Slaanesh love thread

I thought we were the ultra gay ones.

They're too much of a bunch of pussies to handle Slaanesh. If they want to lessen the sex part, they can delve into more of the greed, pain, and perfection aspects of Slaanesh.

Incest? Incest.
I can have my cake and snort it too.

Nah, we just don't want to kill our families to get our rocks off

As much as we would like to, our genitalia is FAR TOO LARGE and MANGLED BY NECROSIS to engage in GLORIOUS INFECTED INTERCOURSE with our most beloved famiyl members, the BACTERIA CURRENTLY FOUND IN OUR DIGESTIVE TRACT.

Wait, we are. I guess corpsies are ultra no-fun prudes.

>Posts a comic of a Tzeentch demon
what did it mean by this

>no dicks or even a stable hole to fuck
REEEE!

Why would you worship slaanesh when you could worship a better god like the deceiver or void dragon.

Ultra no-fun prudes.
I read that in Gilbert Gottfried's voice damn it.

Exactly why no actual Slaanesh cultist wants to fraternise with Nurgle cults.
Ironically we get along best with Khorne.

Ever hear of bugchasers, user? Messy end result or not, some cultists are bound to try it.

neither of those are better options
bugchasers are Nurgle cultists user

We have infertrated their ranks. Soon, all will be consumed by Slaanesh.
Also, that pic is just for demonstrating my comment.

>get fucked over by a greater god, just like Tzeentch cultists, except this time he wants to kill you without fail and eat all your stars
>Worshipping a lame machine god that once again, wants to kill you and eat all your stars.

At least the Nurglites embody life too.

>Infiltrating
>Tzeentch's ranks
user... I think you don't realize it's been the other way around the whole time. Just tread softly or extract before you're suddenly turned into a cube by some bird, or something like that.

I understand their power of change allows many intercourse options us cultists would normally only dream of, but it's not worth it.

At least the deceiver has a stake in this world.

Tzeentch and slaanesh can just chill in the warp and be fine. The deceiver actually has to care about what happens in the materium

Chaos is the expression of life itself magnified and distorted back at itself.
Slaanesh is just the best kind of life.

If you think about it, Nurgle is the Chaos God most welcome to turning his followers into immortal Daemons because of the Nurgle's Rot thing, whereas you usually have to distinguish yourself in some way otherwise. What a slut.

Send in the babes.

I have to disagree here, because while I am a Slaanesh worshipper, the Orks are clearly the highest pinnacle of life in that they have adapted in such a way that even the stupidest, simplest acts can grant them immense pleasure.

Orks are artificial life though.
The fact that they're the highest pinnacle doesn't stop Chaos being the expression of life.

That maybe true but at its core, it's artificial. Though, we could learn a thing or two from them...

I like my babes with dicks.

>Ironically we get along best with Khorne.
The hell we do...

>Soon, all will be consumed by Slaanesh.
ALL SHALL RETURN TO MOTHER!!!

>user... I think you don't realize it's been the other way around the whole time.
Or IS IT?!?!

>Send in the babes.
ON IT!

Irreverant Reverend Baerbak the Debauched here.
What is it with you lazy Nurgle Bastards? Oh the world is all in dispair, I must go to a father who loves me, accept me for who I am, who's gifts deadens my senses til I feel nothing. That's not love!

If your father really loved you he'd spank you with a leather bound nail board, Violate you with a spiky marital aid, and nurse you back to health with his cocaine laced breastmilk. These are the actions of a loving father (if the Emperor did this more often to his sons I'd doubt they'd rebel like they did, Guilliman especially needs a rod up his ass to loosen his sensibilities).

Seriously what loving parent allows his children to sit around like autistic stoners literally rotting in their own filth, instead of nuturing them and encouraging them to excel into excess? A bad one. That's who

I'm fairly sure that if the void dragon gets off his lazy ass he would side with the AdMech.
Why would the dragon kill his source of worship and protection from the 'crons? I wouldn't, shit long term plan.

