Jumpchain CYOA Thread #1652: Renka Needs Love Edition

A transformation device often comes with a weapon packaged inside, is armor in-and-of itself, and you can add some import for a magic focus.

I say focus on the device.

A weapon that is also a magic focus.

Armor, and make your combat all about PUNCHING A MOTHERFUCKER.

So... I made it a generic alternate history jump. If you don't want to jump it, that's fine but don't tell me to stop! I'm learning from the IRC and they're good people. I won't listen to you shitposters anymore!

GET SET.

Are you the guy who posted the Steampunk jump way, way back then? I loved that thing.

With the various options you can stack into one transformation device, you'll easily end up with it also working as weapon and armory without doing anything in specific. Both Showa KR Part 1 and Neo-Heisei Part 2 can give it magical buffs, although it probably won't stack up to a dedicated focus.

Yes. I'm still taking suggestions, I'm just not listening to people who tell me to shut up and stop making my jump. I'm really glad you liked it, thank you!

Okay so....this seems to have all the same issues as last time, just with a different name slapped on. Theres' still some insanely broken perks that haven't been changed, a bunch of the eras cover things we already have jumps of and etc etc.

Please go back to those threads and apply the critique you were getting about the above and more because you seem to have either forgotten to or ignored it and there was good stuff then.

Bardiche is best polearm.

Yeah you don't really seem to have done anything aside from the name change. Do you have a changelog?

No, that's guan dao.

This looks neat. It's not what I was expecting from the title, too much time on alternatehistory.com left me thinking about the topic in terms of points of divergence and alternate history being something in the past. But starting in the modern day of the alt-history is pretty cool, and probably more easily digestible than the rather dry academic terms I was thinking in. So I think this looks pretty cool. It's going to take me a bit to read through it, see if there's anything that sticks out as particularly good or particularly bad, but my initial impressions are a positive one.

Bardiche is the name of the weapon in that gif. It's an intelligent weapon who's super loyal.

Moustache Twirling Luck - This perk cracks me up, along with Murderous Monopoly.

Each time I see this I come more and more into the belief that you're making this so you can have certain perks instead of passion for whatever settings there are here.

Why didn't you take up the suggestions to split it up into individual jumps? Wouldn't that give a lot more focus to what makes these alternate histories...all that alternate? As is there's very little to it. Almost all the stuff that actually details the setting is just the intro stuff and the perks so far have next to nil info on these settings, something that's kind of necessary given you're using what seems to be OC alternate histories instead of just picking and choosing as the reader desires.

Basically, you need more detail, more fluff or to think about changing how you've set this out. If you can't be arsed with putting a fair deal more info in, you're probably going to want to change the intro/origin stuff so it's more generic. If not, you'll want to add some more info in the perks because setting info is real anemic here.

Best form for it is Haken form. Gotta love a lightning scythe.

To expand on why it's named Bardiche. The girl, Fate, has a terrible mother so when she gave her a polearm to go and fight for her with the only name she could come up with was Bardiche.

Shit wrong image!

Oh here it is!

I've completed all the perks of all backgrounds. I'm starting on items next.

I'm trying to correct it but some of the stuff is really vague. I'm really sorry but I am trying. I can't help if some of the settings have been done before but I think that having them all in one place is really cool. I'm sorry if you think otherwise.

Oh thank you. I know it's not that academic but I like to write so this is fun for me. I'm really happy you liked it.

...

Coulda been worse. Remember KiritoAnon?

Meh, I'm more of a fan of Graf Eisen. Unless you want to argue with a giant rocket propelled drill-hammer?

No.

>what relationships did you guys help kickstart?
Quite a few, in all honesty. Let's see...there was Mike and Eleven in Stranger Things. I swear, those two were so cute I couldn't help but pull strings so that they had a lot of moments together. I also obliterated the Demigorgon and exposed Dr. Brenner and his goons, so that they could be happy without worrying about the bad guys. Rescued Will as well, so the big beasties didn't notice him.

