What is the best job in the imperium?

>Put in life support for 10 thousand years to slowly rot away in agony

No Thanks.

>implying the emperor isnt hooked up to a webway 10000 screen rts console playing civilization:imperium in real time

He is the worst civ player ever then

100% agreed, titan pilot sounds both compfy and exciting as fuck
But really, serving in any big vehicle like a baneblade or leviathan would be great especially as a renegade

i bet you have 1000+ hours on papers please

>Archmagos Archimandrite

This, literally above the law (imperial decree ain't applied to the worlds under the protection of mars) and the only thing that can fuck you over is tech heresy or political backstabbing by your fellow archmagos should you decide to stray into someones own field of interests.

Office jobs are best because 40k was obviously designed by a library scientist. The entire setting reeks of someone who just spent 6 hours cataloging photos of a small bush and sometimes a wall and asked
>what if my job mattered?
Until you have worked in an archive you cannot imagine how hard 40k resonates with us.

I would not go for Titans if comfy is required. There's a whacking great machibe spirit tearing at your mind trying to subsume your will into her RAGE, which is why only one in a hundred million can actually handle being a Princeps or Moderati. Go for the onboard techpriest, who mostly just has to look at readouts and change Void Shield fuses physically, everything else is done at the speed of thought in the Manifold. You get the great views, the crushing your enemies, the safety and enough glory to attract your preferred sex in considerable numbers but don't suffer brain damage slowly over time or from taking significant battle damage. Only augments the FW one seems to have visually is two servo-arms, anyway, and having four hands and a cutting torch on hand at all times has gotta be handy when you're chilling on ships or ports between deployments, anyway.

>Not Knight pilot
>Literally a big shot back on your feudal world, meaning you can probably pick up some peasant girls every day and live in a big ass castle
>Can just stay on your world "defending" it against beasts and protecting the peasants against idiot raiders who think they can go toe to toe with your machine of war with their shitty bows and arrows
>When you eventually get bored of stomping shit covered peasants you can travel to another world to kill some shit covered heretics
>One man machine, meaning you get your mech all to yourself
>Can actually retire and live a life of luxury
Also you can be chivalrous as fuck.

Any job where you get shot at is automatically disqualified as best job in the Imperium.

Rogue Trader. Assuming you have absolutely no qualms or morales.

>Work at the one place where people don't fuck with you.
Being an inquisitor would be extremely baller.

Being a rando who lives on one of the nice backwater planets somewhere in the imperium that has never experienced any of the wars the imperium is a part of and who will live their entire life simply and humbly with a nice family and spouse.

Nah, connecting and disconnecting to a Titan is agonising, and fucks your health to the point where you have to live the rest of your life in a tank and permenantly connected later in your career.

True best job is Knight pilot.

Get you badass mech, but also all the benefits of being a medieval noble, with the added benefits of a sci-fi noble added in so you don't die from a rotten tooth aged 35.

Peasants worship you like a demi-god, they'll be queuing up for dat primae nocta after watching you decapitate some ravening xeno-beast and you get to chill out in your castle doing noble shit whenever you're not being heroic.

Throne Mechanicum will give you some resistance to Chaos corruption too, through the Power of Noble Ancestry™.

Being an inquisitor would be an insane nightmare of trying not to be killed by your political rivals and trying not to be killed by unceasing unimaginable evil.

The food would be terrible though.

Knights can die easily though

Even the war hound is nuts

And you are a high ranking member of the admech

A Custodes answers to NOBODY but the Emperor (and maybe Guilliman if he asks nicely) and is above ANY law. You would be to space marines what space marines are to guardsmen. You would have the best equipment you can ever want. You are functionally immortal. And the best of all? You would love your job. Why wouldn't you? You get to guard the Emperor himself.

Titan Pilots usually end up with metal disabilities.The MIU

In the novel, Titanicus (forget the guys name), there is a former Titan Pilot who is more or less only capable of being a groups keeper who has to be taken care of by someone.
Also they can just go bat shit insane. Or end up with Locked In Syndrome.

