ITT, Veeky Forums makes flavor text for Black Lotus

"Lord Bearington traded his castle for one and thought the price small."

...

"Tasty going in. Funny going out."
- Jurg, Goblin Herbalist

>"give this back to its original owner immediately and stop counterfeiting it!" - Will Hung, flower seller

...

"Here lies Ozymandius, King of Kings, where his tomb and body shall lay inviolate and preserved for a thousand years!" - inscription upon a 900 year old bronze plaque found in the soil of the black lotus garden of k'nuum

"To see this flower is to understand what it means to exemplify beauty amidst filth" Xia Shu Yun, Patriarch of the Black Cloud Triad.

jajajaja

>ITT everyone shows themselves to be a pleb who has no idea what the card is a reference to
do literally any of you read books?

No, the current is to hate MTG lore because the SJWs ruined it. Therefore the less we know, the more able we are to ignorantly mock it and feel self-superior.

This is a flower that is a lotus, it has great potential, this is powerful

>Flower Power.

MTG lore has been shit ever since the invasion/Weatherlite shit ended, but I don't see what sjws have to do with that.

Afaik the OG lotus reference is from the Odyssey, and magic lotus type plants show up in fantasy as referencing that. Conan stories mention black lotuses a couple of times.

Oh, nothing, it's just the current scapegoat we use so we have something to blame on why things aren't the way they used to be in our skewed nostalgic memories.

I don't think my preference for old lore is just skewed nostalgic memories though, I've read some of the novels, and the brother's war books are easily the best ones. I think the problem with the new lore (and the new art style, card frames, etc) is they are trying to sell to comic book fans, not fans of old school fantasy. And comic books suck.

Before there was time, before there was anything, there was nothing.
And before there was nothing, there were MONSTERS.

"Less experienced mages hate lotuses - especially black lotuses, the symbol of the most powerful mages."

>If there's anything a card designer hates, it's a lotus, especially Black Lotus, the symbol of Richard's poor design decisions.

FUCK IT WASN'T EVEN CLOSE

You need soil conditions to be just right.

>"Once you go Black, you never go back." - Vintage Player

"Who needs to put a down payment on a house anyway?"

Wowsers, those digits!

How can white lotus' even compete?

"I tasted a petal once and knew what true power was. Imagine what happened once I stumbled upon a whole flower" -Riku of two reflections

power- at any price

Yeah, because there's absolutely NO instance of whiny SJWs lashing out against how MtG handles its characters and story.

OH WAIT.

hey man if you remind someone of rape then what ever you do is inherently wrong, you need to change what you are doing because you trying to craft a universe for a game for millions of people is actually about my history and problems.

>LOTUSED.COM

Wrong image, friendo. Gang rape in cemeteries is serious shit.

so how much of this was caused by the fact lili is a huge bitch?

This one I like

"If Purphoros wishes my heart, he should stop making items I can improve upon" Nylea god of the hunt.

>paranoid whining about "SJWs"
as someone who used to go on Veeky Forums far more about 4 years ago, it really is sad to see what this place has become

yeah, that happened WAY after mtg lore already went to shit though. Everything post mending is incredibly shit, and its been shit pretty much since onslaught.

I laughed
beat me to it
that's probably closest to what it would be and that saddens me

Literally all of it. She cursed Garruk so he was out for revenge. The part of the curse that was going to kill him was removed later, but he kept all the power it gave him and stayed evil and mad, that's Jaces fault. Now Garruk goes around hunting other planeswalkers for sport. Thanks Liliana

>Lili and Chandra
>playing mono white and mono blue

wait, what is it a reference to?

It would even be misspelled Lutos and the market would blip around what is and isn't a misprint

>some say black is not a colour, others that it's made of many
>I believe it's roughly 3 not-colours

Best of the thread so far.

The flower from which a thousand ideas bloom.

Agreed

"Some people say that money does not grow from trees. This is true. Trees are hard to harvest, and cheap to sell. Money grows only from rare and unique plants. Wealthy fools are enamored by exclusivity, if they hear of a unique item, they will raise a Khan's ransom to have it for themselves. The secret of the black lotus? The white one is the same in all but colour."- He Hua, the merchant

Yes.

