Be sitting at my apartment

>be sitting at my apartment
>happybirthdaytome.jpg
>mom comes to my apartment with cake. customary.
>eat cake with mom.
mom : "do you still play dungeon dragons?"
me : "no. my friends are all too busy with their lives to game with me." I stopped bothering trying to correct her when she says stuff wrong.
mom : "oh well I can return these if you don't like them..." as she pulls out a bag
me : "gib dat"
open bag. pull out two books and a card.
Dungeons and Dragons 5e Player's Handbook and Dungeon Master's Guide
mom : " the guy at the store said that these ones are really popular and he recommended them."
I ate a big piece of cake, told my mom to take the rest back home so my siblings could all have a piece, and told my mom thanks and goodbye.

Now I'm sitting here feeling really weird and guilty. I haven't had a D&D book since 3.5, and my friends don't want to play with me, as they cite a few "That-Guy"isms that I pulled like 3 and a half years ago. I appreciate the gift, but now I have a constant reminder of how I lost one friend permanently and lost the respect of a few other friends.

what did you do user
don't be a tease

C'mon coquette, let's hear the rest. My dick is ready.

What did you do?

Did you make a jumplomancer or something?

Your mom sounds really kind and is trying to support you and encourage your interests.

Revealed my power-level to the normiest member of the group we were playing with, essentially creeping him out and consequentially he told his entire social network how fucked up I am. I basically just told him that I wish life were more like D&D and if it were I'd want to be a Dragonborn, which got twisted around into "I wanted to be a matis and I was trans-species"

That, and I was just really out of it as a player, doing edgelord things like praying to Lolth as a straight up elf, and mutilating a child and making her ears look more elven so I could pawn her off at a village as like an elven noble's child or something.

C'mon man, you've gotta find new friends if that's the case. At least try.

Mantis*

Also, I heard from another friend of a friend that I "used to cut myself and read the satanic bible to people", which is a lie. So opinion of me seems to be covered in shit...

Would if I could.

Time to start a new chapter.

>I was just really out of it as a player
>mutilating a child and making her ears look more elven so I could pawn her off at a village as like an elven noble's child or something

>as a PLAYER

damn son

Take some of that self reflection and try playing an online game and just make up a real simple character with real simple motivations and just give it a whirl. Maybe you'll still like it

>mutilating a child and making her ears look more elven so I could pawn her off at a village as like an elven noble's child or something.
I mean, I may be playing with psychopaths but that's a bog-standard "I want to make a few nuyens fast" thing in my Shadowrun campaign.

Aw man, your mom sounds so nice.

But is she hot

Find new friends at an FLGS.

Go visit the senpai. If possible, play D&D with your mom and siblings. Run a fun, simple adventure with them, as a "yes, and?" style GM. Light-hearted, Disney Gummi-Bear, David the Gnome style storybook fantasy.

I seriously hope you consider it at least. I got my mom hooked on social deduction games and board games, and it became a good way to spend time together.

You've got a great mom, user. Don't let the opportunity to spend time with her pass you by.

senpai here meaning your family
that's one strange wordfilter

In a 9 year long career spent between /b/, /v/, /pol/, Veeky Forums, /r9k/, Veeky Forums, and the other cesspools that compose Veeky Forums's catalog, I thought I'd seen everything, but drawing hentai of one's own mother might be the most depraved thing I've ever seen an user admit to doing, perhaps even more depraved than the actual act of fucking one's mother

user, are you legit autistic?
I'm sorry for your mother.

one of my friends reactions to a campaign we were in
>you run downstairs to find an orc raping the bar maid, what do you do?
>...I join in.

just tone down the edginess till you find a group who wont take it seriously there are literally tons of people getting into RPG's online thanks to RPG podcasts and the such blowing up in popularity. It wont be the same experience as being in the same room, but it can still be fun.

That's not too bad user, sounds like your friends are just judgy pricks.

do this, user! it will be fun, and the pressance of your family, and the setting, will help you tone it down a bit.

Just do what losers like me do and grab the Mythic GM Emulator and play solo. Its better than nothing.

Well at least you can admit what the problem was in the first place, OP.

Maybe go to your FLGS or make a posting online LFG. If your playing with new people, then you'll probably tone down any edginess naturally assuming you aren't a total autist.

What the fuck?

Having been to /b/ you should know by now that most of this shit is fake.