Fuck THAT, I want to be at least some variant of ageless or preserved ans do some kind of actually interesting stuff. We've been handed a galaxy with this opportunity, at least see a bit of it.

This is probably your best bet for that kind of chill life while still being a badass worth slapping with Juvenats. Might have to sleep in your Knight to get out of the cold though, proper castles aren't warm unless they're choked with smoke at the same time.
You wouldn't have to do a huge amount of actually dangeous fighting given unless there's Titans and Baneblade companies around a Knight Lance is gonna do a pretty good job of not dying, and you could always be in the garrison for the homeworld and spend your combat time smacking down bears and bandits instead. Peasants love you, get sone respect from the Barons too if you keep everything ticking over and running smoothly even at the "cost" of not risking your life for glory and you won't be killed.

Because he is trying a war victory when everyone else is already doing that, with chaos coming from behind with a cultural victory.

Why? You can get delicacies shipped from anywhere on an entire planet or if you're a particularl influential household, offworld too.

You're pretty well protected as far as regular humans go and valuable enough you won't be assigned to really expendable duties like rearguard against Tyranid invasions.

If an evacuation is being ordered, the Knights are going to be just behind the Titans in terms of priority.

Not all Knights are AdMech either and even the AdMech ones have a much greater degree of autonomy than most servants of the Omnissiah. You're not going to get nerve-stapled.

>Might have to sleep in your Knight to get out of the cold though, proper castles aren't warm unless they're choked with smoke at the same time.
>Implying you can't get your Sacristans to hook you up with some double glazing and electric heaters

Anything where your rich.

Seriously, one of the Imperium's most consistent elements is an extreme imbalance in the social strata. If you're the scion of a noble house, you can just kick back and drink amasec all day unless daddy insists that you get a job. And even then, you're pretty much guaranteed something soaked in safety, luxury and power.

Navy captain, rogue trader, planetary lord. None of these things actually require you to be good at your job, just not awful or heretical. Of course, you'll be held in high regard by the Imperium if you were, and you took your job seriously. But it's not required. You can just be an ass in a chair and a name on the paperwork, living a cushy life until retirement.

Up to the Horus Heresy, Big E had the job with the highest /amenities/, it was also the hardest managerial job in the Imperium.

It was even worse since he had to handle family members on his staff, a good half of them were determined to have a problem with one another, making interdepartmental drama worse and something you couldn't just leave at work.

It's a toss up between archmagos and assassin temple leader

Both have high life expectancies, one has sexy assassins and the other sexy machines

Whatever you think is better

Isn't sleeping with the temple neophytes...well, not heretical, but a serious violation of workplace ethics?

Peasants make terrible cooks and the palette of a medieval world would be limited.

Aside from the afformentioned mind related problems if an engagement requires the use of titans of collegia titanica be prepared to fight very very hard.
If it was a piece of cake job where you sit at the tower and point at things that you want dead they would not have requested the titans in the first place.
The best job would be using knights.

WARNING THIS POST IS HERETICAL SCRAP-CODE I JUST LOST A COGNAE SERVITOR TO THIS GROX-SHIT

DON'T READ THE CODE.

Inquisitor.
It's basicaly a " do what i want and get away with it" card.

Its basicaly i will either get blown up by my fellow inquisitors someday or get blown up with warp chakra magic.

>get away with it
Until you step on someones toes without realizing it and are punished with a horrific death. "Inquisitors have unlimited power" is a meme that needs to die.

>Fuck THAT, I want to be at least some variant of ageless or preserved ans do some kind of actually interesting stuff

And die in some insane, agonizing way in some miserable shithole? Nah, the safe, easy life is the best bet.

Being the young priest brother assigned to the Sisters of Battle.

Somebody post that image

>ork snipers
I bet the inquisitor who fabricated this cover story chuckles himself to sleep every night.

