Field Kit Inspection: Intriguing Fumes Edition

Get into formation lads! Quickly as you can!

Men, as you can very well see. We're on a space station. But not just any space station. This space station, before the rift tore the galaxy asunder, used to supply this sector of the imperium with vast quantities of grade-A starship fuel. The kind of fuel that the Exolon Crusade is in dire need of.

As is the case. We have been sent in to reactivate the station, and clear out any miscreants or squatters that may be living inside of it. I don't need to tell you all how important this fuel is. Without it, the crusade will be trapped in open space, here in the dark Imperium, until guilliman himself somehow finds us. And if I hear one more person ask me: "Can we open up one of the containers and get high from the fumes", I'm going to start executing people!

As such, to make sure you are all fully prepared for this. I am calling for a surprise field kit inspection. So, present arms and equipment for a Field Kit Inspection!

>Welcome to ''Field Kit Inspection", home of the 'Unknown Regiment". Feel free to join in! Remember though, we tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, while green-texts are typically used for describing a character's actions. D20s are for combat checks, while d100s are for other things you wish to roll, with higher typically being better.

Other urls found in this thread:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=v7ssUivM-eM
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Y'know I've noticed we never actually inspect our equipment, we just start shooting at each other or getting high. Weird, huh?

I AM HERE, I WILL NOT DESTORY THE BASE THIS TIME

VERY GOOD MAJO- I MEAN LT. COLONEL
MEN, LOOK UPON MATTHIAS AN AN EXAMPLE OF HOW QUICKLY ANY ONE OF YOU CAN ASCEND THE RANKS!

ALLRIGHT THEN, LETS GO!
>Michael would begin wandering off into the hulk with his two bodyguards

>an elite figure, clad in black armour, meant to strike fear in enemies
>he has his modified lasgun, and appears to be Elysian-Valhallan.

Private Barrington present and ready for battle!...although I'am a bit afraid that closed spaces aren't exactly my speciality

Corporal Doomhamer here, ready for duty, sir! I was transferred here from the Elysian Regiment, to assist your """""delinquent""""" regiment.

lets move out

Corporal Doomhammer... It's nice of you to finally drop by for inspection.
seriously. We haven't seen you in over a month. Where you been?

>Matthias would shake his head as the priest walked off into the darkened corridors of the fuel station.
>"That man is going to get alot of good troopers killed..."

Very good, Steve! Because if you do, all of us will be dead.

Personally Viktor. I blame that as much on our own troopers short attention spans, as I do upon the enemy.

>meanwhile, up ahead, Brutus would be rigging a large amount of the containers to explode, unbeknownst to the regiment

Which would be bad, so I won't, what are we doing today sir!

I was... transferred to the Elysians, trapped on some hellhole planet which you may see in your Dataslate app "News", it is... Antaru II.
I have been sent back to you. I am here to make this regiment a bit better, and improve the mess halls.

ooc: playing more on Galactic Federation. Good to be back!

>A voice would appear in Brutus' head
No Brutus. We need the fuel. We will release the hounds on the regiment when we are ready.

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>rolling to see what's down this corridor

*under her breath* Last mission and I'm out of here...

>he whistles
You look kind of lost..

Leave her alone person man,I will break your face

No mon- erm fellow guardsman, I'm not lost

>Brutus would grunt before simply loading some of the fuel tanks up from a distance

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>he sees the figure, takes out his laspistol, and fires
>he looks at the eldar.

>Krux's voice would appear in Brutus' head again
Come back to headquarters. I am assigning you command of a surprise you might like... hehehe

>The lone corridor would be a dark, rusty mess. The walls covered in massive man sized pipes, that would run all across the station, from the massive fuel reserves at it's center. Ever step one takes, echoing throughout the corridor itself.
>The power itself has been turned off. Leaving the hallway unilluminated, lest you are equipped with a "Twin-linked" lasgun.

