ITT We make a story to the picture above your post

A mad king tries to one up king arthur by stealing jesus christ's crown of thorns I'm an attempt to steal divinity from the son of god.

a woman who is piss of with people complaining about her dog shiting on the floor, Fear the rage of the cyber dogs.

A cybernetic girl who took fisting to a whole different level.

"Are you seriously gonna tell her not to have cleavage? Shes got a plasma gun in her arm, she can look however she wants!"

...

a cyborg mage who is a big fan of star wars, and like to act like the emperor from the return of the Jedi.

"and now young knight you will die"

Abyssal Crusade in a nutshell. Alternatively, a guardsman asking why doesn't thinking happy thoughts make the bad shit go away.

Medieval knights discover that trying to hit the giant metal bats called "aircraft" with their swords wasn't the brightest idea.

>"don't worry we will just use the warp to save the emperor

>" that not how the warp work!"

Word bearers evengelizing on freshly captured guardsman

Shit, forgot deh pic when I reloaded, here.

This actually makes me wonder, why the fuck didn't any of the other thousand deities we made up in our history come to life in the warp? The eldar and orks have their own gods

Horizon zero dawn, the later years, after the tribes and city states pulled their heads out their asses and got to actually figuring shit out.

what the fuck I just find? it's talking to me, what is it, little guy? what are you saying?

traps are not gay

he drops it and swims away.

Well, simply no one worships them anymore or they simply aren't thought about. Or maybe they were reflections in the warp on human nature and state of thought. Maybe God in their universe (0 to some four digit number AD) was a reflection of goodwill and other shit.

Given the current state of the Imperium however, it's giving leaning towards Chaos. A bunch of the minor god in the warp are more off of individuals or minor groups. Also there's the Emperor, but he was formed by a shit-ton of druids/shamans who probably didn't expect to become so fucking powerful.

Because humans don't experience anything that the chaos gods don't have access to, the orks and eldar do.

Shark tribesman attacks a pirate ship after being served shark fin soup by the pirate's chef.

fish people have had with ships crashing down onto their city's

shark man, "hey asshol-hey how are you doing ever had sex with a fish man?"

captain" eww"

shark man "that not a no"

captain "that not a yes"

Experienced player is trying to play Black Crusade with a noobie.

Colorized footage of the Unknown Hero of the Rebellion, taken from the Historical Galactic Archives.

would you like to hear the words of our new lord?

my mom says not to talk to you

can your mom save you from the end time? I thought so.

>"So... sister, huh?"
>"I don't want to talk about it."
>"Because you know, I've heard some stories around the rebellion-"
>"I said I DON'T want to talk about it."

I got that pic from a draw thread a few months ago. I believe he was supposed to be a Nurglite Heretek.

...

don't worry humans I got this on- holy this I don't got this one help me ahhhhhhhhh

While the imperium had no real use for the tech of the galactic empire, the same could not be said in reverse as the empire gladly stole and reverse engineered their more impressive if crude texhnology. Even enlisting Dark Eldar mercinaries to bring them the secrets of making their own astarties. Even Lord Vader has benafited from the enhancements, though continues to reject the reverse engineered dreadnoughts.

I think the Emperor is supposed to be a combination of all Human deities. In sort of the same way that Ynnead is a channeling of the Eldar spirit into a single, powerful vessel, the Emperor is the combined might of Human spiritualists and minor gods seeking to counteract the evils of the Warp.

Then he's a shitty avatar, he has none of God's benevolence, none of vishnu's wisdom.

Is this literally someone's gore fetish? Someone came to this didn't they?

"I know but 'she' decided to identify as female and the hips are technically being used to store extra mags and knives. Criticize at your own risk."

>ssssssso you sssssssee...
>assssss a ssssssnake king,
>I give no ssssssssss-itssssssss.

for fucks sake jeff cut it out
>don't you mean "for fuckssssssss sssssssake"

Hey Bill hows that VN you were working on goi-
Jesus Christ Bill this is why people avoid you.

"Uhh... Captain, you do know the whole "Space is an Ocean" thing is a metaphor, right?"

