Let's have a character thread

An ordinary person chosen prophet by a possibly evil god. Juggles family, politics and service to the god.

War veteran (male) seeking some sort of absolution. Knows the setting main villain (female). Plot spoiler: chokes main villain to death and kills himself.

white haired russian psycho daughter of an oligarch, impersonating a caring motherly type, stranded in fantasy and longing for godhood.

>depressed
>genetically inferior female elf
>plate armor, giant shield
>can't hurt living beings
>undead annihilation expert
>worships god of death

Limes do contain vitamin C. The issue you are (probably) referring to was combination of two absolutely retarded decisions made by Royal Navy. First, they've switched from lemons to limes (roughtly 2/3 of vitamin C content) and then they've DEMANDED to use copper plumbing. Copper reacts with vitamin C, basically destroying it, especially when heated.
In the end, sailors were given bottles of lime juice that was close to worthless when it comes to vitamin C provision.

He died, and made a deal with the devil
He'll cut a bloody swath to end those who wronged him.

An accountant weeb.
Trapped in a shounen world.
Still flat-chested.

Bundeswehr soldier in Twilight 2000 game.

There is no point writng more.

Mostly alive daughter of a dead man. Efficient, cold, loving. Queen of a shitty nation. Awful parent. Not Good but tries.

cannon building necromancer basically pulling a nic cage in lord of war.

Social darwinist Goliath monk.
Classic orphan-raised-by-monks backstory. Used a kanabo. Once trained village militia. Cool dude.

Narcoleptic undead-hating faun roleplaying as demon lord becomes leader of independent city-state. Mandates construction of new comfy beds.

Old Sheriff Jack McGourty
Retired and drunk, though not quite psychotic.
He thought he was Lawful but he was Chaotic.

Former member of a traveling band, reduced to street performing. Just wants a group to travel with. Also a gnome.

Druid wrestler

>plate armor, giant shield
for what purpose

Dumb but friendly and charming paladin

Playing drums, eating fingers.

Charismatic flair.
A master of spell and sword.
Yet... broken inside.

This Number one contender sucks blood and hits like a truck, went to train with trolls, seeks a wizard now!

Born Ghoul, older wiser crueler than Vampire he serves. Always 'making a suggestion' and 'taking the liberty'. 'Master' smiles and nods, clueless.

Nobody wants to die. Everyone will die one day. Follow the philosophy of the ooze.

>kobold treasure hunter
>if scrooge mcduck was a rat lizard
>slept in a pile of gold
>was yoinked into a portal from hell
>fuck tales, woo hoo

Princess who got her armed vaporized by a mindflayer. Now a fighter who laughs when severely injured.

fresh outta wizard college
trained as stage magician
has a song for every occasion
familiar dies every combat

Exiled Merchant Prince
on a grand adventure
Evil is too easy for a young hero

Psychic sex vampire that's losing her humanity and is now dating the city's Warden, while corrupting him.

Politics, light elves and unfair wars aren't right.
So I will bring all out total war.

>In all ways except physical, I am a bear

[rages]

An herbalist witch by the sea where animals hadn't gone extinct. His trilobite knows what's up.

six fingered broke ass jew in chicago, loving every type of gambling, games and math. working for the mafia.

How the fuck are the parasites not satisfied, if she's that fat she's clearly eating at a rate far faster than they're consuming.

Literally Dandelion from the Witcher
except he's lawful evil

I guess these parasites sustain themselves from disgusting fap fuel.

Born into nothingness and shit
Wished to give his life for those that helped him
In the end he did

Eye collecting warlock with an inferiority complex.
He travels the world to get more knowledge and experience. Also Handsome.

DM allowed 3rd Party Pathfinder
So I made a fighter that could literally intimidate Satan into a mewling ball

Quiet Wizard that feels useless to party.
Family artifact gets destroyed.
He turns into a fucking badass.
Also, now a lich.

clearly the swelling is due to the pixie's rapidly breeding inside of her stomach, and not simply fat build up

Storytime?

Her master wanted to be immortal, but succeeded horribly. Now she must rectify that and learn to deal with people.

Giant stone robot granted a soul, than left at the bottom of the sea for ten thosand years. Likes hammers.

