Warhammer 40k general /40kg/

+++BATTLE REPORT INCOMING+++

My weekly game was against Chaos this time; a melee-heavy list with a lot of berserkers and some superheavy support. Last week at an user’s request I field tested my Marauder Destroyer, and this week at a similar request I ran a heavy armor themed list with a Shadowsword and some Leman Russ support.

I arrived at the FLGS at 3:30, but traffic was light and I couldn’t get an opponent until 8:30. With only 2.5 hours of time to set up and play, we only managed to get through 2 turns, so this will be a short report.

oh cool 50 images of desperate attention-whoring later we see a couple of things that are a massive anticlimax

+++ARMIES+++

The Iron Horses send in an armor-heavy battalion detachment with an additional troops patrol and superheavy auxiliary. The tank commander is the warlord, leading from the cupola of his LRBT. He has 3 LR punishers in support, plus 3 mechanicus enginseers to repair them in the field. 9 infantry squads led by 3 company commanders protect the vehicles as they advance, and a superheavy Shadowsword-pattern Baneblade lumbers along behind them. The massive tank is trailed by two support vehicles: a Trojan and a Salamander Command Vehicle (SCV) to increase the effectiveness and accuracy of its weapon systems.

The worshippers of Khorne are mostly comprised of 4 full squads of berserkers, all mounted in rhinos to get into assault as quickly as possible. A big group of 40 cultists provides cannon fodder, and a chaotic helbrute brings some anti-armor punch. A massive Renegade Macharius Vulcan lumbers behind the infantry with its twin gatling cannons, and a squad of terminators stands ready to warp right into the thick of the fighting. The entire warband is led by Kharn himself, who jumps into a rhino with a unit of berserkers.

I don't know, lets find out!
Now featuring more palatable image sizes.

Worry not, user! It's only 7 images.

It's both. He really is the bringer of despair.

+++MISSION+++

The mission was Deadlock, though we both are fairly new still and completely forgot to double the cost of strategies as the rules require. We only got through 2 turns, though, so it hardly mattered. It was also both our first times using tactical objectives, which I have decided I am not too fond of.

I tried to appease Veeky Forums by placing some big terrain pieces in the center, which is frequent criticism my reports get, but upon rolling for the mission and getting to choose the deployment, I chose to fight the battle across the length of the table instead of the width, kind of turning things on its head. This placed 4 of the 6 objectives in easier reach of me, though it ended up not mattering at all.

>never had a job
>has never had sex that we know of
>born before education systems were established
>hid from the rest of humanity for tens of thousands of years
>spends thousands of years sitting at home in his chair
Is the emperor the ultimate NEET?

New Deathwatch codex when? Primaris flyer when?

I want Primaris Deathwatch (pic-related, not my model), and the Repulsor is too slow.

+++DEPLOYMENT+++

Chaos easily finished deploying first, and would get first turn. I pretty much just plopped infantry squads down until I saw where the Macharius was going, then dropped the Shadowsword where it would get LOS on the massive enemy armor threat.

My plan was, similar to my game against Tyranids two weeks ago, to push into the center with infantry, eating the casualties from assaults and forcing the other guy to lose turns of moving and shooting with most of his army. Turns out that doesn’t work against berserkers too well.

IG did not seize the initiative, and spent no command points to reroll – I wanted to save them for rerolling the Shadowsword.

>>has never had sex that we know of
>what are the sensei
Fuck off lorelet

Where's the rest of this image?

Is that dude's rhino made outta fucking paper?

I'm thinking of making a gorkanaut and sticking 6 warbosses in it. Fun? viable?

more worried about the first than the second. Would a monolith be too big to make into a floating morkanaut?

I think he's pretty neato looking, but I'm unenthused at the idea of him becoming ever present alongside magnus and a double battlecannon renegade knight in competetive scenes.

Maybe chapter approved will save the day. Maybe event organizers will learn.

+++TURN 1+++

Chaos gunned their rhino engines and advanced to within a foot of my lines. The cultists plodded forward towards the temple in the table’s center, and the Macharius remained stationary to light up its Shadowsword opponent. The terminators warped in to the temple, as well, bashing out some priceless stained glass windows etched with pictures of Imperial saints and using them as braces for autocannons.