Then there was Danny and Sam in Danny Phantom. Those two were already head over heels with each other, but they were so insanely dense about it, especially Danny. I mean, one episode has them stuck in a dream machine where their wildest wishes come true. They have the same dream, where one of the biggest features is that they're dating. They know they had the same dream, with them dating, and they STILL didn't figure it out that the other person liked them. Everyone else, including the villains and the ever oblivious Jack Fenton knew it. I had to pair them up, not just because they'd be happy but because it was so insanely frustrating to watch their little dance.

Finally, there was Chrom and Robin. I've helped other relationships get started but this is one of my favourites. Not only are they happy together, but it's also the ultimate 'Fuck You' to Grima and his goons. Robin, his avatar, ends up falling in love with and marrying the descendant of the man who defeated him and sealed him away, who also carries the blood of his nemesis Naga. Their child ends up travelling back in time and completely derailing his plans, ultimately ending with his death thanks to Robin's sacrifice. And even if Grima was just sealed away, with the Grimleal destroyed and Robin's blood 'tainted' by Chrom's, there's no way Grima will ever return. His plans are completely and utterly fucked.

How could I forget? I'm not a man to judge another mans not gay traps but that was funny.

I don't see the issue? It's cute and topic appropriate.

I see you found Hayate's recruitment poster!

SAnon, please stop with the apologising, it's not helping either of us.

Your western setting is still extremely close to a generic we already have. it doesn't matter how cool you think it is, you need to make it more different. We have a western jump already, you need to seriously differentiate yours because right now, it's not. That's just one example. It's not helping that your Magical Era choice is really just Arcanum, another setting we have.

A lot of the critique also wasn't that vague. Your incredibly broken magic-tech combining upgrade perk is still there totally unaltered, despite the balance issues brought up. That's just one example as I don't think anything was changed that wasn't already posted in thread back then.

How would one change the TSAB uniform?

"This is a traditional Earth outfit. Just ask Hayate."
"Yep!"

Jump #382: Batman Beyond
>The Moon, reversed: Clarity, control and peace in troublesome times. The dawning of a new day.
>Location: Gotham City, 2040
>Identity: Legend
>Drawbacks: (+100) Epilogue, Old
Well, CruxCorp seems to still exist, if perhaps not as widespread as WayneTech is these days. Looks like I'm not much better off than Bruce these days.
>Impostor (Free, Legend)
Never hurts to be able to pretend to be someone else, no matter the circumstance.
>The Superstitious and Cowardly (1000, Legend)
Never hurts to be able to get the bearings quickly when things change unexpectedly.
>Some Punk Dressed Like Him (900, Legend)
Funny how wearing the right colors and holding myself the right way makes a difference.
>Project Beyond (700)
Oh, you thought that this was made strictly by Amanda Waller? No, no, mine was the mind behind this, so I could just throw nanites about and bring Earth to a new age. Just... not this Earth, that seems like a really terrible idea to make everyone regenerating magic users in THIS crapsack world.
>Old Friends (300)
Time was much kinder to my companions, it would seem.
>Costume (0)
Paying in 300 points gets me 600 for the costume.
>Costume Additions: Exoskeleton, Electronic Circuits, Communicator, Tracking Device, Voice Changer, Micro-finger Recorders, Electromagnetic Pads, Electronic Lockpick, Enhanced Optics, Flight Gear
600 points can go a long way. Sure, this costume's attributes alone wouldn't be as impressive at Batman's by a long shot... but if I merge it with my other armor? Quite effective, no doubt.

So, Batman's got himself a successor. That's certainly a nice thing. I'll have to make cameos, and go bug Bruce Wayne every so often, because frankly by the end of the Animated Series we'd made a habit of annoying each other in our civilian identities. In fact, it was something of a game between us. Rather hilarious in a way, and confused the hell out of the rest of the Bat-Family.

