Men, the new Commissar will be arriving via Aquilla lander very shortly, and I don't want him to automatically executing people left and right. As such, I expect you all to be on your best behaviour.
This means no duct tapping Perkins to the flag poles. No replacing Antons socks with extra large condoms. And no replacing people's bayonets with chef Durand's hand made Baguettes! It doesn't matter that he is an Elysian who's baguettes are so rock hard, that they can be used as lethal weapons. They are still to be used as food!
So, in the spirit of our former Commissar, and to make sure that no one is planning any sort of ridiculous shenanigans. I am calling for a mandatory field kit inspection.
So, all hands, present arms and equipment for a Field Kit Inspection!
>Welcome to ''Field Kit Inspection", home of the 'Unknown Regiment". Feel free to join in! Remember though, we tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, while greentexts are typically used for describing a character's actions. D20s are for combat checks, while d100s are for other things you wish to roll, with higher being better.
YES VERY GOOD SIR, I HAVE MY USUAL EQUIPMENT ABOUT ME! *presents staff and eviscerator* On a side note, I'm fairly certain Perkins is dead sir.
Austin Reyes
I here! Protect rank for boots, steve, will protect for boots, steve enjoys boots
Ryan Barnes
>the man walks out of the bathroom, holding a book under one arm I was taking a shit, did I miss the funeral?
Jason Miller
*sigh* I'm Belasya present, ready to meet the commissar
Tyler Barnes
That's where you're wring, Priest. You're likely thinking of Sod Perkins. The man who's toenails kept getting eaten by rats. I'm talking about James Perkins.
Very good, Captain. How are you accustoming to your new rank, and the new Leman Russ Vanquisher I assigned to you?
What rank even are you?
James James
You, high rank man, i sent to protect you, protect for boots, I can protect good
Owen Morgan
Well before my retirement I was a major, but I'm not that good at leading people, I'm more of a sniper my friend!
Chase Kelly
NO NEED FOR ATTITUDE CHEERLEADER, YOU ARE ADDRESSING THE MAJOR! SHOW SOME PROPER RESPECT! Ah yes, that must be it. It's strange how every soldier names Perkins keeps being relentlessly tormented by their squad mates.
Angel Peterson
The funeral was three and a half weeks ago! How long does it take you to empty your bowels?
>Matthias would eye the "disguised" Eldar warrior with suspicion. As any loyal soldier should.
...glad to see you've arrived.
Hmm... I wasn't aware we had been sent a batch of bullgryns... Odd.
Robert Brooks
Trying to take a shit now is like trying to do a three point turn in an Ark Mechanicus. So yeah, three weeks minimum.
Kayden Green
It's surely just a sad, unexpected coincidence. Nothing more, I assure you.
...Noted...
>The Praetorian officer would eye the older man for a moment, before speaking up.
You still haven't answered my question...
Aaron Lee
Yes...strange man sent me protect high rank man, that's why have big sheild thing, do you have boots for me?
Carter Walker
Hmpf, pleasure's all mine... >Mumbles under her breath
Cameron Fisher
HELLO, GLORIOUS BROTHERS OF WAR. WHEN, DO WE MEET THE COMMISSAR?
Hmm well since I volunteered, that makes me a private!
Hunter Wright
You...tiny lady! Do you have boots, I can do things for boots!
Nathan Price
Ah they are most exemplary sir! The tank especially, shoots very accurately!
Adam Walker
*mumbles about the superiority of the flesh*
Jose Gonzalez
Yeah, sure >Shows a standart issue munitorium boots Do you want them? >Throws them into the hallway There! Catch!
Jackson Lewis
>like happy dog, steve runs after the boots, ecstatic as he straps one on his head, and the other to hid belt Thanks pretty lady...you no die on my watch now...unless high rank say so
Justin Gutierrez
Can your flesh withstand 60 jumbo tacos and 3 gallons of Chef Durand's extra spicy beef surprise stew? Thought not nerd, get dunked on.
Landon Clark
They sent us rough riders? This doesn't bode well for our method of fighting. Granted, it does fit in rather well for our usual "throw everything we've got at it, and hope we come back alive, and with victory in hand" tactics.
Very good.
That's good to hear, Captain. Hopefully you won't overcharge your plasma cannon Sponsons, and kill yourself like your predecessor.
Noted... >He would narrow his eyes at the Xeno witch before him.
Keep out of trouble, "Private Belasya"...
Grayson Bennett
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. HOWEVER MY FLESH IS PURE IN THE EYES OF THE EMPEROR, AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS.
Josiah Lee
YOU! Preach man, do you have boots?
David Russell
AH, A MUTANT! I MEAN, YES, I OWN BOOTS. WHY DO YOU ASK?
James Gutierrez
These tacos are pretty fuckin' pure too my man >the man takes a large bite out of a taco heaving with beef, salads and cheese, before speaking with his mouth full Fuckin rad
Dominic Thomas
Haha! Funny man! You underestimate the fighting method of old! >The man would grasp his powerlance, laced with poison powerful enough to kill 20 elephants
Easton Ward
> he sequels with happiness at the word "boots" Give me...old fancy boot men said if I fight for empra I get boots...so I love big Empra because I love boots..can I have boots?