"We almost came to consensus about tipping you, now give us the fucking Pizza and go out that door...Yes that one specifically."

Hey Bill hope you new job as a jet designer is going wel-

The fuck Bill...?

"I don't care if it rips it in half, I want this plane to have the fattest ass known to man!"

Forgot pic!

The criminal mob boss,Dan Schneideretti, vows to his deceased best friend's son, Tony Pajamas, that he will inherit the title of the big cheese after he is deceased rather than his daughter Megan, whom had assassinated her last three husbands. Megan, overhearing this, poisons her father's wine that evening with copious amounts of rat poison. Since Dan had to told no one yet of Tony's inheritance, Megan puts a massive bounty on Tony's head and turns the whole mob against him.

Detective Joshua Pants has been investigating the Schneideretti family for years, nearly about to bust their whole operation, but since Megan had bought out the corrupt police force of the city, he had been ordered to cease his work. Usually a lawful, good cop, Joshua teams up with Tony Pajamas in order to take down Megan's mob family. Tony is forced to kill close friends to get to Megan, emotionally destroying him, while Joshua's faith in goodness and law i tested. To take down Megan, the two have to investigate, commit crimes, and shoot their way out of this hellhole of a city, Nickelton. These includes a bank heist, a drug deal bust, three long car chases, and one very bloody day at the zoo. Very campy, directed by Quentin Tarantino.

The story ends when Megan's men have all been killed, with a standoff between the three of them. Megan shoots Tony after admitting Dan was his real father, but then shoots him, to Joshua's horror, "MEGAN!!". Joshua unloads fifteen bullets into Megan, before driving off to Wyoming to see his cousin, on the run from the cops.

10/10
Would nominate for Oscar and then lose to a story about a disabled gay black autist.

>After the Heresy, the Alpha legion found their true calling as DJs
>Having revived the disco, Tzeencth rubs the fifth chin on of his many mouths and utters in various tones from loud to softly "just as planned"

After the defeat of the Luftwaffe in the Battle of London and the destruction of the Wehrmacht decided that the most logical solution was to dig a tunnel underneath the English channel and come out directly underneath Churchill's nose

Unfortunately the 1946 Oktoberfest got a little out of hand.

...

>Wights keeping the Blackguard down as always.

>About time you woke up. While i usually despise this era from the bottom of my heart, you thrice-damned shovelheads brew a fine stout. Now, unless you'd rather try your luck without any equipment, i'd suggest you begin packing. Your...expertise is required in the kingdom of Schnabelwaft.

Tony Pajamas was the mafia frontman.
Unassuming, goofy, and overall a nice guy.
Someone upstanding, someone you could trust.
With a name like Tony Pajamas and his ever-present armored glass suitcase, even the most hardened mob boss could feel at ease dealing with him. His complete lack of an intimidation factor saved him from many a mafia shootout when honorable families would mistake him fro an innocent bystander.
It worked so well, that when he emptied the vaults of every mafia family he worked for and even stole all genuine valuables in the dons houses, he could make a getaway just by saying the boss had ordered the wealth to be taken to safety.
No one questioned an order from the don until he asked the flunkies about his sudden lack of money.
All the while Tony was at an unmarked island, tended to day in and day out by a small amazonian group of pearl divers whose life had turned for the better with the import of bunsen lights and navigational tools.
And he thought to himself:
"Yep, Ol' Tony's still got the magic."

The robo-stone people just realized that ripping a hole into the 4th dimension using Lovecraftian technology and a heart wasn't the brightest idea.

Shit forgot the pic

'Allo friend. My name and Sergie and I am here with crew to remove kebab yes?

>Day 40: The Minotaurs still do not realize that I am a human

Bramble-boy this is Home-Tom, come in Bramble-boy?!

>This is Bramble-Boy, you're coming in choppy Home Tom.

Well done Bramble-Boy, the bombing sortie was a success. The rest of your wing is in the hanger safe.

>Glad to hear it, Home-Tom. They're blind now in this sector. Swinging around to port to begin hang entry procedures.

This isn't easy for me to say, Bramble-Boy... It-

>Come in Home-Tom?! I lost you. Say again, Home-Tom.

