/wfg/ - Warhammer Fantasy General: Making New Friends edition

>wychelf
>wardancer
>shadow warrior
Can you survive the foursome?

I die well.

I hate what you all have done to me

I pinch.

I WILL TRY.

Agreed, they have good comedic potential. I just wish writers would use them for something other than stale "musk of fear" jokes.

...

>Squeekskratch resisted the urge to squirt the musk of fear

Not sure which was worse in the G&F books - that in the early ones or Ulrika in the later ones.

>your screenshot becomes a OP image on a completely different board
That's new.

it was a good screenshot.

>be bretonnian peasant and lose limb for lord
>get a single copper coin he immediately takes back for taxes
>happy
>be empire peasant
>get paid for my work
>can travel around
>unhappy
Chivalry wins again.

...

bane will never be serious again.

>those dubs

He was always a large man in a funny mask. /tv/ didn't help much though.

>those dubs.

scribd.com/document/320490990/Krask

Unsurprisingly it was in my history.

plz dont bully

Yeah I might aswell do that:

If anyone's interested regarding the success of me trying out a large unit of forsaken (which I jammered on about a couple of threads ago) I played a game today with my WoC vs Empire.

It went much better than expected and allthough I lost the game (fucking Watchtower am I right?) I pretty much massacred his army. My Forsaken, with the assistance of a Chariot of Nurgle, was quite helpful and took out a decent block of Greatswords in two rounds. The real champion of my army was however my Chaos Lord. Armed with the Hellfire Sword he pretty much singlehandedly took out a Steamtank which he followed up by putting some real hurt to a unit of 10 Knights of the Inner Circle and a block of 40 Halberdier men.

Here's the armylist I was using:

++ Standard (Warriors of Chaos - Army Book (2013-4) -V8.8.0.) [2498pts] ++

+ Uncategorised +

- Army Size: Army (0-2999 points)

+ Lords +

Chaos Sorcerer Lord [379pts]: Barded Chaos Steed, Lore of Nurgle, Mark of Nurgle, Wizard Level 4
. Magic Items: BRB - Charmed Shield, BRB - Dispel Scroll, BRB - Talisman of Preservation

Chaos Lord [384pts]: Barded Chaos Steed, Mark of Nurgle, Shield
. Chaos Mutations & Powers: Flaming Breath, Soul Feeder
. Magic Items: AB - Hellfire Sword, BRB - Talisman of Endurance

+ Heroes +

Exalted Hero [217pts]: Barded Chaos Steed, Battle Standard Bearer, Halberd, Mark of Nurgle
. Magic Items: AB - Helm of Many Eyes, BRB - Dawnstone

+ Core +

Chaos Chariot [125pts]: Mark of Nurgle

Chaos Chariot [125pts]: Mark of Nurgle

Chaos Warhounds [30pts]: 5x Chaos Warhound

Chaos Warhounds [30pts]: 5x Chaos Warhound

Forsaken [378pts]
. 18x Forsaken: 18x Forsaken of Slaanesh

+ Special +

Chaos Trolls [210pts]: 6x Chaos Troll

Chimera [275pts]: Flaming Breath, Regenerating Flesh

Chaos Knights [345pts]: Champion, Musician, Standard Bearer
. 7x Chaos Knight: 7x Ensorcelled weapons, 7x Mark of Nurgle

++ Total: [2498pts] ++

How cheesy would you consider it?

>getting curious and listening to Viol music

So good.

No, but I don't need to. I'll die well.

He used to be a straight up super-luchador.

...

That is not Durthu UNACCEPTABLE!

...

the fact that he was played by a manlet and the plane scene will forever be a part of human heritage.

It was impressive how they managed to have every single shot have something wrong with it.
That takes a special kind of skill.

Genuinely took a moment to make sure this wasn't Loss.

The bretonnian peasant is happy with their lot because, for them, there exists no other lots and the very possibility of such is as foreign to them as willingly and happily fucking a human is to an elf.

The empire peasant, as you said, gets paid and can travel around. As such, they are made keenly aware of the fact that they are at the bottom of the shitpile.

Ignorance truly is bliss.

It's kind of scary if you think about it, even if I think GW never really thought too deeply about it. It's got a North Korea-esque feel to it, only if North Koreans were actually happy.

>willingly and happily fucking a human
Well there was that one time.
Actually it seems more bretonnian peasants are raised to knighthood than elves treat human like people. Let alone fuck them.

