That girl that bakes cookies for the group

>that girl that bakes cookies for the group

>that guy that bakes cookies for the group
I hope you enjoyed the baked goods, I am now inside all of you.

What flavor?

I had one of these, but she was a huge weeb so she would always bring delicious Japanese treats.

That would be my wife.

And that would be me. I make mochi for my groups a lot.

>When she tells her bf she thinks you're all losers and she wishes there were more girls around
Make your own damn friends Michelle.

My bestie's fiancee is a chef and occasionally he makes something really dank for us. He's annoying as a gamer, but I'm starting to understand why she keeps him around.

I wouldn't trust a single goddamned one of my player's homemade foodstuffs. I know they'd sabotage it some way or form.

>That survivorman who take the group out camping for a long weekend and makes proper camp food every night
>Who builds his own shelter while everyone else sleeps in tents

You know, if you wanted me to suck your dick that badly, you could've just asked.

My friend's wife. All our wives play and occasionally bake, but she's a fucking amazing D&D player and a great baker.

A friend of mine went to cooking school and makes a damn fine cherry pie. She was trying to get us all into a GURPS group but the timing never worked out and she and her man (seemed like a Veeky Forums bro) moved away. Man we all missed out. That game would have rocked.

But user, that would be gay.

>tfw that use to be me until I got yelled at by one of the other players because I didn't know they had a peanut allergy.
I literally asked if there were any types of cookies that they didn't want, and everyone, allergy guy included, said any was fine. Now I'm not allowed to be in the same group as him anymore because he'll throw a fit about me "trying to kill him".

I miss my Italian weeb friend.
She'd always cook delicious stuff, and knew top places to eat.

Wound up moving overseas for work.

>that girl who bakes gelatin-like, barely-edible homemade brownies for the group
It was like eating a block of stale flavorless gelatin filled with sand and sugar crystals. It had no texture, but still scratched my teeth enough to be irritating.

She even managed to screw up the pasta she made. I don't even know how she screwed it up. Like just boil it for 10 minutes and add just enough sauce to cover it. She must have managed to both fail to cook the pasta, and made a revolting homemade seasoning on top of it.

We tried to hide our revulsion and disappointment, but she saw right through us.

>that girl that bakes cookies for the group

I'm sorry to hear that user I would've eaten your cookies.

>that girl that bakes cookies for the group
Bonus XP for the entire group

I'm a guy and I do this.

Not all women can cook user
Hell, many of them cannot keep house

We tried to play a session at one of the girl's apartment. Her roomates were screeching on the phone the entire time, the place was filthy and smelled like dirty dishes. Pretty sure there were bloody tampons in the garbage can, which was overflowing.

I live in a house with two other dudes and that place is spotless, we cook every other night and the meals are goddamn delicious.

I cook for my group every few weeks on the condition that I don't pay for take-out when we get it.

I'm the only one in the general friend circle that can cook worth a damn, so I'd say it's fair.

You deserve better.

>love cooking for my group
>make the vegetarian versions of dishes because one person is vegan
>it's usually not an issue because stores sell vegan cooking ingredients
>vegan chili, vegan pasta, meat substitutes, etc
>it's all pretty good surprisingly, the non-vegans like it too
>forget one evening when baking, because herp derp dairy isn't vegan because I'm an idiot
>feed a vegan dairy in pancakes
>he said they were really good, some of the best he's had, he even said wow these are different than usual
I carry the guilt with me to this day, almost a year later. I'll carry it to the grave.

No one must know my secret.

Good job making that vegan fall. You think he is clueless, but he knows... all his spells are ve-gone and he will never enter vegan heaven.

I would've thanked you for the cookies even if mine was laced with cyanide. especially if mine was laced with cyanide.

>I literally asked if there were any types of cookies that they didn't want

You asked the wrong question.

The right way to ask is: "Does anyone have any allergies or dietary restrictions that I should take into account?", and *then* ask for peoples' preferences. And also have a piece of paper to record everyone's dietary restrictions and preferences.

I specifically ordered tendies and coke, give me a refund

Wait one fucking second, either you have posted that before, or its one of the most mundane pasta's ever conceived.

>Be me playing with bros
>6/10 girl asks if there were any types of cookies we didn't want
>Say no, a sane person wouldn't make peanut butter cookies any way

I post that little story in gaming food threads when they pop up. People usually have a laugh.

user I feel bad enough already

obligatory

>vegan chili
Maybe it's because I don't know all the lingo but aren't chili peppers vegan by design?

Pretty sure he was making a Scott Pilgrim joke.

I don't really see the problem here. I mean, yeah it's weird, but it's no different then eating her out.

>that girl
user, you really shouldn't talk about your mother like that.

oh gee, fucking cookies, how will I ever repay you?

