Would you take a bite, Veeky Forums?

>Tzeentchian Willy Wonka Factory would be the fucking tits, manned by purple flamers and Oopa luumpa Pink horrors making eldritch chocolate
But dare you eat it? And what would be the effect if you did?

That signature taste is butyric acid, also found in normal Human vomit. It's added as a flavoring agent by most US chocolate companies because Americans fell in love with the foul taste of Hershey chocolate that originally used spoilt milk in its recipe.

>this entire post
Am I being rused? This can't be real. I refuse to believe that an entire country can be so... so fucking deviant as to intentionally spoil the taste of their chocolate.

>not Malk

Probably too expensive.

What the fuck ?

>ok it's bullshit
>look it up
>tfw it's legit

Yes. Milton Hershey invented they Hershey Process in the early 20th century that allowed the Hershey Company to use non-fresh milk in large quantities and store it longer. The first mass-produced chocolate bar in the US, the Hershey Bar (with an amazing 11% of cocoa), proved incredibly popular - not because it tasted good, but because it was much cheaper than its competitors - and the populace learned to associate the taste of vomit with chocolate. Like any strong flavor, if you eat it in childhood, you're likely to tolerate it as an adult.

Milk chocolate made from real fresh milk, not flavored with milk powder or butyric acid, has a completely different taste. I recommed trying some Euro chocolates if you've never had anything but American. Be wary of the UK, Ireland and Denmark, that IIRC have a special permission from the EU to include vegetable fats other than cocoa butter in ther chocolate, as this also ruins the taste of good chocolate. You really can't go wrong with Swiss milk chocolate, just try something plain first without any other flavorings.

chemistryworld.com/podcasts/butyric-acid/1017662.article

I'm a third-worlder, and, yeah, I know the taste of both good chocalte and bad chocolate, it just fucking baffles me that USA of all countries would be doing shit like this.

It's weird because it doesn't baffle me at all, I can't say I didn't expect shit like that from americans (or brits).

It's amazing how so many weird and twisted things like this often have historical roots.

It was the depression. It put everyone into this scarcity mindset where if you didn't skip two meals a day and only eat long term storage foods, God himself would strike your children down with starvation and rape for your vanity.

It really shouldn't, America may have high GDP, but Americans themselves are the victims of a system that constantly tries to reduce costs while telling them it's the greatest thing ever. We're sold nothing but shit, and don't know any better.

Obviously it would be one thing nobody expects to happen.
Nothing, it's just normal chocolate. Nobody would expect it to be normal chocolate

Same reason people drink cola despite it tasting like ass, they're just used to it (and in many cases addicted to it).

t. lardass americlap who no longer drinks soda because it tastes like shit not because of silly things like "health"

Mass production is great for the poor but it will fuck your shit up in the long term.

Well, it doesn't really matter because only poor blacks from the inner city eat Hersheys. There are dozens of different boutique chocolate brands for the organic foods set.

>Americans fell in love
Debeatable, they just bought Hershey (because it was everywhere and cheap), other companies followed.
European, or european-style, chocolate is considered better by most people, but they can't find it cheaply so... they buy the vomity shit.

The vast majority of people I know never even buy just plain chocolate bars anyways nowadays, most people fall into 1 of 3 categories I find.
1- Americlap Spurdo tier fatass, would rather spend the cash they'd spend on chocolate on dollar menu mcdonalds or other more fat things
2- healthy people who don't buy chocolate anyways
3- people who just get their sugar kick from soda or energy drinks, as it's flat-out cheaper than even the garbage tier hershey's bars

>2- healthy people who don't buy chocolate anyways
A square of good, black chocolate with an espresso is p. god-tier tho.

Yeah good point, should have said
>2- healthy people who don't buy milk chocolate anyways

I myself am a fan of this shit right here, despite most people I know thinking it tastes like tree bark. I have no idea if it's actually considered "good' chocolate or not, it's just all that's available around here as far as dark chocolate goes.

Sacrifice it in the name of the god emperor.

