STOREYTIEM??

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Ending (for the moment) with my favorite

My favorite

It's stories like this that make me think that maybe eugenics isn't such a bad idea after all.

>implying we wouldn't select for patrician taste

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I wish there was drawfaggotry for this

I read this all in Patton Oswald's voice

guy should probably go to church more

Si confiteamur peccata nostra fidelis est et iustus ut remittat nobis peccata et emundet nos ab omni iniquitate.

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I fapped to that, once.

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This one I don't see posted very often.

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WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO

Is that all he wrote, or is there more? The French excursion seems unfinished and we have yet to learn of the aunt's spawn.

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I actually really like this, it's cute.

Don't worry I got this

Well damn that is sad. Hope that DM managed to get the stuffed Tarrasque fine and dandy next session. Of all the things players in RP project, this is actually not only tasteful but heartwarming.

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This one is pretty fresh

Literally a text book mad dog put down.

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Thanks for posting that one, it's easily my favourite of all.

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That sucks.

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Here it is:

>Party is teifling alchemist, Orc bezerker, a naga rogue, a cleric and me, a Paladin
>So they walk down the stairs, and the lobby is right around the corner
>Rogue hears something
>someone creeping up the stairs behind them
>giant cultist cube out for our souls
>Run from the murder cube
>Nobody says shit about the cleric
>He also didn't get the hint
>Rogue just shrugs at me
>DM gives me a weird look
>NEar total party wipe, due to bad rolls. My Paladin is only one left, and on low health.
>Everyone else is bleeding out
>BBEG "Stand down, stop fighting me, and I shall let you live. Join with me, and serve me, and I shall bring back your beloved, gifted with life so she never has to leave you again."
>The rest of the players are silent
>Deal with glares
>Phew
>The dick-ass DM ain't having any of that
>I look at him
>I calmly point his "mistake"
>he becomes visibly upset, draws attention from everyone else
>Won't show it to anyone due to it being shiny.
>silence in the room
>spots the squishy members of the party
>Cleric puts up shields to defend them
>Mishap temporarily averted.
>HOWEVER, not the fallen will ragequit
>Cleric opens a door
>Call bullshit
>DM claims the cleric cast the spell
>Call bullshit on that
>DM's face is anus-red

Anyone have the story of the guy whose GM lied to him about what the campaign would be about and he ended up making a grown necromancer man for a magical girl campaign?

This started making no sense about halfway through. Are you retarded?

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It's pasta.

i remember the thread this came out of

>Play session with cleric paladin and wizard
>Things go as normal
>Kill dragon to save king
>He rewards us with a "Divine ring"
>Figure out it stores holy magic for later use
>Keep charging across the campain, holy fires and light's wraths here and there
>Eventually get to BBEG
>We haven't used the ring yet
>Wizard discovers BBEG is a demon
>Tells group
>I get an idea
>"I'm going to use the ring"
>"Okay, which spell?"
>"All of them."
>"Are you sure?"
>"Yeah, let's do this"
>"Get a crit and it won't kill you then"
>nat 20
>Every spell hits
>57 Holy fires
>33 Light's wraths
>7 Judgements
>At the same time
>Mfw I oneshot the BBEG with a ring

Here you go.

Right, demonologist. Been a while, misremembered. Thanks, user.

To be fair, that's fucking hilarious. Reads like something a sixteen year-old virgin would write.

I don't see how eugenics would prevent that

>Psionic Sandwich trick
I had to go look that up. Wat.

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Every time I read this I think I'm having some kind of stroke

That's awesome.

>despairbutalsoanerection.jpg
Why do so many of my kinks manage to segue perfectly into Bad Ends, which just ruins it for me?
Why is it so satisfying to read about a magic rock being used to troll someone?
This reminds me of when I had a character swear poetic vengeance against another party member for destroying a dead NPC's life's work, and then was never able to do anything because the guy only plays emotionless bricks and the game died.
This is a succubus Good End.
>noooo oooooone rapes like Gaston
>peeks through drapes like Gaston
>dresses in drag to fool That Guy apes like Gaston
All according to keikaku*

>TL Note: "keikaku" means shalom goyim

Hah! This one is mine!

Goddamn it's been a while. I had actually forgotten that game.

We can fucking try.

Seems like a quality dad.
I wonder how the lil hero is doing now, these years later.

>flex food into the hands of the needy

I laughed.

>then I meet him, Sandy Ravage, wrestler extraordinaire

OH YEAH!

>Succu-Bitch drops me from the sky so I can unleash the ultimate elbow drops on my foes.

Business is about to pick up.

>I wish there was drawfaggotry for this

me too.

I wonder if they ever found out what that intelligence that had originally occupied her boobies was.

nice

Been looking for this one, cheers.

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Not really a story exactly, but still worth reading

>properattentionseekinggirl.png

"Attention-seeking" is the dumbest insult. You play trpgs rather than NWN mods from the other players, and you're pointing out the attention whore for wanting validation because you want validation from other self-justifying virgins.

This pasta was never fresh

It's been a while since I read this. Fun stuff.

I left this expanded last night and when I woke up It took me a while to realize I was still on the thread and I hadn't opened this image in a new tab

kord

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Just believe it faggot. Your life is shit enough that you are on here whining about a likely fictional story being a work of fiction instead of enjoying the story and escaping this humdrum existence for a few moments.