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overrated hack plot from a bigger hack writer who was never really that good/10

Some of those short stories are pretty great. Dark tower had its (very, very few) moments.

Good with children

Is it true the kids fuck in the sewer

God damn right they do.

They fuck so hard user

Eighteen pages of vividly described loli pussy. At one point the scene cuts away and you think it's done but then it cuts back and they're only up to the blowjobs.

Is that so

The only part I really read was when she was comparing how slimy the ground was with how slimy the boy's cock was.
King was on that good coke when he wrote that for sure.

I like his Bachman books.

Think they'll keep it in the movie?

Why do people shit on King, again?
He's written dozens of books, and led the charge in the resurgence of modern horror/thrillers. Yeah, he's got some stinkers and some of his novels clearly are for a buck, but for his volume, he has a noteworthy library.
Hell naw. I'm amazed it got passed the editor, or that the book hasn't been banned repeatedly.

CEGORACH, the Laughing God, Patron of the Harlequins, the Joker, The One Who Has Looked Closely At Life And Seen The Joke:

Gargantuan Creature (Character)
Points WS BS S T W I A Ld Sv
650 9 4 8 8 6 10 3 10 3++
Wargear:
Range S AP Type Special Rules
Cegoragh's Rose 36" 5 3 Assault 3 Haywire, Ignores Cover, Twin-linked
- 10 1 Melee Armourbane, Fleshbane, Shred
Special Rules:

Counter Attack
Eternal Warrior
Hatred (Chaos)
Hit And Run
It Will Not Die
Psyker (Mastery Level 5) (Cegorach knows all Phantasmancy powers and harnesses Warp Webway Charges on a roll of 2+)
Stunt Double:
Once per turn, When Cegorach would suffer a wound, roll a D6 and on a 5+, he switches place with the attacking unit. They roll their normal save roll if able.
The Final Act:
When Cegorach has lost half of his wounds, he summons D6 shards of Cegorach, And goes into reserve. He automatically deepstrikes in on the following turn.

Shard of Cegorach:

Points WS BS S T W I A Ld Sv
650 6 2 5 5 2 8 2 10 3++
Wargear:

Rose of Cegorach

>he's using 7e terminology
Look at this pleb over here.
It also sucks, badly.

I got it off 1d4chan, so fuck you.

An old Prof of mine said that the best American writer of the 80's and 90's is King and it's not a bad claim, though obviously bias. But it says something when King got so salty about one reviewer saying his success was a fluke that he purposefully published some books under a pseudonym, and that only he and his editor knew the true, and they still ended up on New York Times bestseller. I wish I remembered more to that story, its hilariously petty.

user, I'd get mad too if I busted my ass to get where I was only for some no name fucktard to claim that I didn't work for where I got to.
That he was able to soundly prove him wrong is vindication of skill.

>Why do people shit on King, again?
People shit on anything popular. They act like their opinions are objective criticisms. Blanket statements about artists' work.

I wish. Then something about it might actually be good. But then, if they had that kind of artistic integrity, they wouldn't be making the movie to begin with.

So what about this movie, that isn't even out yet, is bad about it?
I look askance at people who presume to shit on things before they can judge them properly; I remember some reviewers claiming the LotR movies were going to fail because they couldn't possibly do any kind of justice to Tolkien's vision.
>inb4 some cuck says exactly that

They already Said no

Are adaptations of media from one medium to another ever... good? Like does it really add anything? Most of the time they're bad.

There have been plenty.
The issue comes when the fans of one medium are not fans of another and get mad when it's not exactly the same, even if the genre conventions in one would make for a inferior product in the other.

But the book is sooo long

Bumping. Gonna stat him using the Horror rules from Chronicles Of Darkness.

> i can't even understand Steven King
Start over with Harry Potter. Or maybe something even easier.

It came literally out of left field and was fucking idiotic.

Virtue: Cunning
Vice: Sadistic
Aspirations: Spread Fear And Madness, Act Humorously

Mental Attributes: Intelligence 4, Wits 4, Resolve 6
Physical Attributes: Strength 7, Dexterity 4, Stamina 7
Social Attributes: Presence 6, Manipulation 4, Composure 6

Mental Skills: Academics 1, Medicine 1, Occult 3, Investigation 3
Physical Skills: Athletics (Chasing) 3, Brawl 4, Stealth (Ambush) 4, Survival 3
Social Skills: Empathy (Fear) 3, Expression (Humor) 2, Intimidation 5, Persuasion (Children) 3, Subterfuge (Mind Games) 5

Merits: Area Of Expertise 1 (Fear, Mind Games), Interdisciplinary Specialty 1 (Fear, Mind Games), Greyhound 1, Closed Book 3, Safe Place 3 (Sewer Lair), Table Turner 1, Iron Will 2, Untouchable 1

Willpower: 19
Initiative: 10
Defense: 7
Speed: 16
Health: 12
Potency: 7

Dread Powers: Eye Spy, Influence (Fear 3), Home Ground (Sewers), Hunter’s Senses (Children), Hypnotic Gaze, Madness And Terror, Maze, Natural Weapons 2, Numen (Hallucination, Mortal Mask), Know Soul, Regenerate 2, Shifting, Surprise Entrance, Wall Climb, Vanish

The books that Jaws and The Godfather were based on were pretty mediocre

Thank you for examples. Usually film adaptations at best happen to not fall short of the books.

The Shining. Killing the black guy who saves everyone was a bit fucked, but it was a perfect way to make the people who read the book go "Oh shit, what now?"

Which, when you're writing horror, is what you want.

See theres something I've never got about this. Cegorach is a worse shot with his ranged weapon, than his solitaires are without one.

The Jimmy Stewart version of Harvey was better than the play, partially because they could actually visit some of the sets the stage couldn't accommodate

The video game adaptation of I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream was solid gold.

You know that'll mean we can kill you...

The Witcher games complement the books really well.