Could your character defeat Sportacus?

Sportacus can hoist up a goddamn pyramid with his biceps, most of my PCs aren't doing shit to someone that crazy strong.

youtu.be/FVoti5vXjyQ?t=1025

My life aches, I now await the heat death

>High level wizard
Need I say more?

>avatar of Hope

Have you not seen the show?

>mfw our hero Sportacus effortlessly withstands the soul-rending powers of the void

Being swole doesn't make you bulletproof.

In some manner of sporting competition I assume? No, but he would still do his best to have a fair contest and would congratulate him for a match well fought.

>cast an illusion on a puff of cotton candy to make it look like a fruit
>capture the now weakened sportacus
>fucking bury him alive
done

...

How is he supposed to grab and eat the 'fruit' without instantly realizing it feels nowhere near as solid and heavy as a piece of actual fruit?

>Cleric of the god of healthy competition, sport, and physical development.
Sportacus would be like a divine emissary to him. That doesn't mean he wont try to beat him though. After all, Kurgess encourages mortals to challenge themselves and push beyond their comfort zones, hoping to inspire greatness and the setting of even higher goals

its an advanced cabbage

>cabbage
>fruit
>mfw

>Not using prestidigitation to make it taste sweet, fooling Sportacus into thinking he's eaten sugar and placeboing him into unconsciousness
fucking amateur hour

advanced cabbages are fruit user

My character wouldn't have a reason to fight him. However, if they fought, Sportacus's Plot Armour (legendary magical armour) would make sure that any strike managed to miss in a hilarious and child-friendly way.

He's not a real villain. Like he has never captured a superhero or something.

>Fighting a real superhero

What am I? A villain?

Probably, flamers have a wide cone

>implying wizards can cheat a win over sportacus

>Make explosive runes
>Disguise them as the nutritional label

>Summon evil entity
>Entity sucks the strength/spirit/etc... out of sportaflop

>Simularacrum
>We are number one, but with a gang of Wizards who are also competent at killing a bitch

>Geas type spells
>Command him to eat only junk food.

It isn't if a wizard CAN win, but rather how creative they can be.

>explosive runes
>implying they won't just blow up comically and do no damage
>summon evil entity
>implying sportacus's friends won-t bail him out
>Simularacrum
>imolying you won't fail in spectacular fashion because of plot armor
>geas
>implying he won't just over come the urge to eat junk food

>Implying a hyper active madman wanting to enforce on a peaceful town his twisted vision of darwinistic society based on pointless labour supposed to somehow enrich you(workout makes you free? Yeah, I heard this somewhere before), but in fact only improves primitive physical skills, takes away time which could have been spent on something actually productive and creates a dystopian society of buffed out dumb workers obsessed with artificial rivalry with each other over meaningless and aggression building crap can be considered a "hero"
>Implying that Robbie, your friendly neighbourhood neet who fights for people's right to live in whatever way they fucking feel like living wasn't the good guy all along
Sportacus was a mad tyrant who's regime held Lazy Town with Iron Hand, enforcing sick ideas only a mind as twisted as his could come up with and tricking the citizens to worship him like a fake deity that he was. Just look at him, this guy lives in a massive, high tech Zeppelin. Who normal does that? It just screams "bad guy's mobile fortress" I bet this thing is stocked full of weaponry and ready to make Dresden look like a joke at the slightest sign of disobedience.

Now look at Robbie. His hideout(that's right, the poor guy has to hide in the sewer for disobeying Sportacus' regime and not willing to eat up his brain dumbing chad propaganda) is an underground cave with all sorts of genius gadgets? You know who else operated from a cave? Batman. Or Green Arrow.

Do you have any doubts about who the real hero is any more?

>Is my character a villian?
Hm. Well uh, technically, Nah.
>Has my character ever caught a real good guy, like a superhero?
Nah.
>Has my character ever tried a disguise?
Nah, Nah.

>implying

Chads are heroes. Sportacus is right. Go fuck yourself with your "there is not objective prime performance"
Fatties and lazy asses deserve the squat chamber.

Robbie the Commie

youtube.com/watch?v=4xLVySuwbOo

Literally what even is the squat chamber?

A place where it is always leg day and no one spots for you.

Eh, at least it's not Mr. Bones' Wild Ride.

We'll never know, they'd be pals.

>curling in the squat chamber

Yes, because he is number one.

this is an underrated and really good idea

Is it the same plot armor that protects him from ?

So basically SS?

No, he's immune to void powers because he has no darkness within himself. His plot armor protects him from physical attacks; his pure heart renders him immune to hostile magic.

I think you mean Dire Cabbages. Easy mistake to make.

Just like Yoko Ono.

...

Nobody can defeat sportacus, he's the absolute peake of human fitness and balanced diet. His Karma is so perfectly balanced in and on itself he can bend reality itself to his will, he just chooses not to, because destroying realities is bad for your kidneys

...

Strength:
>Does a flawless standing backflip while holding a bowling ball
>Lifts an old lady via makeshift pulley without strain.
>30 pushups, most of which are tricks like one-handed push-ups and flips
>Once lifted a boulder that was supposedly the heaviest in town, but I can't find the episode to verify.
Speed:
>Wins a race against a cheating opponent after being passed out for two laps, running at least 22.7 miles per hour
>Throws his pillows in the air, makes his bed, then catches his pillow with a hockey stick.
Agility:
>Does backflip first thing in the morning after waking up.
>Lands on one hand on top of a watermelon and balances there
Skills:
>Pilots a zeppelin around buildings
>Skilled with roller-blades
Endurance:
>Does 12 "power jumps" consecutively just to get warmed up.
>Gets all of the energy he needs for the day from three bites of watermelon.
Coordination:
>Balances on a Watermelon on one hand.
>Jumps out of the window and directly onto his segue-like "sky chaser" about 20 feet below (guesstimated).
>Hits an ice cube that's shot at him into a glass of water on the first try.
>Bungee jumps at just the right time to catch a paper airplane only about 2 feet from the ground.
Technology:
>Crystal informs him when someone is in trouble.
>Voice-activated zeppelin air drops things to him whenever he says to.
>"Sky Chaser" flying pedal-powered scooter
Weaknesses:
>Unobservant
>Passes out from eating refined sugar. For example, a candy apple.

Run or shoot? Run or shoot?!

Where is this from?

underrated

I mean, sportacus is what i want my martials to be.

But what the fuck is that hook made out of ?

Sir's creatine comic