Nigga don't even act like you wouldn't appreciate some motherfuckin homebaked cookies.

Maybe he's talking about cincinnati chili and the like.

>a sane person wouldn't make peanut butter cookies any way
You've never had chewy peanut butter cookies with chocolate chips.

I don't, I really don't. Cookies are so freaking overrated, and what makes it worse is the obvious manipulation tactics.

Yeah yeah, we all believe you're a real smart guy and see through the obvious ruse or whatever. You're super cool for looking into fucking cookies so goddamn deep that you've lost all self awareness. Cunt.

I mean, proper form certainly would have been to ask about allergies as well. At the same time, when someone asks if there's any cookies you don't want it's only reasonable to mention that you have allergies.

Can come to my game anytime.

Chili peppers, yes. When people say just chili, however, they're generally referring to chili stew.

you seem extremely triggered that I don't like cookies. What's the matter, did someone call you a fattie or something today? PS. most people will just throw away those shitty cookies you make when you've left.

Don't forget to ask for a brief medical history while you're at it

>says she's making cookies from scratch
>they're microwave warmed Keebler soft baked

I'd have eaten them if they didn't taste like lies Karen

Never eat the brownies at /k/ meetups. In fact, never eat anything at /k/ meetups that you didn't bring yourself.

Maybe he means chili with no ground beef in it.

>Girl
Night ruined.

>I don't really see the problem here
Consent? Or is that something that only applies to women?

>that guy that gets the group baked

STOP TAKING THE COOKIE-SHAPED BAIT

You don't follow female rapist cases much do you?

Maybe it is just because I live somewhere else then (or my upbringing). We usually just say chili for the plant and use the names for the dishes for the, well, actual names of the dishes.

Well it's been long enough since I had sex I'd welcome it, but I suppose you have a good point.

that thread didn't take long to unravel

>Implying we have women in our group
>Implying we could even approach women without them running the opposite direction shrieking in fear

>you will never be this autistic over someone offering you homemade cookies for free

cookies are trash m8, are you obliged to be thankful for recieving unsolicited trash?

This.

People, as a general whole, are idiots. If you ask someone if there's anything they don't want, they'll automatically exclude things that they can't eat because that's not a matter of preference. If you instead ask them if there's anything that they can't eat due to allergies/diet, they'll give you the information that you actually want.

It's pretty sweet. She was my friend's girlfriend and then my friend with benefits and then my trauma

I'd say you should also kindly request them to stop doing so.
On that matter, feel free to stop posting anytime now.

what happened user?

You're the one who's insistent on arguing with me about how i definitely love cookies when I don't.
I don't tell people to shove their cookies up their ass because it would break social conventions, but I still see how it's used as a form of buying people's affections, especially since people who don't bake think it requires much more effort than it actually does, i.e. overrated.

>you will never be this autistic that your response to being offered something is passive aggressive comments and be incapable of realizing that a different user is replying

I became friends with benefits with her when she was still with my friend. Behind his back. We couldn't commit to anything at the time cause she was still in the relationship, but months later they broke up and I thought that meant she wanted to get with me. It didn't. She ended up dating another friend of mine. Now all I can think of about it is how stupid I was at the time, and how shitty of a friend I was for doing that to the first guy who was nothing by a good friend to me. He never found out, so I can't really bring it up to make amends without creating a wound that I don't think needs opening. We don't hang out much any more, but I see him at parties every now and then

It's your job to differentiate yourself from the original poster m8, not my fault all you pro-cookie shills all look the same.

>you will never be so autistic you interpret anyone who thinks you're a passive aggressive autist as the same person trying to shill for a generic food item

don't you see, he's just warning us about Big Cookie

>That DM who makes dinner for the players
>That DM who fudges the rolls to help the players against the monsters
> That DM who secretly gets off on the players taking all of the prep work for granted and mocking the weak encounters

I'm lucky enough to have one of these. Makes it a lot nicer to DM. She's also the best player in the group.

so seriously, you really think people give a shit about your out-of-the-box cookies, or just pretend they do?
you don't know the half of it

>pro-cookie shills

not sure if troll or schizo

i'm still laughing at 'pro=cookie shills'

>you will never be so autistic you think the only reason people are replying to you is over your hatred of cookies and not the fact you act like a passive aggressive cunt for no reason over being offered something

I wish I could get off on players not acknowledging my prep work... that'd be a good distraction from my horrible attempts at sessions.

Bruh, If a butchy 3/10 would somehow overpower me, tied me up, feed me viagra and fuck me with her cunt I would be fucking disgusted and angry as fuck.

