Play paladin

Possessing of one of the three Evil alignments as defined in the fucking Players Handbook. Tell your DM to stop being a cheeky fuck.

The correct answer. The DM might have a point if you're playing a morally grey setting, but Evil is literally a defined cosmological force and Detect Evil is quite specific about what gives a positive reading.

Wait.
So you could technically detect anything you wanted to by simply telling your GM that you consider them evil?
>Gold, bitches, and ale are evil!
>10,000 GP diamonds are evil!
>Hidden Doors, Traps, and Treasures are all evil!

>Plot hooks are evil!

heh
I nearly typed that.
But I figured most players don't have trouble finding them.

Um...ok. If you insist.

>And that's how i met your dragon mother.

>traps are evil
I'm gonna fight you

Look fella, do you want to find all kinds of traps or not?

Trap being evil would give you a good excuse to take them somewhere private and attempt to "purify" them.

>constantly adapt your definition of evil to the situation
You now have a functioning "detect anything" mechanic.

>Not having an "advance plot" spell when your party is fucking off and doing stupid bullshit

This.
youtube.com/watch?v=zd4NsMwKLx8

>my definition of evil
causing intentionally unnecessary suffering
that said, if you have the ability, your teachers will have taught you.

"A being who's alignment is Lawful Evil, Neutral Evil, or Chaotic Evil."

Then I tell my DM to stop being such a pedantic asshat

The DM wouldn't have a point even then. There is no moral grey in D&D, morality exists in the world, and just like dragons, so do demons and angels.
If the DM is playing a morally grey setting they shouldn't be playing D&D.

*Detect Evil* Sees OP "Shit it is stuck on detect fuckface!"

>Being willing to intentionally harm innocents

>BBEG doesnt ping because he wants to destroy the world out of pure disgust, not for any personal gain

>half the town flares up red
>little Timmy ate his sister's bread roll yesterday night, making her go to bed slightly hungry
Time to smite I guess

>There is no moral grey in D&D,
Lawful Neutral, True Neutral, and Chaotic Neutral.

Evil is not subjective in DnD. By not following the alignments as defined by the players handbook, the DM is unfairly nerfing the paladin class. This is the DM's prerogative, but he is a dick for not informing you that paladin was not a viable class choice at character creation.

>DM decides to take player's ideas of morality into account instead of just forcing his own
>Player thinks this is a bad thing

"As things stand, if this guy were to drop dead immediately, would he be showing up in the Blood War?"

Little Timmy should have remembered that actions have consequences and for that he'll get a piece of coal for his birthday and a lesson in bad behaviour

Forgot to add, if your Detect Evil is Black and White then you have a shit GM, mine sees in various intensities.

any time people try to get funny with alignments, it makes me want to roleplay my character as an Objectivist and completely fuck everything up

he's gaining a disgust free existence

Neutrality, Chaos, and Law are all as extant as good and evil.
There is no moral grey in the sense of "subjective morality." Morality in D&D is objective.

Little Timmy wouldn't flare up as evil for one instance of stealing food. If he was habitually denying his starving sister food, then you might have a good example and a leg to stand on.
And even then, a paladin is meant to temper his justice with reasonable compassion. Killing a child, unless it was some higher evil's illusory trick, would be out of the question for a Good paladin.

He wants to alleviate his disgust, which would be a personal gain.
Nice try.

of personal gain is the key indicator, then literally everyone would light up

> a player wants to play cleric or paladin
> "So, what is the one great sin against your deity, and what are the three lesser sins?"
> A character commits the great sin - he falls, a character commits a lesser sin - he loses deity's grace until he prays well enough or does something his deity approves of.
> A character casts Detect Evil - he detects everyone who has committed the great sin and/or all three lesser sins.

youtube.com/watch?v=WECcGZLvcz0

I can think of a few good circumstances where it should be. It could be an interesting way to define a city or region with a strong central authority.

In my opinion, it in general it makes more sense than D&D's assorted takes on alignment across editions, outside of 4e and 5e treating it more as a descriptive character trait than a prescriptive part of some ineffable metaphysical truth.

That's an interesting take, but the answer may not always be immediately apparent, depending on the deity.

The god of justice abhors murderers, thieves and con artists. The god of the forest hates arson, poachers and irresponsible loggers. But what does the god of luck hate? People who cheat at games of chance?

Nah, cheating just makes it funner if the other guy manages to still win.

Not this again Chanticleer, last time you just ended blowing him for 8 hours.

But he swore to never wear a dress again...

Well sure it worked but don't you think it's a little extreme?

God of luck? If I played a follower of one:
Gerat sin: cowardice. You may run from a great danger, but if you're not taking a risk, you're not worthy of being a cleric of luck.
Lesser sins: blight (you don't give up unless you've tried and failed), pride (if you are a winner today, it does not make you a winner forever, or a better person than losers), greed (wealth is easy come easy go).

