What are some of the worst character backstories you have encountered

If you really want to be sad, one of those players was 55 and the other 41 during that year.

For an AdEva game there was a gem of a Manufactured character who "looked like a patchwork of different body parts" that used a picture of Rei with a bunch of stitches all over her for a profile pic. She was apparently "half Angel," and had multiple personalities -one of them timid, one of them energetic, and one of them psychotic, natch.

That the GM didn't reject this out of hand pretty much sums up how the campaign went.

The PC was the son of a wealthy noble.
The PC's father was the rightful king.
The PC had led an army to help his father get to the throne.
Even though the army fought great, due to his excellent leadership and skill in battle, they lost.
He was captured and put on a slave ship for ten years.
He escaped and rallied the prisoners and took over the ship.
As Captain, he fought pirates and kraken.
Lost the ship to an elven war ship.
Swam to shore, lived alone in the jungles.
Took over a headhunter tribe.
Crossed the mountains through an underground secret passage, killed many drow while doing that.
Reached the desert, fought off giant scorpion and nomads.
Made it to the inn and met the rest of the party.
He was a lv1 17 year old fighter.
No ranks of survival, boating, military, nobles, no diplomacy...7 charisma.

I mean c'mon...

EotE online. A "female" doctor whose gender was listed under "Other" (We suspected trap) who was sexually hyperactive and got hired to our group for cheap after they were dismissed for bad touching patients at work. The GM (who'd take anyone on board with a correct Application) approved them just before playing so us players didn't have enough time to check the backstory.

My character got hurt and immediately got "treated" by the Doc.

And yes, the group did dissolve pretty quickly.

Not mine, but it's that time again.

docs.google.com/document/d/1TGqNOvvc5Xi4XFdkEA9kn0D4oXEf-JYWTNXBS6qovm0/edit?usp=sharing

"Pain.

The first sensation I remember. Babies usually smile, they laugh, wrap their needy little fingers around smiling parent’s hands. I laugh. It’s cute, really, to think about. Truthfully though, as I lay here counting the patterns in the cement cracks, I’d have no idea what affection, love, or even a smile would look like. Not one that wasn’t tainted with blood, malice, or wicked enjoyment.

My father’s favorite past time -ah dear Lord Fassain Dumort- was showing me images of my childhood. Ones I don’t remember, ones I do, ones that I mistakenly admitted were fuzzy. Vampires, great lords like Father Dumort, love to play mind games. Many have often misconstrued my father for a psionic. He can’t hurt anyone, I’ve never seen him peel anyone’s skin off with his mind, but Lord Fassain does not need to physically hurt someone to leave them helpless. Sometimes a person’s memories, their fears, are the worst holes in armor. And, Great Lord Fassain makes sure none of his servants ever forget.

My earliest memories are fuzzy. The memories one creates as a baby are quickly buried as life unfolds. It hurts to forcibly rip them from the dredges of your mind. Dear Father knows this. Much of his free time was spent cutting my infant memories from my subconscious and putting them on display for my younger self..."

"My character is mute".

>Even though the army fought great, due to his excellent leadership and skill in battle, they lost.
>He was a lv1 17 year old fighter.
>No ranks of survival, boating, military, nobles, no diplomacy...7 charisma.
>due to his excellent leadership and skill in battle, they lost.
Sounds about right.

All the same person? Holy shit.

Last character I wrote a backstory for was pretty simple. Tiefling in Cheliax Basically literal devil worshiper country for those who don't know, mother was barren and desired a child, made a literal deal with the devil and got impregnated. If he snapped his fingers or did the deed himself is open to interpretation.

Oh come on. Tell me more!

Both of you are the most disguting, putrid piles of shit I have seen in a long time. Lurk goddamn more you new fucking faggots.

This is verbatim from an autist that joined a west marches I ran through a friend of theirs, which resulted in me kicking both this player, and all of their friends from the campaign.

"Dragon Witch" Reina Nesara is a High Elf with a pale cmplextion a prepetual frown on her face. shes taller then a avrage elf and walks with a gracce that subjests noble upbrining. she where fine clothes seperated in lously connected sections that draw attention to there desighn as much as they try to hide some of her fetures. the hood hides most of her face and knee length hair of light blue and white hang form bolth sides, if she takes of the hood her hair in back is tied in to two equaly long twin tails. white scales cover parts of her body and the ones on her forhead form some what of a scaley tieara.

Why are you on an anime imageboard?

It says "Veeky Forums - Traditional Games" at the top, fuckwit

I repeat, why are you on an anime imageboard? You could just go back to r*ddit, you know.