Really, Gotham is full of all kinds of weirdness. Changing the time frame really doesn't change the weirdness level much at all. Except for the radioactive guy. And, despite my best attempts... Bruce Wayne pretty much still ended up alone. Barbara Gordon left him after the fallout with Robin's capture and torture by the Joker.

Meanwhile, I'm going take a vacation, go find Ra's al Ghul, and beat him to death with my cane because restoring Bruce Wayne to youth only to take his body
over... that was definitely one of the more stupid plots he's had. While I'm at it, I'll probably make fun of his previous alliance with the (formerly immortal) Vandal Savage. Last I heard he got hoisted by his own petard and it turns out the immortal couldn't survive a meteor impact at ground zero. Either way, my companions can busy themselves in Gotham, meanwhile, finding ways to try to make the city less troublesome without putting on costumes. It'll make for good practice for later.

And if things get a little too out of hand... well, they're all full-blooded Kryptonians, and thanks to the companion imports, they have their own technopathy and telekinesis. Mini-jumpers in and of themselves at this point, they could probably survive the multiverse if they were cut loose in some strange world alone.

Let's just hope that never happens. I like keeping my family near.

Traps are gay.

Adding to what others are saying, you don't seem to have given much thought to balancing these many perklines. One 400 makes all my magic have a x10 range for no extra cost. That's great. Fantastic Another 400 lets me brainwash people in a couple weeks as long as I have the tools and facilities required. There's a rather big difference here. This might be a useful perk but it's vague, doesn't feel nearly as strong as the first despite both costing the same and so on. This sort of imbalance can be found throughout the entire jump, with some perks being super good and a lot of others being very generic, sometimes just giving skills, and seemingly not worth as much as some of their peers.

I need a jump that has a no companions drawback. May i have some suggestions?

>Western setting is extremely close to the generic
Not him, but how? The Generic Western jump is just that, Generic Western. Here, there are a lot of differences like the Mafia being powerful enough that nearly every person of interest has some connection to them, there are airships going through the sky, piracy is much more common both in the sea and in the air, and world war is about to start between America and Great Britain. That's way different from the Generic Western.

>Roll 1d8 for your Era or pay 50 CP to choose! The Era you get is what determines what background you can choose. If you chose Combined Era, choose two Eras except Combined Era or Free Pick.
Don't use settings/time periods as location rolls. That stuff needs to be free choice.

The background choice also needs to be free choice regardless of the era. People can be ahead or behind their time, Evil is ageless, and cowboys shall always ride!

And yet the entire cowboy line is what it is. Straight out of the same jump.

Wait. I've never heard of arcanum before, I've looked it up and it doesn't seem like it's similar, it's just a steampunk and magic world. Mine is different and that JumpChain is way too in progress to be compared to mine. I've got a +800 drawback for it as it says.

Folly of Invention +800(Mandatory for Magical Technology): All technology in this Jump is now incredibly dangerous and misused. For a couple of examples guns are used by criminals while police completely refuse to use them out of morals, trains 1/100th of the time fly off course and kill everyone but are used more, TV is used for brainwashing with subliminal messages and it does rot brains, engines that use coal pollute the world faster making global warming happen already, if space travel exists it is used by corporations as tax shelters and the colonies are full of slaves and the nuclear bomb is much more dangerous and tantalizing with it being used twice now. Did I mention that if you don't stop these, the world will turn into an apocalypse or worse apocalypse full of horrific immoral scientists?

Dude, stop whining and shut the fuck up.

>One 400 makes all my magic have a x10 range for no extra cost. That's great.
I mean, maybe if you really, /really/ want to snipe someone with that fireball, but all it does is moderately improve upon your existing capabilities. It's not /that/ much better than being an amazing brainwasher.

Samurai Jack

Are you talking about Wrangler? A 100 CP perk because that's the only perk I've seen that is similar to one of mine.