In general, Bretonnia is also safer, has better weather, and has more fertile land. Even with many lords being shit, Bretonnian peasants do alright.

Not to mention all their magic shotas get kidnapped by fairies for /ss/ with elves.
Oh wait that's a negative point, kidnapping children.

look at that smug beastman

Bretonnia to me is in a weird spot where I'm not sure if it's amazingly, completely fucked up but still somehow working, or a relative paradise despite everything around it fucking up.

I think that's part of why so many people like it - for all the ways that it's backwards and cruel and wrong, you can point out a lot of ways that it's good or kind or awesome.

Is Kerilian an Asrai weirdo for treating Kruber and Sienna as almost equals?

I dunno, having an elf keeping me as a sex pet seems like a pretty good deal, even if I am eventually sacrificed to bring their gay furry king out of his winter slumber.

Yes. Humans aren't people, they're just dumb oafs that breed fast and can get in the way of danger.

do they actually sacrifice magical shotas?

They sacrifice adult males, there just also happens to be a bunch of little boys who live forever in Athel Loren.

What else would they do? They're too slow and weak to provide enough fun to hunt.

I think it's important to note that Bretonnians are not stupid, and will circumvent the rules of chivalry shamelessly. The 'no cannons save but over water' rule? Put a bucket under the gun. The 'no mercenaries' rule? Hire 'shepherds' to watch a single sheep, 'lose' money in the paymaster's tent. Women want to fight? You fool, that's no woman, I've known Ser Renault all my life.

I imagine even the tax burden varies greatly. A lord is entitled to nine-tenths, but it seems likely that a smart lord would "generously" gift back a large portion of "his" right.

Yes, but especially for saying Bardin would be welcome to visit Athel Loren and apparently meaning it. That is absurdly rare.

You can pay off grudges but very few go for them. I don't even know if the writers remember you can pay gold instead of blood.

I don't think it's ever actually made clear. It's hinted in End Times that males kidnapped are used as servants, and there's another bit of lore where apparently they're made into Grail Knights larping as Silver Helms, at the Lady of the Lake's beck and call. The sacrificial idea is new to me, and I don't think I've seen it hinted at in any lore, but I wouldn't be surprised by it.

Probably fair to say that it's a mix of all three, because there's probably been generations upon generations of boys to work with, and the silvery Grail Knights are implied to have been kept around for hundreds of years, and the servants could easily also be so with how Athel Loren can fuck with time, so even if a lot are sacrificed you wouldn't have to lose out on the other two.

Truth is, we don't know, hence the jokes. They might be used for breeding stock (for Bretonnian humans, not elves), they might be used in the ritual to awaken Orion (Asrai are dickish enough for that), hell, the 'sex pet' gag might even be true.

Never forget that Bretonnia enjoys the full backing of one of the most active and present gods around. That's not a small thing to have and the Lady isn't at all miserly with her gifts and blessings. One must earn them, as is only right, but they exist and seem to be both potent and reliable.

Will Araby look like pic related?

Lady schbitchface. Just cover her land in fire and at worse she'll be upset because you broke her toy.

Quite likely. Just needs a sign that says "SETTRA, WE DIDN'T DO IT" on their borders.

Needs more slaves.
Araby is skaven tier in its needs for slaves.

That kind of rule-bending shit because reality doesn't always fit with the rules always gets me hard as fuck when I see it in a setting, and it's a really good thing to have to help explain any apparent stupidity. It still sucks that you can't get mercenaries for the Brets on the tabletop, but I guess that's a sacrifice you have to make.

As far as taxes, I know that sometimes lords will allow Herrimaults to steal back a portion of the taxes, or the villagers will manage it themselves and claim outlaws stole it - the lords will chase the outlaws. And I know that if a lord is in debt, a rich merchant will 'gift' him a trinket of some value as part of some festival, which will quietly be returned to the merchant and regifted another year. Or something like that. I can't find the lore on it offhand, and it seems like a confusing scenario to my mind.

A lot of people love their dogs fiercely, others adore their cats or dote on their horses. But going so far as to treat them like people, real, actual people, is a step too far for the vast majority of us and those who do so are invariably seen as weirdos. Fucking them is unthinkable for nearly everyone even if we know some sick fucks go around doing it.

Myrmidia actually teaches people how to fix their own shit.
Winning battles through superior planning and firepower >>>> elf wankery.

That looks like Ind if anything.

>obvious hindu gods
No.

