You open the taverns secret door, the inside is a small and bare yellow room...

You open the taverns secret door, the inside is a small and bare yellow room, the only decoration in it is a small bench and on it sits an Oni slowly cleaning an already shining blade. After a second it notices you and says "You get three questions, after that, leave my room."
What do you ask?

"What would be the most profitable question for me to ask you"

"that question"

"also random bonus question, probably I would just ask for his life story."

>"Why do you wear the mask?"

>"Was getting caught part of your plan?"

>"If I take that off, will you die?"

>if I take that off
>take
One job, user

No no, you have to be more possessive with demonkin.

How will you ever know who paid the oni to grab Dr. Pavel, and moreover, what the next step of the oni's master plan is?

He doesn't like questions like that. He's gonna troll you.

"Well, that would be what and where my clan treasure is."
"It's right here, my clan treasure is this blade."
"To save you from boredom, and I from tears, I'll give you the short version. I, along with many people I knew came from the eastern lands, you've heard the legends and myths and all that. We Oni form clans for protection from the wild, each person swearing on the blade they forge to never betray, well, as you might have guessed we were. One of our newest members, Kondoru believed we were weak, and created a magical blade that could trap our souls. After a long, long fight with him I stabbed him in the heart with his own blade and decided to go to a quiet part of the world. So here I am, giving this Inn peace and quiet at night and making sure everything is good."

...

I only need one, honorable oni.

Where can I find He-Who-Devours-All?

"I was born with my mask, many others were simply molded by theirs."
"Oh of course, I was just wondering when you'd get here."
"Well, it would be very painful, atleast for you while pulling as this is quite literally stuck in place."

"A darkness envelopes that name, follow it and your lord will be found."

So you think you know better than FEMA what to do with this month´s Ambrosia shipment?

Where are you taking it?

Do you have a single fact to back that up?

"Lot of bravado for a rookie. Bold strategy, tell me if it pays off for you."

Skrub, yes or no?
How do you set TP: facing inwards or outwards?
Asuka or Rei?

When are you planning to leave this room?

What do you plan to do when you do so?

Could you use a travelling companion?

"Anyone who's pro-skub is a degenerate."
"Outwards"
"Misato"

>How do I make her love me?
>How do I make her parents okay with it?
>Dealer's choice.

"When the world is less violent, though you could argue we could make it less violent using violence."
"Go to my homeland and create a grave for my clan."
"Perhaps, but I don't think I'll be traveling for a long time."

Fuckin' ominous-ass fuckin oni not answering the fucking question...I'm not tipping that bartender...

>How do I make her love me?

People don't work that way. Talk to the woman.

>How do I make her parents okay with it?

Same answer.

>Dealer's choice

A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.

"Wealth"
"They wil understand."
"You never know what's gonna come through that door."

Why are you hiding in here?

What should I do to get ahead in life?

Where can I meet more oni?

>woman
Yeah, about that...

Number one: In 1945, corporations paid 50 percent of federal taxes. Now they pay about 5 percent. Number two: in 1900, 90 percent of Americans were self-employed; now it’s about two percent.

"I hide from the outside for the outside is a chaotic warground, and I've had my fill of battle."
"Be a just, kind man, but know when to backstab and step on others."
"Travel east by boat, if you're ever surrounded by fog, you've entered my home, you'll find Oni aplenty. You leave how you entered however, alone."

I didn't come here to ask questions, I came here to answer the ones you should have.

Kondaru's apprentice is hunting for you.

He has a way to track your sword.

Half a day away.

>That's Terror

"Well damm, if he's this close I'll just die to him then. No need to run from the inevitable."

Pff, three questions? I only need one.
Will you be my friend? Please, god, I'm so alone.

"For as long as I yet live, let us be friends."

How are you?

"Well I'm moslty surprised that this many people are here, but I'm happy that I can answer your questions, although I might not solve your problems. Honestly I'm happy that I can talk to so many people."

Glad to hear it.
What makes a good man?

Socrates has been pestering me, what's the nature of virtue?

"A good man is someone who does not follow evil laws, but slays thr evil men who makes them and creates good laws. A good man understands that he is a part, not the whole and can allow someone else to be praised. A good man can love a woman and leave her, but never lay with someone else. This is what I call goodness, and I live by it."

WHAT is your name?
WHAT is your quest?
WHAT is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Can't believe we got so far into the thread without somebody posting this

>"Misato"
TOP TIER LAD WITH TOP TIER TASTE

Oh esteemed gentleman of culture and learning, answer me these questions three:

>Onee-san or imouto?
>Are girls for protecting your smile, or for having their smiles protected?
>Are traps gay?