Daniel Reyes
OF COURSE, I WOULD NOT DOUBT THE RATIONS OUR GLORIOUS MUNITORUM PROVIDES US WITH!
Zachary Cox
*points to Perkins locker* THE CODE IS 0001. KNOCK YOURSELF OUT
Logan Lee
But Perkins sold all his boots for amasec, that's why the rats ate his toenails
Benjamin Anderson
Um 00-what? No boots in numbers, you make head hurt
Leo Wood
NO NOT THAT PERKINS, THE OTHER ONE. YOU ARE THINKING OF SOD PERKINS, IM TALKING ABOUT JAMES PERKINS
Jackson James
I thought he ate his boots after using Van Kleez's razor
Jayden Stewart
NO, JAMES IS CURRENTLY TIED TO THE FLAG POLE A LITTLE WHILE AWAY FROM HERE. THERE ARE STILL BOOTS IN THE LOCKER, I ASSURE YOU.
Jeremiah Bennett
WHERE THE FUCK IS THE COMMISSAR?
Jordan Scott
Somewhere in space chap >Checks his pocket watch Somewhere in space
Mason Wilson
Open locker, I want boots, I protect for boots
Jason Jenkins
I AM QUITE ALLRIGHT ON MY OWN THANK YOU. I DONT NEED ANY BODYGUARDS OF YOUR... CALIBER.
Dominic Watson
HE IS ON HIS WAY VIA AQUILA LANDER! HE SHOULD BE HERE IN A MATTER OF MINUTES!
Logan Price
>As the regiment stands (hopefully at attention) upon the hastily constructed airfield, upon the rocky, ash covered planet they were on. The sound of a engine could be heard, upon in the ash filled sky above them. >Moments later, the sight of an Aquilla lander ( wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Aquila_Lander ) could be seen above them. It's pitch Black painted hull fitting in almost perfectly amongst the black ash filled sky, as it soars downwards towards the airfield. >After a few moments, the craft would extend it's landing gear, before touching down near perfectly upon the rockcrete airfield. The rear side exit ramp opening up, and descending downwards a moment later. >Seconds later, a cloaked figure would make its way down the ramp. It's cloak waving behind them in the wind. >However, once the figure had reached the bottom of the ramp, abd was in full view of the regiment, it would become all too clear, that what was once though to be a Commissar's cloak, was actually his unbuttoned shirt, flowing majestically in the wind. Exposing his perfect skin, and chiseld abs to the ash filled air, as his blue hair flows behind him. m.youtube.com/watch?v=I1nsmU4_P4Q >The man would pull out a Commissar's hat from within his shirt, before placing it firmly upon his head. Keeping the wind from messing with his hair too much. >After eyeing the men and women of the Unknown regiment for a moment, he would walk towards them. A seductive grin upon his face.
Nathan Mitchell
> the bulgryn is saddened by this statement Awww...but they said empra bring boots to me they said
Carson Peterson
I am Rogal Dorn, Primach of the Imperial Fists. And I am indeed present.
Andrew Russell
>His monocle pops out By the Emperor!
Lincoln Ross
Hello Guardsmen. What is your name... friend.
Dominic Taylor
*michael would apply purity seals to his person, just in case*
Oliver Bennett
>the man takes another bite from his taco Meh... I've seen stupider things
Elijah Russell
>Her eyes bocime wide open Erm...is he supposed to do that?
Gabriel Bennett
*whispers* I think he is signalling for you to join in
Michael Collins
> the bulgryn stands in attention Hello boot man I am protect
Aiden Ross
By the Emperor, there must have been a mistake!
Asher Morris
>When the man finally speaks, it is with a thick (almost overwhelmingly so) Elysian accent, as he extends his arms outwards, and. An overjoyed expression on his face.
Vell, vell, vell! Isn't zis a sight for sore eyes! I am humbled by such a varm velcome by my new regiment! Et almost brings a tear to mine eyes!
>The man would let out a hearty chuckle, before. Continuing to speak.
>Feeling simultaneously Inspired and unnerved by the new Commissar's dramatic and unorthodox arrival, nonetheless gives a curt salute.
Nathan Rodriguez
Ehm, yes O-OF COURSE! FOR THE EMPEROR!
Brody Rogers
> the bulgryn is very much confused by the man Does...does he mean we get boots...my head hurt
Jaxson Thompson
eheheh THEY KNEEW YOU'D ZSAY THAT!!
Lincoln Edwards
>What if he wants to inspect my gas mask >muffled breathing intensifies
Zachary Robinson
>Dorn merely stares resolutely ahead at the Commissar and his most certainly insane antics.
Caleb Collins
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN OF HARLECH STOP YOUR DREAMING! >Hundreds of praetorians would raise their rifles to aim at the man CAN'T YOU SEE THEIR SPEAR POINTS GLEAMING! >Their fingers would edge towards the trigger as leman russ battle tanks would begin aiming their battle cannons towards the commissar
YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM MEEEE! *uses telekinesis to strip mask off*
Adrian Long
>Takes one step back Erm, of course commissar...