An Inquisitor's "power" comes from his massive amount of contacts and favors owed. Sure his shiny badge means he can boss anyone around, but like a Commissar's cap, it won't stop him from being the receiving end of an "accidental" friendly fire in combat. A good inquisitor worked long and hard for his web on influences.

So what kind of things would a good and loyal emperor-worshiping inquisitor need to do to curry "favours" from an Imperial pleasure world? Specifically, if said Inquisitor was looking for acolytes particularly skilled in testing Imperial bed mattresses during long journeys through the warp?

I'm pretty sure the office HR department didn't make it to the grim darkness of the 41st millennium.

TOO LATE!

Adeptus Custodes

The sad thing about being an inquisitor is 1 you have a responsibility(unlike nobles) 2 you have a dangerous job(unlike the ad mech) 3 you aren't/don't have a giant fighting machine

Something's are nice(like knowing about chaos) and others aren't

>The food would be terrible though.
you fucking w0t m8?

>you have a responsibility
Unless you choose some really obscure Ordo to settle down in like the Ordo Astra or Ordo Scriptus.

Rogue Trader.

I support this job

Grey knights would be great

I don't know why you keep harping on how medieval food is bad, but that's a pretty good trade-off all things considered. Besides, I'm pretty sure it's canon that grox meat is actually quite scrumptious.

Same author?

>even more sexless warrior monk than the rest of the sexless warrior monks
Oh yeah, fucking awesome.

Not really. Even most "regular" space marines are condemned to a life of nonstop war and near-religious vigilance, but the grey knights take that to whole another level fighting daemons that every other branch of the Imperium either died fighting against or just ran away from. At least the armour is cool.

>tfw some noble has a fetish for fatties and/or scat
Have fun with that.

>Planetary Governor
can do literally anything you want. just don't let the inquisitors find out

>Like five thousand other inbred nobles trying to off you and take your job
>Also underground genestealer cults trying to off you
>And Chaos cults undermining your planet
>The only force you have to protect yourself with are Imperial Guard rejects and maybe mercenaries you hire who are probably going to run the moment trouble starts
Shit would be stressful

Planetary governor
youtube.com/watch?v=ekVHtA8PQkA

dealing with those problems are what subordinates are for

Also them muscles and oil.

>Like five thousand other inbred nobles trying to off you and take your job
This is why you have assassins

>Also underground genestealer cults trying to off you
Thats a big "if" you even have an infestation

>And Chaos cults undermining your planet
Some jackass masturbates with sandpaper and summons a daemon or two, small drop in a planet sized bucket

>The only force you have to protect yourself with are Imperial Guard rejects and maybe mercenaries you hire who are probably going to run the moment trouble starts
Depends entirely on how many friends you have in the Imperium and how important your planet is strategically. Some planetary governors have space marines protecting them
Also Adeptus Arbites

>This is why you have assassins
Hope you're not the lowest bidder.

>Thats a big "if" you even have an infestation
If your planet is located anywhere near Ultima Segmentum, you can bet your ass it's infested.

>Some jackass masturbates with sandpaper and summons a daemon or two
Depending on how hard he came, those could be some serious semen demons.

>Some planetary governors have space marines protecting them
Sounds more like bad fanfiction/writing to me.

>Adeptus Arbites
Top kek

don't forget the Orders Famulous

>Orders Famulous
They don't take an oath of celibacy, right? Asking for a friend.

for the millionth time, Sisters of Battle do NOT take on vows of chastity.

Right answer. Don't be lured in by that fun and glory and 'I'm finally strong and popular' BS. Remember what this setting is known for; opt for stable and mundane and thus a higher chance to dodge the bullet.

Then be a archmagos on a planet as far from the eye of terror/warp rift/tyranides as possible.

You get the security, the crazy tech, and the defense of the skitarii

Harlon Nayl

Am chosen/bred for my ability to interface with the psuedo-ai of a machine built entirely around the principle of hubris and destruction.
Connect my consciousness to what is essentially the stunted child mind of this machine (along with the echoes/artifacts of the previous pilots.)
Willingly enter a kind of schizophrenia partnered with a churning mass of shallow but powerful emotions with a cocktail of all the other impressions that have tried to do this with varying degrees of success.
Maintain absolute control of this machine and yourself simultaneously because at best failure means death, at worst a walking battleship/firebase/murdermountain will run amok.