I want a Vdragon shard for my AdMech army.

Hey now, we don't ALL just sit around. Some of us kill entire planets quicker than even the most fearsome Khornates.

We kind of do though.
We're both the melee specialists, the reasons are different but the end result to our victims is similar.
A master swordsman straddles the line between Khorne and Slaanesh very easily.
Heck Excessive Violence even applies to both.
There's bound to be cults that apply to both.

Honestly last edition our daemons having hatred against each other made no sense, I hate Nurgle way more.

You're technically correct but you still kill planets by sitting around like autistic stoners and letting the disease you spread do the work for you.
fucking numbers agree with you though

Khorne and Slaanesh have very different view points, the Khornates have no personal desires of their own, truly, they are overcome with rage and even their sense of self is overriden by the thrall of their God, hence why their war cry is entirely focused on him and his lawnseat. They see killing as a quick affair, fit only to spew blood and claim skulls as quickly and violently as possible, while the Slaaneshi usually delight int heir prey. To Khorne, you are all pansies focused on your own desires instead of the grand cause of more and more blood for him.

Ironically neough though, one of the chaos warbands with the quickest kill rate in heretic history is actually a Nurgle warband, the Purge.

Is that the case with the Purge, though? I'm pretty sure they were more proactive about it in their fluff, especially considering they aren't happy-go-luckies like the rest of the Nurglite warbands, they think life itself as a disease and the source of all evil and its their solemn duty to destroy it all. They're quite possibly the leats Slaaneshi CSM in the whole universe, which is kind of funny given they're not Khornate.

That's because like most chaos warbands they represent a facet of their God, namely Nurgle's relation with entropy and the inevitable end of everything, even moreso than the other Nurgle Warbands. They're not interested in power or glory, only that their ancient task is done - all of Nurgle's "death" aspect, and none of his "rebirth" aspect.

Hence why I prefer Slaanesh, I'm a narcissistic hedonist, Slaanesh can take as much power from my pleasure as he wants.
Khorne is spilling blood because you're angry, Slaanesh is spilling blood because it's fun and admiring the way the blood splattered in a pattern then learning how to aim your sword strokes to paint art into the battlefield, your opponent is your palette, the battlefield the canvas, and the sword your brush.
I forgot about that actually.
I'll give Nurgle warbands this, they're efficient, kind of boring, but efficient.

>I'm fairly sure that if the void dragon gets off his lazy ass he would side with the AdMech.
>Why would the dragon kill his source of worship and protection from the 'crons? I wouldn't, shit long term plan.
Plus I'm almost certain they are a Fleshfag to begin with...
>OH NO, THIS POWERFUL MEAT CREATURE HAS BESTED ME IN MEDIEVAL COMBAT, BEST DO AS HE SAYS AND LOCK MYSELF AWAY IN AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PLANET WHILE GIVING HIS SPECIES DREAMS OF TECHNOLOGY FAR BEYOND THEIR UNDERSTANDING!

>We kind of do though.
LA LA LA LA LA, I AM NOT LISTENING, THE GREAT ENEMY MUST BE PURGED FOR A PEACEFUL UNIVERSE!!!

Khorne and Slaanesh make the best fuckbuddies.

They're also teamkilling fucktards - they were invited to one of the Black Crusades, joined, and were tasked with escorting a battleship capable of destroying the fortifications on Cadia (Think on that) along with several other Traitor legions, they turned on them all and then stole the battleship and presumably fucked off to use it in their quest to end all life. This implies that they are SO fucking death-obsessed the cause of Chaos as a whole means nothing to them, which makes them exceptionally different from most Nurgle warbands, who are usually at least passive enough to either be okay with or actively help the forces of Chaos undivided. I have to wonder what Papa Nurgle himself would think of them.