"It isn't always great beasts that present the greatest threat." - Kor proverb.

"...and he knew that only the grisly wizards of the Black Ring, which is the nadir of evil, voluntarily seek the scarlet nightmares of the black lotus."
— Robert E. Howard, "The Hour of the Dragon."

Now thats the good shit

A broken clock is right twice a day. In this case, I agree with the whiny SJW's. That card looks rapey. I don't want rapey art on my magic cards. Keep the violence at a PG-13 level at the most. People play this game in public. Kids play this game. I played with my mom.

I also find it kind of insulting that the art direction thinks the only way I'll be interested in their game is if it has an hypersexualized chick in it. As if all they have to do is stick some wet, silk-coverd tits on something and I'll immediately buy it. Please give me and my boner some credit.

The dumbest thing about this art is that it's misleading. It looks like some guy is beating the shit out of some helpless woman, but if you know anything about the lore you know that Liliana is a powerful magic user and you can clearly see she's doing some nasty necromantic shit to Garruk, and he ends up losing this fight... badly.

"Heh...that's a dumb looking flower..." -Jace Beleren

"If tapped, a black lotus is said to drop value rapidly.
What the fuck is a black lotus?
Not your mother."

You cease being a total newfag at Magic when you understand why the Black Lotus is so powerful.

Like, when you're new at the game, it's perfectly understandable to look at Black Lotus and not get why it is rightly called the most powerful card at Magic. It's just three mana.

But sooner or later there comes a point where you look at Black Lotus and say to yourself "holy fucking shit, how was this ever printed? How did Garfield not realize how mind-numbingly powerful this is?"

Amidst the shit, muck, filth, nazi, bigoted, alt-right... oh wait Black Lotus... uh... its a flower in a swamp.

The only thing I can really hold against that argument is the flavor text, which implies that he is trying to save himself from a curse she put on him.
>Rid me of this curse, witch, or die with me.

But the art could be improved on nonetheless. May not look rapey, but I don't predict a day when double standards in gender are going to stop being a thing.

>I also find it kind of insulting that the art direction thinks the only way I'll be interested in their game is if it has an hypersexualized chick in it. As if all they have to do is stick some wet, silk-coverd tits on something and I'll immediately buy it. Please give me some credit.
I actually have an aversion to sexual fanservice in things that I invest interest in. If the fanservice is from something I have no attachment to, such as a mediocre anime, then I'm not going to care and will spend my time... appreciating it. If it's in something I like, then I'm either going to try to ignore it or bitch about it on a Algerian Woodworking board, and even with the latter I would only do it if it was absolutely tasteless because I know that some people don't have the same tastes as me.
It's probably because I'm an American, but I like to keep a high wall between lewd and (anything with violence or serious conflict). I'll take either, even with some comedy weaved in, but not both at the same time.

Which is why user attributed the quote to be from that smug tool Jace.

In one of the early pre-revision novels, Whispering Woods, a wizard casually mentions to his entourage that they should gather any black lotuses they see since they grow plentifully in that area, and anyone who brings some back will get a pay bonus.

I really like how underestimated that card was back then to have the fluff refer to it so casually. I'd probably take that direction with the flavor text. Nothing epic or overly dramatic, just a description of the flower, where it grows, and its significance to the locals.

>"Its petals shine with all the colors of the world, and for that all the world desires it."

Alternatively,
"A treasure, priceless beyond life
Stands gleaming in the dawn.
And in a moment, it is spent."
-Snow-Fur, Kitsune Poet

Yes. Yes. YES

>skewed nostalgic memories

>so how much of this was caused by the fact lili is a bad character?

Granted, all of the nuwalkers are bad characters, but the Main Five are especially egregious, if only because the others don't generally get enough screentime to show off why they're so dumb. Lilliana is the blandest possible interpretation of Black, just as Chandra is for Red and Nissa and Garruk were for Green.

