Has one of your PCs ever had a "no way fag" moment?

Has one of your PCs ever had a "no way fag" moment?

Tell us about it

My cleric had battled through an enchanted forest to a shrine containing a non-hostile dryad hottie. She kept complimenting my character and saying something about how she'd love to help him rest. I looked over my hp and mana, and kept politely refusing because he didn't really need rest. It turns out she was trying to bang my character right there, but it went completely over my head OOC.

Party monk was given lovey-dovey eyes by an innkeeper woman, but didn't pursue it, and we got the following exchange out of it.
>NPC bard: Why not? What's wrong with a little romance?
>Monk: As I am a monk of the open palm, I cannot close my hand to hold another.
>Fighter: You know you have two hands, right?

>How do you think I got by all these years?

it's not quite the same but our party got beat up pretty badly by a slaad, we just about survived the fight and then some wrinkly old woman shows up and starts REEEEing at us, she downed one guy with some magic and so fearing the worst I bartered my body for our safety

I don't regret it, just sad attendance problems killed the game.

>Be me
>Paladin
>Traveling the land to stop the advance of some non-descript dark lord
>Pass through some city of mages, meet young magician lady who helps us
>She confesses her love to me, exposes childhood trauma related to dark lord, we kiss
>Promise to come back for her when everything is done

>Some time later
>She joins the party as an NPC
>Pretend like nothings new, there's a whole world out there to save
>She starts acting weird
>Decide to speak to her in private, asking her what's up with our relationship now
>She puts the ball in my court
>"No way fag, we have a world to save"
>Now she's mad and utterly ignores me

I have to give credit to my DM, he's playing one hell of a believable woman.

>"No way fag, we have a world to save"
Proper response right there.

Not sure if it counts but I played a character who was a eunuch for a good year and a half and my GM had forgotten that fact.

At one point in the campaign a rather forward whore started flirting with my character and the GM took my awkward dismissals as being an ooc thing, so for a laugh had the girl grab my cock... I then had to re-inform him and we got to play a fairly funny scene out of it.

Every time because most of the people I play with irl are deviants.

My PC caught the attention of a psychotic genetic experiment that was some monster girl-esque thing with tentacles and acid spitting and shit.

Wasn't really a magical realm thing, making the sort of thing was completely in-character for the scientist(who was killed by said experiment) to make something like that. She came across as more never having any real human contact and a child-like mindset. Obviously, I politely gave her a "No Way Fag" response to her invitation to "play."

Except replace "No Way" with my sword, and "Fag" with stabbing her in the face repeatedly.

He also got a robot daughter-fu because he was the only one dumb enough to put his bare hands on a strange metal slab we found floating in space, with the exact phrase "What could possibly happen?" She expressed interest in him, but he had to turn her down because he was already basically engaged at that point.

...

I ran the Great Pendragon campaign for about a year and a half. Around half way through a player purchased an elephant for his lavish estate while the party was kicking around Rome after Arthur invaded. The elephant never did show up to Britain though, everyone figured that the player had been screwed or the order lost or whatever.

Flash forward 25 years. The players arrive at camelot to find the steward arguing with a Berber gentleman about the elephant he was saying someone here had ordered. The son of the man who originally ordered the elephant decided to donate it to the Camelot zoo, and soon the elephant revealed herself to be a a magical talking elephant. She was quite personable and took a fancy to the good Sir Arcadius, and she eventually proposed to him (still in elephant form) at a large feast, after essentially being cajoled into accepting she immediately turned into a beautiful woman! The two married and had a loving relationship for over a decade until sir Arcadius's death.

However it took Sir Arcadius a few years to consummate the marriage as he was deathly afraid his blushing bride would turn back into an elephant during the act.

Was a good source of comedy for a few in game years, she started getting VERY pushy.

I was playing a mage in a modern game and fought the mafia al la hotline Miami in a strip club.

After getting done in the back room I learned that when I crit failed a spell it had made me irresistible.

Needless to say I had to fight my way out of there, tooth and nail.

I play bards so no, never

Real talk:

Why did Leon turn down Ashley?

he didnt fag, he just waited for the game to end, he has a reputation lol

First of all, Leon is adasexual. Second, she is too young and acts under influence of the moment. Third, her dad is president of USA.

>Theon_greyjoy.webm

>players travelling through ancient ruins of a massive city
>several sessions in, bard complains about lack of women
>setting has mousefolk, so i decide to say fuck it and have them encounter a survivalist mousegirl named Amily next session
>bard immediately shies away from doing it with one of the beast races and they move on
>as soon as I mentioned the name, one of my player's jerked upright and stared at me
Unfortunately he ended up moving before I could do anything else with it.

It's his bosses daughter, his boss is the president of the United States, he was in the middle of a job, and he was still holding a torch for the mysterious hot Asian lady he knew for maybe an hour and a half years ago.

I would also be alarmed by such a revelation for likely similar reasons.

Our party had to investigate a brothel for connection to the mafia/illuminati.

As an honorable cleric, I did basically nothing the entire session.

>bard immediately shies away from doing it with one of the beast races
What a fucking pussy.

