Earth gets invaded by lovecraftian creatures

youtube.com/watch?v=9i4T6nRPC1Q

>the more well-built the lego structures are, the more postitive energy
>however, single pieces broken off of the structure possess negative energy

>blunt object associated with joy and positive energy
I might have an idea

What happens if we use laughing gas?

Can we hold hands with cute girls to drive them off?

Start punching them with oven mitts.

Who doesn't like home cooking?

>Tfw, people don't really see laughing gas as a drug.
>However there is one thing that people will always think off when laughing gas comes to mind...
Want to know how we got our scars, demon?

So should cards work by just throwing them or should we go full animu and have people swinging around giant cards Luxord style?

If we're going to go full anime with yu-gi-oh, why wouldn't we go anime in the same way the actual yu-gi-oh anime does it?

So we're going to fuck them up with cards on motorcycles then send them straight to the shadow realm?

Better to bake starshaped cookies for the ninja wannabes to throw at them!

So we're crushing two birds with one stone by creating both a weapon AND a healing snack!
Now we just need some ginger bread armies.

>When you have your Beyblades still
I'm going to be the first man to CUT A SHOGGOTH IN HALF WITHOUT IT REPRODUCING VIA FISSION.

What about very rare cards, like the god cards or the forbidden one?

>FUN ALLOWED.jpg setting
>"Happiness is mandatory, citizen. Pessimists turn into zombies. Edgelords become demons."
>"Now stop sulking and go destroy them with the power of joy!"

It's high noon.

Plastic/foam swords for days!

>These things feed upon negative emotions and energies. Since traditional weapons have so much negativity associated with them they do literally no damage.
Clearly, you've never been to /k/.
That said, I was always more of a reader than a run around playing person. Maybe I could smack the mothers with one of my books.

Thinking it over, couldn't one kill them with food too? Because I really, really like the idea of bashing a gribbly gribbly monster with the Salsa I've made with my dad.

bitch please

You'd generate positive energy if you geld hands with a girl, but the overwhelming amount of revulsion from the girl would generate more negative energy.

>I have to wing my electronics at them
FUCK THIS

My penis has brought me more pleasure than any material item, so I'd probably just rape them.

I've got a foam Excalibur. Yes, the Type-Moon one. Y'think that'd work? If not, old transparent NERF gun, baseball bat, plastic Mjolnir, plastic Master Sword. ONE of these has gotta work.

What if I am some punk-ass ghetto kid whose favorite toy is a gun?

Literally the only thing I feel nostalgia for. I practiced for hours lining up shots, from different elevations, different angles, different types of targets. The other kids would have me take their parts and build them better hybrids - out of the dozen or so people playing with B-Daman, I was considered the king.

>toys are rounded up by the millions and used as weapons in a war of existential terror
>in the hour of their greatest need, children are left without comfort, toys stripped from them, parents murdered by terrifying monstrosities, dying of starvation and disease
>after an abbreviated generation of fighting, the last child who even remembers the purpose of a toy is killed
>bright colors, clear plastic, and Mattel sound effects are now terrifying images of combat
>toys are no longer a beacon of innocence, happiness, and laughter
>the great old ones no longer harmed as toys are now just another mortal machination with no meaning and no value
Well done, asshole OP. You've doomed us all.

>sidequest involves helping a neighboorhood's last defenders stay afloat
>their de facto leader has anger issues and one of their lower ranks is wrestling with depression
>either put them down once they turn, or bring them back from the brink

>therapists are a literal godsend
>most of Veeky Forums turns zombie in seconds

Why would the tools that allowed humanity to survive in its darkest hour NOT become symbols of hope, of survival, of the chance at a future?

Because it's not hope that would destroy a great old one. Humans always have hope. That's why they would fight at all. Why a person would run from a threat that is devouring the entire world. A shogoth or some such beastie would love hope. It would keep everyone from committing mass suicide and make sure there are always snacks around. Toys don't give children hope. They give them happiness and imagination. They're a symbol of innocence. Using a weapon in war for primal survival is the antithesis of innocence. The very act of using a toy as a weapon would strip away what makes it powerful in the first place.

Upon hearing of the existence and weakness of these creatures, I'll adopt the following plan. Every night, I will beat off to the idea of lovecraftian horrors. I will not look at porn or real women during these times, all for the sake of humanity. Eventually, I will have conditioned myself to get aroused by the eldritch abominations. Then, when I see such a creature, I can unzip my pants and wield my weapon of hope. For a future worth living.

By that logic, it's unwinnable, as the very act of fighting back leads to death, and rolling over to die has the same effect.

>implying you'd have to condition yourself to such a thing

Am I the only one who faps to shoggoths at least once a week?

That's the horror of it. Humanity dies either way and the only way to destroy the horrors would be to destroy the only thing sustaining them, ourselves.

You might be the Chosen One to vanquish the darkness.
>"W̢̧̬̼̆͛ͯ̊ͭ̊̏ͭȨ̢̣̤̹͔̇̒͗̕ ̙͓̬̬̜̙̺͎͙ͭ̃̐̒͒͗͡H̶̷͎͓̫͖̯̖̮̳̟̃Ȁ̭͇̯͇͕͇̼̾̉̀͋̎͆͟͠V̘̰͉̎̏͐ͭE͉̖̭̳͌̚̚ ̤͖̻̹͈ͣ͋ͪ͗ͫC̢̤̪͉̮̬͗̎̌O̺̤͐̈́̀͘͡M̵̨̜̥̣̖͇͓͕̠̤ͮͯḘ̡̹̥͖͎͖͔̋̍ͫ̏̍́̀ ̡͚̯̇͒ͨͨ̎ͮT̛̖͔̋ͦͣͬͩͨ͢O̜͎̬̞͛ͫ͊̑͐̑ͤͤ͢ ̫̙̺̟̱̬ͧͤ͑̔D̶̬͙̜͙̂͌̔ͤ̀͜E̢͉̘͇̙͎̯͗̌̑̓͘͠V̧̤̥̋͛̈́̒ͬ̑Ȏ̤̗̞̹̦ͨ̐̍̃Ȗ̢͈͕͙͚̺̮̺ͯ̆̍͐̍̀̐̚R̶͓̠̹͙̝̩̊̎̊."

>"Oh myyyyyy."

*teles bhind u

MY POWER IS MAXIMUM

These Monsters are about to get SMASHED!

The OP said POSITIVE energy, not just innocence and childlike wonder.
This means that even religious symbols and hope should work just as well as happiness.
It would work, but keep in mind regular toys and whatever else being used because of it's positive energy will be allot more silent.

Considering the fact we have people running around with cookie throwing stars, yes.
Then again if that's too goofy it can also substitute for healing items.

>*pulls out Gagaga yugioh deck*
>*pulls out \number 7: Lucky Straight*
never lets me down.

I wield my trusty staff.

Was there ever any doubt?

>These things take the form of whatever humans see as negative, despite not truly being these things. Their power limited to how much negative energy they can harvest.
The internet alone fucking dooms us all

Don't know why this caught me so off-guard, I almost spit out my coffee