Why is the bard the only class allowed to be a manwhore?

BTFo

If anyone, it should be the party barbarian who gets all the wenches. If not because he saves them from evil wizards, then because of all the loot he has from treading the jeweled thrones of the world under his sandalled feet.

over a thousand bitches

They aren't its just different means. Bard's do it by persuasion, Barbs via force.

>force

Conan never raped anyone except that one frost giant chick that one time that sort of didn't count because she was literally cockteasing him on the verge of death so he went anime insane and she liked it after cause he was conan

Conan has never banged a chick whose actually said no and tried to fight. Some of them come CLOSE and are kind of sketch, and may even be considered duress. But Conan never goes in dry.

All the classes are allowed to be manwhores. A bard is just more skilled at doing so.

Why is the elf so mad all the time?

Is it because she never gets the dick?

Any class can get laid, the bards are just more noticable because they're the only ones who make a literal song and dance about it.

Yes.

She's not particularly mannish

Did he just assume because she's an elf?

No, he's hit on an elf before... turned out it was a male elf that had the 'pretty effeminate male elf' trope turned up to 11. He probably never gave her a second look and assumed they were male do to a combination of being pretty flat (most female things the artist draws are pretty thicc, so this is a leaning of the 4th wall joke) and because the elf doesn't walk around looking like they just got out of a professional make-up artists chair (same 4th wall joke as before).

There's a difference between merely being promiscuous and being a certified manwhore; I believe it's important we establish that difference before moving forward with the discussion

post more of this comics elfs makeme hard

Played a Gnome fighter manwhore once. Shit was fun.

As an aside, this campaign was a Rock'n Roll inspired homebrew and my character decked Lou Reed in the face. Wish my friend would DM it again.

Knights + dragongirls are the patrician's pairing.

Sorcerers and Warlocks were always the devastatingly charming gentlemen of our breakthroughs.

If you ever played a bard with that mindset then you are a criny virgin and you don't belong in our hobby

>not playing a pimp bard.

I mean he's more of a pimp accountant.

If your entire party isn't whores/manwhores, you're doing it wrong.

You have to understand that DnD classes are power fantasy archetypes, and Bard is the most charisma centric and I believe it predates the other charisma classes but I've been wrong before

Looks like that dragon is having buyer's remorse.
She should revoke her consent and take that cis white male for every copper piece he has.

Did you just assume that persons gender and race? You might have just erased the identity of a polygendered transnigger you insensitive bigot.

>'allowed'

See

FPBP

>Bard
>Not paladin
>High charisma, high strength, knight in shining armour

shoo shoo, /pol/ goblins.

But in the end, when Wizards become all powerful, women will want them.

>Be a low level Wizard
>Get overlooked and shunned
>Master magic and become a god
>Now everyone wants to be your friend or lover
>Can no longer be bothered with such things anymore as Wizard as they are beyond it all by that point.

That's why I play sorcerer. Much the same phenomenal cosmic power, only a fraction of the effort. Leaves plenty of time for bedding every one that tickles your fancy. Best part is you aren't even some homely anti-social dweeb at low level.

The only obstacle is people often assume they're Christian or something and therefore expected to be chaste.

Honestly bards just let people know about their "adventures"

Wizards get all the same stuff but are quiet about it.

Summoning angles and demons is great.(actually a spell in nymphology)

>implying Charlemagne had pagan knights, let alone that his closest retainers were pagans
laughingmaidens.jpg

In what RPG settings does Charlemagne exist?

That's why you clearly state you are playing a paladin of Sune/Shelyn/etc. and have their symbol emblazoned proudly on your armor and shield.

How can you justify calling things Paladins in your game if they aren't even loosely inspired by paladins?

Lots of people really like using the word "paladin" for righteous holy warriors in general and the character class in D&D (whose settings are most often all-pagan) in particular, so when I use said word I can generally expect people to understand I mean that.

Sure, but you wouldn't call a spear wielding warrior wearing only a wolfskin a paladin, even if he is a holy warrior for Odin.
The trappings of a christian knight are pretty core to the paladin class as a concept, IMO. Therefore its not unreasonable to assume that a paladin of an unspecified order probably has an unfavorable view of promiscuity.

