Treasure

Am I the only DM who sucks when it comes to treasure?
I find the DMG treasure charts are overall boring. Most the time I have my players roll to find out what kind of loot they find, and they get excited when they find a ton of gold and gems, but they do nothing with it. They hardly go shopping for anything other than healing potions.
I don't know what else to do for them.

Tomorrow they will be fighting some shadow demons. I've built up the anticipation that these will be tough fights, so the players expect good treasure out of the deal.
What should they get?

I made a list of 100 random non special items that literally any peasant could potentially have on their corpse
I use this whenever someone loots a body and I don't know what to say

Any chance you could share with a fellow lost DM?

At least personally, I like to make most of the loot I give out to the players in the form of items that have uses in some but not all situations.

That means avoiding too many liquid assets, and it also means avoiding things like just weapons and armor with flat bonuses. I'm talking the sort of thing that's armor that's amazing but only if you're underwater, a horn that frightens off a specific type of monster, a sword that is made out of a poison metal, it kills your enemies well, but as long as it's in your possession you'll constantly be getting sick; that kind of stuff.

Mostly, I just don't like how it's too easy in standard DnD to buy, sell, and trade, and build your way towards some kind of optimum equipment setup to complement your optimized stat setup. Give a lot of situational equipment, and they tend to hang on to weird things longer, as well as give more thought as to what they're going to pack for individual missions. (As an aside, I also like to make encumbrance a thing. Throw out the Bags of holding and Heward's Handy Haversacks, but give them a secure place to store stuff.)

lemme go find it

aight well I just took pics of my notes it's like 7 pics and some parts aren't finished and my handwriting is terrible but are you sure you wanna see it?

yes

I want a huge raw chunk of Emerald!

aight but I'll warn you it's really autistic

the next part

and the next

Treasure is my favourite part.
Gemstones cut in funny shapes
Rings that give you diffrent skills(this one makes you an expert salior )
Potions that have a odd effect (this will make your fingers 8 inchs long for an hour)
And other odd items that inclued
>Jaws of eat anything
>Flash bangle (flash bang , in a bracelet )
>Sexy goblin playing cards.
>bag of seads that will grow some cows (now weaponized)
>A cooling drink
> antidepressants
> an eye of a tiger necklace
>a bead of magical flavor.

And I have stories about all of them

friggin post timer

the best part is coming up

this is my favorite page

I can imagine my ^very serious^ ^ power game^ ^catfolk vampire bard^ ^two spike shield wielder^^everyone is a wear wolf ^ group losing their shit when a dead pesant has a Platinum coin on his body.

Want the bonus round?

yes

what about a falcon
or better yet
a broken falcon

Mmmhmm butter mayo and carrot. .. my favourite

I feel lied to. This is not terrible handwriting. This is like C-grade handwriting. Here's some awful handwriting.

no no it's not your favorite
it was the favorite of the corpse you looted it from

That's how it became mine

pocket sandwiches
for the truly adventurous adventurer

huh, I've yet to meet anyone who didn't say my handwriting was awful
yours seems more aesthetically pleasing if slightly less legible

lol this is good shit man

my players were always amused if nothing else
I need to finish some of the tables though

Rolled 5, 4, 2 = 11 (3d21)

rolling for sandwich

That has nothing on my signature sardine-ketchup and mustard-cheddar sandwich

Yours isn't terribly neat, but it's clearly legible. Mine has stupid stuff like r's and h's warping out of shape.

Also 10/10 loot table, would stuff pockets with gooey fish sandwich again.

turkey
chicken
ham

wow whata meaty sammich

I always just put in generic treasure and then a few specialty items.

A ring that lets your players sculpt wood like clay.
A dagger with a poison reservoir.

I once put a bit of description into and ivory statue of a frog, and my players freaked the fuck out and tried to figure out what was so special about it.

Now that you mention it, I'm kinda hungry. Rolling for sandwich.

Rolled 17, 7, 21 = 45 (3d21)

Forgot roll.

Rolled 5, 9, 9 = 23 (3d21)

I want a sammy too

Rolled 14, 15, 2 = 31 (3d21)

I could go for a bite to eat.

Ghouda
Tartar
Monterey Jack

Tartar, monterey jack and ghouda. Sauce and two cheeses. This can't be healthy. I'm imagining doing it kinda like an eccentric grilled-cheese?