M8 this is a mongolian grass weaving board

Got this from one of my players in my first campaign
>Frederik is a 36 year old tiefling paladin. He was abandoned by his birth parents at birth due to the pure darkness inside of him. Raising himself by his will to survive he managed to find a small cottage in the middle of nowhere who had humans who could not sense his darkness and decided to raise him. He lived a happy life with them until cultists burned his house down with him and his family inside. As you can guyess this traumatized the young tiefling but he survived, even though he saw his adopted parents die in front of him. He swore revenge on them and left home and was taken under the tutolage of a paladin who was attacked by some of the same cultits who he saved by impaling them on his horns. The paladin was greatful and decided to train the teen in all forms of combat. Frederick was rejected by the paladin order at first because of his darkness but he also showed them the hidden lightness inside him to and defeated all the paladins in a duel to test his purity. He know travels around looking for the rest of the cultists who killed his friendly family and prove that he can be good or bad, as long as you don’t mess with him.

Lurk the fuck more

it says Veeky Forums at the top. Oni-chan.

Fuck you I kill you

I thought it was a Chinese cat fart sniffing forum.

Nah, it's a turkish pottery burning website

>Frederik is a 36 year old tiefling paladin.
Okay. Not bad. Not bad. He's playing someone a bit older. This could go either way at this point.

>He was abandoned by his birth parents at birth due to the pure darkness inside of him.
Aaaaand I'm done. Let me off. Goodbye.

This board is for canadian glassblowing. Potturks go and stay go.

>He was 7 maximum when start leading armies

>55252138
>55252070
>55251820

Youtube was founded as a social network
Reddit was founded as a news aggregator
Facebook was for uni students only

Shit changes, keep your weebshit in your weeb containment boards.

how does it feel to be so pathetic that you derive satisfaction from trying to bar random people online from your special secret internet club

Have you ever seen a PC who doesn't speak the common language be a power gaming move ?

I have in the first RPG I played. Stereotypical samurai pulled from the distant past, so he only spoke a dead language. We had another PC who could translate for him*.

Now for the powergaming part. The samurai was optimized for combat and was basically untouchable. In this system, characters could attack by hurling insults, which allowed them to take out PCs like that. But insults don't work that well when the insulter and insulted don't share a language.

*I joined the campaign after it started, so I don't know how the player of the translator was convinced to do so.

Jesus fucking Christ, man.

Literally made 10 seconds ago and provided a soul by one of the other players.

Anima is a wierd game sometimes

>Shit changes
>keep your weebshit in your weeb containment boards.
jesus, end yourself. This has always been a weeb site, pretending it isn't is just fucking retarded. Even if you don't enjoy anime, don't pretend like this entire site isn't for weebs.

Never post again, idiot.

Here it comes OP, Prepare the cringe.

one night of fall. I was on the rode going to -city name- when i heard a strange noise. i slowly turn back and see a huge and royal dragon. It was the most betyful, rare and imposing dragon that i had ever seen before. He was wonderful . I was terrified in front of that beast when i realize that her wing was bocks by a net. Then i take my hunting knife cut down the net. then the dragon stand and grab me by the arm before i realize i was in a donjon the dragon thank me for my help and in return help me to learnd the dragonisme language.

oui oui le dragonisme :D

I'll never stop laughing at this one

Just like yoko ono.

Stop trying to force this meme, faggot. You're like the autistic kid everyone knew in high school who made one half decent joke and then repeated it ad infinitum, desperate for attention.

>in battle skin is black
Alas, I too have my amount of visible melatonin increase when I become angry.

Melanin, fuck. I guess I really have been taking those pills for too long.

>Gets mad
>Falls asleep

>Height 5'10
a manlet

That would be a fun fake backstory for a compulsive liar.

>I become sleepy when I become angry

Sounds like a weird hindrance you'd take during point buy character creation.

Are you also 180lbs of pure mucle?

>This has always been a weeb site

Veeky Forums fucking invented the usage of 'weeaboo' as a derogatory term for Japanophile you fucking newfag.

Yes Veeky Forums was founded for anime fans but there's a pretty big gap between 'anime fan' and 'weeaboo'.

That... is an excellent point. In the future I do plan a rogue type who is pretending to be a wizard. That kind of fake backstory sounds like fun.

>Typical Young Adult tier female protagonist.
>Boring, bland, can't do shit, speak in sarcasm, pretend to be good looking and demanding "appearance" preferences.
>At least of these 4 in one campaign because they was dying of stupid reasons.
>One of them comitted suicide because "Nobody likes her, I want to make a new one and try again".
>Player created a character with different name, class and backstory.
>It's the same annoying bitch.

Character wasn'tt the worst thing I saw, but there was too many of them.

>You're like the autistic kid everyone knew in high school who made one half decent joke and then repeated it ad infinitum, desperate for attention.

Just like yoko ono?

Underwater basket weaving, plebs.