>survivalist mouse girl named amily

She's extremely vanilla, and it's not like anything else in the campaign had been fetish-fuel.

Hi Fen

>go to a temple to help out with Not!skeletor
>female oracle there is super cute
>she obviously likes my knight
>not so subtly subtly hinting that her door is unlocked
>No way fag, my knight is hella gay
>turns out the oracle was secretly a boy though.

Fen didn't write her (she doesn't have a massive horse dick).

It kinda became a game trying to see exactly how furry a given NPC could be before he would refuse to bed her. He pretty staunchly stuck to the 10% furry line.

My previous character was a bard who, predictably, was always the target of all kinds of romantic situations. Unfortunately for everyone involved, he was also a noble heir with a massive stick up his ass, who had no interest whatsoever in random thots throwing themselves at him. It became a bit of a running joke during that campaign.

I don't get it?

CoC has more than one meaning, user.

It's a reference to the same character, race, name and all from a shitty furry game

>furry game

You've been playing it wrong user

it's clearly a goblin breeding simulator

I played4 it to knock up every goblin and harpy multiple times

>GM tries to get his player to fuck a furry
>player smartly declines and moves away
Smart move.

C U T E

>What a fucking pussy.

>Have a rockstar bard
>get a half-giant warrioress waifu
>cheat on her with other races all the time, including my fairy familiar

Had a bit of a pickle when some epic-level witches I seduced marked me and I had to quickly bullshit an explanation of why "Property of Morganne LeFaye" was tattooed on my ass.

Did you get the good end with your goblin children?

>itt incels play pretend they're volcels

user, are you making up silly words again?

>unironically using LoveShy vocab
I SHIGGY DIGGY

>playing pretend
>on Veeky Forums
Someone call the cops!

get with it gramps
>unironically thinks green txt is unironic
Your fun is a bad fun. The police have been notified and are tracing your ip to take your pretends.

>old and busted
>slut
>flat
>tall and lanky
>poorfag
>shitty black hair
>boring small ears

vs

>young and fertile
>pure
>ballistics
>short and cute
>rich
>beautiful blonde hair
>exotic big ears

Ashley is objectively superior, what the hell Leon?

>my wizard is shyboy in love with a fellow female (npc) wizard
>female (npc) martial in heat corners me and asks why I act funny around women
>tell her grew up studying and I have feelings for someone
>she goes through each character (pc & npc) asking if its them, says she'll help me to confess
>say no each one
>finally gets to herself, asks if I'm in love with her, she's on the cusp of kissing me, hand on my chin
>say no lol its this other character
>she says lol ok and promises to help instead

you know that bit of clone high where it's like
>Abe, I want you.
>You want me to what?
>What?
>Oh, you forgot what you were saying. Don't feel bad, happens to me all the time.
all of my characters, by default, act aggressively clueless about romance in that vein

It wasn't the bard that I was throwing curries at that moved, and the CoC player was already moving.

>Playing a Ministorum Priest in Only War
>Scourge and Purge
>PC squad is part of the force sent to retrieve an Inquisitor and retinue surrounded by traitor guardsman
>I lead with my eviscerator as we carve swath and scatter their ranks
>Rescue the Inquisitor
>Retinue includes a SoB
>GM practically drops Bolter Babe in my lap
>There's no time for love while the enemies of God-Emperor still live

Pretty much every attempt at "romance" has gone that way. I really don't want to play that shit out with my GM

Why not? They want to with you.

>trying to stop a loyal servant from doing his duty via carnal seduction
That's a power-paddlin'!

>Elven fighter/wizard thirsts for the half-human monk/warlock who tutored her and watched over her during her formative years.
>The sole heiress to a prominent noble family, she gave up all of that to wander the planes in search of him.
>When she finds him, he's a mental wreck who doesn't even recognize her.

Don't.
Fuck.
The.
Boss's.
Daughter.

...

You don't, or your character doesn't?
There is an important difference.
I will pursue a romance, but if I feel it's going weird, will tell my GM to knock off the dumb shit and play it straight.
That said, I play a lot of WoD where seducing someone is supported by rules as well as roleplay, and has many purposes.
Especially the boss who can make you vanish with no questions.

>Especially the boss who can make you vanish with no questions.
Well, fucking with Leon is a risky proposition.

That's at least two of my PCs.

>one is an asexual robot
>one has the Abstinence: Sex quirk

I now know how to play my next bard, that's great

>play warlock
>patron is a Fiend
>save a group of monks as in people from a monastery, not martial artists from a band of bandits hired to killed them
>turns out they are on a holy quest, adventure ensues
>kill the cult leader
>monks start giving out gifts
>warrior gets a lance of a saint, ranger gets a cloak of a saint and so on
>"And for you, warlock, we have the greatest gift of all..."
>"A ritual to sever your pact and give back your immortal soul to you!"
mfw

I'm retarded. Isn't that a good thing?

>Everyone else gets cool loot
>You get offered a ritual to make you loose all your shit and become a useless peasant.
This is not a good thing, user.

*lose

"Loose your shit" has a very different meaning. Unless the thing that tool your soul makes you forever constipated.

