What do you buy to start your journey?

...

15 daggers. I'm a rogue of the assassin's guild: I don't need anything else, kid.

okay, give her back half the staff, we only need the glowy bit
we're thieves, but we ain't heartless

We ought to equip two people and send them to a local quest, get some loot, and restock her place with better gear. Granted, we keep the best of the loot.

Give 100 gold to milady

...

Stab her, can't afford to leave any witnesses now.

Can she clean the rusty sword up for a price?

QUEST FAGS LEAVE REEEEEE!

A GOOD GENERAL OR FAPBAIT THREAD DIED FOR THIS.

GO BACK TO YOUR CONTAINMENT BOARD!

WE DON'T WANT YOUR KIND OF FUN HERE!

Well done...

Give back all the items except for the sword. Give her the gold for that and walk away doing a dance so she is appeased.

Get behind the counter and pretend to be the shop owner. We have to play it cool til close.

Think we should wipe the blood off the wall first. . .
Use the rags she was wearing.

This was inevitable. Nothing to do now but loot her corpse and run for it.

There is no time for that. Goblins are notoriously screechy. We need to take down the invisibility potion price and body block the wall smear.

WE CAN'T WE'RE INVISIBLE
FUCK
BURN THE SHOP DOWN USING MAGIC

...

>WE CAN'T WE'RE INVISIBLE
oh shit

NO SHE SAW US ITS OKAY THE INVIS HAS WORN OFF

Fuck all that. Use the staffy stone to animate the corpse. Command the so blind to run the shop and stay open 24 hours. We have a place to sell loot at full market value, we can get consumables whole sale and we have free,tight goblin pussy any time we want it, just a potion of invigorating warmth mixed with some olive oil away

Let's use the mage staff to turn back time.

This is fine. All we need to do is play it cool. Act casual and everything will blow over.

we can salvage this

just uh

uh

hang the goblin corpse from the sword mount hooks and write FRESH CORPSE over RUSTY SWORD in her blood

Command the zomblin *
Stupid auto correct.

Guys, it's a second-hand staff. It has Magic Missile and Light in it or some shit.

Does it have Fireball?

BEST IDEA DO THIS

People sell corpses all the time!

Jump to before the mods nuke this thread

We can use it still. Second someone sees the body pop the staff head like a flashbang and cast Light.

Ain't nobody takin' us!

Of course it doesn't have fucking Fireball. Fireball is a 3rd level spell or some shit. A staff w/ Fireball is a first-hand staff.

We don't have to worry about that because no one is going to notice shit.

We put the body up for sale just like any respectable merchant would.

We're fucked.
Use the healing potions to cover up the wounds and sell the gobo corpse as a sex doll.
It's our only hope.

Maybe it's a low level spell created by a student for practice? It might just have a lot of penalties
>raise dead
>only creatures under 4 feet tall
>must have cute ears
>must have round booty
must be filled with cum once a day or will collapse

FUCK, YOUR PANICING, ALL YOU WANTED TO DO WAS GO ON A QUEST!!

This wasn't even supposed to be like this, it started as an honest question

OR
OR
We can embark on our EPIC QUEST and attempt to go back in time and stop ourself from killing the gobbo merchant
Then roll to seduce

We aren't fucked and corpse sex doll is too specific to sell. They'll know we are up to something. We just label it as a regular fucking corpse for sale, 10 G and everything is golden.

Put it out!
Pee on it, use goblin blood, spill the potions.. Something!

FUCK WE GOTTA BAIL

GO ON THE QUEST

GET THE FUCK OUT THIS HAS ALL GONE TO SHIT

>make a silly post about stealing a potion
>close tab
>come back later to see if the thread is still there
>mfw

GO ON THE QUEST IN AND THEN DO

BLOOD AND POTIONS ARE TERRIBLE FOR PUTTING OUT FIRES JESUS FUCK WE ARE SO BAD AT ADVENTURES

THE FUCKING SHOP IS ON FIRE AND YOU WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER BOARD? WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT YOU STUPID FUCK

The best things come about by accident!

Also AAAAAAAAAAAAA

GRAB EVERYTHING WE CAN CARRY AND RUN FOR IT

At least the gobo cops and fire department haven't shown up...

WE'LL COME BACK, OR RATHER, WE'LL HAVE COME HERE BEFORE AND PREVENTED THSI WHOLE SHIT FROM HAPPENING

*gobbo

TIME TRAVEL DOESN'T EXIST

STOP DEALING IN WHAT-IFS AND COME UP WITH SOLUTIONS FOR RIGHT NOW

HENCE WHY WE GO ON THE QUEST

STEAL EVERYTHING AND PRETEND THE GOBLIN WAS OUR WIFE AND WE OWNED THE BUISINESS

Now this is the kind of Oedipan asininity I can get behind!

"I must avenge my wife!"
"Loyal squire, we have journeyed far together... and now I have a confession to make."

FUCK THIS, YOU GRAB YOUR ZOBLIN AND GTFO

Embarking on your new epic quest!!

tommorow... on /qst/... sometime

Wait!

We burn the Elf Shit down first.

Wait. Don't we have healing potions? how do we know she's not just unconscious?

Quality shit, OP. I'll probably poke around /qst/ tomorrow looking for it.

...

Sword and Invisibility Potion. Either I can thief my way out of everything, or fight.

Oh good, now we think about not fleeing through the woods.

This town really should look into guards.

We can also panic our way out of everything.

Maybe we were the guards?

Cast water, give goblin a health potion, drop the money AND RUN.

We have a Zoblin waifu with us, and did you really expect a Veeky Forums hive mind wouldn't kill the first elf we see? Elves were never an option.

>burning houses
>stealing cuties
Are we Vikings yet?

They also killed the first goblin they saw, also it's just a burning house.

>restore health on the gobbo
>this destroys the zomblin waifu
Are you mad?

This town needs to get better guards.

While guards/villagers are dealing with the two fires, steal a horse, travel west as fast as possible.

>Elves were never an option.

This sounds like the opening line to a really great game, user.

...did we leave the Goblin kids to burn?

Goddamit, Veeky Forums
Can't you even manage one (1) shopping episode without setting everything on fire?

Yes. But unfortunately we can't manage a trip to the gobbo pawn shop without some of that delicious green apple poon.

Don't try to deflect shit onto poon. You always light the store on fire.

fpbp

That reminds me of a sorcerer character I had who gained the title "Tavernbane" due to his habit of using fire spells in barfights, leading to exploding alcohol and angry innkeepers a lot of the time. He even tried to take someone down with a "non-lethal fireball" at one point. That didn't end well.