Shooting from Chaos was light, with some crew served weapons dropping a few guardsmen from their ruins cover. The terminators shot into a squad caught in the open, dropping 4, and combiplasmas scorched a couple of wounds off the Shadowsword’s front armor. The Macharius also sent its volley downfield, stripping a total of 6 wounds off the armored beast. Chaos assaults failed to reach their targets, and overwatch failed to kill anything.

IG is up. The infantry advances on the temple and the terminators within, tanks driving up with them. Only the Shadowsword and its support vehicles remain stationary, as its target is already painted. The volcano cannon opens fire, hitting 5 times, scoring 4 wounds, and dealing 31 damage to the opposing superheavy, deleting it from existence in one round. Ouch. Literally every other thing in the army shoots into the Chaos terminators to the tune of 70 lasrifles with FRFSRF, 7 plasmaguns, 3 punishers, an LRBT, plus support vehicles. They kill 2. Wew.

I charge in with 3 infantry squads, though only one makes it in and loses 4 men to overwatch for their trouble. Only the sergeant and plasma gunner make it into melee, and despite their zeal are easily ripped apart. The northern infantry charge and try to envelop the nearest rhino, hoping to entrap the occupants inside their vehicle and prevent escape. They bring the transport down to 3 wounds, but fail to completely get around its flanks.

>tfw the date for the collector's edition of the AdMech codex was in fact a misprint.
I knew it probably was but people kept making me hopeful it wasn't.

>ywn have an Eldar GF
Literally why live?

>it's sad that nobody's as poor as me

Wanna know what has a retarded price tag? Rolex. Invicta 9937 literally has indistinguishable automatic Swiss movement with the same 8 ticks per second as Rolex, and the same styling and the same metal, and it only costs $200 more than their $100 basic Japanese movement model.

So what does Rolex's extra $9,700 get you? In-house assembly, inspection, resale value, in-house materials, and 100 extra meters of depth rating CERTIFICATION.

You don't pay $9,700 extra for looks, because the Invicta looks 99% similar to a Submariner. You don't pay $9,700 extra for the diving ability, because ratings are paid for and tested, but actual depth viability for that additional 100m down to 300m is actually always there. G-Shock does the same thing, they pay extra for their expensive Frogmans to say rated for X depth, and the cheaper G-Shocks only say rated for X-100m, when all G-Shocks have equal depth resistance. You don't even pay $9,700 for the beautiful craftsmanship and smooth movement, because THE INVICTA ALSO HAS SWISS MOVEMENT.

Next time you wonder why people pay GW prices, think about Rolex, or any $250,000+ supercar that can be beaten by a $100,000 GT-R. Buying a $100 toy is not expensive nor prohibitive to the average human being.

so's the super heavy

Posted it over there, may as well post it here, I have a chinaman order going in shortly, so I'm looking to finalize this list:

++ Battalion Detachment +3CP (Adepta Sororitas) ++
>Celestine: 2x Geminae Superia [250]
>Canoness: Condemnor Boltgun, Power sword [50]
>Battle Sister Squad (9): 2x Flamer, Combi-flamer, Power maul [114]
>Battle Sister Squad (9): 2x Flamer, Combi-flamer, Power maul [114]
>Battle Sister Squad (5): Heavy Bolter, 2x Storm Bolter, Chainsword [59]
>Seraphim Squad (10): 2x Twin inferno pistols, Plasma pistol, Power sword [169]
>Dominion Squad (7): 4x Meltagun, Combi-melta [157]
>Dominion Squad (7): 4x Meltagun, Combi-melta [157]
>Repressor: Heavy Flamer, 2x Storm Bolter [92]
>Repressor: Heavy Flamer, 2x Storm Bolter [92]
>Rhino: 2x Storm Bolter [77]
>Rhino: 2x Storm Bolter [77]

++ Vanguard Detachment +1CP (Imperium) ++
>Inquisitor Greyfax [85]
>Vindicare Assassin [90]
>Vigilators (5): 5x Executioner Greatblade [95]
>Vigilators (5): 5x Executioner Greatblade [95]
>Null-Maiden Rhino: Storm Bolter [72]
>Vulture Gunship: Twin Punisher Gatling Cannon, Heavy Bolter [160]

++ Super-Heavy Detachment (Questor Imperialis) ++
>Cerastus Knight Acheron: Acheron Flame Cannon, Twin Heavy Bolter, Reaper Chainfist [495]

++ Total: [142 PL, 2500 PTS] ++

Greyfax and Canoness each get in a Rhino with a flamer squad, Dominions use the Repressors as mobile bunkers, and everything except the Vindicare and the minimum squad of Bolter Bitches runs up the board and starts burning things.