Solid retirement plan though, so I can see where you're coming from

Good choice.

Nobody said High Lord of Terra?

Oh Emperor no, you got to go to meetings with some idiots every day.

Rogue Trader. You fly around the galaxy while having your underlings figure out ways to make you money.

Knight pilot is the the objectively correct answer here. Even the downside of having to follow insanely strict and/or bizarre rules and rituals can be sidestepped by simply saying 'fuck that!' and going Freeblade.

It's far better than being a Titan pilot in my opinion and handily beats being any kind of Space Marine by giving you most of what you'd want from here>high on the totem
>get to order niggas around
>get the cool wargear
>still get to go out and fight on the regular, don't have to sit around and do bureaucracy as much
While still able to simply leave your demi-god machine and fucking whatever piece of ass strikes your fancy.

Also know that while they live on Feudal worlds, Knight worlds can just as well have access to advanced tech. Whether they decide to share it with the peasants is another matter.

Imperial masturbator?
>I COME TO YOU OH HOLY EMPEROR

Yeah, Flick, his signature is towards the bottom right of both.
Right now he'd grown some hair and boned a Sister with his Emperor blessed schlong so she could bust their way out of a dungeon.
Except he got separated and is currently trapped by Dark Eldar.

Way too much political intrigue.

Is that even a thing now that Bobby G is back?

Can you pick up chicks in a knight? It doesn't seem like there's a lot of room in there.

Sister Famulous

>Not involved in combat
>Represent the most powerful institution in the Imperium
>Wear effay outfits (sometimes involving a candle hat)
>Spend most of your time socialising
>Terrify nobles with your mere presence
>Have the power to majorly influence politics on a planetary level

I'm afraid I have to go with nameless paper pusher #183739836282

They're still around, Guill is just making sure their seats are taken by people who actually know what they're doing, and offing those who don't.

Farmer on some out of the way agriworld no-one cares about, where you can tend your giants lizard cows without getting murderaped by crazy space wizards or eaten by a galaxy sized locusts swarm.

Duck your grim derp Im a cowboy.

You say that now, but wait till the Feral boyz show and steal your cattle.

And if those feral boyz turn into Deffskulls, next time they'll come back and steal your whole damn house.

They won't even bother killing you, they're just here to LOOT ALL DA FINGS!

And no one will come to save you because hey, you're on some out-of-the way agriworld no one cares about.

Give me position of Planetary Governor of newly established planet.

One which was just given to Imperial Regiment after Crusade.

I would have free reign on turning this planet into effective fortress world. Give me Mechanicus and make deals one how they have free reign silently advance technology on Polar Fortresses, freely build new weapons.

I get to fuck, have people who still are loyal to the Governor, before decandence ruins it all and I have civil war and Inquisition in my hands.

Are there any 40k mods for any of the Civilization games?

yeah with the giant hand, idiot

>Freeblade

This.

>Futuristic, grimdark, knight-errant beholden to none but thy Emperor and thyself.

Just because they can't make "fancy" food doesn't mean they can't make delicious food.

A roasted rack of lamb ribs with some herbs for flavour may not be high cuisine but it's damn tasty, especially if you've been out in a battlefield all day hunting beasts or dodging artillery shells.

Cowlizard-boys gonna round up a posse and teach them cowlizard rustling red(green) skins a lesson.

Tell that to the whole planets that get lost for centuries at a time due to misfiled paperwork... and then get their asses kicked by the imperium for failing to pay their tithes.

Working as a scribe in the bowels of a Administratum Hive.

It's safe, reliable, indoors work, and you're unlikely to ever get shot for any reason.

>implying a posse of cowlizard-boys could ever stand a chance against them cowlizard rustling greenskins in the first place

Depending on the planet, you could also order Titan legions around