You've been asked to kill 40k

You've been asked to kill 40k.

How do you do it?

space skaven

Start charging sixty dollarydoos for a single plastic model when you can get a whole box set plus extras for that price in a system like Malifaux.

Oh, hang on a second...

Let the Chaos win

Emperor dies.

Game over.

I'll start bringing back Primarchs, making Chaos the inevitable victors and massively decreasing art and model quality across the board.

Oh wait....

fast forward to 41k.

Make orkz win.

Permanent dakka
Permanent strife
Big e thinks that only orks can stop chaos... And believes in them. Which in turn channels belief in gork and mork towards emprah merging them.

So basically, chaos gods obliterated, gork and mork obliterated, big e obliterated, eldars, necrons and rest obliterated by orks.

After all that strife orks discover knitting, and find it more engaging than war.

I would not intervine.

Purposely advertise and cater to minority groups, while ignoring the current playerbase

The game? Probably what GW is doing right now, but with more AoS shit like Grand Alliances.

The lore? It'd be fun to have a nidpocalpse. Roll it all the way back to the sigmentum solar. Trillion or so refugees, tons of internal fuckery and strife as all of mankind is on the brink.

All marines are now female. Men cannot be space marines. Blame Cawl. Where's my golden parachute?

And yet those models are selling like hotcakes and GWs stock keeps climbing through the roof after already hitting an all-time high.

While I don't know a single person who actually plays Malifaux.

I think you people need to admit that GW might actually know what they're doing, because they run a multi-million dollar business and your dumb ass does not.

An event that ties up all the plot lines but sumitaniously leaves all 40k factions crippled and broken as an excuse to maintain the setting, will most likely requires lots of deus/diablo ex machinas.
>abaddon and all the forces of chaos reach terra
>after 11k years the emperor is ready recovered to pull his secret trap card
>duels super abaddon like he did in the heresy
>secret plan to sacrifice himself to cause a psychic, galaxy wide cataclysm that will wipe out chaos and the dark gods but also destroy the imperium
>meanwhile eldar have foreseen that this will allow the hive mind to devour everything without resistance
>engineers it so gazzy, who has gone full primeork, goes off to fight the hive mind
>main Tyra is fleet goes up on the edge of tau space, effortless blows their planets away, tau freaking out
>Orks show up
>huge three way battle destroys all tau core worlds causing biggest psychic evwe, bigger than the fall
>gork and mork physically manifest and fist fight nid ships the size of solar systems
>emperor's plan in motion, kills himself and abaddon sending a psychic shockwave that destroys almost all psykers and daemons, blows up the earth and wipes out the chaos fleet
>but rather than hitting the warp and destroying the gods it goes off target hits the hive mind wiping out everything fighting there just as eldar planned
> 90% of orks across the galaxy burn out and die to Waagh backlash
>echos of it shatter the gods, but not destroy them, and seal away the warp
>eldar freed from the grip of slaanesh
>oh, and eldar and their notchaosgod ynnead destroy all the main players of the necron faction in a second war in heaven that costs them almost everything
And so every faction faction is left a shadow of its former self, unable to effect anything on a grand scale but still have armies of your dudes running round fighting.

A lone Custodes guarding the Imperial Palace sneaks inside some very old chambers, reads a bunch of ancient holy books that were preserved, learns the truth, kills the head of the ecclesiarchy, and forcefully implements pure monotheism in the Imperium, which ultimately saves mankind from itself.

Resurrect the Emperor in his entire glory. Purge all xenos. Purge all Chaos. Create a galactic utopia of enlightened humanity.

>Probably what GW is doing right now, but with more AoS shit like Grand Alliances.
Where were you when 2e went to 3e?
It's like you think 40k hasn't undergone any incredible revisions in terms of mechanics and setting before, and each time, it ended up better for it.

I don't support their business practices in the slightest, but this guy has it right.

Unfortunately 40k will persist even if the tabletop game takes a dip. The universe is very popular in nerddom.

What, kill it dead so no one wants to play it again? Introduce a chakat faction.

Add ponies to the armor dudes. thats it.