Grand Moshi Pirate
Sails the high seas, bringing flame
knife fights and healing

Sure
>fantasy homebrew our group has been working on for a few years
>races are:
>Humans: You know them, have conquered a lot of the continent lately
>Elves: Also fairly simple. Slavers, live inside their magical forest but also have a slave city in the desert. Hate deformities (kill on sight)
>Dwarves: Short, pudgy, strong, you know the drill. Most don't have contact with the rest of the world and live in their mountain.
>Did I mention that they chained their mountain to the side of a cliff with fuckhuge chains?
>Orcs: also fairly standard. Nomads, worship elements, good shamans. Enslaved by the humans and elves
>Vahgai: "Southern" slave race. Come from the desert, hate slavers and elves.
>Cosmology consists of 4 spheres. 1. Sphere is the mortal world, 2. sphere is the afterlife, 3. Sphere is the gods, 4. sphere is hell.
>16 gods, divided in 4 groups of 4. 4 major demon princes.

>after playing in good campaigns for years we decided to try a dark campaign
>players are:
>Vahgai tank, big guy in shining armor, wields a fuckhuge sword called "Steinschneider" (rock cutter), has no problem with just cutting a motherfucker in half
>human assassin, dwarf (I think he was less than 1,50m), fights with two short swords, doesn't particularly care about the others, stays out of fights
>human necromancer, left after a few sessions due to university stuff, has a servant
>vahgai housemaid, thief, warlock. NPC servant of necromancer. Cleaned the house, prepared food, got rid of the failed experiments. Tank wanted to constantly "save her" to her protest.
>and me, human thief/alchemist. I was kinda responsible for keeping the rest alive with my potions. Fought with a dagger and later bow. Backstory was that he was an orphan, claimed by the thief guild and made to steal gold for them. Generally treated like shit (including having to sleep in the latrine when his work wasn't enough)

Continued in the next post

Uppity Pre-Socratic philosopher GISH with a thing for fey.

Was a scientist
Became a lich
Became a normal undead wizard
Still ugly as fuck

>First act of the game was to get the tank out of jail (he had killed some noble son after the noble had burned down his house and drunk his wine)
>met assassin there as well
>botch that up kinda but still manage it (here it is established that the tank is really impulsive and has stupid ideas)
>tank and I have nowhere to go, so we search through the city
>meet the assassin at the graveyard as he was delivering some corpses to the necromancer
>get invited for dinner by the necro and the servant. Tank is wary about the necro (sees him as a slaver). My character meets the first people that don't treat him like shit.
>instant loyalty
>necro and I try some unholy abomination outside his subterranian lair
>right in front of the guards
>we are captured and are to be executed
>servant rescues me and the necro, we (assassin, necro, tank and I) flee into the wilderness
>meet a group of raiders
>their boss wants to get back a girl he met in the local village
>of course we help
>we fight through some villagers, until we meet the old hag of the village
>she curses us, should we not be able to lift the curse then our veins will dissolve
>just dispelling doesn't work due to it having a poison and curse component. You need to remove both at once.
>meet a bard that points us towards a guy that studied such curses
>reach his tower, find the cure.
>temporary cure requires willingly given blood alongside some other ingredients. Permanent cure requires hard to get items such as the first egg of a dragon and a tear of a demon
>demons only live in the fourth sphere and only cry if you manage to beat them at their own game (more revenge than a demon of revenge, sluttier than a succubus, more knowledgeable than a knowledge demon, etc.)
>go back to the city, earn some gold (kill the tax collector and steal the money), help overthrow the current thief guild.
>necro goes missing
>meet up with the maid and win her freedom in a tournament. Accidentally kill some elven ambassadors.

Metal man gets covered in flaming scorpions and curb stomps short people.

>queen ups the guard, appoints warlord as head of it
>first thing they do? Execute the necro.
>shortly beforehand the servant became a warlock. We prevent her from interfering (we would have been swarmed)
>flee the city
>have some adventures, including the tank killing two people due to him being impulsive (tavern owner we wanted to get a license from to copy it, and the chief of the city) and it fucking us over
>after some more adventures we finally reach the fourth sphere.
>now also have an elven druid and a human wizard
>try our luck with a demon of riddles, due to dumb decisions only manage to stay even
>try our luck with the prince of revenge (think khorne)
>tank challenges him without thinking who he is
>he doesn't instantly smites us but lets us fight against three of his minions
>we are fucked
>servant recently leveled up and got a new ability
>GM tells us that one of us should sacrifice his character in exchange for the rest surviving
>I say sure
>servant kills me, uses my life to fuel a fuckhuge attack spell to defeat the enemies

So yeah, that's how I sacrificed my life to save that of the one person that didn't treat me like shit, oh and also the rest of the group

Sculptor of flesh
Mutating and creatin'
To the stars he fled
The law he was escapin'
Starting life a-fresh

Dave the barbarian, stock pot for a hat. Punching solves any problem. He died from a god's love. Now a construct.