>you will never be so autistic that you can only respond in the same way with the same tired strawman over and over
You think Pillsbury just hoards all that sweet sweet chocolate chip cookie-money? pff, wake up sheeple

>you will never be so autistic that you can only point out someone keeps calling you an autist for being autistic
>you will never be so autistic that literal descriptions of you based on what you've said is a strawman to you

I've never said how I respond to tired ass cookies being brought along. I've only responded with my thoughts when someone brings their tired ass cookies.

you're obviously either bored, autistic or triggered, probably a combination of all three.

>How dare you offer me something, trying to be kind, you're obviously trying to manipulate me by daring to be kind and offer something for free for the whole group, I'll act like a passive aggressive cunt and act surprised and autistic when people think I'm an asshole for it

>how dare you offer me something
unsolicited gifts are more give to pat your own back than actually wanting to be nice
>trying to be kind
trying to win favours
>by daring to be kind and offer something for free for the whole group
bring roleplay supplies next time, I don't need your shitty cookies to roleplay
>I'll act like a passive aggressive cunt
when? also conjecture
>and act surprised and autistic when people think I'm an asshole for it
so you're "all the people" now? jesus, someone did a number on you

also, apparently I mis-quoted but since you're obsessed with me you'll probably figure it out. I'm going to work now so my responses will slow down.

>you will never be so autistic you interpret any kind act as manipulative and for feeling good
>you will never be so autistic that when people do nice things you demand more
>you will never be so autistic that you think crying about how since someone gives you cookies that you have to repay them or something
>you will never be so autistic that you think that no one thinks you're a cunt for acting like one
>you will never be so autistic you manage to fucking misquote
>you will never be so autistic you assume anyone who thinks you're a cunt is just being obsessive
lel

>wow you think people are going to think i'm an asshole when i act like a massive dickhead when other people are trying to be nice to me heh someone must've done a number to you
Don't you have a fedora to tip or something?

The guys in our group all have done some level of food prep, except That Guy. The girls haven't done any.

> That Guy
I assume you mean you?

>tfw everyone but me and the faggot edgelord who plays the shapeshifting druid who only casts offensive spells have done some kind of food prep
guess it's me vs him in who will be that guy

No? I've made fries, chili, roasted potatoes with sausage/onions, and burgers, along with baking cookies regularly and a cake once. That's excluding prepackaged stuff we just throw in for a snack or cheap meal, or ordering out.

The food prep has nothing, inherently, to do with him being That Guy, he is already That Guy and happens to never have contributed to food, despite claiming to have culinary school experience

You sure are special

Chilli is a kind of stew made with chilli peppers, as well as bell peppers, beans, carrots, corn, and basically any other kind of vegitable. It's high on non-broth ingredients, and ground beef is common though not required, technically making it Chilli Con Carne.

Where i am, chili is basically tomato, meat, onion, spices.

Where you are, they need to make better chili.

You're either falseflagging or incredibly naive. You think people just show up with cookies to be nice? I have five sisters, and ive never seen a batch of cookies created without purpose. Motivations matter. Do people make them because they're nice, or because they want to appear nice? My experiences make me lean to the latter. Other times people just make too many cookies and just give them out to get rid off them (generally ones that weren't successful), not to be nice.
If you want to contribute, contribute. Dont make shitty cookies to fatten up the group. Buy a rulebook or whatever.
And yes, generally people expect to be reciprocated even when they bring unsolicited gifts.
I still dont think ive acted like a cunt once, you seem to have that on lockdown. For that matter i dont consider being actively aggressive somehow morally superior to being passive aggressive(and i still dispute the notion that i am)
Point on the spot where i was being a 'massive asshole'

...

>obvious manipulation tactics.
As a US PSYOPS specialist in possession of declassified MKULTRA files I can confirm this.

During the Cold War, the USA's main line of defence against the Soviet menace was not our ICBMs, but the Girl Scouts. An innocent child offering baked goods was perceived to be so purely American it would identify any pernicious elements by their disquiet at the concept.

Many of these agents have now grown up but cannot shake their conditioning to bake.

This has to be either trolling or legitimate non-meme aspergers

>ive never seen a batch of cookies created without purpose. Motivations matter

EXACTLY. Supply your enemy's people with luxury goods their government denies access to and you win their hearts and minds. Jesus people, this is basic psyops.

Use international sanctions to create poverty, send in "aid" with a side order of propaganda to blame the government for it, you associate communism with poverty and Uncle Sam with nice things. Worked in South America.

Cookie Jar Diplomacy, we called it in the CIA.

aye dats me booooooiii

It's entirely on the allergic guys fault, anyone with a quarter of a brain would've mentioned their allergies, especially such a sensitive allergy. But considering he got user kicked from the group he probably didn't like them anyway and wanted a reason to get rid of them.