What magic card best describes your sex life?

What magic card best describes your sex life?

Give it a brief explanation

We're hardly ever on the same page.

im lonely

Do I need to explain?

please do

>Give it a brief explanation

way to ruin the joke

batter = beat
skull = head
The joke is masturbation. Please clap

>Explanation

nah you're alright

He hires a small black man to beat women unconscious then rape them while he, the "summoner" if you will, watches.

Who needs sex?

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So...lonely.

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get fucked nerds

>heteros
Gross

>homos
>not gross
The unawareness

You fuck your sister?

Not masturbation.

I'm seeing a teenage girl

My fetish

I DON'T NEED IT

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Yep

nothing wrong with that

Gross

Unless you are teenage.

Because I did it with two at once.

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sodomy

If it makes you feel better, user, you made me laugh twice.

orgasm denial/ruining

incest

dick fencing

brainwashing

teacher/student realtionship

S&M

Threesome

obvious

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REALLY GUYS?

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HEY THAT'S ME AS WELL

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my ex lmao

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hi tumblr

This + my picture.
We're in a long distance relationship. I miss him.

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>explaining the joke
This is why you suck Veeky Forums

Daddy?

>inb4 a hundreds jokes about virginity

It's got nothing to do with tumblr and everything to do with being an adult.

Here's mine.

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>I miss those times so much

Yours was better at conveying what I wanted.

Thanks, dude

What was yours? I'm curious

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1

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Forgotten Lore.

>wotcha thinking about?

>I don't know, volleyball and stuff

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We're waiting on the good times now

Everything will turn alright for you guys, just wait

>fetishizing gays is adult
for american numales maybe

>fetishizing gays is adult
What did he mean by this?

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whyboner

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Engaged, long term relationship.

Shit, thought you could attach URL for card image, pic related.

When you just went back to visit your friends and hung out with your ex, thinking of what could have been.

Remember folks:

Shocklands are euphemisms for vagina

Been 4 years-ish? I might meet up with this Chinese girl this weekend.

This should be the default phrase instead of 'whyboner.'

Does she even look like Lili?

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Being an adult means fucking as much teenage puss as physically possible before you get too old.

/edhg/ mem

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been 3 years for me, bout to fuck this super ugly but super nice coworker of mine this weekend

Some fun stuff.

Mostly for the title.

damn right

tumbler

not at all, blond and all skin and bones, cute face and ass tho

There are no girls on the internet, therefore you are a gay.

Holy shit, all dual lands by that extent

>ladies and gentlemen, my ex

I keep telling that to myself; thanks user

>found you

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or case

Go to the doctor, dude

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I don't get it
pls explain

Could be worse...

And what about her feets?

nice

Don't be creepy, bro.

Sad face.

>stomping ground