Nobody knows you're psychic if you're a robot.

A brokenhearted child that grew up into a bank-hating Vegeta necromancer that just wants her father back.

A Half-Orc wizard, haunted by hallucinations of a creature she calls "The Crawler."

Member of sedentary fire cult takes time off from selling candles to actually use cool magic powers. Doesn't like killing.

He is a spicy boy

Half-Elf Sorcerer
Debauchery, his life's blood
Don't drink the Kool-Aid

My character

Fucking psychopath
He might be a lycanthrope
And he wields a bow

Half-fairy, imbued with gravity powers, leaves shitty city to explore world and make sure people can enjoy life.

Do not drink that.
Do not touch that.
Why is the princess naked?
Hlaf-Orc Barbarian.

So you mean Dandelion from the TV series?

Brujah viking
Old as fuck
Has seen some shit
Blood mead
Fuck the cammarilla
Fuck the sabbat
Surprisingly chill guy

>moeblob elf healer who seems hyper-innocent, but wields body-horror psionic powers and lacks a fear response

Hostile Empathic Transfer is no joke.

>Shape-shifting necromancer bard who shoots laser beams from his flute.

How about 10?

Colonization is fucking good for you. Now show me what little worth your tribe has to offer.

Zombie cowboy quick draw capable of rotting anything he touches, including himself. Deals drugs and collects debts on the side

Racist gnome thief that got magically stuck in a human guards body. Switches control with him unpredictabily

Puts holes in heads
And legs
And torsos
And arms
Also finds water
Also saves lives
Is a cool guy

War orphan turned noble, looking for long lost sister. Turns into a mindless berserker in a fight.

Left home as a child to explore. Met his hobo/wizard master and never turned back.

Since I pretty much exclusively DM, I'll describe the characters of my players

>FBI chopper pilot with an infatuation for firepower, complete disregard for authority. Spends most of pay building ghost-busting helicopter.

>Welder who fixes things and customizes vehicles, has entire house painted in protection wards, and hosts a giant telepathic spider.

>RAAF test pilot, has thirst for knowledge of the occult, and is the most trustworthy and levelheaded of the team.

>NEET weeaboo who browses /x/ and wants to summon a succubus. Hiding an ancient book of black magic from the agency.

Oni adventurer-was "soldier" a long time ago - found a strange sentient armor - got stased - don't remember much - can't take away his powerfull but cursed amor - armor happen to talk and his a cheeky bitch making comment all the time

High dedication to a life's ambition leaves him lost in a world he knows every detail of, seeking worthy death.

plot twist: she was into it.

Don't be such a baby! Ribs grow back!
(no they don't)

Psyker of great strength
Finally sees that his group
Is a meme team, fuck

>middle aged, grizzled human
>former guard
>practically evil and devilishly practical
>just wants his pension

I played him in an Adventurer's League campaign as a glorified guard NPC....he's retiring. The rewards, boons, and favors garnered for adventurers are nowhere near what he wants to bring the whole system crashing down around him.

girl turned goose with hair trigger temper and sniper rifle

Really really really really hates spending money. Willing to make great sacrifices for his friends unless that sacrifice is money.

Young orphaned monk turned to a life of crime who currently seeks a path towards redemption.

Possibly not an orphan.

Escaped slave Lizardman (3)
Worships god of Freedom (7)
Turned broken slave-chains into flails (13)
Frees slaves (15)
And sometimes criminals (18)
By mistake (20)

Merchant's son turned stoner monk, seeks enlightenment but not yet wise enough to attain it. Better at swords than kung-fu.

How does a male
Of the drow persuasion
Become a Patrician
Death

Crane and snake tattoo
Left to die in snow and ice
Have gun, will travel

Jon Snow

Summons aplenty, DM hates him, basically the party's crafter, worse than a bard. Never even got to summon.

Wishes he was pure elf
Angsty rage

Take me back to Commorragh City
Where the girls are mean
And their scars are pretty

Half-elf storyteller and bard, a passionate romantic.
Has sword, will travel.

Plucky orphan thief.
Searching for his kidnapped partner.
Bonds mean more than wealth.

Half dragon child soldier with PTSD, trust issues, and occasional bouts of kleptomania. Hiding from those that want his skin.