Immediately go full SJW. Half the Primarchs and their legions are now female (6/9 loyalists), and 5/9 males are now minorities. The two lost primarchs were transgendered, and Chaos got to them before the Empress. Luckily, there genetic lineages were subsumed into several of the loyalist legions, so several chapters have high rates of transgenderism. Ferrus Manus wasn't killed, only crippled, and ever since his sons have been blessed to become differently abled post-transition.

Slaanesh is replaced by Patriaus, Chaos god of oppression. The Eldar are now 100% female, and Patriaus was created by the other three Chaos gods as a weapon to crush them. Tyranids and Orks are gendered male, Tau are hermaphroditic.

>The universe is very popular in nerddom.

Not really. It's got some fervent fans, but it's not even an A-lister. It's still banking on video games that are over a decade old for any recognition outside of the extreme niche that is tabletop war gaming.

The kind of people that use 'sjw' as a term are dumb. Don't be the kind of people that use 'sjw' as a term. It boils shit down way too much and strawmans the arguments those kinds of people put forth, which a lot of the time aren't even the same arguments as the next person that people would apply the term to. It's like saying all of the left support all leftists are far left and all rights are far right. It's a range, not a line.

Space Marine is not over a decade old, Total War Warhammer was quite popular and there are still games coming out that people play. It's also still the most popular wargame based upon the merit of an original universe and models. The only real challenger is X-wing, which is a product derived from what could be argued as the most popular franchise on the planet.

End it like End Times, just to get the schadenfreude of all the assblasted nerds.

Rename everything for maximum copyright, using WikiWords in as nonsensical a manner as possible. Remove options from the game for models you don't sell. Discourage kitbashes, and make all models monopose and ugly. Balkanize the playerbase into multiple camps.

They would never do that though. Right?

>Half the Primarchs and their legions are now female (6/9 loyalists)
>Eldar are now 100% female
I like it.

You would say that, wouldn't you? You fucking SJW.

Space Marine wasn't popular. It was the Dawn of War series that essentially kept 40k from becoming a compete nonentity in nerddom.

Nerddom is vast. If you want to call something "very" popular, you can't name things that are roughly as popular as Buffy the Vampire Slayer or The Blue Beetle.

Wargaming is an extreme niche hobby, and even the most popular wargame only has a really small subset of fans compared to other nerd mediums.

Bring Sanguinus back as the bad guy. Make Horus the good guy. Emperor was just a jobber. Just female space marines from now on. Replace all xenos with tau.
And make all gw stuff in the model train pricerange and in finecast.
How did I do?

Finecast alone is a good enough reason. That shit is cancer, and might literally be carcinogenic too.

Add in space furries and completely ruin the appeal that it has as a grim dark sci-if borderline fantasy setting.

I'm a moderate at best, leaning right in most of my politics. I just tend to hate stupid nomenclature that paints large swathes of people with usually very little in common as being the same thing so long as they fit into a very broad set of criteria that prove very little about said person's character or other views. Not to mention that said nomenclature is used like a weapon against a ton of people that wouldn't even agree with one another about how to use said nomenclature. It's a joke, and so are the people that use it unironically.

It doesn't escape me you're probably a separate person having a laugh, just thought I'd parse out my explanation for the original poster.

Sell it to Disney.

Buffy the Vampire slayer lasted several seasons and was aired in a dozen countries at prime-time all the way to its finale. I don't think that's c-list. That said, I concede to your other points.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer in 2017 is very different from Buffy the Vampire Slayer in 1999.

There's a 2017 buffy?

Time of ending. Then it and AoS are blended into one game.

Make Emperor Trump canon.

As in, the popularity of the series.

start hiring people exclusively from Seattle, USA

Well sure, but one is a television show and one is a tabletop game with a much longer half-life. Buffy wasn't part of a stable of franchises like the Flinstones or Tom and Jerry or any other group of projects like that. Of course the series' popularity has waned since it stopped being shown on television. The Simpsons classics are still much loved, but they wouldn't have an extremely active group of people buzzing around them in the modern day. Apples and pears I guess I'm trying to say.

that actually sounds comfy as fuck

I wait patiently for a couple years.

We found the magic player

Holy shit can you call my cell and leave that as a vm so I can play it back to you so you can hear how much of a massive faggot you sound like?

Seriously you are on Veeky Forums on Veeky Forums no one gives a shit.

Nonsense. Games Workshop are alive because their IP is insanely popular and they got lucky in the 80s/90s hobby boom.