>hey let's invite the mono-god warband who is utterly obsessed with killing fucking everythign and leaving nothing behind, not even converting planets into daemon Worlds like normal Warbands do when they win
>WHAT COULD GO WRONG
abaddon genius strikes again

Again, no style, just psssssshttt, boring old bug spray on the people. How drull!

Why not wipe out all life on a planet by distilling them into drugs one can casually share amongst friends/fuckbuddies? Why not create the galaxies biggest human centipede? Why not stitch all sentient life into erotic furniture you can use whilst you use all the vegetation in a glorius bonfire to roast a still screaming banquet on? Or turn every living thing into brightly colored paints and create use the now barren rock of the planet as a canvas for histories greatest Mural?

I stand by my lazy, uninspired stoner statement. You're banal bug exterminators, not the thrilling artists of the impossible that we are.

Irreverent Reverend Baerbak the Debauched.

>friends/fuckbuddies
What's the difference?

If Slaanesh is so irresistible why does Fulgrim continue to fail to corrupt Ferrus even in shitty clone state?

No difference.

I encourage everyone to become a Slaaneshi priest like me.We kick member out who don't molest the alterboys. Or the congregation, or their pets, or the neighbours, or local neighbourhood statues. It really is a delightful career choice with ample opportunity for promotion (or extra dick tentacle if you've been really good {and by good I mean naughty})

because Fulgrim turns into a blushing schoolgirl around Ferrus and can't seduce that which has already seduced him
What if my pets molest me? That work?

>Slaanesh is so irresistible
He's really not, you need to already have a slaaneshi mindset or a rather weak will to fall to Slaanesh, as opposed to Nurgle who can basically force you to serve him (suffering from his plagues often leads people to surrender to him, as that's the only way their pain can stop. not to mention Nurgle's rot turns you into a plague-bearer upon death), Khorne who gets the most converts due to the bloody state the universe is in, and Tzeentch who can manipulate people into serving him without even knowing, including Daemons and Warbands of the other Chaos Gods.

If you really want evidenc eof how idiotic and ineffectual Slaanesh's followers are, look to that one time a Slaaneshi governor tried to summon a Keeper of Secrets for help only for the fucking Changeling (in Keeper of Secrets form) to show up and trick him into summoning the Deathwing right on top of him.

Slaanesh can take your soul just by you looking directly at him.
She took a grey knight in the fluff of the 7th edition Daemon Codex.
If you're going to talk shit at least know what you're talking about.

Do you think Slaanesh got like an NTR erection when the Doom of Malan'tai slurped up all of Craftworld Malan'tai's souls instead of just destroying the Infinity Circuit like you'd expect Tyranids to do

No matter what, Slaanesh will always find pleasure from the worst of things. And that's why I like Slaanesh.

Yes.
I also bet Slaanesh wants to get fucked by said Doom of Malan'tai.
Tyranids have dicks right?

It's not like if they don't that will sotp Slaanesh from fantasizing about them.

Since Slaanesh embodies all sexual pleasure, that means he definitely likes the idea of being topped sometimes, and I am absolutely god damn certain that being raped by hundreds of Warp-fucking Space Locusts is something she dreams of very often.

>We kick member out who don't molest the alterboys.
Ew, Lolis are not for lewd...

>or extra dick tentacle if you've been really good
Double ew...

I excessively and exclusively fantasise about being topped and being gang banged by warp-fucking space locusts with exotic cocks sounds fun.

Hello. :3

is that cropped?

I don't know, sorry

In /40kg/ it was decided that I will use EC as my army.
Any tips in the usage? I plan on using a bunch of noisy bois but beyond that I would like some advice.

