?

OH SHIT WHAT IN TARNATION IS THIS OH GOD EMPRA SAVE US

you can do what is right...... do as I say, take a mace and strike this upstart. strike with fury and cunning and happiness and entropy and then with none of them. do this and be rewarded

>in the form of gold and a voice of power and charisma

my son, kill it kill the heretic and I shall protect you. I protect all my faithful

"Guardsmen! rejoice for today is the day... you are given a choice."
>The Chaos Lord gives you a stern look.
"Join me or serve and a lesson to future fools."

"You, daemon, are not Malal, you can not harm either me nor my cultists, I have the blessing of Khorne, your magic can't and won't affect me,BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"
>Turns the the frightened guardsmen.
"You try my patience, worm."

YOU LIE

any whom stand with me shall be given all the power I can afford, and with them they can crush you. but why don't I show that

>stepping into the material plane, I shake my axe

do you still believe I cant harm you?

"No, now I beileve I know exactly were to swing my Power Claws."
>Flexs and draws his bolt...
>Wheres my gun?
>Looks at the sleeping cultist still cradling the bolt pistol sucking his thumb
"OHHHHHHHHH FUCKER!"

>grabbing the lord by the throat, I hurl him into and through a nearby wall and through the next 2 walls, I walk after it.

for a khornate, you talk to much

Well, hey now, what's in it fer me? The guards gave me this here fancy shmancy lazgun.. If I join you do I get soma-them cool looking spikey boots?

"That would have hurt, had Nurgle not rotted my viens to puss."
>Looks at the guardsmen and his lasgun.
"Well, first off, I'll gie you a whole new set of spikey armor, I'll even make it myself, and a bolt pistiol."
>Jogs past the bloodthirster of malice and snaches the bolt pistiol aways from the sleeping cultist.
>Runs past the slowly marching bloodthirster.
"And I'll give you this boltpistol absoulty free, comes with a full magazine."
>Hands it to the guardsmen.
>and takes the lasgun from him.
"NOW SHOOT THE FRACKIN DAEMON WITH IT!"

>grabbing the guardsman by the throat, I look at it for a moment.

thank you for the weapon

>taking the bolt pistol I drop it to the ground and throw the guardsman at the lord

CATCH

"Ok"
>Snatchs the guardsmen by collar as he flys by.
"Aw jeez,Tzeentch it's just rainin guardsmen."
>Sets the guardsmen down
"Hurry guardsmen trigger the alarm, this daemonic incursion was not part of my plan!"
"DAEMON! YOU CAN'T BULLY MY RENEGADES, ONLY I CAN BULLY MY RENEGADES!"

>powers in fear for a moment before being thrown by the bloodthirster

SHIIIIIIIIT

I'LL BE NEEDIN THEM SPIKEY ARMORS ASAP BOSS

>Guardsman bleeds profusely

Cowers***

>the black and white god scowls

FINE YOU INSOLENT CUR, LETS SEE HOW YOUR LOYALTY HOLDS UP

>tearing open a portal, I hurl two bloodthirsters, 3 keepers of secrets, 9 nurglites and a slaneshii whore to fight him.

KILL HIM BASTARDS

>I use my new bolt pistol to shoot at his feet

DANCE MONKEY DANCE

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>awakens from warp induced vision
>sees hellscape unfolding around him
>fires bolt pistol in panick randomly
>dislocates shoulder

CAN I JOIN

>Guardsman dances, and as he acquies' to the chaos Lord's whim, he feels the light tugging chaos in the back of his mind...

"Well I don't much like this but I do tell you what something feels tingly!"

Rolled 5 (1d14)

>Every dice is a daemon."
"OH PLEASE DO"
>I jump up and slam a blood thrister into the ground, landing on top of it's skull.
"BLOOOOOOOD!!!"
>youtube.com/watch?v=wG_KZPeRpR8
>FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!"

Rolled 2, 4, 17, 17, 12, 14, 18, 18, 4, 14, 5, 18, 5, 13 = 161 (14d20)

"PRAISE CHAOS!!!"

IF YOU HAVE ANY INJURIES I WILL MAKE SURE TO TRAUMATISE ANYONE I WANT TOO.
ANALLY.
AND THEN ACT LIKE A VICTIM

"Well, I think I know a certain guardsmen in spikey boots who might be sufffering a minor concussion."
>Looks for the daemons.
"Are they all gone, do you even know?"
"It's a fracking hook horror."

"Hating bloodbowl, I would never work with this archon fellow."

>wandering around with dislocated shoulder, and a knife the size of him
>the cultist drags the once fired bolt pistol behind him.
"Hello?"

Rolled 156 (1d500)

HELLO PREPARE FOR RECTAL EXAMINATION
*roll for how thoroughly examined you are*
*100 is maximum, any higher number is over maximum*

"My gods, you're frackin alive..."
>Stumbles over to the cultist
"You, he he he, yes continue to serve chaos, we have to gather our allies!"

"Hey, if you have any ounce of medical skill in that warpened husk you call a body, you will help this cultist, it is the will of chaos."

Rolled 60 (1d100)

MEDICINE FOR ALL!
*roll for how thorough the examination is*

>Guardsman lies on the ground, incapacitated and ashamed

The boots were not worth it

"Well, come on guardsmen, What more do you want?"

>walks over to guardsman
I was uhhh... told to serve chaos so...
>throws bolt pistol on guardsman, in an attempt to crush him

Rolled 18 (1d20)

Rolled 7 (1d20)

"No!"
>I put a red guantlet infront of the guardsmen's head.
"Cease this foolishness, the scarfices are elsewere."

youtube.com/watch?v=68N_-OqaJ7g