Things you can say to your girlfriend but not The Emperor

Things you can say to your girlfriend but not The Emperor

"I think we should spend some time apart"

>No, that's a bad idea.

I think you would make great parent one day.

You're a good parent.

>get up honey, you cant stay on the couch all day!

What two and eleven stand for?

Your kids are so well mannered

Alternatively : I want you to sit on it.

>I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that...

Sometimes I think humanity is irredeemable

...

>...God-Emperor of Mankind...

Get up off that chair, we need to be somewhere

Horus did nothing wrong.

Fight me!

I'm sure I will love your children like they're my own.

All I ever wanted was the truth.

Your love doesn't always feel real.

>I think you did something wrong...

I can't say anything to either, they're both fictional

>Emperor
>fictional

let's go for a walk

>Do you believe in God?

>Saying that to anyone
HERESY

"You're a heretic."

>actually believing in any of the gods people consider "real" over The God Emperor of Mankind

The last thing you would expect catching the Commissar doing

Your mom.

Sometimes I think you only see me as a tool

>BLAM!

Giving the guardsmen "You did a good job!" stickers to help improve morale.

I just can't see any commissar doing that.

Masturbating with Power Fist on.

My sister

Attacking in an opposite direction.

Stabbing xenos with his other power sword.

Not being fabulous.

>I'll look past it this one time

>Everyone retreat! Flee for your lives! We can't possibly hope to defeat this evil!

...

Being practical and efficient.

Actually delivering sound tactics to his troops

> I want to fuck you right now.
> Why don't you ever swallow?

I can see Cain doing it.

Also Cain.

Things your talking sword says about your shield but not the party wizard.

>He can take a hit

We can rely on him to help

>are you interested in being saved by Jesus?

Actually shooting the enemies

Cain's hardly your typical commissar, though

That's a decent use of the off hand.

You have a lovely voice.

Giving the emperor a sponge bath.

Do you like my one headed hydra imperatus?

I would be more efficient if you were not here.

kek

Things you can say to the prince, but not the bishop.

...

are you sure Big E is not a Heretic?

We've found a diablerist!

Anything wrong

I want to worship you.

Open it yourself.

Boom.

>the last words of a monk

My name is, Wish Create Demiplane Miracle Sleep Color Spray Blindness/Deafness Summon Creature Fabricate Scry Teleport Fly

"I’ll tell of this to the tzarina."

"Wait, you mean my entire life's purpose was to become akin to an Angel or Devil, and there are people out there who do what I do, but get to mess around with spiritual makeup the corpses of millions of my ancestors and likeminded brethren whilst practicing similar disciplines that manipulate the very stuff we worked our asses off to perfect and died for to achieve with even better results, because they're stepping on our generations of progress and achievement through master of self?

Incarnum man.

Giving me a promotion
>"Damn, she thick"
Have you accepted Lucifer as humanity's lord and savior?
>"Death is the dusk of existence. It is always followed by a sunrise."

kek

What do you mean by
>"to because a student of a kung-fu master I have to trade my dick or my tounge?!"

"I can survive this fall, trust me."

Too soon

"Well, I suppose my soul would taste like noodles. Why?

>You made me do this

>things you shouldn't do in a dungeon corridor

I worship you, darling.

Going first.

>going in at all

Pulling out too late.
Not bringing enough back up
Forgetting your protection at home

Maybe you should loss some weight

'I cast fire ball'

walk backwards

...

I wish you weren't a corpse

>the difference between a green dragon and your GM

I am not a dragon. And am not green.
Play soccer.
...

one knows how to spit very dangerous foul things, the other just spits poison.

One is a Huge, Lawful Evil creature with Frightful Precense, the other is a dragon.

One's lair is a damp, stinking and dark place, the other prefers to hide behind a waterfall.

My GM will ONLY jack off to scalies

I wouldn't fuck my GM

>I'm going to plough that ass like virgin soil!

I can't use a dice roll to seduce my GM.

You just need the right kind of dice.

>those mold seams

...You know what fuck it i'm going to to reply. From your perspective that is a perfectly rational position and arguing with you will in no way change your mind. In fact attempting to defend my beliefs would probably just drive you further into your own convictions. You keep doing you user. I wish you luck in life and I hope you're happy. And I mean that truthfully, not in a sarcastic passive aggressive kind of way. It would be really pathetic of me to get all pissy at some guy on the internet. Screams about insecurities really. Anyway, I don't agree with your perspective, but that's fine. Have a nice day.

>things you shouldn't say to an ice giant

it was ice knowing you

>ice giant
Please don't deport me.