The king knights his hunting dog after it caught and killed an assassin trying to murder his new born son

Being political figures (of varying proficiency) they all understand the need to play off the severity of the attack with levity (at least in public). Given the lucky escape of the child and the fact none of them (or their staff) were able to detect the miscreant, they do not complain.

Close. They have analytics, and also businesses request weird shit for distinctive marketing. The stock shutterbugs then compete to meet a brief (no matter how retarded) and get paid a share for the usage of their images. They often have to split this with a stock agency, who host a low res preview online, which is where the memes come from.

this made me chuckle.
thanks user.

Loyal doggo anthropomorphic guards!

I'd imagine a relationship similar to pets (and only pets) throughout recent wars, a bit like a mascot I guess

>depends on if this is normal behavior for the king

Yeah, I don't think the vassals will have anything to worry about, unless the king also gifts the dog a fiefdom and a seat on the Royal Council.

What brief led to the woman pointing a gun at a goldfish ?

Kek

probably better then the horse senator shit

i mean were probably thinking along the lines of random military divisions worldwide that have mascots that officially(technically anyway) have fully comissioned officers that are dogs/cats/ect

so as long as kingly doesnt go full level retarded i think most wouldnt care too much or think it cute

actually just found
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nils_Olav
a penguin with the Norwegian Kings Guard
hold the rank of Colonel-In-Chief and also has a knighthood as well

chaps seem to love him so there ya go

The same way police officers IRL feel about their dogs having formal cop status

Kings and emperors did this sort of shit all the time. This would actually be a more tame instance of this sort of thing happening when you consider that Caligula allegedly made his fucking horse a member of his council and let it eat at the damned table with him.

How's that, generally?

I'd assume they're cool with it, but you never know with cops

Depends both on the nobility of the dog and whether any of their fellow knights are filthy cat lovers.

Depends on a lot of things.
If it's done as a means to create a mascot, a symbol that the knights all rally around, so that they all model themselves after this regal, brave hound then they probably take it well.
If it was the king saying that knights are so useless lately that he'd rather have a dog doing their job, then it's an insult. Some knights would be ashamed, others angry.
If it was the king giving the dog a title, speaking formally to it, waiting for it to answer in conversation, and giving it land and vassals, then it is a sign the king's mind is likely slipping. The other knights may see it as an opportunity to crown a new king in the face of this one's advancing illness.

You don't even consider that the dog might have what it takes.

In this day and age, stock photos have gained a large contribution base. If they don't have to pay anything to get the piece in stock, there's no reason not to carry it. And contributors have incentive to fill bizarre niches because they'll likely have a monopoly on that category for at least a while.

They love their dogs, and have no problems accepting them as fellow cops.

After all, if you're tasked with taking down a fleeing perp, it's the dog that's under much greater threat of being shanked/shot than you.

>>not wanting the dog to be given lands and vassals

What if the king is old and cannot walk the dog, and the dog has a designated walker and park gifted to him?

Contributing with the ravens of the Tower of London

"You know, we may not see eye-to-eye on the subject of taxation, but I must confess that Lord Chunky's plan to deal with the bandit gangs has worked wonders. The people sleep safe in their beds ever since that dog was appointed Prime Minister."

High-Lord Chunky
"Protector of the Realm and Arbiter of Good Rubs"

You can't impeach or vote out a king like you can a president/PM/etc.

I need this picture without watermarks.

>Sir Chunky gazes upon the field of battle
>He sees his mortal foe, Sir Dunky
>Sir Dunky has defeated the water bowl in single combat
>Still, Sir Chunky finds him wanting

No, but you can assassinate him with far fewer complaints from the general public (since no-one ever asks their opinion anyway).

tfw sir drewlsalot outranks me

pretty much
killing the king and putting one of his not-crazy sons/nephew/distant blood relative on the throne goes over a bit better when they arent shitting themselves screaming that Sir Bark needs to shore up defenses against the vile seagull confederacy

See, this right here is why some people have trouble with "British" humor. You can literally never tell if they are joking or not.

I'm not even sure THEY can tell, sometimes. Like, are those gin mascots at the tower of london really serious? Or are they just method acting a farcical sketch so hard that they literally NEVER break character until they're dead?

Are you questioning me, Glitterhoof?

You could depose him or have a regent though

>king has dog knight sit at the round table with all the big boys
>most of them are fine with this but a special group of 3 autist knights fucking hate
>they try to poison the dog but the king catches word and executes one of them before the plan could be finished

They literally consider their dogs their partners and view them as an equal.