Thoughts/advice?

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Sneaking a peek inside.

Okay okay we get it dude, You're dick is really small, no need to try and compensate anymore

>wanting to fuck a xeno when you could have a perfectly good toaster instead
Shit taste confirmed.

its a bit big around for a Naut height too. would recommend just getting one, its a fun model

...

Are you making a live action movie?

+++TURN 2+++

40 berserkers plus Kharn jump out of their vehicles and 30 of them make it into combat. Shooting is light, with a few autocannon shots pinging onto a Punisher and some infantry getting gunned down by combibolters. The marines don’t want to inflict too many casualties and risk losing their charge.

The assault goes well, and this is when I learn about how berserkers get to charge, kill, then consolidate and kill again in the same round. I lose 4 infantry squads in one turn, dropping me down to 4 surviving and almost 40 guardsmen are torn to pieces. The helbrute also charges into the russ line, half-killing a Punisher.

The IG responds by falling back and trying to make a firing line. Almost everything the berserkers touched is dead, so there is no need for Get Back in the Fight! Orders. FRFSRF orders are issued instead, and the tank commander instructs the punisher to his right to fire on the exposes chaos infantry before they can launch another devastating assault.

Laser rifles and heavy bolters bark out, eventually felling all but 2 of one squad of berserkers and 5 of another. The northernmost rhino, already crippled, is destroyed by massed las and plasmagun fire, and the Shadowsword pivots to bring its volcano cannon to bear on the helbrute. It hits 4 times, wounds 3 times, and delivers 16 wounds to the walker, vaporizing it.

At this point the store is closing and we call it a game. Chaos pulled tactical objectives that all required him to sit on his own backfield, and easily gathered 9 points. I only drew cards for 1 of my own objectives, and got first blood for destroying the Macharius, leaving it 3-9 Chaos. My opponent was quick to tell me that had we kept playing it would probably have swung more my way, but I just said meh, thems the rules and you won fair and square. Personally I think the cards are a bit too random, but I won’t write them off from one bad experience.

Please stop with the awful filters.

>>papercraft macharius vulcan
What kind of rabid, subhuman beast is your opponent?

its not like you want to get too close with anything you can put in a repulsor anyway

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>wanting to fuck a toaster when you could have the toaster peg you
Unplug admech players

it's almost as bad as toy dinosaurs and mr potatohead stompas

I like the extra effort put into the batrep. Carry on, user.

Nah, you don't get it, because everyone knows you're just going to cry about GW prices again tomorrow. Gotta wonder about all these losers who make small dick and you must be younger than 18 jokes, because I've never been stupid enough to feel the need to.

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And let's just pull them all out at once because I gotta get to work on the Razorwing.

your steel legion look real good mate

Sauce on general picture

>what is old as fuck retconned canon
Learn your lore from somewhere other than 1d4chan please

>Macharius Vulcan
For a tank hand made out of cardboard and marker, it looks surprisingly good. The rhino is ugly as shit though.

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>31 damage
>16 damage
Zog me

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Oh no guys looks like we have an internet pseudointellectual here
Shouldn't you be obsessing over identity politics or something?

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I think that's from part 6 of "Jojo's Bizarre Adventure"
Underrated but one of my favorites

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>Wanting a toaster when you could have a perfectly good ever-changing GF instead

...

I agree. I hate seeing special characters in every game, especially primarchs and the like.

You're kind of proving my point. The model isn't worth the price and retards buy it up anyway.

~ f i n ~

Ah! Another disciple of the Great Deceiver! Hail Tzeentch my brother!

Six warbosses in a naut seems viable. They are decent combatants for their points cost. My main concern would be making the naut too tempting a target, but they are fairly tough, especially with a KFF. Would consider swapping out a couple of them to get grotsnik and a nob with a banner though.

Characters seem about the only way to make non-razorback, non-flier transports worth it in this edition.

Should I start the endless journey into 40k? I see my friends diving in head first and they seem to think it will be fun, but I can also see them dropping hundreds and hundreds on little army men and paints and terrain and tables and etc, and spending hours and hours reading books that they also paid like 50 bucks for.

I also havent seen anyone play a game. It's all just painting and painting and unwillingness to accept the current look of a unit because "it can be better".