It was a trap Bramble-Boy. The Eighth Royal Fleet is about to be surrounded, they're withdrawing.

>Say again Home-Tom. Eight Fleet withdrawing?

Affirmative Bramble-Boy, they're already appearing on our sonar. The hangers are on lockdown, the Head-Ship has deployed it's tethers and connected them. We are already picking up speed.

>I'm still in the air Home-Tom, I say again Bramble-Boy still sky-bound

I know Bramble-Boy, I know. I'm S-

>Home-Tom? Come in Home-Tom. Home-Tom? Bomber Command come in! Somebody?

...

After years of peace and quiet as a small town priest, Reverend O'Toonie has had to deal with several dozen exorcisms in the past week. Finally after sitting down for a nice puff on his fag one Sunday afternoon, a demon crawls out of his TV right as his stories are about to start.

>How did you convince the Mayor to allocate the funds for all this steel?
>Easy, when push comes to shove the giant will more than pay for himself once we loot the bandit's caufers

At the gas merchant
>"Alright, you got 20 gallons, so that'll be 44 Coppers" says the merchant from beneath his cloth hat
>The Roadmaker House Knight nods and reaches an armored hand into his money pouch.
A rumbling is heard in the far distance, from the East of the merchant's stall. From out of the dry and cracked ground explodes a great Leviathan, giant clumps of the earth pouring from its stoney hide.
>The knight gives a glance over to the great beast, and huffs in annoyance.
>"Can we settle dues in a minute?" asks the Knight, "I need to attend some duties of mine."
>The merchant gives him a thumbs up and flips open a leather bound book to a section with the knights name, adding another entry to his tab.
The Leviathan is making its way towards the center of the town, getting chunks of buildings strewn about on itself as it marches on unhindered
>The knight takes his mass driving Lance in hand, and throws his UVB211 around his shoulder.
>He grips at the throttle of his iron steed, and dust is spewed behind as he screeches off to fight the monster of the day.
>For as a Roadmaker, he must pave the path to a better world.

Forgot a picture.

Edgy scalie is tired of being bullied

Old fag explaininv lore to newfags

Image bump

...

Raptorfolk don't get much respect in the big city, even in the mean streets with the other dregs of society. Most folks see them as little more than vermin, if they're acknowledged at all. The few who try to play by society's rules rarely get much respect; at best, it's seen as "cute" that they're trying to act like people.

That suits Red Stripe just fine. If all they see is an animal, that just means they won't get in the way of his "cleaning" duties. No one expects an animal with a gun.

A vampiress of refined and decadent tastes. Weary of the taste of fresh blood, she seeks new and exciting ways to gain her sustenance. One of her personal favorites is a mystical flower which draws blood from humans to stain its petals red. It makes a lovely side salad.

Beings of primordial darkness can't easily survive in the world of the light. The can pass for humans if they hide their bodies in heavy clothes, but they have to be careful not to let any light shine too closely on them. Why do they go through the trouble? Lots of reasons. Some are looking for ancient secrets that the humans have not yet rediscovered. Some are looking to make pacts with the desperate, promising wealth and occult power for prices that always seem smaller than they are. And some are simply there to fulfill more... human desires.

The Miasma was bad enough when it was a plague causing suffering and death to those inflicted, but that was mild in comparison to what it would become. Now the affected areas are diseased mockeries of nature. Plants and animals are warped into twisted horrors. Monstrous, inhuman things lurk in the shadows and in any corner they can find. Even the very air is filled with poison, darkening the skies and poisoning all who breathe it.

Once, the plague doctors would wear heavy robes and masks to protect themselves from breathing diseased air or touching tainted fluids. Now, they have to protect themselves against much, much worse.

Nonhuman relations has been going well, even nonhuman pods have do found themselves integrated well into military ranks, finding duties well suited to their unique anatomy, like this little woman who has become a key member of the bomb squad

...

Sauce?

The Goddess Suonona has realized that doing pinups had done to raise her worship then mere dogmatism

"I killed the dickhead that stole my rims. Thanks for hooking me up with another"

Forgot my pic

Veeky Forums OC from last week drawthread