I don't. No matter what character motivations there may be the reality is I don't think the actors in question are up for doing it well

Not a useless peasant, since you get to keep all your shit as a Warlock once you lose your patron, but locked out of progression untill you another patron.

Rule of Acquisition 44, but what about 45?
>Always have sex with the boss.

>throwing curries at...
Was damage based on scoville scale?

Nice.

Source on pic? All I'm getting is Fate/Kaleid.

you have no idea

>trading your eternal soul for worldly pleasures
This is not a good thing, user.

He already made the deal though. Even if he gets it back from some ritual he's basically just stealing it by breaching a contract, which seems like a pretty good way to get damned either way.

>cheating on your waifu
Your GM better changed your alignment away from lawful you ass.

>pictureforants.jpg

Just save the ritual until level 20 or whenever you feel like stopping. Unless it's a now-or-never thing. Then you're fucked either way.

>Cleric
>Mana
What system was this?

>bard
>ever lawful
nigger u wot

I think you mean 112 and 113

>Playing young king who just ascended to the throne
>Inherit the most experienced army on the continent and a war my character's father started
>During a ceasefire in the war the nobility politely force me to look to for a wife
>GM throws all manner of politcal marriages at me
>All the courting takes away from managing the army
>Marry a lower noble girl that my pc played with as a child instead of jumping through hoops and go back to planning the next part of the war
>Wife designs fancy flag and makes my grenadiers carry it
>Gm is still wishes I'd have gone on the sidequest for a princess instead

Hey sidequests are great cmon man

well, 5e has rules for converting spell slots to points(mana), so could be

One of my current character's is a chaste knight who's waiting till marriage. However I've invested time into him learning to play the lute, and the other player and our npcs formed a good band at one point for a sort of short vacation arc. A princess sent my character her panties, my character effectively stonewalled her and hooked up with the somewhat autistic village girl he took to a fair once when they were younger. He's been with her for nearly 3 in game years and they only recently started to kiss with tongue, despite subtle but clear hints that she's willing to bang. So several moments I suppose.

A change of pace is only good if it's welcome. Dude is enjoying his playing a commander.

Hes not looking to bang the presidents daughter, hes a high ranking government worker.
Secondly hes got yellow fever, lots of jap games put in white dudes that want to/do fuck asians.

>5e has rules for converting spell slots to points(mana), so could be

Kinda. We were lazy and converted spell levels to points on a 1:1 basis for simplicity. It worked out surprisingly well, though we did start to notice the need for better scaling around level 7-9.

That experience helped me realize that mana can indeed work in tabletop. We don't need to be stuck on cumbersome legacy magic systems.

Dude, systems have had Mana since forever. Your revelation is a bit late.

Don't fuck your boss's daughter. Ever.

Although, after the president got turned into a zombie, Leon probably got on Ashley like white on rice.

>getting drunk in a bar the night before we're raiding a fort full of slavers
>Party member suggests my character let off steam with an npc that is interested in him
>He doesn't respond, just keeps drinking
>She's there at the bar, drunk as shit, starts moving in closer
>"You're drunk. Go home."

I heard of it before, but there's a difference between hearing something described to you and actually playing it in a real game.

Also, at the time my group had just relapsed back into dnd. I'm off it now, and I see things a little more clearly than I did back then.

>LoveShy
Is this like an entire forum of /r9k/? I think I've found my home.

>talking about d&d as if it were a drug
Get help, user.

>my wizard started the game engaged to someone
>GM constantly trying to get him to cheat
>GM must fucking write NTR garbage in his spare time
>wizard meets each and every attempt with open mockery
>he couldn't even get a succubus to succ-essfully get in his robes

He didn't want the government to send Chris Redfield to kill him?

>player constantly hooking up with random wenches while out adventuring
>half of his backstory was devoted to the minor noble's daughter that he married
>gets super pissed when she cheats on him in turn, to the point where we have to prematurely end the session and the rest of the party unanimously agrees to boot him from the group

Yep. There's this one time my party ended up meeting a group of naiads. The rest of the party didn't even bother to make their Will saves, and jumped into the water to get their fuck on.

My Paladin was the only guy left standing there, and thinking "God, I hope they all drown."

>Playing Dark Heresy
>Players are Tech-Priest (me) and a Psyker
>Still acolytes but we manage to save a world from a demonic incursion about to happen
>Fly to our Inquisitor's ship, we get a welcome back like we're heroes
>A woman walks up to the psyker and starts telling him how cool he was, starts flirting
>Another walks up to me and before she has a chance to talk, I say with an attitude "No pleasures of the flesh", complete with a hand gesture to shoo her away
>GM goes "Oh, I'm gonna show you now"

>Night comes, the psyker hears a knock on his door
>Opens the door to find the woman who was flirting with him before, starts kissing him aggressively, cue fade to black
>Next I hear a knock on my door
>I open the door to find... a servitor, which proceeds to start kissing me
>I try to resist, but the servitor rolls well enough to pin me
>GM says I spend the night in a hot sweaty session with the servitor
>Me: Hey GM, what the hell is that?
>GM: What, the servitor is no flesh.

...

>exotic big ears

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