Confess your Veeky Forums sins

I often slip 1000 year old lolis into my settings.

I made a Reddit account because The Professor from The Tolarian Community College said it was the place for magic discussion.

Don't know if that's a sin or not but I still feel like a Reddit-fag sometimes despite deleting my account.

That is absolutely a sin, you vile degenerate.

Although I'm not really one to point the finger, seeing as I made a Tumblr account for similar reasons.

I guess we're all degenerates in our own way

I'm a forever DM for years now and since I can never play I always railroad the players into the story path that I would want to do. When they choose to leave it, or the path I do not want to do, I'll make up ways how the story will u-turn back into the other path I want to do by adding in an obstacle they need to pass but lack the means to do so, or making a likeable NPC follower/frienemy preferring this path, or by adding in a few magical items down my path and dropping subtle hints to the party via treasure maps/local legends/etc.

I modify rooms/enemies on the spot in my custom campaign. When they are leveling too fast and I want them to not be too high a level for an upcoming boss in a few sessions to have a more "cinematic" fight I'll shave off a few thousand exp they rightfully gained and they never check themselves. In said boss fights they almost always should have died (some still do regardless) but I'll have the boss "miss" a few times more than he should have or lower a DC of a special skill/move they have that they haven't memorized yet and have never caught me lying even though they just used it not even 5 minutes ago with it's old DC.

Then theres the odd time or two when I've played favoritism with players. We all know eachother irl but theres simply too many of us now. Friend recommended a friend who recommended a friend and now seven of us play at a fucking time and it just makes things impossible to do in a timely fashion. So I've tried to get a few mad enough to just leave by killing off their characters with focused attacks, traps, and freak accidents. Almost everyone has lost over 3 characters but those poor souls I've targeted have lost over 5, and most of those characters were over 10 (starting from 1). Didn't work, they stayed and I feel awful for all of them. They all have fun regardless of my cheating and we've put, literal, thousands of hours into that campaign but god damn one round of combat takes over ten minutes of time now

I hide the fact that I'm a min-maxing power gamer by being decent at role-play

You aren't fooling anyone

I will start playing AoS but I will proxy the shit out of my armies.

I just enjoy making Shadowrun Characters but not actually playing the game.

Thats ok my dear. You enjoy playing what you enjoy
Thats an interesting story. Im sure he was a very fun person to play
Thats okay. Im sure they had alot of fun while it was running. Your next game will be even better
If they are having fun buppy its all okey
You are who you are. There is no shame. You will make some strong ladies wonderful husbands some day just like your Abuelo. I miss him everyday

I like the way they paint hearts on their arms
Now beedlaboo, remember you should get on with the other boys, they are your friends
They look nice and young, like your Grandmama

I some times fudge dice rolls.

Thanks Gran Gran

>I just enjoy making Shadowrun Characters but not actually playing the game.
Gran Gran is right. You should share those. I fucking love that game's universe, but the system always confounds me. I especially never seem to know what to spend my money on, even after I get those online lists of necessary shit.

I post "Soon" in various threads in order to prevent others from doing so.

>Its okey to have different friends my little chick chick's

Yeah I guess. I actually got banned from the Magic subreddit and that's how I came here to Veeky Forums to be completely honest, so I wouldn't call them my friends...

Then again none of them called me a faggot or retarded so I guess they kinda were.

But hey I like it here and it doesn't feel like any posts are forced for le Reddit upvotes and le Reddit gold (which I actually got once) so conversations aren't boiled down to who can type the longest paragraph.

Honestly if I knew that reddit wasn't infested with fedora wielding circle jerking cucks anymore I would totally create a new account. Sadly, it will retain its toxic community, so here I stay.

T-thanks grandma. I'll try to visit more often, promise.

Gran Gran I know you TPK your own party before don't try and act innocent

this is too wholesome for me

>I want to be the girl
>I'm too self conscious to play a female pc
>Since I can't do it, I declare a moratorium on cross gender characters when I DM. (Which is easy to do as some of my players are horrific at it).
I still work in maternal female reoccurring NPCs whenever possible...

The secret is to make it easier by playing punky masculine tomboy lesbians.

>I especially never seem to know what to spend my money on, even after I get those online lists of necessary shit.

An invisible zepplin.

Its whats best for the story
: )
You don't sound very happy.
Things will be okay.
Just hold on.

When you visit I will be sure to get your soda pop in.
They play like little bitches they die like little
bitches. You only have to do it once my cute little Mehoe. It makes your games alot better when they think they can lose.