Daemon Prince of Slaanesh is the most dangerous single melee monster in the game at the moment.
Delightful Agonies is amazing on multiwound things like Terminators, Bikers, and Possessed, as well as being insanely good on a Helbrute with a Plasma Cannon since he ignored any mortal wounds caused by his own gun on a 5+, and if you fail that there's a chance for the Crazed rule to go off.
Also sonic weaponry is entirely Assault, so standing still for a turn in order to make the most out of of the single frequency blastmaster mode is effective, but not efficient, Prescience can let you make the most of the assault weapons though. Being assault weapons Noise Marines actually make a surprisingly good bodyguard group for Lucius, stick 5 noisy bois in a Rhino with Lucius, advance towards the enemy with Smoke Launchers going off like a weird smoke machine until an opponent pops it, then advance towards the enemy Lucius wants to fight, generally your opponents strongest melee character, firing sonic weapons at enemies as you go.
Also we're the second most dangerous legion in melee, those noisy bois are 2 attacks base and with Icon of Excess, Excess of Violence, and a Lord of Slaanesh causing rerolls to hit they're pretty decent at clearing the chaff out of the way so Lucius can get into melee with your opponents HQ.
Remember to bring other units though, Chaos Spawn aren't complete garbage this edition, Chosen have less wounds and strength than Possessed, but have the same base attacks as Noise Marines and Berzerkers, as well as every single one being allowed to take a special weapon unless the squad has more than 5 dudes, who can be used as chaff for the 5 actually useful Chosen. They can take advantage of Excessive Violence too, and you can equip them with Power Axes and send an Exalted Champion with them if you really want to bring the hurt. Speaking of Exalted Champ, Blissgiver makes him even more of a character hunter.

EC means lots of kitbashing because stock Chaos models aren't perfect and/or pretty enough.

And to think... I hesitated...

I'll welcome the numbness. It will be a great chance to try things that are even more depraved and perfect.

Sure buddy, or frankenstein a pet from the parts of all the pets you molested, re-animate and have that molest you.

A small creature, quick somebody stick it in my anus whilst I snort this mixture of cocaine and crematorium ashes.

Also whip me.

I haven't had enough pets for that to be interesting.
I kind of want a Steed of Slaanesh to dominate me, imagine what they're like.

I'm really high from a cookie made with thc oil butter, I'm drinking passion pop, not the best drink but I'm slightly broke, and I'm about to have a bowl of more weed.
Oh and I love my boyfriend, his cock makes me melt.

mmmmmmm......Rubbing nipples with sand paper at the thought.

But really should we be discussing such things infront of the children?????????
Jokes we should totally be discussing this infront of children. I know how much children enjoy ponies, especially those with multiple lactating breasts and proboscis tongues.

I'm imagine something like a horse shaped and proportioned snake cock.
So hemipenes. Which is to say two dicks.

Oh Yes, Think of the children!!!!!!!!!!!!

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......think of the children.

Now imagine being taken by such a steed, and at the moment of its climax, tearing out it's throat with your teeth, lubricating your already supple form with it's life blood and ichor. Drinking deep the elixir of it's last breath knowing the last image it takes to the beyond is vision of your perfect ecstasy grimaced in rapturic climax. Letting the art of that perfect moment imprint on the psyche of the doomed soul of that creature. Knowing that the memory I carved in flesh unwilling will be devoured as an exquisite morsel by the greedy full lips of the Hermaphrodite Prince itself.....nnnnnnnggggggggggggg

Somebody get me a bucket.

I don't have a bucket, but here's a box of razorblades.

It's a daemon too, so it will just reform in the warp if I kill it like that, it will remember being killed by me in it's moment of climax, it will start to associate climax with my violence, and vice versa. I love it.

Fuck that.
I'm so sick of my god damn family.
I'd trade my stepfather for a bag of weed.

I'd trade you for a corn chip.
But like, a really good corn chip because you're worth it, it's nothin' personnel, kid, but I really want a cornchip right now, I'm gonna want more after the one but I'll figure something out.

You romantic you! And here I thought I was beyond blushing.
That is a cycle of excess I can enjoy, maybe by pursuing this doomed union, again, and again, and again, one can fuse it's fate to the daemon, become a courtier in the court of the Lord of Excess, who's whole existence, essence and purpose is tied to such a perfect mutual pleasure. Imagine, upon gaining such a transcendent princehood, the bliss you can give the unwilling mortal in sharing the ecstatically painful sensation of this very sacred moment through application of whip, claw and razor. OH how I have such delights to share with this galaxy of ours.