Wrangler: 100 CP, Free Cowboy:
After far too much time on the range and the trail, you've picked up some incredibly impressive skills at riding, wrangling, and pretty much anything else having to do with horses. Whether it's the endurance to ride 18 straight hours or the dexterity needed to ride backwards in the saddle while giving cover fire, you've got it down. You're also quite good at training horses, including odd tasks like coming with a whistle or refusing to balk even when even strange weaponry is fired off their backs. As an additional talent, you have some tricks with a lasso that might come in handy...

....okay, a couple issues.

Attaching a drawback to it doesn't balance it out. For one, none of the other origins get the same. Two, that drawback is neither worth 800 nor does it balance it out. It makes the world more dangerous but even if you don't do anything, it'll just make the world worse. There is zero clause about it necessarily endangering you.

Not to mention that frankly, the perk is so insanely good that it probably wouldn't be that hard to beat the drawback anyway. It makes any tech many thousands of times better. At least. The examples probably run into the tens of thousands or more.

About the only perk that I can see that's the same is Riding Through the Sunset, and even that does more then The Drifter from Generic Western. Hell, even Fastest Draw in the West is different, since that's a boost to reflexes and retailiation rather then simply letting you shoot faster. And what about the Pirate and Soldier origins?

>moderately
>amazing

Neither of those are true. A ten times multiplier for no cost is a vast increase in range. Being a good brainwasher as long as you have the proper facilities is nowhere as good. For one it takes weeks of work if you have the right location. It doesn't have any info on if you can use it at all if you don't have the right facilities. It's heavily conditional and takes a lot time compared to a big buff to all your magic, something you're likely to be using a lot if you go for the origin the perk is discounted to.

>What relationships did you guys help kickstart?
Actually, is this limited to romantic relationships? Because I fucked with the end of Samurai Jack enough to make sure that Jack adopted all seven of the girls, and then achieved the Good End.

>Good End
By that do you mean he stayed in the future, or he went to the past and somehow the future was preserved?

Alright. Fine I'll make it not an attached drawback even though some jumps do that.

Wonders of Magical Technology -600: The only good thing about magic is that it can create magical technology that can sometimes be even better than regular magic with the plus that it's immune to pulses. Any knowledge of technology you have can be augmented with magic to be much, much, much more efficient. A cloning vat could grow a body in hours when it took days previously, an old computer could be slightly better than a supercomputers from present day and more.

Does this sound fine?

You're gay!

Most jumps that do that don't have such a gigantic imbalance and the attached drawbacks are as severe as needed to justify the perk. The ones that don't are the ones you probably don't want to be looking to for examples

That's much better then what it was before, though I imagine you'll eventually get another round of looks at it later on.

You're half right. Traps are still gay. Never said I didn't like them though.

>pic
Tech support cannot help you with your software issue.

Why did you hurt that poor computer, user. What did it ever do to you?

He got back to the past with the girls in tow. I ensured that things were meddled with in such a way that the girls still existed before they went up against Aku, because Stars And Stones is the best perk to remove the drawbacks that come with one's nature. For instance... surviving the fact that you are going to retroactively erase yourself with time travel and the grandfather paradox. Might lose your special powers, sure, but you don't cease to exist.

For the magic range booster depending on what you've taken before, sure it can be OP. But I haven't memorized every single jump and it's ranges.

I guess you could say a proper facility is where they have no contact with the outside world AKA a solitary cell, so I've changed the perk to match that.

I'm...pretty sure that's not how Stars and Stones works, but okay. That's a Good Ending. Best Ending is if you kill preserve both futures, kill Future Aku and Past Aku, and let both live in peace.

I have enough other powers that have to do with time and/or space that I figured I could fudge it. Besides, it makes for a good story, and the narrative always trumps the crunch.

Eh, fair enough.

>Best Ending

Honestly, I was hoping that to be the canon ending with the implication of Multiverse Theory for people clever enough to understand, because Future Aku has time to say "Oh No" when Jack goes to the past which, realistically in a straight Time Travel effect, wouldn't happen.