Actually, the peasants of Quenelles are known for traveling, at least within the Duchy. They encourage children to grow up in one village, get married and move to another village, then finally wind up in another village for their forage. They're not exactly worldly, but they're not going to think the world ends outside their village, either.

Dogs and cats don't have their own civilisation and aren't sapient. Plus love doesn't always have to be sexual in nature.

Yeah, that's definitely Ind.

There are even Grail Knights who pose as Herrimaults so that they can go after politically powerful lords that are corrupt, or worse.

>Dogs and cats don't have their own civilisation and aren't sapient
To an elf the same can be said of humans.

Qucik. Redpill me on Asrai. Are they really fuked up or are they having a great time with hunting human children, fighting beastmen and chilling in Athel Loren?

Okay

Kushan is an indo-greek kingdom, so maybe, if you cut out some of the indian stuff.

Araby is in a bit of a weird place in the warhammer world. It's nowhere near Ind and it's also nowhere near Kislev, despite the Middle East having cultural ties to both Russia and India.

>chilling
But yeah they have it good. Except when hordes of undead, beastmen, or orcs come by.

>The 'no cannons save but over water' rule?

Doesn't exist.

Only if they're ignorant of the definition of civilization.

No, it really can't.

>to an elf
yeah. the high elf cuck that got shot down with his dragons and his forces crushed by the empire sure felt glad that he hadn't lost to sapient foes.
>indo-greek-steppenigger culture
>cut out the biggest cultural component.

>caring about the inferior human version of what they consider culture

Well, it'd be pretty fucking weird if Araby was Indian themed despite Ind existing.

>the high elf cuck that got shot down with his dragons and his forces crushed by the empire
Where was this?
I want to read it.

That's exactly the point. There IS a culture. Elves may consider it inferior, but to deny its existence would be inane. Cats and dogs do not have sapience or a culture.

They'd have closer ties to Cathay (China) because of their constant trade.
Maybe some of their culture and tech rubbed off.

Come on user, there's only so far that people can possibly imagine sapience above or below them. Elves aren't really on that higher a plane of existence than humans, not in the same way that humans are above dogs.

Can any Dwarf rival pic related's beard?

Just as I'm sure the hunter that found himself being eaten by a tiger felt glad he hadn't lost to sapient foes. The reality of things is utterly irrelevant because the only thing that matters to the elves is what the elves believe about the matter.

Challengin' a dawi's beard? That's a grudgin'.

>There IS a culture
No there isn't, it's just humans.

>elves don't have floppy hats, giant codpieces and artillery.
>call others uncultured.
Reminder that artillery adds dignity to your battles.

They're obviously Al-Andalusian, or Moors. Ummayads, Almoravads, whatever you want them to be - they were distinct enough from the rest of the Islamic world for most of their history, and the latter group came from the native people rather than from Arabic outsiders.

So imagine that the Arabyans got bits of Tomb Kings culture, and then the Tomb Kings seem to completely collapse and turn into a horrible undead land. You still have some of their ideas about study and higher culture, but they're no longer culturally dominant so you develop your own traditions, such as something vague about a One God that was probably just reverence for a past ruler that got kicked up a notch.

You know, you could just cite some sources on how elves view humans. Just saying.

Only the difference is that the elves lost to an organized and effective military. You cannot have that without civilisation which again requires sapience.

Oh yeah, harvesting crops, art, and education all just happen naturally.

Typical ignorant elf.

>eating grass
>smearing shit on the wall
>howling like monkeys
You have as much culture as an annoying cow.

>bowl cut
>cultured
Empire confirmed for trash plebs

I'd die

but I'd probably enjoy it still

With a big enough hat, Ganishka can make a great Chaos Dorf.

I bet the elves were doing the howling when they got outgunned by a battery of nuln great cannons.

you have to go back over the other side of the grey mountains breton

Just get all three pregnant and you're good.

Elves could be aware of all of this and still find humans and their civilization vastly inferior to theirs while viewing the idea of fucking them as disgusting deviance done by sick individuals.

>muh guns
That's some high tier autism.

Some of the early background specifically mentions that they're the equivalent of the Ottoman Turks. Then again, that is really old background.

I wouldn't mind if they were a bit Berber/Tuareg inspired, although it's obvious they have some proper Arabic and Persian influences too.

at which point the entire comparison to cats and dogs falls apart.

More like long ranged autism. five centuries of carefully practiced bowcraft isn't a match for heavy artillery.

ottomans you say.