That Guy/DM Thread

Cmon thats excellent comedy

This should be used and put to work for the good of the group. Im not sure how, but im sure there is a way.
I would rather have this guy then ops phone guy or little bitch

Fake as hell.
I have never seen a GM that let someone just show up and play without having them be cleared first.
The post is more a herp derp bingo on what can trigger Veeky Forums the hardest than anything else.

If it was in any other game then sure. But the GM was very. This is super serious game, who TPK the party because he said build a bunch of normal 16-21 year olds and we did rather then 21 year old super solider that his buddy turned up with .
It was just a really bad game. I hate this guys games and just dont play in them anymore.

Yes user, anything you haven't personally seen can't be true.

We'll I trust the group I play with so I supposed he couldn't be that bad. Dude used it as social hour to drink beers and smoke weed with everyone. I just didn't want to kill everyone's mood with "Respect my magical realm reeeeeee"

I felt sympathy pains reading that. I would hear Teehee Macaroni in my dreams.

>DM that describes each attack

What dark sorcery is this

>Ok but this is a super hard roll
Well he told you so

Just play a spellcaster, touch the guy's knob and cast some stupid spell upon his dick.

I describe more attacks than I don't, there is the occasional. "You smash his chest with your Warhammer and he scowls pulling back his sword" fill in the blank shit I say.

It's less of a case of "letting" someone show up, and more they just do.

I'm in my late 20's and I run games for a group of guys where half of them are fresh out of highschool. One of these guys did what OP mentioned *twice,* both times with the paraphrased quote of "we were already hanging out and wanted to show him D&D/Edge of the Empire."

Being put on the spot I try to be friendly and open, like a decent human being. One of those invitees was fine, didn't come back. The other became rather obnoxious, and other members of the group helped ensure he didn't come back.

>>Pic related, second uninvited guest called himself a "huge Star Wars fan;" made a cringy "gray jedi" that was an epitome of the stereotype.

Goddamn I hate fucking puerile shit like this, even family guy would handle something like this better. I feel for you. You can tell when someone has 0 comedic writing ability because they just resort to using words a 10 year old would find amusing. POO LMAO

>tfw no one actually wants you to play with them
>catch them saying "thank god he's gone" when you accidentally disconnect or step away for a second
>notice more and more people just insult you directly with no tact
>don't even say anything to be negative toward anyone else.

It's okay user, don't cry. Same.

You might just be a shit player, user.
That you haven't confronted them shows you are a coward, and that you haven't performed any introspection into your own actions shows you are too blind or self-absorbed to see how your actions affect others.
Leave the game and quit the hobby.

Nice pasta :^)

Eastern canada here. Old people say it still. But its NS so people say all kinds of silly shit.

You are aware of the reason, you are unwilling to address it.

Same with you.

So we've got this player. Nice guy, Great player, makes fleshed out, interesting characters and roleplays well.

>Half elf Ranger vigilante trying to pass as full human for social advantages and because his Elven mother was abusive
>Human fighter who's actually an academic, is traveling around learning and cataloging as many different fencing styles as he can for a scholarship
>Elven monk struggling to reconcile the idyllic fantasy Buddhism he was taught with the realities of society and morality, eventually converting to the fighter's religion

Nothing really groundbreaking, but perfectly valid and fun to play off of. Until now. I have no idea what happened, but he went full retard with his newest guy.

>Variant human monk/warlock cross class
>Talks in this terrible fake British (I think?) accent. He'd never done voices before, and thus one is stupid annoying
>Says things wrong on purpose, like "Bag which Holds" instead of "Bag of Holding"
>Insists he has premonitions, even though there's nothing in his build for that
>Grapples all the time in combat, for no reason
>Has this "hilarious" verbal tic where he says DEFEAT in this really loud voice, then repeats it three times. Like, he goes out of his way to work it into a sentence. Every five minutes, "DEFEAT DEFEAT DEFEAT"
>Has this convoluted backstory about how he became a warlock when his brother went insane for unclear reasons and tried to kill him, and then also died, but is a zombie or something. It made no sense because he was explaining it in character in that stupid voice and nobody could understand him
>Insists that instead of Mage Hand he has an invisible sentient robot. There are no robots in this world

He thinks it's the most hilarious character ever, but it's just fucking stupid and annoying, and he just won't give it up. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't know he was capable of playing real characters.