>Shieeeeeet

Magic hasn't had any sexy art since the early aughts. The chicks on the 6 o'clock news are more sexualized than the shit we get now.

>The dumbest thing about this art is that it's misleading. It looks like some guy is beating the shit out of some helpless woman, but if you know anything about the lore you know that Liliana is a powerful magic user and you can clearly see she's doing some nasty necromantic shit to Garruk, and he ends up losing this fight... badly.
So you're saying that this piece of art that depicts a very pivotal scene from the lore, makes sense if you care about the lore? Wow, it's almost like they made it for people who care about the story and not for people who don't even play the game!

>"holy fucking shit, how was this ever printed? How did Garfield not realize how mind-numbingly powerful this is?"

Because there was no such thing as a market for cardboard back then and he didn't expect anyone to ever see more than one in their entire life. Also it was designed around other Alpha cards. Guess what, outside of the big boys, pretty much every Alpha card sucked.

I'm If we're talking about the art without story context, because not every player reads the story, the art might look rapey to some, not me personally, but to others it might, and I could see the resemblance a little.
However, the card itself does provide enough context to imply that the situation is not rape or abuse, but rather some guy trying to save himself from a woman who created the predicament he is in.
>Rid me of this curse, witch, or die with me.
Every player is going to have access to that flavor text if they have access to the card, which they are either playing or they aren't, and if they aren't then the supposedly problematic art doesn't really matter.

Longer isn't better and that first one is fucking terrible. It takes 47 words to say, "Bolas makes plans." I hope to god nobody published a book where everything was written like that.

Second one is sort of blunt and cringey and I wouldn't argue if someone called it crap, but it at least gets to the point. That story didn't need to be anything more than Bolas curbstomping the heroes, and a flowery introduction would have been a waste of time.

Basically the second one reads like a first draft of a potentially decent story, while the second reads like someone who's spent too much time reading Tolkien and thinks that's just how you're supposed to write.

Alright then, pretend you don't know shit about Nicky B.

Tell me how much you learn about him as a character from that second author.

>He is probably a bad guy who wants to kill heroes

Those 47 words that you call 'he makes plans' are describing him. They tell me what he's like as a character. Longer is better if it accomplishes something.

>implying Tolkien wasn't a good author
unironically kill yourself

motherfucking J O J O

Ho bip bip parapa

I agree, but to give him some benefit of the doubt that he just worded that in a shit way, there's nothing quite as awful as bad writers trying to copy Tolkien's style

"Roses are red,
lotus are black,
your mother will die in her sleep, unless you crack a fatpack."
-MaRo

"Bring back Dark Ritual!" Anonymous, Maigcon 20XX

"Beautiful" Hannah shuttered. "I can't condemn the desire I feel"

"But it absorbs all light!"
"No, it emits *black* light."

Trips confirm best in thread

Yeah, I think this is our winner.

Hell yeah.

Black Lotus flew toward the graveyard, eager to make 3 mana today

cringe/10

>not liking conan
dispose of your life

A man's home is is castle
A black lotus is a man's mortgaged home

>ignoring the fact that she cursed Garruk because he was trying to kill her

>inB4 but she killed one of his beasts
"in self defense" is how that sentence ends

>shuttered
Do you mean "shuddered?"

"It's the blackest of Lotuses."

The right to defend yourself does not extend past the initial fight. If you deliberately injure or maim your attacker in a way they won't recover from, beyond what will help you survive the confrontation, then you've gone too far.
Lili had many more effective ways of dealing with Garruk than cursing him with the fucking Chain Veil.

HA! Crom laughs at your rating.

"$19999.99 buys 19999.99 reasons to still imprint money"
-Markshekel Jewater-

Crom doesn't laugh. He sits on his mountain and sends out death and doom.

Fucking casual. Though on the other hand, at least you're not this colossal faggot, I mean, holy shit, . The faggotry is incalculable.

"The Black Lotus holds a terrible secret. It is actually The Very Dark Purple Lotus."

Never read the book, but I'd refer to Ender Wiggin in the movie:

"when I hurt someone, I hurt them in such a way that they will never attack me again. I finish every future fight before it begins."