Retard tries to play W40K

Okay, I do live in Sweden, but we have at least one GW and you can order online so I've been interested in playing this fascinating game.
I would like tips on how to find people to play with, how to take care of your minis, etc. I've also been wondering which race or chapter or w/e to play; I like the Sororitas, the Nids and WAAAGH!! but I want to hear what a true neckbeard has to say on the matter.

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Does bumping even do anything?

FFS somebody give me the time of day...

>FFS somebody give me the time of day...
At the time of this post it will be *chime* 4:47 pm mst

Can't help you except I am also a retard trying to play 40k. Space Marines are your safest, cheapest bet.
A games store is your best place to find a pickup match, but you're playing with randos. Would be better to find someone you can trust not to be a nuisance on Meetup or Roll20, then set up a game, but I can't seem to make it happen

No u

Your best bet is Deth Korp of KRIEG because it's so much more fukkin' metal and we all know that swedeland == metaltopia

>spess mehreens
Ultrasmurfs? No. Homepainted Wolves turned Angry Marines, sure. I still much prefer the bugs or shrooms though.
Wow, it's just past midnight here. Wtf timezones.

Fuck your powerarmour. Real men only need a trenchcoat and a lasrifle.

Death Korp, Death Korp, Death KorpDeath Korp, Death Korp, Death Clock Death Korp, Death Korp, Death Clock Death Clock, Death Korp, Clock KorpDeath Korp, Death Korp, Death KorpDeath Korp, Death Korp, Death KorpDeath Korp, Death Korp, Death KorpDeath Korp, Death Korp, Death KorpDeath Korp, Death Korp, Death Korp

Shrooms are also a good cheap choice and are doing unusually well in 8th.

When I say cheap I don't mean retail, SM and Orkz have hundreds of poorly painted eBay models you can snap up then strip with household cleaners

Dude play what you think looks cool

if you want decent race description go check out 1d4chan

I... was unaware that place existed. Thanks my dude.

>Dude play what you think looks cool

I'll tell you what's cool. Death Korp. Final Destination.

Fucc off Kriegfag. You're right though

okay.

>lives in Sweden
>wants to battle filthy invaders on tabletop

Just go outside lmao

Play whatever the fuck army you want, the only relevant factor in this decision is picking the one you think is coolest.

You find people to play with by finding out what gaming stores and clubs are in your local area, going to one of them (with your 40k army in some kind of container) and asking someone "would you like to play 40k?".

You take care of your miniatures by not rubbing them down with sandpaper once you have finished painting them.

Oh, right, painting. Tips outside of thinning would be cool, but I am sure some video exists somewhere.

youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEaPE4sLDA7ucJ0dkiVZSW6ghZUNGFHIW

Duncan will tell you how to paint.

Thanks my dude

1. Read up on lore and rules then look at minis then choose which race to play. I'd recommend an easy to paint/play race like Marines, Necron, or Orks.
2. Figure out if you wanna play the game or just collect/paint/build shit
3. If you're planning on gaming, go get an HQ and 2 Troops. I don't give a shit about any other FOC or anything, get that as a bedrock for future purchases and you can quickly play with them. If you're just collecting, get whatever the fuck you want.
4. While building/painting, think up of lore based on what you like/drives you to paint/build more of your plastic crack. In my case, old lore on the Fae/Fey. Go to Warhammer TV on youtube, they'd got great tips for beginners.
5. Once done painting, varnish then base. Which type of varnish depends on what effect you'd like on your mini.
6. Go to a club, store, gaming bunker, what have you. Go up to some doods who are playing or look like they'd have an army and ask "Hey bro, you up for a game?" and repeat to another guy if he says no. If no one wants to play, just shut up and watch them play. Learn local lingo, customs, etc. In my GW, we tend to bro fist whenever we finish a game, win or lose.
7. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, try to not freak them out by your nearly acquired addiction. Some people don't like people who spend money on plastic soldiers. Others don't give a shit. Other times, you end up making them addicted as well.
8. Check if local games store allows 3rd party bits and or Forgeworld stuff if it's a GW. This is important to see if your redshirt is really anal about that. If allowed, try to keep 25% non-GW as not to rile up anyone who has something wrong with that. In my GW, my guy won't even bat an eye at Reaper minis and shit being used as long as you use common sense like not bringing it up around any other employees from other stores or corporate. If questioned, say you scratch build or didn't know.

Also, support your store.

Remember, it's not possible for you to actually be good at painting from the very beginning.

You can, however paint passable tabletop quality miniatures day one so long as you use the right tools for the job, take your time and follow the instructions of our lord and savior Duncan as precisely as you can. If you do this your miniatures will look better than those of most people with zero experience.

Remember above all else: Two thin coats.

I absolutely love you guys :)
Thanks for all the help

>Duncan will tell you how to paint.
Only issue with based Dunker is that he's all citadel materials all the time no exceptions.

Learn to look for third party tools and such. Often cheaper and just as swanky.

>3. If you're planning on gaming, go get an HQ and 2 Troops.

Not even anymore. You just need HQ's and then use the chart focus detachments to play all jet-pack doods and sheet. Or, all supa heeevy all day long for no friends.

That sounds like a lot of fun, just cuccing people with all that stronk and armor.

No. All Death Riders All the TIME.

>swedeland == metaltopia

Not right now you don't.

But purging is haaaard. I don't have muscles for that.

You're right. Sometimes its ABBA.

>To, eldar?

Bor du i Stockholm?

Om du gör det, Dragons lair.

Önskar det alltså, men jag bor i Skövde. Jävla håla.

Don't buy from GW directly unless what you want is out of stock or exclusive to GW online, other stores generally offer at least 15% off, sometimes more.

Sisters of Battle are a very old and very expensive and unsupported army. If you really love armored knight nuns with flamethrowers, then you can maybe buy them and pray for GW to make them plastic, but people have waited for over 20 years. Sisters of Silence or a non-GW company that make SoB figure are a better choice for models.

Tyranids are a chick magnet but can get way too tiresome to collect if you want the small guys.

Orks are a better balance and are super easy to paint. Just spray paint them white and slap a bunch of green shades and glazes on them. They also have a strong and loyal following who played them when they sucked for years and now they're quite strong.

Sad about my Sororitas, they were cool
Nids or shrooms it is. If nids will truly get me laid then they go first :^)

You're being tricked. 'Nids are for chicks and queers. You wouldn't wear heals, would you?

>Krieg is the only answer. Krieg will get you laid when the ladies see your primo forgeworld army.

This made me chuckle. I want to see someone do this one day.

Take 1d4chan with a bucket of salt. It's full of memes and misinformation.

As for armies: Orks and 'nids are both doing well. The Sisters are waiting on a plastic kit, since... forever. I'd recommend not Sisters to start with.

>space marines
>cheapest
do you work for games workshop?

>walk into store
>ask for demo painting marine
>acquire free space marine miniature
>repeat 30-60 times
>entire army for free

I tried.

You get cut off at about a squad or so, depending on how crafty you are with the staff, recon, and not twigging them to talk to each other to realise what you're doing.