any and all contributions appreciated
Veeky Forums humor thread
Grayson Bailey
Cooper Ward
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John Diaz
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Leo Reyes
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Jonathan Wilson
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Gabriel Bennett
Jesus user, you really need to get yourself some funnier greentext
Ayden Turner
I started this thread to build a collection but no one's posting ;(
Jayden Smith
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James Hernandez
If I wanted humor I would ask you your 1 dpr max!
Jayden Foster
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Owen Brooks
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Nolan Barnes
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Evan Wright
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William Walker
I'll post a few greentexts that I don't see that often on this board.
Cooper Brooks
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Michael Mitchell
Finale.
Justin Sanders
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Jackson Ross
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Nolan Hernandez
Want to hear a joke.Veeky Forums.
also Fuckyou
Jordan Hernandez
I love you
Jaxon Smith
Absolutely amazing.
Julian Perez
Probably one of my favorite tropes are DMs taking a player's dumb mistakes/ideas and spinning them into session altering autism.
Ethan Rogers
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Bentley Robinson
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Robert Ward
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Sebastian Hernandez
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Jeremiah Harris
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Ayden Smith
>Players don't like thing X even though it took a lot of time and effort
>Players like thing Y even though it took none
Then stop wasting your time, dingus
Austin Williams
>play a Vampire: the Masquerade game.
>There's a Chinese loli Brujah, a fish mouthed Nosferatu, a crippled Malkavian machinist, a Japanese-American Toreador, and a 15th gen caitiff (me)
>we are the most terrible group the Prince could employ.
>Scope out a blood bank in a near future time.
>Some ghouls are escorting a delirious neonate towards it.
>we approach to see WTF is going on
>bitch goes crazy and attacks
>Knife Loli attacks and gets like 5-6 successes. Oh my god the ghoul handler fucking explodes pretty much like some Kung Pow: Enter the Fist bullshit
>Nosferatu PUNCHES HANDLER SO HARD HIS NECK BREAKS.
>well now my team has just killed 2 dudes and put a fresh bitch into torpor in broad moonlight. Cameras caught that shit.
>"well great what the fuck do we do now?"
>Malk hacks the cameras and shuts the lights off.
>we throw the bodies and the neonate in a pile in the trunk of my caitiff's prius. Yes, he drives a hybrid.
>"What the fuck do we use to restrain her?"
>stop by Caitiff's house to use his Hot Topic belt and dog collar leather collection to restrain the neonate.
>decide to park in the hidey spot
>My character regards Knife Loli, "Speaking of self-restraint; we need to have a talk about not killing people." About to have this big touching heart to heart about retaining Humanity.
>Knife Loli: "The Japanese one is that one, over there." Pointing at the toreador.
>....
>Caitiff is stunned to silence peeking over sunglasses while Knife Loli runs around the pipe yard making airplane noises.
Kevin Murphy
>same game
>Caitiff and Knife Loli go looking for a magic pimp. Yes.
>Find Magic Pimp.
>Dude tries to knock Caitiff out with a sap. 5 Stamina + 3 Fortitude. Absurd successes.
>There's a 'BONK' and an "Ow. Quit it." Sneaky guy hiding behind the door is horrified
>Knife Loli ACTIVATED. Celerity level FuckYou.
>oh jesus she's doing it again fuck fuck fuck WHY DID SHE ROLL SO MANY 10S OH MY GOD
>3 guys fucking fall over at -5 in the span of a single round.
>Magic Pimp lunges for Knife Loli next turn with a gold plated knife.
>She has initiative. And decides to dodge. Fucking cherry blossoms and glitter everywhere as she gets like 6-7 successes.
>Magic Pimp's Storyteller rolled result is a botch.
>Magic Pimp misses and hits the edges of a table balls-first. Falls over and curls up like a dead spider, groaning.
>Caitiff: :| .... "Do you drink your crunk from a sippy cup?"
Noah Nelson
>Later on in the game. Make friends with a shota Ventrue and his best friend, a Sewer Tzimisce. Looks like Slender Man as a nudist garbage pail kid. 7'0 tall, head like a pumpkin.
>Climb out of the sewer intending on going to the Nos' ulterior hideout.
>Accompanied by the pair of ghouled pet fleshcrated alligators. Or komodo dragons. Whatever man; they're fucking monstrous lizards. Nos is unaware Sewer Tzimisce is bringing pets.
>The fucking ghouls park inside the basement of the home in suburbia.
>Nosferatu: ".. Why are there dimetrodons in my living room?"
>Caitiff: "We ran out of cash for the meter."
>Ghouled Lizard 1 peers at the caitiff. Then Ghouled Lizard 2 does, as well.
>Caitiff: "Good doggies?"
Daniel Howard
Improved version.
Zachary Cox
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Jack Gonzalez
8/10, had me a giggle.
Luke Walker
Kek
Aiden Smith
kek
Jeremiah Reyes
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Justin Parker
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Nolan Diaz
Except that bags of holding are portals to pocket dimensions. Why would running into the container for the portal affect the dimension on the other side of the portal? Why would the force be transferred?
Brayden Russell
>dihydrogen peroxide
This rustles my jimmies, pentane is a much better rocket propellant.
Jayden King
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Parker James
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Ryder Bell
>the blue chair
How horrible.
Wyatt Price
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Chase Harris
Abandon all hope, all ye who read this text
Luke Rivera
>Abstract nouns do not exist
>Everybody calls them dragons for no raisin
>RAISIN
Elijah Russell
good post lmfao
Easton Nelson
>this entire thread
I missed you so much, Veeky Forums.
Daniel Long
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Joshua Cruz
>Chris Orksen
Not it's ok, I didn't need my sides today.
Jacob Baker
both disturbing and hilarious
Nicholas Watson
Has someone made a Chris Orksen edit yet? I need this.