It's a word to describe people who don't know the meaning of common words in their own language.

>That feel when you can't play someone who follows the Living Force in SW anymore because of these faggots.

>>"Yeah Yeah, Whatever okay."
Why even fucking play

How likely is this to be a reference to an existing character?

It's a standard social behavior to read the way people around you are acting and reacting, and to try to adjust yourself in some way so that you fit in with them a bit. Most people do this automatically without really thinking about it. If they notice that the way they are behaving isn't appropriate for the circumstances, they will try to curtail it.

Some people are incapable of doing this, which is usually a sign of very limited social exposure or just poor social skills in general. You run into people like that a lot in tabletop gaming, since the socially awkward often gravitate toward the hobby.

Yeah. Leave.

You should stop playing with them. You'll be happier, they'll be happier.

None of his other characters are.

Well, the dude seems like a shitty player, but...

>Insists he has premonitions, even though there's nothing in his build for that
This is not necessarily bad. Actually, can be quite fun and creative:
> me being an female elf barbarian huntress archer, full uncivilized savage
> i need to find an enemy before he escapes and find his way to the city of men
> he is injuries and bleeding, but its hard to track him in the forest at night
> well, time to role play some weird savage shit
" I close my eyes, and focus my mind on the blood of my prey."
> that makes no sense, i have no magical power whatsoever in my character sheet, but i did it because I thought it was something my superstitious character would do
> i expect DM to either dismiss with a "nothing happened", or lead me to believe i had his scent while in reality i was going to some opposite direction
" When you open your eyes, you see a faded red line that begins where you previously hit your enemy, and continuing into the forest."
> I go for it
> what, it actually worked
> i chase the guy for a good time (but don't remember if I caught him or not)

I had been playing RPG for most of my life when this happened, but it was the first time I ever did anything like this, and it was so much fun that the DM embraced it!!

its just an example why the "you can't do this because it isn't on your character sheet" sort of takes a bit of the magic out of the game

Hm. Well that verbal 'tic' makes it seem like he might be making a reference to some competitive game. Maybe a fighting game. Idk.

Isn't 'describing overly elaborate attacks' an actual mechanic is Exalted?

Not like that it isn't. You describe the action you perform, not the effects the action has. The two are distinct, and that distinction is VERY important.

This.
Describing what you are trying to do is one thing, telling the GM what happens as a result is no.

I Google "Defeat chant" and the like but haven't come up with anything.

Yeap, that's a JJBA reference.
Too late, it's all memes from now onwards.

Wait, what!? Who the fuck-

>Has this convoluted backstory about how he became a warlock when his brother went insane for unclear reasons and tried to kill him, and then also died, but is a zombie or something. It made no sense because he was explaining it in character in that stupid voice and nobody could understand him

This dude didn't make fucking Jonathan did he?

Perfect answer desu

>JJBA

Google says Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. I think I watched that on Toonami a decade and a half ago, but nothing's ringing a bell. What character?

No idea. The character's name is Matthew.

It's a mix of many
>Talks in this terrible fake British (I think?) accent. He'd never done voices before, and thus one is stupid annoying
>Has this convoluted backstory about how he became a warlock when his brother went insane for unclear reasons and tried to kill him, and then also died, but is a zombie or something. It made no sense because he was explaining it in character in that stupid voice and nobody could understand him
Joseph
>Has this "hilarious" verbal tic where he says DEFEAT in this really loud voice, then repeats it three times. Like, he goes out of his way to work it into a sentence. Every five minutes, "DEFEAT DEFEAT DEFEAT"
Dio or Giorno
>Insists he has premonitions, even though there's nothing in his build for that
Jonathan, I'd guess?
>Insists that instead of Mage Hand he has an invisible sentient robot. There are no robots in this world
A Stand

Fuck, mixed up Joseph and Jonathan's names, again.

The dude is still a shit for:
>making Mage Hand a Stand instead of Unseen Servant
>or even making his familiar a Stand, since he is a Warlock
>being a Warlock but having Jonathan's backstory, when it would've made so much sense to be someone who could deal radiant damage

for the love of god please confront him about this, then shit on him. Hell tell the whole group so he can stop being so hammy, idk. If it was one reference it wouldn't be bad, but he crammed in so much shit and again, forced Mage Hand into something retarded where he had better options, so fuck 'im.