Their business decisions have been awful and mostly a detriment to the company .

You're looking at it as though because they're doing better than some random tiny competitor. When in reality you should be looking at it as why aren't they doing insanely better than they are considering their hugely advantageous position and market dominance?

Rowboat, in an effort to leave the IoM better prepared to fight the REAL enemies, makes an official alliance with the Tau "joining" the greater good but still maintaining an independent govt (like the Kroot).

The Imperium splits into civil war again, but Rowboat holds Terra by the end. Tau tech breaks the Admechs stranglehold on technology, in return for the IoM taxiing the Tau around the Galaxy and gifting them colony worlds beyond Damocles.

Tau tech + Imperial production capacity = a massive boost in firepower for imperial forces, and the result is a rapidly approaching new golden age.

One of the smaller Eldar craftworlds is even making murmurs of joining the alliance as well.

This, it will die soon enough.

New human faction based off American revolutionaries who can resist the corruptuon of Chaos through the power of freedom. They win a long protracted war vs the empire and are about to defeat the emperor, when he fucks off to the eye of chaos and reveals he was the chaos god of racism, and that his plan was to eventually replace all humans with space marines. This takes about 2 months real time.

Put what is 25% of Veeky Forums onto a new Warhammer-oriented screech chamber

That is utter ignorant horse shit. There's *never* been a fluff upheaval as major or retarded as 8th ed, nor such a blatant switch to more trademarkable ranges and action figure like aesthetics.

Anyone that needs to say 'lol faggot no one cares' in response to getting called out on their shitty behaviour probably just doesn't want to accept that they're being shitty.

You're an asshole.

Hrud used to be this.

Fucking boom. Preach it.

Dropped your fedora friend

Stop producing 40k.
Game dies when you stop supporting it.

It's never that blatant user. The infestation is much like Chaos. It starts quietly, with a few minor quirks here and there, a few changes in direction. Certain figures start receiving more attention, new characters fitting in with the narrative come onto the scene in importance. For the most part, no one really cares.

And that's when they start to take over. Just look at what Kennedy's doing with Star Wars or what's happened with Marvel Comics. It's a long game.

Don't be a cunt and stop responding. Jesus christ, you fucking sjw cunt

Ay I'm not your sjw you antifa fuck

I outsource the writing to tumblerinas, they will do a much better job of it then I ever could

He's the guy that was going on about SJWs, I'm the dude that was dressing him down. Yo.

Admech are apparently still rolling along as happy as ever, so I'm down for that. Although we're not exactly major players outside of lore, the writers don't really care about us one way or the other.

I would still my hand and bite my tongue.

Emperor wakes up, the Psionic shakewave expunging all malevolence on the physical plain and the twist is that there is nothing untainted. Emps is the sole survivor, forces himself back into a coma and dreams the Warhammer fantasy universe into existence.

...

People like 40k for the aesthetics and feel more then anything, so strike there.

Nu Marines take on Tauesque aesthetics, clean boxy lines and fiture tech helmets. Glass visors on everything, tacticool imperial guards, etc.

Game gets divided into alliances as everyone realizes chaos must be stopped. Side A is Eldar, Humans, Tau and Necrons. Side B is Orks and Nids, whose hiveminds have merged due to the war for Octarius going on so long. Finally chaos.

The Inquisition is formally deposed and integration between Tau, Eldar and Humans begin. Eldar are saved from Slaneesh by worshipping the Emperor. The Reasonable Crons agree to keep to dead planets and moons, and worship the Emperor as the new Silent King, their own abdicating in their favor.

The noblebright alliance preaches tolerance, progress and acceptance. Their forces are armed with gauss weapons, ride in battlesuits and use droppods and Eldar tanks for transports.

To the Sun Rise!

I wouldn't, I like 40k

Literally just stop making it
keep selling models but no rules, books, lore, or anything else
Also don't tell the fans just stop

>Imperium joining the much smaller and weaker Tau
Fucking taufags

Just as planned by the eldar. I dig it.

I agree in general terms, but it's useful in terms of describing the progressive left extremists (which are indeed a thing) in the same way one might denounce alt-righters and /pol/acks.

Don't give ADB ideas.