Damn it now I want this, you sir are a poet.
You should be some manner of public speaker.

I just wish I could make some people my bitch. Mostly the ones that really grate on me. I don't really take any pleasure out of it, other than putting somebody in their place.

I want to do something forbidden.
I have no enemies, yet I have nothing.
All I have are friends, but none will spare charity.
Does no one truly enjoy my company?

you must always go forward.
If you are scared of going further, of always striving to do more and better, then you are not really living.
Stagnation is death.

This is now a "Dear Slaanesh" column

Dear White Dwarf magazine. I used to think these stories were a myth..

I think you'd both enjoy it.

Dear Slaaneesh, sometimes I giggle when I make my little brother cry. Is this normal?

Have you ever flirted with someone who was really smart? So smart and sharped tongued it was like a fencing match?

Yes.
Follow your childish, spiteful, sadistic little heart.
Yes, they made me feel stupid, it was humiliating.
I loved it.

Dear Slaneesh

I made a vibrator of wraithbone and kidnapped a bonesinger. How do I make her sing?

My child it is what I do.

And to think I once was a humble adept, scrivening away at archives dusty. Alone, unappreciated, unnoticed by an uncaring bureaucracy. Unknown to myself, a critic, apart from my fellows, censoring the art I myself found so intriguing. Being the only one to notice the small blue flower pushing its way through a crack in the grey sidewalk, on a world of grey structure, inhabited by grey people. The beauty of that moment, the delicacy of that flower, the color, the contrast, enough to remind oneself of a hunger one never knew one had. All it takes is one crack in the grey, like that oft trodden sidewalk, to see what life has to offer. To begin to drink the color of life. This appreciation, the pushing one to see that flower, or feel the joy of seeing that flower, that is the motivation that led me to cast off my robes, to put my faith in a lord of beauty amongst ugliness, a lord of reward amongst despair, a prince of perfection rather than a distant tyrannical corpse. It is my desire to share that gift, to open others eyes that led me to the clergy, to led me to shepherd the lamb so naive to the table of life, and let it choose. Be feast or be glutton. This is why I do what I have chosen to do.

Yours Faithfully,
Reverend Baerbak the Debauched

Dear slaneesh, I once chased a mongol landskeeper off my dominion with a hose. It was well within my rights, as in keeping with the peasantry one must place strict allowances and insure they do their job properly, but the truth is I was hungover for last nights mead and was angered at him having woke me up.

I feel irked by this, but not as irked by it as when I apologized in his native heathen tongue. I felt as though I acted beneath my status, that I did him and I a disservice.

Should I be harsher with the peasants?

>Should I be harsher with the peasants?
How is that even a question?

I feel I am too effeminate in my dealings with other men. I am terrified to do violence, fearing I may take off their heads.

How do I throw my weight around and abuse my underlings?

Stab her with it and set it the highest vibration, stab her slowly and twist it around.
She'll scream, just be sensual, try to make her enjoy it.
Reverend Baerbak I am proud to worship the same god you magnificent silver tongued bastard.
Yes you should be harsher, as long as it was a one time thing they'll remember this act of kindness and think what you did must be so unforgivable that they should never dare do it to you.
Seduce them, make them love you, make them worship you, dominate them in leadership by letting them dominate you in bed.

Ugh, another Khorne poster
Alright sweetie, here is what you do.
Find somebody smaller than you, and bully him ever so slightly. Then start a rumor that you kicked his ass.
They will be so impressed by your "warrior prowess" that they will line up to kiss your ass.

>Stab her with it and set it the highest vibration
clearly not getting it

Stab her everywhere was implied, I didn't think I needed to specify

no user.
think.
what does wraithbone do when a bonesinger sings?