Yeah, but if that's the case then that means that Future Aku is also still alive, since Jack didn't kill him. In order for that timeline to exist, Aku would have to still exist. It's like Dragon Ball, where Trunks going back in time didn't erase his future, it created a new one. If he killed the Androids in the past, they'd still be around in his future. So if that theory is true, then Future Aku probably slaughtered everyone and went back to ruling the world again.

*Bangs head against wall*
No, I was being poetic.
Like, note that even though this isn't the wild west anymore, some few actual, real life cowboys do exist.

Changelog 1.3

Added 200 CP across the board to the bonus CP that every Secret Identity gets.

[Fortress of Solitude] gets a new sunstone at the start of each jump.

[Super Dickery] is now free for those that take the Hubris drawback.

Added [Empathy] a little perk to help promote understanding.

Added [Teleportation]

Added [Apparitions]

Buffed [For The Love Of My Friends], the Journalist Capstone. Relevant text: Furthermore, the isolation and loneliness that you have experienced due to your journey will be a thing of the past because these friends will always be perfectly suited to understand you, regardless of your circumstances.

Replaced [Protect and Serve], the Officer Capstone and [Sworn Enemies], the CEO Capstone. As far as I can tell no one cared about these perks, probably because they were boring as hell and not that great.

Added [Solitary Genius] as the CEO Capstone.

Added [Truth, Justice, and The American Way] as the Officer Capstone.

Changed [Kryptonian Physiology] and [New God Physiology] to make you an actual member of those races from the background. This is pretty much how it worked before but I didn't put any flavor into it.

Slightly buffed [New God Physiology]. Hopefully the aspect part and actually making you a New God will make it more interesting.

Changed the way drawbacks are capped to be 1000 CP.

Added Orion, who I'm told fights for Earth.

Added Kalibak, who's childhood nickname was "disappointment".

And then probably devised a spell to kill Ashi through time and give Jack no reason to find a method to enter the future to kill him again.

>tfw when you accidentally grimdark one of your favorite shows with logic.

>Alright. Fine I'll make it not an attached drawback even though some jumps do that.
I think you need to understand that people do it with reasons in mind, and just saying that other people do it as a precedent isn't very good justification.

How do we know that the monitor isn't to blame? The monitor could be a zombie and is eating all of the electronic devices it can get.

But I literally just made a build for this...!

Sigh.

Rebuilding.

You know Aku would never stop fucking with Jack though, so he has to be dead if he's still not tormenting him.

In that case, tech support definitely cannot help with the software issue.

What are some good sitcoms to go to for Sitcom jump?

The jump says you can't use these to game for power, but I'd especially be interested in places I could pick up unique souvenirs, foods or beverages, TV shows or any place with a working internet I could forcibly record/download.

It's a long journey through the multiverse.

Oh, right, I'm reminded. I know it's a dumb question, but seeing how The Jumpers get extra CP when you spend extra - it's two to one, so they get 400 extra points if you spend 200 extra points, right? Hence going from 800 to 1200 points?

I don't think a 200cp perk like Super Dickery should be given for free by taking a drawback. it really takes away a bit form the drawback if you get a bonus for it.

Truth Justice and the American Way is not good for a capstone, especially compared to your other new capstone. Truth feels closer to 200 maybe.

I mean, in fairness Samurai Jack is fairly grimdark on its' own. An immortal demon who is literally pure evil rules the galaxy with an iron fist, gleefully committing atrocities for no other reason then he thinks it's fun. The only things standing in his way is a single Samurai warrior, a Scotsman, and some small resistance groups here and there. Two of those aren't even threats to him, and the first wouldn't be a threat without his magic sword. Before Jack showed up, there was no hope of ever being free of Aku. The only reason we don't see this darkness is because Jack IS around, and because there's plenty of light hearted moments to be found, even Aku acts goofy sometimes.