First, bring out a new codex for each race every year, with regular updates, add ons and corrections every month or so, results in a massive unwieldly rule system that no-one is able to fully learn, understand or play as every game ends in arguments. Sprinkle with lots of counter intuative rules and FAQs, like Searchlights no longer assist AA batteries, troops CAN climb the sheer surfaces of walls and still assault first, vehicles can't enter multi-story carparks, flamers no longer effect bunker occupants but can shoot down aircraft, etc, to raise the arguing and WTFs to maximum.

The Emperor is brought back to full strength... and then says Horus was right and becomes a new Chaos god.

show me where the mean ess jay dubya touched you

Let Matt Ward write some more fluff and rules.

Oh, the delicious tears that would bring. Make sure to emphasize how superior the Tau technology is when they were cavemen when the HH was in swing.

This one is also good.

Haha, with Primus Space Marines being relegated to Guard duty at the Emperor's palace while tourists pull faces at them and take pictures.

"Dressing him down" yeah don't worry that's about the only thing your gonna get a shot at dressing down friend.

>eldar are now 100% female
and 200% doujin bait

Open a brothel next door to every Warhammer shop.

>How do you do it?

Make selling the books and figs to sperlords illegal. Sell it by saying it's good for their mental health.

>selling like hotcakes
Proof?

>stock climbing
After slumming it for fucking years, look up 'dead cat bounce'

>don't know a single person who plays Malifaux
Says more about you and your social circle than Malifaux, m8.

>GW might know what they're doing
8th was a big boost, some of the most fun I've had outside of RT and 4th. But for most of their existence thaeyve been run by idiots and bastards.

I'm assuming you're not from Australia or New Zealand, two countries where GW charges 20-30% more in real dollar terms just because they can. Plus they're cutting supply to independent retailers to maintain their discriminatory pricing.

40k is still huge here, but it's losing ground to agile games like Infinity and Malifaux because people are learning that you can get games with depth for a tenth the price.

You can buy a whole Malifaux force for the price of the new Marine codex. The penny will drop sooner or later.

Bring back Necromunda and Mordheim

TO KILL 40K ?
Well, ask GW to continue the story, it'll die slowly but frankly. Poison like, so that all neckbeard will suffer

You forgot the metal boys.

That sounds like something GW would do, just needs to be introducing more OP factions to sell more products

Reminds me of that old 50K fanfic "The Shape of the Nightmare to Come" where Vulkan comes back to rebuild the entire Imperium from scratch

9E = 7E

this. a 1000 times this.
t. gaming since 1E

Female Space Marines and male sororitas

Honestly if you asked me 10 years ago I would've said "Build a more balanced tabletop game off a popular widely recognizable brand and add pre-painted minis to entice the lazy bums who field grey tides."

Then X-Wing and Armada happened.

Fire all the current staff.
Hire all new staff fresh out of college with little regard to how well they can actually do the job and make sure that each hire is as ideologically charged as possible, SJWs, /pol/tards. a couple wild commies and a Lone Anarco Capitalist.
Then just let nature take it's course.

Were talking 40k not mtg

Technically its just an alliance that agrees to follow the rules of the Greater Good enough that they can work together. Independant govt like he said would mean that the Ethereals don't run the Imperium, they just work with those that do.

And really, if tolerating xenos is what it takes to kick out the AdMech, its well worth the price.

Op said kill not "make better in every conceivable way."

Not that guy, but I jumped ship from 40k to Malifaux about 5 years back. It's been great. Even after 5 years of playing and collection I haven't spent as much as I did on
2.5k pts worth of Guard.

>first create a "relatively peaceful" period where all the armies suddenly stop fighting as much
>Imperium reorganizes its military and political structure and becomes more lax and lenient
>Orks got a new Warlord (probably Ghazghkull but could be someone else) that can unite most of them and is bidding his time and cementing his position
>Eldar manage to create a weapon that can battle "she who thirst" or better yet become free from the control due to another major event
>Someone finally replaces Abbadon as warmaster (hopefully Angron)
>Necrons unearth all their shit
>Nids main hivefleet is now close
>Tau manage to get all the other wayward alien races on their side
>Squats are back
>Mechanicus gets some needed reforms
>Finally manage to gain contact with MIA Primarchs

>then the end times happen

Just let them keep doing what they are doing desu. Maybe increase the price even more often.