You make a fair point. But, likewise, I think my point still stands, that that assumption, however reasonable, is the only thing standing between paladins and enjoying the pleasures of intimate company.

There is literally nothing wrong with being a virgin

BEE TEE EFF OH
T
F
O

The word paladin comes from the Latin "Palatine" meaning servant or government official. It makes sense that the historical word paladin would come from this since the paladins were senior members of Charlemagne's court, but even fantasy being called this makes sense since they are still knights (a word which is rooted in the old english word for servant) and are indeed servants of justice, of the people, or of their gods.

Essentially unless you are using 100% made up languages and/or words (eg. if you mentioned seeing a knight nobody would have a clue what you mean because what you call knights they call "kenbans" or whatever) it makes perfect sense for paladins to be holy knights of justice and law.

says the virgin

Personally I would say wizards should be the manwhores. They're shut up in their towers with their books for a long time, deprived of women, and when they finally do get out into the world they have the magic to have some VERY kinky sex.

There is if you're cringey about it.

>criny virgin
>don't belong in our hobby
Pick one.

Alter Self is only a 2nd level spell.

If anyone ever wondered where all the Dragonblooded Sorcerers, Tieflings, and Aasimar came from, here it is.

>>Sure, but you wouldn't call a spear wielding warrior wearing only a wolfskin a paladin, even if he is a holy warrior for Odin.
Why not? If he's a righteous holy warrior then he could very well be a paladin. Things are not so superficial when it comes to classes.

>castercucks thinking girls actually want their scrawny asses

>Alter Self
Face it, Martials are made irrelevant in sex by second level spells.

she has to let time go by so it becomes he said.she said. After hinting she was raped for 1 to 2 years

I thought Druids have that free love thing going on for them.
And Rogues could be manwhores if they weren't either hopeless romantics or sociopaths.

...

Like he is in control of being a manwhore

When I describe my PC as a man wearing a bear pelt and wielding a spear, would you sooner assume he is a paladin or a barbarian?

Barbarian. Then when he starts espousing godly virtues and healing people while smiting evil I would learn that he is in fact a paladin, not a Barbarian.
Mate, if you look like a cunt does it make you a cunt? Or maybe just someone with resting bitch face, or someone whose dog has died of ass cancer?

You are a very silly, very angry man.

No, I'm just Australian.

Well, yeah, if you want to be specific.

...

>Alter self
>20" penis
>Horribly painful for the unfortunate woman receiving
>Refuse to stop giving yourself a 20" dick

I take it that bard fucks everything that stands still long enough to let him.

That werewolf has some huge tits

I never noticed before but from the looks of it the scorpion girl is flirting with the centaur and making some headway.

Only if he knows she's female

I'm failing to see the problem here, he seems to be doing a fantastic job of resolving conflicts peacefully (with his dick).

Sometimes he causes them.

Since elfwood isn't around anymore is there anywhere to find his stuff?

>having sex with the Christmas spirit
>having SEX with a CONCEPT
I've got to admit I am seriously impressed by this guy. Even better, the guy seems to make a child every time he has sex (although I have to wonder how much attention those children get when theres dozens of them and he's always adventuring)

Because he literally blows the flute for money

youtube.com/watch?v=W5_-ou6H7eg

>Aiden Gillen will always and ALWAYS be known for a 3 minute scene in movie as a nameless character

it's a good scene

>roll cleric
>discounts at whore-houses for free health inspections

bump

Memes.

You know Sex with a Monk would probably be a STUNNING expirience.

All of them have some sort of tit coverage except the scorpion who is full nips, what gives? Why go out of your way to cover up the mermaid and minotaur and centaur when you have nipples on the page already?

Sticking to previous character designs, I assume.

So the scorpion kid loses his hands and doesn't even get a killer tail? Lame.

No, she gets a tail. Look closer, it's behind her left claw.

...

Ah, I see. Also somehow got tiger stripes, but at lEast they get the sweet tail.