Thats ok. I still love you
I still love you too. No matter what body you have. People like understand you. You are not alone.

I keep telling my friends I'm going to run my pirate campaign soon, just a little more world building and quest hooks.

I haven't done jack shit on this campaign in 4 years

>The secret is to make it easier by playing punky masculine tomboy lesbians.
>(Which is easy to do as some of my players are horrific at it.)

I think you might be in my group?

Or a camouflaged Hellhound.

Do you DM Exalted? Cause that's the only game I'm playing a girl in currently.

And fuck you, it's a great strategy and it works well.

>Things will be okay.
>Just hold on
Thanks grandma.

>being completely subjugated ... is kinda hot .
Good tastes user

Your grannies lied

I unironically like 3.5, 4, and 5e.
I use vidya as my main source of inspiration for anything Veeky Forums related, especially perpetually unfinished homebrew.

I didn't know HOW to gm when I picked it up, so I was really bad. But by the time I learned nobody really wanted to play.

I've made more flirtatious characters recently, hoping to play up romance in one of our games for once. I feel sorta dirty about it though, and I'll probably stop for good soon since the rest of the group doesn't like that stuff.

I adore shadowrun's lore and story sandbox, but i couldnt figure out how to properly integrate the rule system.

So I improvised: I've focused my crew on doing more rp-heavy stuff and when combat needs to happen I rarely actually have stat blocks. Like any good scumbag improviser GM I arbitrarily decide when an enemy dies or not.

If I'm being honest, the players adore it. I think they were even more intimidated by the system then I was, and outside of one who likes to watch shadowrun stuff in her spare time none of them even knew what the system was. I then picked up and old hand at the system from a lfg posting and with his experience we've been having a lot of fun.

anyways, that's my ten cents.

I brought Modern Burn and retired Twin and Amulet Bloom decks to my turbo-casual MtG playgroup night. They were just so smug about having "unbeatable" decks that I couldn't help myself.

>i couldnt figure out how to properly integrate the rule system
>So I improvised

So you did figure out how to properly integrate the rule system.

I bought Curse of Strahd before I had any of the rulebooks for 5e. Or any experience with 5e. In fact, I had only played a couple of obscure third party systems before, and had never touched dnd before deciding to dm a Ravenloft campaign.

I also have a thrill of absolutely killing casual decks piloted by players who claim their decks are "unbeatable."

I should feel bad, but they're just so arrogant

That's fine, as long as you only do it once.

I once GM a monster girl magical realm for a friend who was also into monster girls...

I held a grudge against my dm for killing my character out of nowhere because he was exploring a ghost town that our main quest resolve around.

Is that Noam Chomsky

my first ever online dnd skype/roll20 group was 8 hours of the other players spamming pony porn in the skype chat and yelling at me for not knowing how the grid worked.

there consisted a 30 minute "catch the pig" carnival game that was so frustrating I just up n' left, apologized to the dm via email and never tried it again.

8 hours>!

user, your only sin was staying far too long. Go forth, and be forgiven.

I do this too.

Did he "kill your character" or did your character incautiously fight a monster or walk into (a) trap(s), resulting in hit point damage that caused its death under your watch?

Because the latter is a very very different thing from the former, and the way you express yourself makes it seem like you don't understand that.

I roll multiple times to get good stats

You monster

There a different between exploring and engaging in combat. I was there to gather Intel of the place. There was no reason for a fight and there was non. It was just after sometime there you die.

I get a sickening amount of Schadenfreude from Veeky Forums. /mtg/ especially.

I keep things from my GM because it totally cheapens the whole feeling of success when I know it only worked because he let me.

I compulsively optimize characters, to the point where I take things I hate aesthetically, and can't bring myself to play anything that's mechanically subpar, even if it fits perfectly with the concept I have in mind.

I got into tabletop because of Overlord, a light novel series about a futuristic MMORPG player who ends up becoming his character in the game, a powerful, skeletal lich, in a completely different fantasy world. In his game, which draws a lot from 3.5e, there is a huge variety of player races to choose from, and all kinds of monstrous creatures.

All I've ever really wanted to play was a lich like the main character, but liches are too strong to be PCs, and skeletons have to be homebrewed and DM-approved. No one will let me do it.

>the correct way to integrate Shadowrun's rules are to ignore them completely
sounds about right.

So spooky you get a heart attack.

When any group asks me to run D&D, I always refuse to GM it and try to convince players to choose another system. Same with GMing a heroic high-fantasy in general.