Followup: and of course, my spell would not be called detect evil for that matter.

>die you orc filth

As long as they hurt innocents for it. That's the important part.

whats the definition of "Hurt" though? Most actions people take in some way harm someone else, whether intended or not.

>detect evil

Is this really a thing?

Intentionally harm

>>DM asks for my definition of evil
"Anyone whose death would make the world a better or safer place."

You'd have Paladins smiting poor people and then, ironically, falling because they made the world less safe for "evil" people.

but op said
>willing hurt

The whole party would probably be pinged along with any living creature cause they being eating meat and shit.

>Sense Stolen Goods

It'd have them smiting almost anyone, honestly.

>DM asks for my definition of evil
????????????????

>Detect Evil and Good
>1st-level divination
>For the duration, you know if there is an aberration, celestial, elemental, fey, fiend, or undead within 30 feet of you, as well as where the creature is located.

>Everything pings.

>user attempts to be clever by insinuating that 5e fixed this spell, but just looks like a retard who hasn't played any games other than 5e.

I was having a shit day and that sent my sides into orbit. Thank you user.

>"fixed"
>user accidentally reveals he thinks the spell is "broken", indicating that he fell for OP's intentionally incorrect greentext predicament as a valid concern

He implied that, not me.

>play Paladin
>face goblin children
>"wat do"
>pray to god
>god says "Clease and Purge"
>cleanse and purge
>no more problem, if God says it's okay, it's okay.

>"What is evil" is an incorrect predicament. That question has an objective answer.
You what, mate?

Someones been reading goblin slayer

good and evil are relative terms. To the goblins, human's are evil for taking their ancestral lands.

Being a dick, however, is universal.

I don' t know what that is. I just know that Paladins swear to a God, therefore, that God's morality is their morality.

>good and evil are relative terms. To the goblins, human's are evil for taking their ancestral lands.
>Therefore, the question of "what is evil" has an objective answer and thus the question of "what, exactly, pings as evil" is a stupid question and OP is dumb.

Again, what the fuck are you saying.

Your incredibly specific choice of hypothetical scenario was gone over in a manga called "Goblin slayer".

Basically, it goes over the fact that if left alone, the little bastards will grow up to be just as bad as their ancestors, attacking and harassing people all the same.

Not everyone agrees on what is good or evil, and trying to define complicated things in simple terms is a goddamn nightmare if the DM feels like being a dick.

>good and evil are relative terms.
lol noobs

I could have someone hold up a fucking neon sign in the shape of the Skyrim quest marker and they would still miss it.

Oh. Still feel like I arrived at that conclusion from a different angle.

Unless Goblin Slayer has a literal God that talks to him.

>Not everyone agrees on what is good or evil
You're the one saying that the spell detect evil has no problems and doesn't need to be fixed, yet you literally just pointed out the largest one.

Nope. Just intense trauma and goblin autism.

Sounds like whiny emo crap.

I have no idea what is going on any more. I don't think anyone said that Detect Evil is broken.

Personally, I don't think Detect Evil was broken because it works within the game play system set up. Consistent rules and whatnot.

Not really, actually.

The trauma thing doesn't come up till later on, and the autism thing is sorta the point of the series as a whole.

I was granted the power to detect evil by my God, who defines evil. I trust in my holy sight with the same faith that I hold for Him.

>not noting the most important difference between private and personal property.

Does this mean people are evil?

>lean over the table
>pull his collar and hair into his pile of dice and paper
>stand up and pull your arms out
>"Bass cannon"
>leave the room and drop out of the group call

>play healer
>cast Esuna
>DM asks if it's lupus
>mfw

Why would they fall, user? If the DM is allowing me to define evil as anything I see fit, and killing any "evil" creature is by definition a "good" act, then slaughtering the poor because they ping as evil is not only permitted but encouraged by paladin's code.

yes

>innocents

>There's a Dragon Magazine article for Paladins with Detect heresy, Detect Guilt, and other such Detect spells
Detect Heresy the best tho.

>>>/leftypol/
Marxists are my definition of evil.

...

We have guns for if we are betrayed, which hasn't happened in Fascism by the way. Unlike you where apparently all communist leaders backstab you when they get power. I like freedom, I just don't trust people with it like an idiot.

What if the innocents are evil?

Then why do you trust absolute leaders to rule you absolutely?

>Evil mirror changes my alignment to evil
>Act the same because evil is a social construct and cannot be applied to individuals, only actions which can only be truly judged after the fact from an omnipotent perspective, not from the point of view of a character or a player.
>DM gets upset

Paladins don't require a god to follow.

We trust RULES, not RULERS. We have guns for as soon as they go against what they promise.

>citizens free to own an effective amount of weaponry
>under fascism
lol