Kek

This character only happened because we were playing with a brand new DM and everybody in the group was being a dick.

>Guy grew up as a science experiment by mind flayers
>Trained him to be an expert in all forms of combat
>Modified him with angel wings and a demon arm
>Gave him a scythe to fight with
>Totally min maxed the fuck out of him so he can literally fight CR 10 bosses by himself at level 5.
>Personality wise he's a total dick and fucks over every other member of the party
>Ultimately actually kills another party member because he was getting too powerful.

And the worst bit is that the player was a complete sperg and played him completely straight. It was still a fun campaign, but I remember this guy almost ruining it.

The BS for EotE and FaD starter characters, eg the ones you get with the book, is literally BS.

Other than that, someone once made an orphaned little girl. I strongly suspect the character never had an actual, written bs.

If she'd bothered to integrate the karmic cycles and the constant heap of fail into her story, it could have turned into a great character.
She could have been the female shinji if she had just bothered to connect the dots she made herself.

I have a friend that gets TOO creative when making characters. The thing is he makes extremely flawed characters. At least he really commits to role playing them. When asked about it he says that it's because otherwise he makes them too perfect.

This was for a zombie campaign:
>Meet Pedro Danilo da Silva, a brazilian-mexican hunter who lives in the Amazon jungles poaching endangered species
>illiterate, although he knew some english for the sake of the campaign
>spoke in third person like a cartoon caveman and referred to himself as "Indio"
>ugly motherfucker missing an eye
>addicted to booze and whores
>enemy: Green Peace

When I ran a 7th sea campaign, he wanted to make one of the norse equivalents, a Vestenmansomething. The first thing he said was he was a virgin that stalked a cute girl that worked at a shop. We all cringed a little, so we worked on it.
>Viking (I forget his name) lived in the slowly transitioning part of the viking countries
>his father was a fisherman and taught him the trade
>girl is his lover but her rich merchant father forbids it and takes her away from the place
>his father dies in a fight because of a dispute over some fish or something
>skald that travels around teaches him how to fight with a sword
>joins the crew to travel around and find his waifu
He still role played a sperg viking brute but it was definitely better than what he had planned.

Some of his less notorious characters include a zealous christian detective for a CoC campaign and a "fat nigger elf" for a campaign that never happened, thankfully.

>Veeky Forums fucking invented the usage of 'weeaboo' as a derogatory term for Japanophile you fucking newfag.
Think harder, retard. The joke was rooted in the original Weeaboo comic, and literally meant that one Alice in Wonderland parody. You ARE a Japanophile by being here, you have no business whining about it, and doing that means it's a paddlin'.

>there's a pretty big gap between 'anime fan' and 'weeaboo'.
Not anymore, with the way it's used.

Sounds like that guy read too much teen titans.

>In this system, characters could attack by hurling insults, which allowed them to take out PCs like that.
Man what

Game: Dark Heresy
Subject: That Guy, joining the game out of audacity and spite (he was allowed to stay in the hopes of storytime)

A sheriff serving on his same homeworld, a planet of numerous high mesas where the vast majority of the lower atmosphere is occupied by continuous roiling storms, forcing the human colonists upwards where they are forced to rely upon aeronautical craft to get from one mesa to another. He was from a unit called the "Storm Hawks", a group of island-hoppers who delivered TRUTH AND JUSTICE to backwater provincial towns. He had a rose quartz necklace given to him by his mother, who died during childbirth, and he believes this necklace has some significance in his life. He's a fair man of the law and not one of those horrible neo-nazi fascist fucks like Space Cops usually are, and he's atheist and smarter than all of those peasants worshipping some Emperor he's never met.

This was his refined backstory after 3 hours of stuttering, hemming, hawing, refusing to look at the rulebook, and basically declaring what he wanted and telling the people who actually knew how the game worked to figure out how to let him do it.

(Cont'd, 1/?)

Not a specific sample, but I have never had a good dragonborn/scalie character. They've all been edgy self-inserts who play up the "chaotic evil" angle in the most obnoxious, uninspired way possible.

>Storm Hawks
I remember that show.

Touch

I remember touch

Much better from deriving satisfaction and pleasure from being a fucking idiot that can't use an online search engine, a 20 year old invention. How does it feel to be actively advocating for the decline of quality in discussion and increase of people being retarded? Or, more likely, you're a stupid, new, normalfag that's so far below the baseline you think everyone's just making a sarcastic in-joke when they tell you to lurk more or that you're fucking stupid. Go somewhere else you low-iq neurotypical apple-product using subhuman faggot nigger.