>Brutus would use tzeenchian bullshit to return to the warp

>The man yells down the hallway
VIKTOR!
>It echos back at him
Well that was fun

Rolled 11 (1d100)

a guess id better go find the circuit breakers
>rolling to search

>Michael would get as creative as he could get before being heretical and rev his eviscerator close to his face, his sparking rosarius serving to provide scattered and temporary light
>now that he could see, he continued forth with his guards

>a faint screech could be heard further into the abandoned station. Vents all around the station would shudder with running "footsteps"

>Whatever was in there was in large numbers, and was not human

So, other than my fearsome reputation, I am also a skilled cook. I plan on making an amazing dish, I require some time. Is this okay?

>Steve punches his mask to turn on his night vision goggles

>A moment later, something echos back to him.

>"FAGGOT~!"

>Sadly, a set of massive doors, block his path.

>he turns his night vision on, and his tactical flashlight and laser.
>he hears the noise
What the fuck?! I am not gay, I am straight, excuus moi.

well I guess I'll blow up these doors with a melta bomb

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>Steve rams the door to try to open them

>Something echos back.
>"DO IT, FAGGOT! I DARE YOU!"

Rolled 5 (1d20)

MEN, OPEN FIRE, PLASMA HIGH CHARGE!

This station is really angry.

I guess if I were a floating petrol station I'd be angry too

Rolled 40, 67, 56 = 163 (3d100)

>he launches several grenades from his 40mm grenade launcher at the door, conveniently melta grenades.

ok, the space station is alive
fuck you space station, im a tech priest, I do what i like and I like what I do.
> sets melta bomb on doors
> stands back
>smiles
>explosion

What is petrol?

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>rolling for explosion

>He would be shooting at the walls and doors.
>Sparks fly, and metal begins to melt, as plasma shits boil away metal pipes and walkeays.

An ancient terran substance, otherwise known as fossil fuels. Made from the hardened remains of primitive creatures from millions of years, it is a useless fuel. Humanity has moved to electric/hydrogen/promethium for fuel now.

Rolled 93 (1d100)

you dense... Stupid mother fucker! KEKUS supreme!
>The door would explode open.
>Among other things...
>Rolling for if the explosion ignores the fuel fumes

Rolled 6 (1d20)

Intriguing. Though knowledge normally leads to heresy....
ALL RIGHT THIS ISNT WORKING.
DO IT AGAIN BUT WITH SPIRIT!

>surprise
It stopped to be a long time ago. Can we finaly have updated schedule on this inspections?

Hmm.... it might in your mind, but I am sure the god emperor doesn't mind knowledge, as long as it is not heretical.

>Sadly for the priest. The door beyond, is full of fuel fumes.
>What's worse, is that his little nuclear powered stunt, just ignited ALL OF IT!
m.youtube.com/watch?v=v7ssUivM-eM
>Everyone, please roll a d100

...

Rolled 37 (1d100)

Rolled 16 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>Steve covers himself with his shield

Rolled 100 (1d100)

Rolled 41 (1d100)

oh dear

I am now on fire

>lars, being the smart man he is, decides to cover himself with a handy flame retardant
>he is safe.

AAH, YOU FUCKING IDIOTIC TECHPRIEST!

im not sure why a breaching charge, created such a large explosion.
I suspect that my colleague deph may have "upgraded" this charge without telling me

>Being 95% metal components has it benefits, it would seem. As such, when the hellish explosion went off a fee dozen feet away. Viktor would find himself mostly unscathed from the flames, save for some mild charring to his suit.

>Oh GOD EMPEROR! FIRE IS HIT! FIRE IS HOT! WHY IS FIRE SO HOT!?! OH GOD IT BURNS! WHY DOES IT BURN!?!
>Micheal is sent flying back against a set of pipes by the explosion. Leaving a massive priest sized dent in them. His rosarius, the only reason he is alive with mild second degree burns across 10% of his body.

Rolled 76 (1d100)

Rolling to put myself out

Rolled 71 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

ooc sorry everyone on the discord

Im not on fire anymore, but owwwwwwwwwwww

THE FIRE HAS SPARED ME! I AM THE FIRE LORD

ARGH, IF YOU SURVIVE THIS GELT, IM GOING TO KILL YOU!

