Which one would you serve?

Can i choose the second mystery box.

Tzeentch. Because someone has to change things up.

Slaanesh alltheway

Sex, drugs, excess food. What's not to like.

Holy shit is that a heldrado mini converted to a laughing god?
Tell me who made it.

Tzeentch is best if you have no ambition.

Nurgle is best if you don't care about being corrupted and not yourself (cause that's what it takes to accept the fact that you are a floating pile of shit).

Unless you are Kharn-tier when it comes to fighting, don't bother with Khorne. You'll just die and become a skull stuck under a pile of other skulls for all eternity.

Slaanesh is great until it goes too far. But that's the thing--it's Slaanesh. It's gonna go too far no matter how you try it.

I wanna fuck and get fucked by hot demons, so the choice is pretty fucking easy

>Tzeentch is best if you have no ambition.
>Tzeentch
>No Ambition
Wat.

You're not the one saying 'Just as planned' my guy, Tzeentch is
You are the chess piece, not the dude moving them

You're the forgotten employee. All the sorcerors and lords of change are all focused on their plots and shit. You're the random servant that gets all their scrolls and shit. You make yourself somehow indispensable yet completely unimportant. They keep you around because they are too absorbed in their quests to care about killing you or even messing with you.

More than that, you don't care about being messed with. Totally Zen, no-fucks-given ever about anything at all. Even Tzeentch doesn't bother any more. At the end of the day, he's a troll--he needs an emotional investment from the target to get anything meaningful out of tearing down their hopes and dreams. If you have no hopes, dreams, fears, or cares, he just doesn't bother.

Meanwhile you can just hang out and become a daemon or do whatever. Who gives a damn anyways? You certainly don't.

Kinda like blue but also red's not bad. O'd proably go with purple pussy. Never liked green, sorry.

66.6% of all souls who see Slaanesh immediately are bound in worship to them.

that's just the emperor

In Khorne's brutality, there is solidarity.

In Nurgle's decay, there is compassion.

In Slaanesh's hedonism, there is aesthetics.

In Tzeentch's ambition, there is hope.

Chaos Undivided, all the way.

I would serve Khorn breaded and pan fried with tomatoes and mayo on a Kaiser roll with a side order of steamed broccoli.

>Khorne worshippers end up a skull under his throne at best
>Nurgle worshippers end up rotting piles of putrid flesh who care about nothing but also feel nothing
>Slaanesh worshippers push things too far and end up being soul-tortured and mad with pain

Tzeentch is the lesser of four evils. With his gifts, you might end up pretty powerful, and even though it is Tzeentch that pulls the strings, you do not see it. So yeah.

>even though it is Tzeentch that pulls the strings, you do not see it.

Tzeentch-bashers don't get this. Tzeentch doesn't remove your free will or take away your agency. Anything you'd do anyways, whether you serve him or not, is all part of his plans. The fact that serving him well means you more likely have a positive place in his plans gives motivation to serve him, and all you need to do is keep doing whatever drew his attention to you in the first place, which if you drew his attention, you were going to do either way.

That conversion's been on 1d4chan since 2010. The OG converter went unnamed without revealing anything else, so assume he died.

If everything is as Tzeentch planned, then logically aren't I already serving him?

I'd pick Slaanesh, Nurgle would pick me.
Sloth is my mortal sin of choice, but lust runs a close second.

Can't have a good game of chess if all the pieces are on one side, can you?

That is indeed what he'd like you to hink

A good strategy accounts for the actions of those not on your side as well.

khorne

I am weak, he will make me strong or kill me trying.

Khorne, so I'd be so angry that I won't even care about anything else anymore

Necoho, but it do not exists, so no one

You're all going to fucking die

So just go with Nurgle who represents acceptance of that fact

Slaanesh, because if a god is going to bully you it may as well be lewd bullying.

When Slaanesh looks at my Deviantart favorites I'll get my own demonworld.

The Emperor

Khorne. Process of elimination more than anything.

>Nurgle
The absolute worst. I despise loss of sensation, I'd rather feel the burning pain of a sore throat than take a lazenge.

>Tzeentch
Hate overly complex planning and not the manipulative sort.

>Slaanesh
Indulgence and heightened sensitivity seem nice, but the self-obsessed bullshit and preening would piss me off. Also I don't take any form of drugs and do basically nothing in excess.