Ignore these ignoramuses.

Google "Broken Matt Hardy". I guarentee you that's who he's playing.

Who is "broken" Matt hardy? At least that's what I thought reading this

Holy shit, this is the guy. The character's name is Matthew the Sundered. The voice is EXACTLY that, he even does the same "yeeees" after every sentence. Defeat = Delete, I get it. Fuck. Vanguard One is what he calls his robot.

Okay. I've gone from "annoyed" to "impressed", because he's actually doing a pretty good impression of this guy, but still annoyed because I hate this guy and wrestling is stupid.

People say it in western Canada too. I don't think I've ever heard someone say it unironically though

Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck said it a bunch of times.

The way I see it, you've got four options:
Option 1: leave the group
Option 2: explain to the group that you don't particularly care for the gag and would prefer they not intentionally try to force you into slapstick bullshit """comedy""". This is the best option.
Option 3: Insist on playing the straight man whenever this pops up. Be the one guy that never reacts wildly in one direction or the other until they either give up on trying to rope you in or take it too far. This allows you to branch off into the other three options at your leisure.
Option four: The next time they make you touch his dick, you either rip it off like you're starting a lawn mower or you pick the little bastard up by it and use him to bludgeon shit for as long as you can. This is a pretty That Guy option, but it's also arguably the most fun.

>This is a pretty That Guy option, but it's also arguably the most fun.
disregarding that its a copypasta, this one seems like it would fit with group dynamics the best, so it's not really the that guy option.

This pasta gets me everytime

>Same group of players every time
>3/4 are solid
>1/4 play one of two things and never anything else.
>Dumb barbarian
>Smarmy Rogue/Bard
>Somehow he's terrible at both
>Can't do the whole talking bit very well as the "Suave" one
>Always comes off as a fucking drooling retard who ruins everything as the dumb one
>Can't drop him cause we've been friends since HS

Gods i was strong then

>He played you like a fiddle all this time.
OBSOLETE MULE!

Yep, that was the first thing I pictured when I read DEFEAT DEFEAT DEFEAT

>Super serious game
>Guy who is super human trying to pull silly stunts.
>Silly stunts are super serious.
>Letting a player do this ballics and not expect repercussions.

Who ever had that silly character trying to do the silly jump thing is a silly dumbass.

If you try to do silly things in a serious campaign like make a impossible spin jump then your a retard for not seeing a serious consequences for your stupid actions.

spotted the actual jojofags who see their memes everywhere

#staywoke

Fuck it, I'll tell the story of the time I was That DM.

>Have a pet peeve
>Have a lot of them, but this pet peeve in specific
>Hate the experimenter.
>The player that does whatever lolsorandom quirky idea pops into his head just to see how far he can push the limits the game session
>Rarely comes up
>Except we get a new player at the table.
>Completely new to D&D in general
>He's a fast learner, he's catching on
>After they kill a group of goblins, they loot the goblin's corpses.
>Wanted to spice it up, tell them that one of the goblins was carrying a yo-yo
>Suddenly, new guy gets this spark in his eyes
>Takes the two goblin shields, a hammer, some pitons that came in his pack, and some rope
>He fucking creates a "Combat """"yo-yo"""""
>This unwieldy mass of shit
>He's smiling ear to ear
>DM Pride won't let me just destroy it, but I don't like the idiotic direction this is going in
>Make this weapon almost completely unviable. Does like 1d6 damage, always disadvantaged, heavy, etc
>He doesn't care, he insists on using it
>Keep trying to get it tangled into things
>Keep trying to get it smashed into people and stuck when it works
>Doing everything in my power to get him to drop this piece of trash and move on
>Rest of group senses my irritation
>They fucking do EVERYTHING in their power to keep the "yo-yo" working as much as possible
>They pour copious amount of resources into the pitons to make it do more damage
>They tell him to make a strength check to fling the bodies
>At one point, the ENTIRE table spends their inspiration just convincing me to let him reroll an attack just to get the damn thing to hit once
>All of them give me shit eating grins
>I'm getting madder and madder
And then the game ended.