I always try to shove some gonzo stuff into campaign. Same with the rare moments when I can actually play games instead of GMing them.

As of lately, I try to avoid combat with use of miniatures/tokens and play it verbally with a series of rolls instead. I only apply battle mat for challenging encounters, though they became quite rare and players somehow don't really complain about it.

My one-time prep-list nowadays consists only of one page with bullet-points about environment and possible challenges. I improvise most of the session with help of some tools and sometimes do invisible asspulls, just because I fell like it. And with all this setup a lot of players somehow tell me, that my sessions are one of the most immersive and memorable experiences they ever had. And for some reason I start to feel like a hack fraud because of it.

Get a wizard (or sorcerer if you prefer) to level 11 or higher, and earn yourself an extra 4800+xp and make sure you have about 120,000gp in liquid assets, make sure you get the craft wondrous Item feat along the way an make a phylactery. Bam you're a Lich. you'll be frozen for four levels while you pay off your level adjustment debt and you will be set to evil so, it may not be compatible with all parties but you can do it.

I'll give it all I've got.

I only play magic-users but also regularly gimp myself with sub-optimal builds

I mean it sweatheart. Take some time for yourself.
Put yourself out there again. I know you will find your new best friends.
You are such a lady killer. If you want romance pick someone, they will be lucky to have such a handsome young man as you.
Good boys caring about your friends.

Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs

IF you dont have anything nice to say Enkel you shouldnt say anything at all

Its okay to be you.

Looks like you gave some good advice and got a friend.

You have crossed over into being a very good gm. Keep going and you will be one of the best.

Thats so nice of you biloba to not over shadow your friends and give yourself a challenge at the same time.
When Ad&d first came out, the first thing papi ever played was a wizard.

Thanks, grandma.

I've tried to play a kitsune.
On more than one occasion, with completely differently groups of prople.
For various reasons it never happens. I just want to play a traditional fox spirit once.

They tend to be fet-ish level. Can you really say that isnt the reason your doing it.

I haven't actually played a game in over 15 years and just come here to share stories and hang out. I don't even really remember how to play

I know, right. Straight fucking casual. Shit was probably all vanilla Butterslut and Rambo Dosh, too.

Really only DMed 2 games, but they tend to feature lot of female antagonists, many of whom are fetish fuel, and many of those are underage.
Most of these are subtle enough its not obvious, and arent involved in every adventure, but the main antagonists for the final arc were a rather OP custom race of demonic warrior women (the males were all slaves)

>I'll have the boss "miss" a few times more than he should have
That's actually really nice of you. Players don't want to get killed by luck and even if the threat is false, watching their faces of absolute relief feels good. You are prioritizing that your players have a good time rather than your story goes as you want.

I accidentally dropped one of my friend's books in the toilet and it was destroyed. I still feel bad about it.

Y'know what I don't understand?
Fluttershy is straight-up supposed to be supermodel tier, in canon; there's an episode where she goes on the catwalk and Rarity gets jealous. But she always gets drawn with tits that are bigger than her head and the widest hips ever. why must people have shit taste

I dont seem to be able to learn my lessons when it comes to making encounters with just a ton of generic mooks.

I always imagine it as a fun thing where the players have to use strategy or be overwhelmed but it instead just takes forever and drags down the game.

I cheated the dice a couple times, have cheated by not correcting the DM on things I remember but he didn't for my personal benefit, and by correcting him with falsehoods
I hope to not do it again
I also like d20 systems

I am unironically going to make my next character an anime catgirl for partial magical realm reasons when the game is not anime and the anime inspiration is at a minimum. I feel like a piece of shit for doing it because beast races do not currently exist in the setting so I am asking my GM to do more work and alter his setting for no other reason than I want to make my waifu and he is open to doing it.

I hate degenerate furries but I really like mutant animals ala Teenage Muntant Ninja Turles & Other Strangeness, The Mutant Epoch, Gamma World. T..they aren't the same. R..right!?

no and don't let furfags ruin that for you.

That's okay. There is a distinct difference between being furry and enjoying those games.

I'm not going to defend your "anime catgirl for partial magical realm reasons" but a lot of people running custom settings actually want their players input, even if it's just "Hey, why don't we add this race so I can masturbate to it later?".

I end up improving every sessions despite telling everyone that I put a lot of effort into world building and story crafting. I do this because I hate ever seeming railroady.

My players seem to fucking love it so far.

While it's not the best idea to force a swarm of disposable enemies at party, you could say directly to them, that they should be more clever with their tactics and use their environment.