Tzeentch, because I'm a hopeful guy.
And I can actually marry someone and not look like crap.
Tzeentch followers can have somewhat happy and "normal" lives

Slaanesh, no questions asked. Nurgle wants you to give up on yourself, to just accept the world as it comes. Tzeentch wants you to change for the sake of changing, to throw out the bad and the good just for the sake of being different. But Slaanesh wants you to push yourself, to be the best you can be and have the best life you can live. Slaanesh is the god of winners.

Khorne isn't even worth mentioning.

>Winners

Maybe it autocorrected from "wieners."

Probably Nurgle.
Live in peace in the garden. The beauty of decay and all that.

To elaborate, slaanesh is the god of obsession with perfection. In striving so hard to be perfect you become unable to connect with any people, and withdraw from reality.

It's the reason for why all slaanesh followers are drug addicted losers.

Compared to the other gods who are far more grounded, which means that they can somewhat connect with normal people.

Everyone feels anger, ambition, and despair. Very little are obsessed with perfection, which is why slaanesh is the weakest chaos god

Slaanesh is the god of fantasies

Probably Chaos Undivided, I like Khorne the most but if I dedicated myself to him completely then I'd most likely turn into an angry retard who charges the front lines with zero regards for tactics or strategy.

laughed harder than I should have

I figured Slaanesh was the weakest because the others have a 30 millennium head start. It's stated the others are worried by how fast she's growing in power.

How the heck is she growing? Only nobles have the resources to live a slaanesh life style.

Ambition, anger and despair are far stronger emotions, and don't require large amounts of money to participate in

Papa nurgle

Malice

Because nobody's ever satisfied. Everyone's always got things they want - to live another day, to eat another meal, for a good night's sleep, for the pain to stop. Ambition, anger, and despair are all founded on desire - desire plus a plan to satisfy it, desire plus an obstacle to satisfying it, desire plus an insurmountable obstacle to satisfying it. Ultimately, desire is the true face of all life - no matter what we get, we'll always want more.

I would say that ambition ties more into being satisfied than perfection.

Ambition is what you are willing to do to satisfy yourself.

Perfection is never being satisfied.

Right here with you buddy.
Grandfather Nurgle will be there for us all.

I to wish to feel his loving embrace, brother.

Nice headcannon

Are you implying common citizens can't indulge in sick and twisted hedonistic pleasures? Most serial rapists, drug dealers, and spree killers aren't rich enough to qualify as nobility.

I love decadence, I often consider myself the smartest person in the room, I get easily angered, and I'm lazy. Can I have all four daddies?

I would fall to Slaanesh fast and hard, like Fulgrim.

I am kinda "pretty" in the same way...
I truly wish I wasn't.

Basing this on my failings in real life I'd have to say I'd fall to Slaanesh, or maybe Khorne, but probably Slaanesh.

Not because that would be the one I would choose willingly necessarily, I'd not choose any of them if I could help it, but I know myself. Despite being religious and believing in a system of morals I fuck up regularly. Specifically, despite believing it will probably get me sent to hell I just can't resist pussy.

So in a universe where Slaanesh existed despite knowing that it would fuck me over in the long run I don't think I would be able to resist the temptation to debauche myself, and once you get a taste and they've got their hooks in you you're pretty much fucked as I understand it. So yeah, Slaanesh. Fuck.

Yea but those people aren't the meat of the population, simply the outcasts of society.

For slaanesh to be growing at an outstanding rate requires there to be more s&m fans then fighters, planners or accepters

And an attention whore to boot, you'll fit right in

either korn because i fantasize about killing or slaanesh because I have a TG fetish.

>slaanesh
>expansion
only thing I can think of is breast/ass expansion

>When it took you ~6 years to realise that the Khornite symbol is supposed to be a skull

Well fuck, I'm definitely not smart enough for Tzeentch

>People pick Slaanesh
Why would you follow a fickle bitch who could turn you to chaos spawn for catching her eyes while she's in a bad mood?

Fuck

chaos undivided

>implyging any chaos god wouldn't turn you into a chaos spawn just for ______________ while they're in a bad mood (N.B. bad mood is optional)

Slaanesh is mentioned as notably more fickle than the others, even daemon princes can be fucked for basically no reason.

Oh my god

While it's well-drawn, I kinda dislike images like this since Nurgle daemons should be happy to see you

>Pic

Elder Scrolls cosmology? I'm pretty sure that's the Elder Scrolls cosmology.