Not only are the dogs intelligent and capable of understanding complex orders and commands effectively, they are fanatically loyal to the officer and love the officer unconditionally. K9 officers who lose their dogs are just as heartbroken and mourn just as hard as beat cops who lose their partners - possibly even harder. They're considered cops because they ARE cops in the eyes of their handlers and other officers.

Police dogs are basically well-trained, fiercely loyal toddlers that possess superhuman noses, powerful jaws, and can run you the fuck down.

there's a myth in japan about a shogun who promises his daughters hand in marriage to anyone who brings him the head of his enemy, who is poised to immediately destroy the Shogun and his feifdom.

The next day, his loyal dog drags the head into court with it.

ONE REALLY AWKWARD MARRIAGE LATER....

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nansō_Satomi_Hakkenden

Military dogs similar

If you shoot a cop/army dog be prepared for a hard anus fucking

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nils_Olav
I imagine it'd go over as well as Ser Nils

That's what they're hoping for.

New knightly mascot!

As long as it starts a trend of all of the King's knights being known as Dogs.

Atleast it was not an octopus...
Fucking japs

Fucking savage

If modern humans are any indication, then they would receive it well. In American college football, dogs are the mascots for many teams. They even keep a live dog to represent the team. I see this as being very similar to that.

Plus, like, the dog killed an assassin trying to murder a baby. I'd be down with making him a knight lol. Good for the dog. Clearly he makes for an excellent guard, too, make sure you get him to breed.

Clear fuckup from the king, he should have finished the story and murdered the dog so it could be promoted straight to saint. It just saves embarrassment all around.

>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Guinefort

Fuck, I've seen a /k/ screencap with a retelling of this story, I had never realized.

Laugh at the incompetency of the assassin that got caught by a dog. Drunkenly proclaim themselves as the Dog Unit.
Initiate brawls whenever someone dares to question the Dog Knight.
Silently praise the gods because holy shit the King almost got assassinated

>probably better then the horse senator shit
Incitatus was objectively the greatest senator of Rome.

Goddamnit, I read that as Shotgun and got real excited for a sec

>The third
Would a mayor be the aproximate equivilant in modern times? We have several doggo mayors

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Depends if you're talking about the Yeoman Warders (Beefeaters) or the Queen's Guard. One is just a traditional bit of pageantry and fun for the tourists, the other are actual members of the military who will not hesitate to shoot those same tourists if necessary.

So what counts as improper conduct for the Tower Ravens?

regardless of official regulations im sure shitting on the queen is up there

Given the legend of what happens if the Ravens were to leave, I think the queen will have to take that shit on the chin and deal with it

If you touch those ravens, you're a fucking dead man.

After looking into it, I retract my statement.
Apparently attacking tv serials is considered grounds for dismissal.
Also, one fucked off to the pub and got sacked.
Another saw that one Raven got attention when it died, so he played dead to get the same treatment and bit the handler when he fell for it.

Sometimes I forget how intelligent Ravens are

getting rid of a few does not mean getting rid of the flock

theres always more ravens user
and i would normally say theres always more queens but this one seems like she wants to see another millenium before she croaks

> serials
Fuck, meant aerials

He is granted a fiefdom of the courtyard, and the taxes from 100 dog houses.

When our species inevitably kills itself off, my money is on the corvids evolving into the lifeform that takes our place.

>He ends up knighting the cat dressed as a monkey that kills your assassin

Ser Chunky has earned his "Lands" My Lord
none shall seize the Elysian Kennels while he still draws breath

He is so easily roused to action, especially by the feline kind.

So the Court wizard turns it into a Lupin or one of those Angel Dogs?
Neat.

someone needs to stop Sir Mittens' monkey business

DAMN YOU SER PUNSLY

Nah
Brittle bird bones my man

the knights would fight over who gets to fight alongside the royal bulldog

no need to go ape over it

If the dog had to do the job of the guards/knights
They should be grateful not to be executed for incompetence

>tfw be enlisted infantry marine
>tfw cutting scores prevent anyone from getting promotions
>tfw the fucking mascot bulldog has a way higher rank than you

No one will take our place user. Corvids may be intelligent but they lack the ambition to conquer the world

They're biding their time, user.
The Tower is their current base

thats like
every mascot ever

maybe you should cut back on the DUIs

Well, he was the least corrupt, at any rate.

Good boy

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