It would actually have been a decently interesting backstory if he had ever actually tried to justify any of what he was doing, and if it wasn't blatantly stolen from shitty cartoons. He built as a Frontier Worlder/ Adeptus Arbite/ Ace, and dumped all of his EXP into maxing out his Voidship skill while neglecting Aeronautica or anything with utility or investigation at all. We tried to explain the difference between Voidship and Aeronautica, but he didn't want to hear it because HOLY SHIT I CAN PILOT A SPACE SHIP.

So basically he's a Sheriff of the Space FBI who never deploy to their homeworlds to maintain neutrality and value of the law over local culture, who is serving on his homeworld because he said so. The character's job required diplomatic skills and the ability to pilot aircraft, neither of which he even put a single point into, because SPAAAAAACE. The way that he spoke showed that he had a massive Antitheism Boner that no libertarian utopia could quench. He also never provided any sort of reason why his character would ever be offworld, let alone why he would be on the planet we were starting the game on. He considered it railroading that we didn't just completely scrap the 3 sessions of established relations on a different planet and immediately translate to the adventures of Quickdraw McGraw the Starship Captain and some other people, too.

You don't want to know what his original concept was that he had to be talked out of playing.

...

...

Any more stories of awfulness?

I don't thinks it is that bad, once you go past the bad writing.
I mean, sure all that about his true fathers abandoning him at birth has been cliched to death, but it can be played well.

A paladin who fights against inner darkness or even one who embraces darkness as a sort of "light" but still follows righteous ideals could be interesting, but the rest of that story is just so painfully generic.

I like Shadow

What a twist ending

Yes we do

"YEAH, WELL FU-" HOoOoOonk GrOoOoOonk
"Is he... snoring?"
"Yeah, seems about right."

>that smug shit-eating grin in the bottom right corner
wtf i love shadow now

Those kids always tried to follow me. I'd ask them why they acted half their age and they'd tard-rage.
Now they all play 40k.

scythes require martial weapon proficiency which implies he isn't a full caster so I'm guessing he wasn't actually min maxed or was using broken home-brew

He can be fun when the plot doesn't revolve around him.

>Trained him to be an expert in all forms of combat
Meaning he had a level into fighter.

I think that's only really a good idea in 5E for casters but scythes aren't stated in 5E I'm pretty sure, who knows, I have a feeling that this guy was either using home-brew or didn't actually exist

When we originally explained 40k to him, all he evidently heard was "DEMONS", "MAGIC", "RELIGION", and "LASERS".

He proceeded to announce that he was going to play a cross between John Constantine and Dr. Strange: a master exorcist who was also an atheist and therefore superior to all of these Emperor-worshipping plebians who was a sorceror of unlimited power at the same time who could manipulate reality however he wanted.

We heard, "Alpha-plus Psyker who actively and frequently decries the Church of the God Emperor." The character concept never made it to paper, it was just so hilariously self-indulgent and went against everything 40k stood for according to us, but we thought that if we went back through and explained it again with emphasis and offered ideas on how to improve his next concept, then we could come to enough of an agreement to let him finish learning through direct interaction with the setting via roleplay.

We were wrong.

Besides Mr. Literally-always-plays-a-samurai-named-ryu, I was the most That Guy out of my friends back in the day. Here's my first character, tell me how ThatGuy he is on a scale of 1-10.
>James Kyler
>Orphaned at a young age in an accident that only he survived due to a healing factor mutation he had.
>Gaining this power so early he never really developed any real sense of danger.
>At the orphanage he would take dangerous dares for money, earning him the name "Kamikaze Kyler".
>Deciding to make a career out of this, he became a Hollywood stuntman.
>Hired for a role in which he fights with a pair of katana, he moved to japan to learn to wield them.
>Still desperate for a father figure, when the old Swordsmith that was teaching him took him in, he decided to stay and master the art of Bushido.
>Years later he returned to America to help deal with the sudden zombie apocalypses that had sprung up.

There's stat'd rules for everything that character did in 3.5

>Name:Shadow
>(Pale Skin(In battle skin is black)
i fucking died

Is it possible to solo a cr 10 creature at level 5 as a martial or gish in 3.5, genuinely curious

>Kyler
Honestly out of all of the rest of this, that name is what bothers me the most because it forces me to take into account that there are probably people who would name their kid something like that.

Sometimes I think the Danes are right to have a state-mandated list of first names for babies that aren't fuckin' weird.

There are people named Reagan, Kennedy, and Skyler out there. Not surnames, but actual personal names. Kinda fucked.

>defeated all the paladins in a duel to test his purity

How the hell do you test purity by duking it out in the ring?

His ancestors practiced the ancient and honorable craft of kyling. Nothing wrong with the name, mate.

Just like yoko ono.

How do you test purity WITHOUT duking it out in the ring ?
What are you, a wizard ?

Sometimes, if you do it right. Get fly by attack and you just become unkillable to a lot of things.

Pictures came with touch
A painter in my mind
Tell me what you see

Faggots