I always cringe at neckbeards confusing their porn and masturbatory addiction with actual vim and lust.

Sitting at home jerking it to furry porn with your cheetos dust encrusted hands is Nurgle imo not slaanny

>fighters, planners
Couldn't any foot soldier, officer or scientist who strives to be as good as possible at their paid job qualify?

Tzeentch is also (to my knowledge) the only patron that will explicitly fuck you over regardless of performance. Like, Khorne, Nurgle and Slaanesh might not exactly "care" about their subjects in a way that most mortals would find gratifying, but at least they generally exist in a "you keep forwarding my agenda, I'll leave you alone (or maybe even give you some goodies)" relationship with them. Sure, you're probably ultimately screwed no matter which God you choose, but at least with the other three you know the rules going in. You do well, you might get a pat on the back in the form of Warp gifts. You do poorly, you fucking die and your soul is torn apart for eternity. Simple.

Tzeentch does not give a single shit about that. You could be doing an excellent job, summoning demons and corrupting mortals all god damn day and Tzeentch will still make sure you get fucked up if that furthers whatever the hell 6-D chess game he's playing up there in the Warp. Tzeentch is not a good long-term investment.

That being said, it's not like anybody really "chooses" who they worship in 40k anyway. You're corrupted, and the manner in which you are corrupted is going to depend on your personal set of vices, goals, and fears more than on some kind of goal-oriented impartial weighing of the various Gods' benefits and retirement packages.

None. Literally all of the chaos gods are absolute shit with basically no upside. Like unless you think you can become a demon Prince or something there's no reason to worship any of them. You're always going to get the shit covered end of the stick

People on this board always hype up Nurgle for making you mellow, but that doesn't seem to be working for Typhus or Mortarion. What's up with that?

Typhus is only happy on the battlefield, while Morty has ten thousand years of Daddy issues holding him back. In Dark Imperium there is a hilarious bit covering this.

GW forgets how Grandad Pusbag works a lot of the time. Not like he's the only inconsistent chaos God though

Dont they develop feathers and 3rd eyes?

user I think you're thinking of tzeentch here

If you didnt post the anime shit then you may have had a point

Slaanesh is the God of Excess.
Khorne's desires are excessively violent.
Tzeentch's desires are excessively convoluted.
Nurgle's desires are excessively depressing.

Inside of each God is the seed of Slaanesh, and they fear that it may sprout.

Slaanesh, following the god who wants nothing more than you to enjoy your life is an easy choice

Next time I think someone should make a strawpoll at the beginning of the thread, I'm kind of interested in how the support is spread out.
Slaanesh all the way though

So you're the kind of person who's fine with brutally murdering people and butchering their carcasses, as long as it means you don't have to be manipulative or self-obsessed.

Guess it takes all kinds.

Nah, Tzeentch is also willing to betray you, but only if it furthers his plotting more than keeping you in favor. So he'll have a reason whereas Slaanesh will do it because she's on her period. You're right that both are terrible patrons though

Slaanesh is the god, of decadent excess. The whole "everything is excess" is a lie to make the weakest god feel better

Brutal murder comes with the territory. You're damned either way, at least Khorne just expects honest war. No plotting, preening, or pustulation required. Just bloodshed in a bleeding galaxy.

The one with tits

ah slaanesh isn't a terrible patron though. So long as you act in a way to please slaanesh, she has no reason to fuck you up

First, feathers and third eyes are cool. And tzeentch has the coolest look.

Second, the only other god that will let you have a normal relationship is nurgle.

Unless fucking you up is what pleases her in that moment.

Artists are unpredictable, especially the ones who like shock value.

Slaanesh is the worst shock artist

She can fuck me all she wants desu

Except today, the thing Slaanesh would find most pleasing is to grate your cock to powder over a bowl of dip and eat it with fried flakes of orphan's flesh. Slaanesh's pleasure has nothing to do with your own enjoyment.

To quote the Tome of Excess (Daemon Prince section):
>"A mortal could achieve greatness worthy of notice, only to be ruined and become a mindless Chaos Spawn because the Dark Prince was in an especially wistful mood."

...

and yet there are hundreds of thousands of slaaneshi worshipers who have been around for 10 000 years. Sounds like it's worth the risk to me

Compared to how many billions she's used up? Those odds don't look so good.