It seems to be just another grind like MTG or whatever. What is the lasting appeal?

Plz cite your retcon source kthxbye

Lasting appeal(for me) is the hobby aspect of it. I didn't know jack shit about painting/modelling 3 years ago and now I'm one of the better painters of my group and I've been encouraging and helping the other guys to step up their painting/hobbying game.

Emperor no Pico

Blame GW for making there be no almost no reason not to bring special characters.

thanks, they are a labor of love

I am taking suggestions for what kind of theme to build a list off of for my next game. So far i have done:

>conscripts (never again)
>melee wave infantry
>close air support
>heavy armor

Same guy here. What I DO like is that there is no 'rotation'. Once you have your units and paint them they are yours to use whenever, which seems like it should go without saying when dumping massive quantities of money and time into something.

Editions usually just change rules but keep the units I'm told.

I'm like 35% on it, but I mean... everybody's doing it guys. It's the cool thing right?!

proxy rhino is one thing but he actually put smoke launchers on it which means he plans on using it for a while.....that's terrrible

Ignore the banna nob bit, I thought they re-rolled ones. Although I guess it bumps your power klaws back up to 2+.

Heretical Herman's

Congrats, you're actually fucking a bird.

Units are written out of the rules occasionally but you can generally just use the model to represent another unit.

>please do all my work for me and find your sources so I can argue with you for the rest of the thread about what counts as canon
Nothxbye

I picked up the Horus Heresy book Nemesis from the library yesterday.
Admittedly I'm judging a book by its cover, but it really doesn't look promising. Is it better than the cover art?

If you don't want to drop hundreds on plastic miniatures you can always hit up ebay for the used market or chinese recasts. You can't really get around paying for good paints if you want your minis to look good, though.

So I'm guessing we're not getting those big nurgle beasts in that one piece of artwork? Those multi-legged ones?

So my ultimate goal for collecting is to have a table with full terrain with a main and secondary army squaring off. Idea is to build everything for two factions and when I need something for a list I can take them off the board instead of a display case. Besides the point, i have tyranids as my first army. What should be the second army. I want differing playstyles so no IG or orks. Thoughts?

ain't got no tiiiiime for birdsex

There's been no sight of them except that art, but GW seem pretty keen on showing models in the art recently, so I wouldn't be surprised if they are part of the DG release and they just haven't released any pictures of the models. Ditto for the GUOs.

Would a Gorkanaut be a good counter for a Storm Lord?

Okay real talk these are agressively bad dice.

Unclear at a casual glance pipping

Uneven shape and thus weighting

Worthless for gameplay.

That or they're part of a later wave of releases.

You can play endless games with unpainted models if you like; playing a game with a lovingly painted army that you've built from scratch is really fucking cool though.

You don't have to chuck retarded amounts of money into it if you don't want to. Slow and steady wins the race. Try reading online about the factions and the background and see if it grabs you. I find a 'rule of cool' approach to armies makes the game way more fun than stressing out about points-optimization or winning every game.

I painted a figure using Da Vinci fluid acrylics (not model paint acrylics) and it looked nice but the paint comes off sort of easily if not sealed and always feels slightly 'wet' to the touch.

Like everyone else, I recommend just buying the good stuff because once they're painted you'll wish you had.

this cant be real

>Wanting to fuck the god of change when you could literally fuck the god of kinky sex

Ugh what the hell

I think you'll find Slaanesh probably fucks you user, instead of the other way around

I've been playing so long that characters still feel like a no-no to me unless it's a giant game and it fits my army fluff. I don't think I need the banner because warbosses already hit on a 2+

>Tfw they are going to give nids new dice soon

I keep seeing this girl pop up, who the hell is she? Why the fuck do tzeentchfags keep shitting up the general with her?
Also, where can I find more of this heresy?

No.

So I've never won a game against my buddy who plays Dark Angels - they are just too over powered in my opinion. I play Space Wolves and Death Guard, will I be 'that guy' if I get Mortarion and bring him to a few games to actually win. Losing constantly is annoying, even when he tells me tactics to try and shit its just frustrating. He doesnt even try but I cant just beat him but have no problem against some other people.

Fuck Dark Angels.

>never actually looked at this picture enough to see the detail, only ever really glanced past the thumbnail
>always thought it was some sort of weird sex-mermaid
>those are hands