"The nature of virtue is virtue itself. Having virtue exists as a concept shows that we have reached an age where simple goodness must be questioned and categorized, something I don't really understand."

"I am Dare mo"
"I answer questions"
"Roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles an hour."
"Onee-san, I enjoy being seen as an elder and children are cute."
"You protect her smile, she protects yours."
"I did the math, it's a definitive yes."

1. Catgirls, doggirls, wolfgirls, foxgirls, or bunnygirls?

2. Catboys, dogboys, wolfboys, foxboys, or bunnyboys?

3. Girls or boys?

>Onee-san [older sister]
>I enjoy being seen as an elder
Wait sec... you're female?

"Bunnygirls"
"Catboys"
The Oni puts a hand to his chin and seems lost in thought for a few moments, apparently thinking it out fully.
"Hrm...boys. While I would lay both, I go for males usually. Preferably a feminine one that does not dress as a female."
"No, Onee-san means older brother in my language. Onee-chan means older sister, with replacing e for i if you are very close."

Or it could be that a quick Google search proves me wrong

I was going to ask your name, but other one asked it already. I'll ask somethig else then.
What do you want?

"I want nothing more than peace to come to the land."

1. At least you can talk. Who are you?

2. Who paid you to grab Dr. Pavel?

3. What's the next step of your master plan?

"I already said, my name isn't that important."
"Whoever did, they have lot of loyalty from just a hired gun."
"Finishing the conversation, with nothing left unanswered."

Then let us fight side by side.
(I'd expect something much different from a devil)

>Can't believe we got so far into the thread without somebody posting this
Yeah, early-morning Veeky Forums is usually pretty retarded. I'm surprised there wasn't more baneposting.

Haha I cast le magic and win

"Is that one question each?"
"Can I leave and come back for more questions?"
"How long do I have to ask these said questions?"

I say nothing, and sit with him in silence for a while. Then, I produce a clay bottle from my pack and ask, " I take it you prefer your sake warm?"

"Where's the bathroom?"

"No"
"Yes actually."
"A day."
"Didn't know people brewed Sake in this land, although I prefer tea to be honest."
"Go back down the hall, first door on the left."

人生の意味とは?

'What is your name?'
'What would you do if I were to tell you that this town is about to become a battleground?'
'What must I do to get you to help me stop this from happening?'

>"Where'd your buddies take the Korean and the Miko?"

>"Why are we still getting reports of raksasha after Tsao's men killed the den your men lead us to?"

>"Why are the mountain Oni still dealing with the kumiho even after they don't have any more slaves to give to the piece of shit?"

あなたが人生で求めているのは、意味です。
"I am 誰も, or Dare mo"
"Accept my fate."
"I do not know. Maybe I will feel a spur of the moment and battle like the devil I once was."
"Most likely to my Island home."
"Raksasha are a ravenous and hardy people, they will plague you long after defeat. Kill females and children first."
"Becuase mountain Oni and kumihos are always angry."

"Want half my sandwich?"

"How about some rice wine?"

"People sure ask stupid questions, no?"

where is the second piece of the nobisura kage

where is the third piece of the nobisura kage

do i suit the "bald badass" look?

>Did holocaust happend?
>Who did 9/11?
>Are traps gay?

read the thread, gaijin

>Asuka or Rei?
He's red. Do you need to ask?

"Yes."
"Dead men."
"The gayest."

There is only one question that matters in this life.

What is the riddle of steel?

What is love?

What is the meaning of Life and the Universe?

What is the airspeed velocity of a Swallow?

How do I get a big tiddy oni gf?

Do you like cheese?
Will the prequel adventure ever update?
Why does water form in my cup of tea's bottom and get's the table wet?

this

1: Is OP a faggot?

2: Can the amount of cock sucked by OP even be calculated by modern science?

3: Pizza or burgers?

"I can't really handle dairy so well."
"Do not look to the past for answers. Forward. Always look forward."
"Because gaijin can't use a fucking coaster."

who are you?

what are you gonna do after this?

before i go, lets have a drink with me yeah? *pulls out a bottle of sake*

I am me.

Take a piss.

Nah, it's Ramadan.

Yes.
No.
Sushi.

1: Slannesh or Tzeentch?
2: Sexy dominatrix Drow or disgustingly inhuman sadistic "spiders in every orofice" Drow?
3: Are reverse traps gay?

Khorne.
Fuck elves.
Absolutely.

Do you like cookies? I made some cookies, do you want some? Do you want milk?

Pls respond

"You'll need a bigger dick than that."