He could just be waiting for Jack to get old and then fuck with him.

>I have lived a long life...now, I can die peacefully-
>NO YOU CAN'T, FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

Could I convince you to make Elemental Kinesis a 600 CP? Other than being a pantsless couch afficienado, the eyebeams are what I remember most about Darkseid.

Alf.

If you have it No Fate but What We Make from Terminator seems like it should work.

>Since we don't have a Thread Question yet, what relationships did you guys help kickstart?
RinXLuvia during Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya

Yes that is exactly correct.

Probably not. I just don't think Livewire level elemental manipulation is worth less than 800 CP.

Fair point about Super Dickery. It was originally going to be free just for CEO's that took that drawback and I might change it back to that. It was meant to make up for the fact that CEO's capstone is terrible for people that have a lot of companions.

I was kind of afraid that Truth, Justice and the American Way might not be good enough. I'll probably work on buffing that tomorrow.

>I was kind of afraid that Truth, Justice and the American Way might not be good enough. I'll probably work on buffing that tomorrow.
Personally I think people are underestimating Captain Marvel's best super power. But I guess that's just me.

The group import option, please make it free at the base level, letting you import up to 8 companions with a free identity. And then you can spend CP to give each twice the CP you spent on the option (spending 100 CP here gives each companion 200 CP, spending 400 CP gives each companion 800 CP)
It's the system KOTOR and some others use,and it works well.

The OC companions
>Intern
could use the Journalist identity to be able to spend CP in the journalist capstone ir items.
Also locking the CP for super powers prevents them from buying perks like empathy.

>Personal Assistant
Could use CEO identity for discount purposes.

>Partner
Could use Officer identity for discount purposes.

Why on earth should an import be free? Especially when you can give them a tonne of CP for cheap too.

I'll look at the group import option to see if I like it. I kinda don't like to just copy stuff like that though.

Everything else you wrote were deliberate choices I made for balance or flavor purposes.

Personal Assistant will absolutely not use the CEO identity for discounts, that goes against the entire design.

>I don't think a 200cp perk like Super Dickery should be given for free by taking a drawback
Wow, you are already a superdick.

>Fair point about Super Dickery
Honestly Super dickery felt like a 50 CP flavor perk jacked in price to a 200 CP one. And yeah, actually using it sounds like its own drawback.

>Solitary Genius is reduced to 10% effectiveness when you have any close relationships with people that you treat as equals or superiors. So you can have companions and the perk will still work at full effectiveness, provided you treat them like subordinates. You can even have a spouse and family members as long as they know who’s in charge. The guideline is basically this: if Lex would tolerate that relationship then it won’t interfere with the perk. So it will always work if you’re already a domineering, controlling, self-centered jerk.

No, don't make Capstones that are traps that force you to act a certain way to work.

>traps
It reduces just the perk. Nothing else. Try to actually make an argument instead of blindly using buzzwords. Reading the actual thing you're quoting helps. He's quite clear how it works.

I imagine you wouldn't complain if he'd written it the opposite way, where it gets ten times stronger if you act that way, huh?

>Added Kalibak, who's childhood nickname was "disappointment".
Childhood name? Darkseid has yet to be impressed.

It worked when they did that in WoW after all.

I never said that Kalibak outgrew his nickname. Heck, his dear old Granny calls him that all the time!

>Especially when you can give them a tonne of CP for cheap too.
Hello there Timmy the Shitposter!
No, this is actually the EXPENSIVE import option. 1 cp you spend for 2 cp they get is the high end. spending 400 CP to give them 800 CP is NOT cheap at all.

200 CP to import 8 companions with 600 CP is more average.

>Why on earth should an import be free?
Because all the free version does is give them a history and legal identity, keeping them from being homeless bums who might blow a non Drop-In Jumper's cover identity?

Huh. Cool. Thought you were dead.

You working on anything else at the moment?