>Meanwhile Barrington is patrolling around the station with the shuttle
Umm chaps, what's with the...explosion?

no you won't

Oh, its a teacup I suppose
>he chuckles
that is what we call praetorians on elysia.
Anyways, get under cover. Also, since we are done, shall I prepare the mess hall?

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>Steve, who is covered in burns punches the tech priest in the back of the head

>The tech-priest would find his robes aflame, and several dozen minor functions shutting down, as his body is sent flying a few feet into a wall.
>His collection of gear turning Gifs, has also been deleted it would seem.

>Michael would ignore him and probe deeper into the station, now illuminated by the remains of his torch from the planet officially designated as "oh god this planet has so many fucking mawlocs why emperor help me"

>Shows up, seeing all this idiocy, he scowls.

*under breath*damn elasyans
Why should I be under cover? I'm in a shuttle looking at the station from the outside in case emergency evacuation is needed, I'm not really comfortable with the rusted corridors of the abandoned spacecrafts

Wolfe look I'm the fire god
>the man is waving two zippos around in the air

Well... can you bring me along? Entire stations on fire, and we need to evac now. I have experienced similar things, one thing was that my entire regiment died.

>gelt, being made of metal would hurt to punch
> still concious but considerably dazed he would lean against the wall and begin to apply self repairs to himself and his robes

>From up ahead, would be sounds of furious laughter.
>"FUCKING FAGGOT ACTUALLY DID IT!"
>"I KNOW, RIGHT! WHAT A DUMB ASS!"
>I DOUBT HE, OR ANYONE WITH HIM IS STILL ALIVE! WANT TO GET HIGH OFF MORE FUMES?"
>"SURE! BEATS DOING DICK ALL!"

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>Short on patience, backhands the man in an attempt to bring him to his senses.

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>roll to see whats behind the flame blasted door

>Steve doesn't even feel pain anymore, only excessive rage and confusion

>the man matrix dodges the slap, pulling more zippos from within his coat whilst doing so

WOLFE, STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!
EXPLAIN YOURSELF!

>The door has been blown open. Revealing a corridor covered in quickly dispersing flames.
>It would seem the stations fire suppression system is also unpowered...
>Beyond the corridor, there would be a set of various other corridors, that had been blocked off by copious amounts of debris, and neatly stacked chairs.
>A maintenance hatch appears to be open.

>Lars manages to get off and into Gladstones shuttle
>he radios the ship to bring more to evac them.

MEN, CLEAR THIS RUBBLE
IM GOING DOWN THE HATCH!

Oooh, chairs. This looks like a health and safety breach boys, and if I don't clean up at least one of these a year one of my toes is cut off. So I suggest we move that one

Also potential for survivors and whatnot yadda yadda yadda.

>It's a rather dark looking passage that's just a foot or so beneath corridor above.
>If anything, it looks vaguely untouched by the fires above.
>Laughter can be heard coming from down the left passage.

>Meanwhile Belasya, happy that her timer has ran out, fucks off in her cloaked eldar space craft

MEN, GET DOWN HERE!
CHARRRRGGGGEEEE

>Standing at the entrance to the hatch, begins ordering Guardsmen down it.

>stands beside him, handing zippos to the men

>A large hulking figure charges through the wall...yelling
WHERE AM I!?

I don't really know, I just kinda pass out then wake up in these places. I think we're at a promethium station

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>Michael would run in to the room alone

Ah I see, thank you good sir, my name is Jefferson, ex-pianist

Cool, I'm not gonna question your sudden and questionable entrance. I'm Viktor, I used to be an Administratum Adept. I don't really know what I do anymore.

Hmm that's a good question by itself, I think my masters left me in a box here as a joke, anyways what are you all doing right now?

GUARDSMAN, HELP ME EXPLORE THIS ROOM!

Ummm...Oh course sir! Lead the way!
*Whispers*Do I even count as a guardsman?

>Steve is being sad in a corner, and tending his burns

Just play along, I think he has a mental condition.
The fire may have scorned you brother, but its light still burns bright within. Fear not, the fire's warmth may yet envelop you my child.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON ABOUT VIKTOR?
YOU DO THE PAPERWORK, YOU ARE NOT A DAMN SALAMANDER!