...is that you, projared?

didn't cross with nincompoops like you i guess.

>While your right in this situation not having to roll to do everything is much better.
It can be, it depends entirely on the intended game.

>>Fail
>>face first into the mud.
>>The party stop the van and I walk slowly over.
>Killed the moment really.
See, I think that's an awesome scene.
One of my favorite moments from Angel, and the one that sold me on the show, was where he is chasing some goons that kidnapped a girl and sped off in a car.
He runs up, flips over the back of an awesome black convertible, lands in the driver's seat in one fluid motion, goes to to start the car, and looks to the right to see *his* black convertible as the bad guys get away.

If the point of the game was to be awesome badass actionhero figures, then that was a bad call and the GM should definitely have rule-of-cool'ed it.
But if it was something more grounded or humorous, then he played it right.

Remember that there is a difference between "ruining the moment" and "ruining what you thought the moment should be".

>have many pet peeves including but not limited to people doing anything but what it says in the book

I know it's a meme but there is a chance you are on the spectrum.

I'm a burger but I know what it means

>Wrestling is stupid

But that's what makes it good

Then you either play only exclusively online, or you play with some strangely trustworthy people.

>Break away from Adventurer's League DMing
>Text all of the best players I had to come together for a more fun session
>Think this is going to go great
>Except one player brings his girlfriend
>Not happy, but how bad could it be?
>Is incredibly lovey dubby with her
>The two can't go 2 minutes without declaring their love for each other, kissing loudly, or otherwise distracting each other
>She barely plays at all, and he winds up barely playing because he's too busy playing grab ass
>After the session is over, pull him aside
>Hey man, blahblahblah, polite way of telling him to not bring in people without warning and maybe get the girl to fuck off
>"Oh yeah, sure sure user. I should have realized, that was 100% my fault"
>He never shows up or responds to texts ever again.

Situation basically fixed itself, but it was shocking how unaware people can be about bringing along extras without warning.

>Pretending to be an elf at a table is way less dumb than pretending to fight in real life

Some people have no perspective.

Didn't have a "that guy" or "that GM." But I did have a group that wouldn't get off their laptops or coordinate for shit when it came to scheduling games or notifying me when one, or wasn't, happening.

I don't play with them anymore. I blamed the game so that they wouldn't feel bad, but that shit was inexcusable.

millennial please go

>>Except one player brings his girlfriend

This fucks up more than just RPGs. This literally fucks up everything!

>>face first into the mud.
>>The party stop the van and I walk slowly over.
>Killed the moment really.

You're a coward, in addition to what is assuredly a laundry list of other character flaws.

There's a very clear distinction between 'doing stuff outside the books' and 'actively pushing the limits to see what you can go away with'

you got J'Baited

I read the pasta but then I clicked the pdf.

What the ever loving fuck did I just read?

Can somebody explain to me because what? nothing else just lots of what?

This was never funny and it's not funny now.
Please stop posting. Lurk moar until you get it.

Try DELETE instead.

Oh fuck he wasn't even subtle. Was his brother's name Jeff?

>We decide to play a steampunk sky in the world campaign
>We have an alchemist an engineer and an assassin
>This guy decides he wants to play a Anthropomorphic Gunsmith Rabbit thief with abusive human parents
>GM wants to fuck him so he says yes
>He never does any thieving
>Activly chastises anyone who does anything even at all morally ambiguous
>Gets really pissy whenever the engineer leaves because he is really unlucky
>I hate this fucking guy and i think the gm is about to get rid of him thank god

Whenever the engineer leaves the ship is what i meant to say

Yo, what the fuck.

Except tastefully used toilet humor can actually be good.
Encountering a shit golem can be funny as fuck, if you do it right.

>Anthropomorphic Gunsmith Rabbit thief with abusive human parents

I'd rather encounter monty pyhon reference golem who figts in power duo with jojo reference golem

I mean, that could be fun too.

These threads make me uncomfortable.

I used to be a few of these

A BOOOAAARRRRR NED! SEVEN HELLS FETCH ME THE WINE!

Tfw if Bobby B got his shit together the war of the seven kingdoms would have been over in half a season

Become conscious of your mistakes and actively work on them

Mah nigguh.

Someone that doesn't know how to look up the meaning of words that have fallen out of common usage