Connor Brooks
Oh-ho! It seems zat I am already so popular amongst you all! Et is nuh joke! I am ze nee Commissar! Et is a pleasure to meet you all!
Samuel Cooper
...
Mason Martinez
...y-yes the pleasure is all mine Commissar Alex... >Makes an unnerved smile Okay chap calm down, I know that he's an Elysian and has a lacking fashion sense, but...
Adam Foster
Major, this is no joke.
Ian Lopez
> the excitement is visible on the bulgryn's face I think im gonna get boots!
Tyler Wood
I do not believe that he enjoys that. I advise you keep his mask on. For your own safety of course.
Kevin Martin
>Makes an unnerved salute *Whispers* Can I leave now?
Jacob Flores
>The Captain would refuse to salute the humongous faggot
Christian Hughes
Oh? So I see dat zis regiment has been given a sanctioned Psyker! How vonderful is this! >The man seems genuinely happy to see a Psyker in his midst. No need to be afraid, by good Praetorian! I have been stationed alongside one such regiment long ago!
>The best shirtless Commissar would hold his hand up, as if to stop the Praetorian tank commander.
Zat is quite enough, Mon good Captain. Zere is nuh need for such prideful displays right now.
Although I do love ze touch.
>The Commissar would stop in-front of the Kreiger. Taking a moment to examine him.
Might I see your gasmask, mon compatriot? I feel as if something might be wrong vith et.
I am not sure who you are. But it is alvays a sight for mine eyes, to be greeted by an Imperial Fist.
Did you now? Precognitive abilities are quite ze helpful ability on ze battlefield! I expect great things from you, mine little flower!
>The man would smile, as he passes by the man.
Sergeant.
For ze Emperor, priest!
Sebastian Campbell
Why talk funny? No talk like that, I dont like it
Carson Walker
Settle down, both of you!
Jack Hall
OH WE FIGHT...who I crush
Jacob Davis
*the psyker makes the captain keep allucinating until he's told what to do about his rebel thoughts*
Cooper King
>with the commissar standing in front of him his breathing reaches its audible climax >how did he know? >of course it doesn't work >why would it being filled with half melted face and all >1000 yard stare and breath intensifies
Jordan Price
Rolled 16 (1d20)
>The rough rider would charge into the commissar with his power lance >+3 for charging with a lance "Omae wa mou shindeiru"
Joshua Edwards
>The near shirtless Elysian would open up his hand. Indicating that the trooper should let him see the gas mask.
...also, vhere is your name tag? I do not see et on your uniform.
Logan Gray
Of course commissar... >Salutes
Xavier Walker
Vell, I talk like zis, because I an from a different planet than most of zese fine men un women. So mine accent is much thicker, and stranger.
>The man would smile at the large slab of muscle before him, before patting him.
You vill likely get used to et!
>He would offer the man a warm smile, and a firm salute.
Lincoln Wright
>the man picks taco bits from his teeth with a fancy looking quill I highly doubt that
Jackson Cox
>Quietly, offers to attach himself to the Commissar to act as his Personal Guard.
Mason Smith
So...are we free now?
Aaron Davis
I no like it
Thomas Jones
>Quietly watches the Commissar from the distance
Levi Cruz
>After taking a moment to examine the woman (far too long for her tastes). The Commissar would finally nod his head, and smile.
Very vell, Private. I've seen enough of ze regiment for now! You are all dismissed!
Charles Brooks
>a squad of men leans up against a bus, qietly talking, and asking questions to two new faces, trooper kenesh, and trooper gutan.
Noah Martin
I sense SLAANESHI CORRUPTIOOOOONNNNEH
Easton Watson
>the mechanicas walks over and begins to inspect the bus
Logan White
What an uncultured fellow... >Gives everyone under my command the order to shoot if he tries any sexual relations
Lincoln Sullivan
G-good >Leaves the hangar *under breath* What a freak
Isaiah Walker
>The man would seem utterly surprised by this.
Really? Vhere do you sense et!? Is et close by? I thought dat ze crusade vas dealing vith ze Tau on zis planet.
>The Commissar would look the man over, before giving him a firm salute.
If you keep staring at me like zat, you are going to 'ave tu take me out to dinner!
>The man would chuckle at his joke.
Blake Lopez
>Slowly, walks off, deep in thought.
Owen Parker
Say something like that again, and you're already dead.
Evan Adams
Hmm, well then, anybody up for a nice game of chess? Or a drink? Oooh maybe a cup of tea, or coffee or cocao?
Parker Peterson
Vell I am sorry to hear you say zat. But I hope zat doesn't mean ve cannot get along, mine muscle bounded, tank tread covered bullgryn!
Vell, I hope zat despite your feelings about et. That ve can have a good vork relationship, adept!
Oh? And who is zis face zat I 'ave not seen before? Are you an adept of ze mechanicus, or of ze adminitratum?
Ayden Rogers
oe baby! chimichanga ne desu?
Landon Lewis
*the priest would meekly volunteer for the game of chess, still too confused to make proper words*