If your party just loves to rush without much planning, you should give them some hints about possible drawbacks of straightforward action. It doesn't have to be a direct warning. You can do it in a more subtle way, i.e. a visual clue in environment or remark from NPC.

It's just a matter of communication with players, there's nothing railroady in that.

I'm pretty sure my DM does this, even though he says he's got everything "in his head" when asked why he doesn't ever look at any notes.
Not that I would mind it, he seems to manage himself pretty well and everyone is having fun.

Nah they usually manage to be strategic just fine. Its at that point where it comes down to them having gained thier strategic advantage, it just become a slog of them taking down mooks.

I guess I could add things so there's more going on but its just a trap I tend to fall into.

The problem with making up shit on the fly is continuity between sessions (and we play every week). At least for me if you meet Joe Farmer the NPC I'll never rember who the fuck Joe is unless I write it down. I always work off an outline with lists of names, places, etc and make notes as I go if I am improvising. Otherwise all those memories, like tears in the rain.....

>run a highly entertaining, largely successful campaign that spanned 3 years
>the group worships me as the GM king, can make up everything on the fly and weave tales of intrigue and depth the likes they have never seen
>told I should publish things
>It goes to my head a bit
>sure guys, I'll run a new campaign, no big deal. Get your 3d glasses ready

>I'm starting the game and have no fucking idea what to do with them or how to make it all work like I did the last time

I have literally had 2 "character test" games so far that were just combat and inconsequential role play segments. I have not put any real thought into this at all and hyped it up.

Same fucking boat here, mate. I keep bullshiting to put it off and ransack my brain for inspiration but it's not working.

I can never fucking live up to the first campaign.

The other players who GM in my group all seem to look up to me as a near- perfect GM, and ask me for advice a lot.
I have none to offer beyond vague answers because I mostly run off bullshit and ass-pulls

One of my current characters has a pretty solid chance of becoming a loli through wild magic. My DM noted they would probably be choosing what surges happen just for effect, and they said the age changing was definitely included.

I'm scared and excited.

I sometimes type out long-winded posts arguing about whatever in bait threads, only to close them without posting and then leave.
I punt in Magic at least half of my games. The failure is more discouraging than enlightening.

>I sometimes type out long-winded posts arguing about whatever in bait threads, only to close them without posting and then leave.
Same, although I think that's a virtue rather than a sin.

Don't let yourself have regrets, user

God damn yes, I did this once in the heyday of Jund, way before Death-Rite Shaman. Back when Thrinax was still good, and Bloodbraid Elf was unbanned.

Let me regale you with me tale.

> getting to know the new bf of gf's friend inb4 hurr durr noone cares
> "He plays Magic just like you, maybe you can play together."
> probably not but whatever we will give it a shot
> we meet, he is huge, 6'6'' and north of 250lbs, neckbeard, metalhead, the whole nines
> girls walk off to drink coffee whatever
> "so wanna play magic? But I have to warn you, I only brought my best deck, and I'm pretty good at this."
> be genuinely surprised he is a tournament level player, this is gonna be great.
> hm, do I play my janky scapeshit omen deck? Nah lets stick to Jund, he wants a challenge
> bust out Jund, draw badly, first drop is thrinax on 3, followed by BBE into blightning.
> he apparently plays some sick mono black brew i can't quite place.
> Turn 4 Augur of Skulls
> slowly getting confused
> I just smash and pass
> His upkeep He saccs Augur to have me discard
> ok, whatever, still got 3 cards
> he regenerates his augur.
> wat
> he REGENERATES his SACRIFICED Augur of Skulls
> watface
> he motions me to discard another two cards as he sacrifices the Augur again, and regenerates it yet again.
> pays another two Mana: "You can just discard your entire hand."
> I look him in the face. No indication he is joking.
> Isthiswhatautismfeelslike.jpg
> In a single moment I contemplate everything I know and decide to just play along
> discard my hand.
> he has no mana for the turn
> he is at nine life, passes
> attack with bbe, thrinax, bolt his face.
> He: "Oh wow, that Lightning Bolt card is strong."
> me: "Yeah man that was a great game, lets go check on the girls ok"

And this is why I don't listen when the gf tells me to meet people, because they like the same things as me.

>forgiving the unforgivable because you're feigning obsequious tolerance to cover for your developing dementia

I'm gonna put you in a home Gran Gran.

I don't wanna magical realm

But I reeeeaaally wanna magical realm.