Lindt is isn't bad but I generally buy my chocolate in a rather small local confectionery. It's cheaper than supermarket chocolate.

Personally, this is my preferred bar

I really like contrasting flavours, and having something that is sweet, bitter, spicy, and savory at one while also giving you that primal rush is fun

I also like peppers in my chocolate, just as the Ixcacao intended

>it tastes like tree bark
please go more in detail, which trees exactly?
I might or might not start planting!

Chiming in with mine.

Good taste, literally. Also my favourite, although I don't really eat much chocolate anyway.

dont eat that undivided shit Veeky Forums! hya, have some nurgle's truffles....TRUFFLES! from nurgle's mansion kitchen itself. its baked with love (evil grin smile)

Literal master race chocolate coming through

This shit is literally a drug

90% is damn near baker's chocolate. No wonder you thought it was bark. 80% is about the max I will go, and stuff with salt mixed in like is damn fine.

Try some with red pepper flakes for a super weird mix.

I've had chocolate from all over the world.
I hate dark chocolate, love milk chocolate, and if I just want something sweet, I'll grab a Hersey's.
I've even had one of those 5 pounders like in OP. I got it for Christmas when I was... 13 or 14.

Also, why do some people break out in zits when they ear chocolate? That's never happened to me.

Rolled 2 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

well, considering it is heresy, I'm gonna roll for it, below 15 and I'll do it, but I'm adding a +5 for my history with chocolate

>And what would be the effect if you did?
You die.
Like everything and everyone who deal with tzeentch.

How much is too much stuff to mix in? Like, where on that scale would something like be?

>No wonder you thought it was bark.
I think it's great, my friends think it's not.

>american

How can you tell? Do you guys call it milk chocoulate or something retarded like that?

Because Hershey's is an American brand?

I drink espresso black on the regular, but 84% is my maximum. Do you like Spanish roast coffee, by chance?

Get in the van, Shinji

I tend to drink coffee in one of three ways-
>at work- in a pint glass, full ice, 2 little serving cup things of half and half, and generic "Columbian" coffee until full
>At home- Coffee that's more booze than coffee
>Also at home- THE WRETCHED BLACK TAR OF SUFFERING that is "I forgot to turn off my coffee pot two days ago, but don't feel like making a fresh pot, so I'm just going to drink this boiling hell sludge".

So I would probably like what I assume is bitter spanish coffee.

>eVANgelion
Holy shit!

>this thread
I did not want this knowledge. I did not want this sorrow.

>milk chocolate

>Americans LITERALLY enjoy the taste of vomit

LOL that would be great.

Where is there a dime on it

Well, given the proper response to heresy is to cleanse it away, with fire, I'm gonna start by building a fire, then I'll get some Graham crackers, because they are clearly co-conspirators, and then I'll dip into the faction (marshmallow) fluff, before initiating a proper burning purge.
Once I am confident they have been properly tested by the fire, then the remains will be discreetly disposed of... Possibly down the inquisitor's gullet... And when he is done, there will be heresy, no smore.

No.
Once they closed down production in my country and started shipping it in from the US I quickly developed an allergy to it.

That's the sort I have on occasion. Dark Chocolate is quite nice. A square of it will last you longer, and it isn't hard to get used to the more bitter taste.

My god

That's my shit right there

Green&Black's make good chocolate.

Also because it's in lbs.

mein neger

Witness Mouthgasm.

Is there any widely available brand of chocolate in America that isn't shit?

90% is too much; it just tastes like vaguely cocoa powder flavored ash.

Note that special permission doesnt mean universally included, its not at all hard to find good chocolate made in any of those countries.

>hersheys always made me feel kinda sick
>something so stupid as them literally putting vomit in it is why

Define widely available:
>present in every Bumfuck, Nowhere, Walmart?
No, there isn't.
>present in every boutique shop in every civilized city on the coasts?
Yes, there are a ton of them, just go and pick one that suits your preferences.

We'll see who's laughing when the Best Koreans nuke your sorry ass and you sink into the ocean.